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“He’s right there” Lin stands next to Tan at their lockers Monday morning staring at Sven talking to his friends. He looks so good wearing his letterman jacket and jeans that hug his butt perfectly, Tan is in the Sven Trance “hey!” Lin snaps him out “focus”
“What if this is a good thing?” Tan asks going back to what he was doing “maybe I’m not supposed to be with him, just drool from a distance like the gods intended.”
“Um no shut up you’re meant to be with him”
“Then why did I take him for granted? No one like me has ever gotten this far and I fucked it all up, I’m a disappointment to gay guys everywhere.”
“I should stop thinking like a woman and think like a gay guy!” Lin follows Tan’s posture as Tan stares at Sven, she fakes her trance “I see it… he’s too sexy”
“Yes! He is way too sexy”
“Ok but that was me talking, he’s too sexy for me because I’d never think about going after someone like that. Way out of my league, but you didn’t think that way and somehow got that man” she starts applauding embarrassing Tan
“Stop Lin” Tan pulls her hands down as people stare
“I’m just saying you got that once, I don’t doubt you can do it again.”
The day sucked for Lin the most, she didn’t realize it until today but she sees Sven in a day more than Tan does. During their gym class before lunch, Sven walks up to Lin as she plays basketball with the girls, as the guys play basketball together. “I need to talk to you” he stands in front of her on the court
She’s holding the ball about to throw it “join our team and we can talk,” Lin goes to run around him but he’s much faster and much taller so he takes the ball throwing it to someone else. “Not cool Sven!”
He takes her off the court “who did Tan sleep with?” He asks
Out of breath and sweating Lin remembers Tan’s demand “I don’t know” she answers and Sven scoffs rolling his eyes “he won’t tell us, says it’s to protect everyone.”
“You’re lying to me Lin and if it was just about Tan I would understand, but there’s someone else involved now”
“I want to know too Sven but he won’t tell me.”
“Remember all the shit you said about Tan only caring about Tan? And how I shouldn’t trust his lies? All of that was because you were mad at him, and you were so mad that you stopped talking to him. He still won’t tell the truth, but you just magically forgave him? You really want me to believe that?”
“There was no point in fighting if he never planned on telling anyone, it was just wasting energy”
“That’s such bull Lin come on! You want me to forgive him right?” Lin nods “then tell me! Do I know him? Does he go to this school?”
“I don’t know” Lin stands her ground “I’m sorry Sven”
“Yeah whatever” he walks away from her.
“Tanner” Tan hears the principal’s voice call him as he walks to class
“Yes, Principal Taylor” he turns to her.
“Can I see you in my office?”
“Sure” He follows behind her tall frame and high heels she rocks better than anyone. Walking in after her Tan shuts the door and waits for her to speak
Principal Taylor sits in her chair “you probably don’t know this but that job I offered your father’s colleague, he didn’t accept” Tan knows. “And since you are his acquaintance I was wondering if perhaps maybe you knew anything about him.”
“Anything like what?”
“I don’t know maybe something that could help me find him online, like a profile or website.” Tan smiles realizing Principal Taylor is hooked on Harris like he was, “I’ve called his office a couple of times but I’ve only connected with the assistant so I never left a message.” He continues to figure her out and Principal Taylor panics “you know what? This was not a good idea forget it, he’s a busy lawyer he wants nothing to do with a high school principal.”
“If I see him I’ll put in a good word” Tan smirks
“Go to class” she kicks him out.
Waiting till lunch Tan stands in the hall calling Harris “hi” the man answers
“Hey” Tan smiles at the sound of his voice “how are you?”
“Busy, being ADA keeps me on my toes”
“That’s great”
“What about you? How have you been?”
“Been fine I’m making amends so far so good” taking a beat Tan asks “so hey do you remember my principal?”
Harris thinks “Romona?”
“Yes!”
“What about her?”
“She calls me into her office earlier and goes on this rant about not being able to get in contact with you.”
“Yeah Teagan’s told me she called a few times but I’ve been so busy”
“I think she wants to see you.”
“Me? Why?”
“She like you Harry it was so obvious, of my four years here I’ve never seen someone make Principal Taylor nervous and you, she’s hooked on you.”
“I’m not calling your principal Tan”
“Why not? I mean she’s a respectable good looking woman, and have you seen her walk in heels I’m jealous.”
“She’s not you” he admits causing an awkward silence on the line.
“We talked about this Harry, I don’t want you to wait for me”
“I know but still it’s weird”
“It is not” Tan smiles “give her a call, what could go wrong?” He asks too soon, seeing Sven walks towards him Tan’s smile is gone “I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Ok bye” Harris hangs up.
“Was that him?” Sven asks stopping in front of Tan “the guy no one wants to tell me about”
“No” Tan shakes his head lying.
“How do you want us to be in some kind of relationship when I can’t even trust you?”
“Sven please” not wanting to hear Tan beg he walks away.
“I’m guessing you guys don’t know anything either?” Sven stops Erica and Ronnie as they’re walking to meet Lin and Tan
“Anything about what?” Ronnie asks
“The guy Tan slept with”
“Oh yeah no we don’t know anything about that”
“I don’t believe you, why are you lying for him?” Because they’re his best friends.
Erica answers “he told us not to worry, he made a mistake and it won’t happen again”
“Was there a script you guys read from? Those answers are sounding a little too rehearsed”
“Tan loves you, dude” Erica explains “and not just because you’re a hot athlete too hot to be true, I mean he genuinely loves who you are and it is hard to get to know someone when they look as good as you. I mean honestly, does that seem fair to you?” She turns to Ronnie “good-looking people expect you to see past their face and look deeper”
“Reel it in buddy” Ronnie whispers to her as she rants
“Right my bad. Back to the point, who the guy is doesn’t matter anymore he made a mistake give him a chance to make it better.”
“Thanks for nothing” he walks away
“You’re welcome” Erica calls out as he walks.
“Your boyfriend’s a mess,” Ronnie says as they meet up in the yard “he’s been asking us about Harris all day.”
“You guys didn’t say anything, right?” They all shake their heads
“He’s not going to forgive you, Tan,” Erica says feeling bad for him
“Maybe it’s for the best, I obviously always knew I didn’t deserve him. If I believed in us I wouldn’t have let what happened with Harris happen.”
Sometimes it is hard to believe that some people don’t always get their cake and eat it too, not everyone wins and things happen for a reason. “Come in” Tan answers the knock on his bedroom door
Shiela walks into Tan’s room that night “there’s someone asking to see you outside”
Dropping his phone he turns to his mom curious “who? Sven?” She nods and he jumps up
“He doesn’t want to come inside”
“It’s fine” Tan breathes “I know why he’s here.” Walking to his door he steps outside standing in front of the boy waiting for him “hi”
“I’m in love with you too Tan” Sven admits hands in his pocket “but I can’t trust you and that’s not ok, I can’t be with someone I can’t trust.”
Tan nods “I understand” he tries to not let tears fill his eyes
“I wanted this too I really did”
“We can do this, go to school and not let this bother us. I hope we can still be friends”
“I think we should try to focus on ourselves right now, graduation is a few months away and you need to start getting ready for Northwestern so… you’re gonna be pretty busy.” He avoids eye contact with Tan knowing the boy’s eyes make him weak
“What about you? What will you do?”
Sven shrugs “take a year off, maybe go to community college, it’s always an option.”
“I don’t believe that” Tan shakes his head “not for you”
“Yeah well, my grades are shit and no ones offering me a basketball scholarship any time soon so…”
“It’s going to be ok Sven.”
“I don’t have you or a school so I really don’t believe that but thanks”
“No matter what happens you’ll always have me” Tan would wait for Sven if he has to.
Sven wraps his arms around the boy’s body hugging him, “you’re gonna do great” Tan wraps his arms around Sven’s neck feeling disarmed by his touch.
“Thank you” Tan whispers against his shoulder.
That was it, they tried and that’s where it ends on Tan’s doorstep with a hug that could’ve been so much more.
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