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Tan rushes grabbing his cap and gown as Ronnie sits outside with the other girls anxious to graduate, “I’ll see you guys at school!” He yells to his parents before walking out the door.
Getting in the back seat next to Lin “were you planning on graduating today or next month?” Erica asks as they pull away
“Shut up”
“Guys we’re gonna be late, Principal Taylor will blow a fuse.”
“She’ll be fine” Tan answers and they all ride to school. “ok so let’s recap for the grad party tonight at Carrie Jensen’s, is your brother still getting us booze, Erica?”
“Yes, he’ll meet us at her house at 8”
“No we need it before we go in, we can’t get in if we come empty handed”
“First of all I dare Carrie Jensen to not let me in her house, and we will have it, trust!”
The last few months of school were not as easy for Tan and Sven as they were for everyone else, they didn’t talk to each other not even in math. Tan still went to his JV games to support but Sven doesn’t know. It broke Tan’s heart when he started seeing a girl, Sven had her pictures on Instagram, and Tan was actually being good although he saw Harris whenever he could, but nothing happened between them.
They get to school with the other late graduates and make a beeline to the gym as they put on their caps and gowns. Walking in everyone’s lined up “oh my god!” Principal Taylor exclaims walking to them “can’t trust you four to do anything right. Here are your cards, go find your spots like we practiced” they break up getting to their spots in the lines.
“Tan Tan Tan!” His friends rush up to him as he’s talking to his parents after the painfully long ceremony on the football field “Mr. Mrs. Milton can we borrow him for a few”
“Sure” his mom replies “don’t take too long our dinner reservations are at 4.”
“Ok he’ll be quick” Lin pulls him away.
“What’s going on?” Tan asks confused
“Look!” Erica points “my sources tell me they broke up” they look at Natasha Weyland crying
“And who’s your source?” Tan asks
“Josh but that’s not the point, he said that Sven was going to break up with her weeks ago but felt bad. Now he’s in the gym playing basketball… alone”
“So?” He looks between them “Sven and I haven’t said 2 words to each other in months”
“Tan you’re never going to see him again, go say something before it’s too late.” Ronnie’s right if Tan doesn’t say anything and they never cross paths again he knows he’ll regret it.
He sighs “ok”
“Yes! We have to get dinner with our families but text us and we’ll see you tonight” Tan nods and the girls walk away.
Tan walks to the gym walking in, there are a couple people in there but his eyes land on Sven shooting the ball still in his gown. Sven looks sad and Tan could tell, as he’s chasing the ball he sees the boy standing far away watching him. With an inviting smile and a head tilt he invites Tan closer, he takes a few steps not getting too close “congratulations” Tan says not knowing where to start.
“You too” Sven throws the ball at him and Tan catches it “I’m going to miss this place”
“Yeah it was good to you wasn’t it?” Tan dribbles the ball and tries to make a basket but fails
“Still haven’t learned huh?” Sven chuckles.
Tan shrugs “the only coach I had gave up on me” knowing Tan’s talking about him, Sven’s smile disappears and he takes the ball shooting it himself.
“Nat and I broke up,” he says not looking at Tan but Tan can’t take his eyes off Sven. “With her moving to New York and me going to Bradley it wouldn’t have worked.”
“I’m sorry, Sven” he stops then realizes “wait Bradley?” He asks shocked “you got into Bradley!!” Sven nods smiling “that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you”
“Thanks, it was pretty last minute but I got my athletic scholarship and everything”
“That’s really great Sven” his heart is happy for him. Tan’s phone rings in his pocket “yes dad?” He answers
“Come on Tanner your mother and I are waiting in the car out front”
“Ok I’ll be right out” he hangs up “stupid family dinner” he chuckles to Sven
“Yeah I should get going too my family’s probably waiting” they stand in front of each other still very much in love, and sad how visible it is and how hard they’re both trying to hide it “I’ll see you at Carrie Jensen’s tonight?”
“Yeah see you there” Tan walks away heading for the gym exit
“Hey!” Sven calls out and he turns “would you want to go together tonight? I could pick you up”
“I’d love that” Tan smiles “7:30?”
Sven nods “7:30.”
Sitting in his room after dinner with his parents, Tan’s on his bed with the door open texting his friends. “Excited for the senior party?” Shiela walks in asking
“It’s not really a senior party mom we’re all just gonna hang out at Carrie’s”
“I was a teenager once Tan I get it” she smiles trying to relate. “When are the girls coming I want to get some picture of you four before you go.”
“Actually…” Tan drops his phone sitting up “I’m not going with them, I mean I’m gonna meet them there but I’m going with someone else. Sven asked me”
“Sven?” She’s surprised “haven’t heard that name in a while” when she asked why he wasn’t around anymore Tan lied and said he got busy instead of what he really wanted to say. He’s a horrible liar who hurt Sven so much he couldn’t trust him.
“Yeah well, he just wanted to hang out on last time before we all go our separate ways.”
“That’s nice, he seems like a great young man”
“He is”
“Can I take pictures of you guys when he comes then?”
“No mom! That’d be weird”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.”
Getting ready Tan goes outside and waits till he sees Sven’s car pull up, stepping out Sven stands there waiting for the boy walking towards him with a smile. “Excited?”
“It’s our senior party, of course, I am” he’s mostly excited because they’re going together. Sven opens the car door for him “thank you” he climbs in
Sven goes in too and they take off to Carrie Jensen’s house. “I don’t know if Carrie will come through with the drinks but I got my brother to buy us a couple of kegs.”
“Yeah we talked Erica’s brother into getting us a couple of bottles too, so I guess everyone’s bringing booze.”
“That’s what happens when you let goody two shoes Carrie Jensen host the senior party” they laugh “no but I’m excited.”
“This is gonna be our last time together… all of us.” They make it to the house and walk into the very loud party together. “I’m gonna go find my friends” Tan says
“Me too” they go their separate ways.
“Put that down and come with us” The girls walk up to Tan as he’s talking to someone, they pull him to the kitchen “take these” Erica hands him two beers
“What’s going on?”
They show him Sven sitting in the backyard legs dipped in the well-lit pool “he’s been like that since you guys got here and you ditched him.” Lin explains
Tan watches him “go talk to him” Erica pushes
“I can’t… he doesn’t want me back you guys”
“At least go try and be a friend Tan he needs that.”
Tan wants to be there for Sven but the last few months and an awkward car ride proves Sven is really done with him, “you talk about him constantly” Lin says. The girls stare at him as his eyes are glued on the sad boy by the pool.
“This is your last chance Tan,” Ronnie says and they let go.
Taking a breath with the beers in his hands Tan walks out to the backyard with barely anyone around.
“Hey” Sven looks up when Tan stops next to him
“Mind if I join?” Tan smiles
“Sure” He hands Sven a beer “thanks.” After rolling up his pant legs Tan sits next to Sven holding his beer, “fun party” Sven comments
“Yeah, Carrie didn’t disappoint” Sven tries to put a smile on his face for Tan but it’s hard to hide how down he really is. Sven hasn’t been happy in a while and he knows why “excited about Bradley?”
“Yeah but I’m kind of nervous actually”
“Why?”
“I have to drive there tomorrow to meet the coach and try out for the team”
“Doesn’t a basketball scholarship guarantee you a spot on the team?”
He shakes his head “an athletic scholarship guarantees me a spot on a team not necessarily basketball, so I have to try out early to be considered in the fall.”
“Oh… well there’s no reason to be nervous you’re really good Sven”
“I’m a JV captain with no championships, doesn’t really look good.” He drinks his beer
Tan tried to think but comes up with no way he could help, last time he tried to make Sven feel better they had sex but he knows that that’s off the table. “What if I came with you?” Tan suggests “no one likes to go through something so nerve-wracking alone… I’m always here for you if you need.”
Sven looks in his eyes and honest smile “thanks but this is something I have to do alone, and you probably want to spend as much time with your friends as possible.”
Tan sighs keeping his smile to show Sven that his rejection didn’t hurt, but it did and Tan can’t keep being nice. “I wish you needed me,” he says louder than expected
“Tan…”
“I know you’d rather be with anyone else and I can’t be trusted”
“Natalie and I broke up, but you already knew that.”
“Why did you even date her?” Tan questions
“We were both kind of using each other till the end of the year”
“Using each other?”
“Yeah, she needed to get all the sex out of her system and focus on school, and me… I needed to stop thinking about everything.”
“You guys had all the sex” Tan smiles hiding his jealousy.
“I probably didn’t have to say that part”
“No it’s fine you’re your own person, you’re allowed all the sex you want.”
“What about you?”
“Me no, no sex for me” he quickly denies
“Oh figured you’d…” Sven hints at Tan about moving on
“No, you were it for me Sven” they both look into the pool and Sven drinks his beer. “I don’t want anyone else.”
Not wanting to say anything he didn’t mean or wasn’t ready to say Sven finishes his beer. “It’s the last night of our senior year and we’re wasting it moping,” he steps out of the pool “let’s go back inside and have fun.”
Sven reaches out to Tan and Tan takes his hand getting up too, they dry off outing their shoes back on before joining the rest of the party.
Deciding its time to stop moping and start having fun Tan is dancing with his friends, some time has passed and he and Sven go back to ignoring each other. Sven is moving on and Tan has to let him he got his chance and ruined it, nothing he can do now.
“God I need a drink!” He shouts to his friends before walking away
Heading for the kitchen Tan stops at the entrance when he hears “come on Nat ditch this lame ass party with me, my parents are gone we could have some fun of our own before our last day as seniors end.”
“Sven you’re drunk and I’m not leaving our senior party” Tan sneaks a peek at Sven cornering her against the fridge. “And plus don’t think I didn’t see you talking to him earlier, you made me lie to everyone about why we broke up knowing the real reason.”
“Nothing’s going on between me and him I was with you, right? Why are you being like this?”
“Because I did anal with you and you shouted his name!” She shoves him and Tan covers his mouth to mask his gasp, “I’m done doing shit for you because you flash a cute smile, go be with Tan he’s who you really want.” She walks away heading right towards Tan who tries to abort but fails, she stops when she sees him “he’s all yours” and keeps walking.
Taking a beat to breathe and try to act like he wasn’t eavesdropping on their conversation, Tan walks into the kitchen as Sven pops the cap off another beer “hey” Tan says standing far away.
Sven sees him and instead of replying he brings the bottle to his lips and chugs, when he’s done he stares at the liquor covered counter “make you a drink?”
“Um I’m ok I should pace myself, I don’t do well drunk”
“I remember” he laughs “tenth grade at Josh’s party you got dared to chug a cup full of all kinds of shit and you did it, without fear.”
“I was so sick the next day my mom thought I had food poisoning, probably didn’t help that I looked like hell.” Tan watches him chug the beer again “maybe you should slow down with those”
“Yeah, but what’s the point it’s our last night to get fucking wild right?”
“Is feeling like hell tomorrow worth it though?”
“Tan stop pretending you give a shit all right?” He turns to the worried boy who watches as he gets sloppier. “I’m so tired of trying to act like everything’s ok, like we weren’t together and you didn’t hurt me. We’re not together anymore hell we’re barely even friends, you don’t care about me. So go live your life and I’ll do the same.” He grabs another beer walking out of the kitchen leaving Tan.
“You all right Boobs?” Lin walks over to Tan who’s watching Sven go around the party from a distance, “why do I always find you in the corner of parties watching him?”
“He yelled at me” Tan sighs taking a sip of his soda
“What happened?”
“Turns out he and Nat actually broke up because of me, heard them in the kitchen. He said that he’s been pretending everything is ok but he’s still hurt.”
“Damn that sucks Tan”
He frowns “and what’s worst is he’s doing this when he knows he has something important to do tomorrow.”
“Are you crying?” Lin looks over as tears run down his cheeks
“No” he denies. “I’m just worried, I don’t know how to help him”
“Want me to go talk to him?”
Tan shakes his head “I don’t care if he hates me, I know he needs me right now.” Handing Lin his cup he cleans his face “Tell the other girls I’m leaving, I’ll see you guys tomorrow for our yoga class”
“Ok.”
Walking over to Sven “TAN TAN!” Sven yells spotting him “TANNER MILTON’S IN THE HOUSE!!!” He screams Tan’s name and people around him cheer, he’s too drunk to remember the mean things he said earlier.
“I’m ready to leave”
“What are you talking about Tanner Milton we’re gonna be here all night!” He laughs and continues to party
“Um no I have important things to do tomorrow and you were my ride here so let’s go”
“Fine fine” he gives up “don’t let this party end!” He turns to his friends “I’ll be right back” Sven is clearly too drunk to drive but Tan has a plan. They leave the house together walking to the car “I’m gonna drop you home and head right back here! Seniors party all night baby!” He shouts on his way to the car
“Hey so I haven’t told you this but I have my drivers license now, cool if I drive?”
“Holy shit!” Sven gasps “you did?” Tan nods “can I stare at it while you drive?”
“Sure” Tan takes out his wallet handing Sven his drivers license
“Here take this I’m gonna stare at this for a second” he hands Tan his keys, Tan helps him in the passenger seat of his Jeep and gets behind the wheel. “Your hair looks so fucking great in this picture”
“Thanks, I think” Tan pulls away
“And look it’s one of those special ones too so we can drive to like Canada or something” he gasps “do you want to drive to Canada? We should go to Canada”
Tan smiles “sure we’ll go to Canada”
“Yes! Ok we’ll get snacks and I just have to stop home and get a few things and we’ll go”
“Sounds like a plan” Tan drives to his house.
As he’s driving “god it’s so fucking hot! Are you hot?”
“Here I’ll turn on the air” Tan turns it on and Sven takes off his seat belt “What are you doing?” He watches as Sven struggles to get his jacket off, as he’s pulling his jacket his shirt lifts exposing his chest and Tan tries not to stare.
“That was hard to do” he throws the jacket in the back seat
“Great can you put your seatbelt back on please?”
He does it “I’m so thirsty is there any water in this car?” He looks around
“I don’t know it’s your car”
“When we get to your house can I get a drink before going back?”
Tan looks over as he rests his head against the window shutting his eyes “sure” he replies softly, the car gets quiet. Tan drives till he gets to Sven’s house pulling into the empty driveway, getting out he walks to Sven’s side “hey” he tries to be gentle waking Sven up “gotta get up we’re here”
“Where?” Sven raises his head as Tan reaches taking off his seatbelt
“We’re home.” Helping the boy out of the car, Tan wraps Sven’s arm around him, and it’s ridiculous for him to think he’d be able to carry Sven to the house, but Tan’s not giving up. He unlocks the front door helping him in
“You’re so strong” Sven smiles as Tan struggles, making it to his room Sven stops when Tan turns the light on “wait this isn’t your house it’s mine, why are we here?”
“Because you need to go to bed, you have somewhere important to be tomorrow”
“Or I know why we’re really here” Sven smirks turning to Tan, running his hand against the boy’s lips Sven moves closer planting his lips on Tan’s. They start to kiss each other “I want you” Sven speaks softly against his lips
“You can have me anytime you want” tan replies making Sven happy, “just not like this” he pulls away “you don’t want me like this.” Moving away Sven walks to his bed dropping in it “and tomorrow you’ll wake up and go back to not wanting me” he watches Sven take off his shoes.
“I really want some water”
“Sure.” Tan leaves walking to the kitchen turning on the lights, he starts to open cabinets until he finds a glass and fills it up. Taking a minute to breathe before he goes back to Sven’s room, Tan sees the almost naked boy laying there in his boxer-briefs. Walking closer “Sven?” He calls his name “here’s your water” sitting up with his eyes shut Tan puts the glass in his hand, “I’m gonna call Ronnie to pick me up and take me home, make sure you get some sleep.”
Tan waits for him to lay back down then turns off the light leaving. Leaving the house Tan take his phone out of his pocket texting Ronnie, as his thumbs type a phone call flashes on the screen “hello” he answers
“I don’t know how but I just dialed your number”
Tan chuckles “you memorized my number?”
“Maybe” Sven lays on his back miserable “where’d you go?”
“I told you Ronnie’s coming to get me” Sven is quiet “are you ok?”
“No, I don’t want you to leave?”
“You have to sleep, Sven”
“I’ll sleep better if you’re next to me”
Tan is confused, he wants all of this but Sven is drunk so he knows it isn’t real. “Okay” he agrees hanging up, walking back in Tan walks to the boy’s room to find him already passed out in bed. Taking off his shoes and jacket he climbs in next to Sven, he takes a deep breath hoping he’s doing the right thing.
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