Array
(
[text] =>
When I woke up, for the first time in a terribly long while I was excited for the day. Truly. Thomas lay with me, and arm in arm I matched his soft breathing. I could stay here forever. I could lay in this bed, with this boy, on this sunny morning for the rest of time and it would never get old. I couldn’t stop staring at his face. His beautiful face. It was strange because I had forced myself for so long not to look too long or look at all in case he or others suspected. But now, in my room, alone with him and the secret we shared, I could take in every eyelash and freckle. It was like finally seeing the whole movie after only seeing clips of it if that makes sense.
His eyes peeked open—and those golden eyes. How could they shine even more in the sunlight of this morning? And how could get this get any better?
“Good morning Arthur,” he said with a grin.
“Bon matin Thomas,”
This made him laugh. When he laughed, I could feel it too, and I started to laugh. And soon, we were having a laugh attack in my bed maybe simply at how hilariously happy we were.
After we had finally calmed down, I suggested we go make some breakfast. Noah was still out and Marcus had gone to my brother’s room, but Nik woke when entered the kitchen.
“Are we making food?! Fuck Yes!” he exclaimed, jumping off the couch.
Nik and I tried to figure out if we wanted thick or thin pancakes while Thomas made his apparently famous eggs.
“So how was your sleep?” I asked Nik while also focusing on not burning the decidedly thin pancakes.
“Heavy. How about you guys?” he asked casually.
I couldn’t help but smile and I saw Thomas was also holding back a toothy grin.
“Really well,” I replied.
Nik gave me and Thomas a confused glance. The old anxiety crept into my mind on instinct. But what was the most amazing feeling was what came after. The not caring. Who gives a fuck? I’m happy and in love, what else could they ask from me? Better yet, Nik didn’t even seem to really care either. Because what’s the big deal? Nothing is the answer. Abso-fucking-lutley nothing.
I placed the food on the table that Thomas had set just Marcus came downstairs and took a seat. Just as we’re all seated Noah woke up, and groggily made his way to the table. There was a moment of awkward silence as he was clearly a bit confused.
“Before we uh eat I’d like to uh thank you, guys. You saved my ass last night,” he said sincerely before continuing.
“Especially you Arthur, I didn’t deserve it,”
I wasn’t really sure what to say. I had just done what I hope he would’ve done for me.
“Yeah yeah we saved your drunk ass, now let’s eat,” said Marcus.
And eat we did.
After breakfast, we went to Marcus’ house to help him clean up. I was all for helping him until I stepped through the front door and saw what the house actually looked like. It was pretty amazing that almost no room had been left untouched so congrats to you underage party-goers. We spent almost the rest of the day picking up food, beer cans and searching up “how to get [insert devastatingly staining liquid] out of [insert probably expensive object].
“I’ve been wondering,” Thomas said quietly as we picked up the glass of the shattered coffee table.
“What happens now?” He asks, stopping to meet my gaze.
“That’s a big question,” I reply.
“We should try and find a big answer,” he says.
I truly don’t know. Why did he have to ask this? Couldn’t we have held on to this for a little longer? No, we couldn’t have. So what does happen now?
“Are we like…dating now?” I ask timidly.
He continues to pick up glass for a while before answering.
“No. Not formally anyway.”
I wasn’t really sure what to say next. I had never done this before and It wasn’t coming naturally. How do I go from having the opinion of a bagel to expressing my feelings?
“Would you like to? I don’t want to rush things, but I also don’t want to waste any more time,” He said.
I understood him completely. Was this it? Was I ready to be in my first relationship? Was he? I definitely knew what I wanted, but Thomas meant so much to me I didn’t want to screw things up.
“Can I do a few things first and then answer?” I asked.
His supportive smile confirmed he was thinking something similar.
“Of course you can Arthur.”
“And for now?” I asked. “What are we?”
“I would hope friends,” he replied.
“Hmm I guess,” I joked.
And for some reason, we were laughing again. Obviously at my professional humour, but also something else. Maybe at the weightlessness of contentment, maybe something greater.
After a quick lunch of Skip the Dishes MacDonalds, it wasn’t long after that Marcus declared the house “good enough, who gives a fuck.”
“Thanks, guys for today,” Marcus said to us as we lay by the pool.
“Anytime Marco,” replied Noah.
“It was still a pretty good party,” said Nik.
“Sure was,” Noah said with a nod.
“We all you know you had fun Noah,” joked Thomas.
Noah got up to play tackled Thomas and we erupted with laughter as he totally missed. Marcus picked him up and tossed him into the pool.
“Woo! Get in here you fuckers!” Noah hollered, taking off his shirt.
“Oh fuck it,” Nik said, stripping to his underwear and diving in.
Marcus followed. Thomas and I exchanged a playful glance. These kids were hot.
“Allons y,” I said in my worst French accent while taking off my shirt and shorts.
Thomas did the same and I couldn’t help but steal a hearty glance at his body before letting myself fall back into the pool. This is what it feels like to not be alone. This is what it feels like to be happy.
I think I’ll stick with it.
[text_hash] => 915bc3a1
)