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“Hey Teagan” Tan walks over to her desk as she gets up grabbing her bag
“Hey”
“Harris in there?”
“No he’s been in court all day should be back soon though, I’m done for the day”
“All right I’ll just wait in there for him”
“Ok bye Tan.”
“See ya” he walks into Harris’s office shutting the door. Staring at the man’s sophisticated chair Tan gets the urge to sit in it, doing so he gets comfortable and starts to look around.
Bored out of his mind, Tan paces waiting for Harris to come back. He looked through every drawer in the office even though Harris is a lawyer and snooping is probably illegal. He finally walks in and Tan stops walking “Tanner” he stops seeing Tan’s face
“Hi” Tan smiles nervously “took you long enough”
“Were you waiting for me?” Harris shuts the door walking to his desk dropping his briefcase and taking off his jacket.
“Yes I really needed to talk to you”
“All right” Harris sits in his chair behind his desk with Tan sitting in front of him.
“I know it’s been almost 2 weeks since…” Harris had angry sex with him in front of his front door then ignored him. “I really need to explain myself”
“No you don’t, what I did was unacceptable I am very sorry if I took advantage of you.”
“What? Harry no” Tan moves to the tip of his chair reaching out touching the man’s hand, “I loved every second of what happened, and you did not take advantage never think that.” He pulls his hand away “I shouldn’t have broken up with you without a better explanation.”
“It’s the guy I met at your house right? What was it, Ben?” Harris guesses
“Sven” Tan corrects “and yes. I-” he drops his head embarrassed “I have a crush on him, I’ve had a crush on him for so long and Sven’s finally giving me a chance. I want to take it, I have to or I feel like I’ll regret it and I don’t want to live with regrets.” Harris listens to every word, taking everything Tan is saying in “but that doesn’t mean you’re not special to me because you are, what we have is definitely more than I’ve ever expected.”
“Your heart belongs to Sven, I get it”
“I know it’s not a guarantee that Sven and I will be together forever, but if I’m trying this with him I have to wholeheartedly” Harris nods understanding. He’s proving to Tan he can be an adult about the situation, doesn’t mean it’s not hurting. “Can we still be friends?”
“Sure I’m here for you no matter what”
Tan smiles “thanks Harry” getting up he turns heading for the door
But Harris says “ask me to wait, I will” Tan looks at him and they both smile. “I’m a very patient person”
“I know that” Tan stands at his desk looking down at the man in the chair behind it, “asking you to wait wouldn’t be fair. You’re going to find someone great”
“You’re great”
“But I’m not enough, not for you at least. I wanted to be though, I wanted to be everything you wanted because you’re so amazing, but someone equally amazing deserves that.”
“Okay”
“Thank you for understanding, Harry”
One amends down, 4 more to go.
When they were in the ninth grade Linda, Erica, Ronnie, and Tanner would meet each other at Camden Park and talk about everything that was wrong. It used to be their time to open up, they’d sneak out meet there in pajamas at night with snacks. Sometimes it was dark and scary but they had each other. That’s how Tan plans on getting his friends back, they outgrew that tradition but Tan needed a comeback.
Camden Park 6 pm, I’m ready to tell you guys everything. He sends the text and they receive it.
Camden Park was the perfect spot because it was close enough to all of their houses, after a walk they were all in the park meeting at the lone picnic table. “I always hated coming here at night” Lin complains
“It’s still light out Lin,” Erica says as they walk together, getting to the table they see Tan sitting there waiting. They take a quick look at each other confirming then they walk over, all taking their position at the table.
“October 23rd, 2016” he smiles saying after they sit down “that’s the last time we were at this table together.”
“2 years ago?” Lin asks “it’s really been that long?” They all nod
“I didn’t think you guys would show”
“This is tradition, 2 years or not” Ronnie answers
“We’re listening whenever you’re ready to tell us everything.”
“Right um” the girls all focus on him and he fiddles with his fingers on the table, “2 months ago I did the craziest thing I’ve ever done. The guy that you all saw at school-“
“Harris Wheeler” Lin confirms
“Yes, I’ve always had him to talk to when things were bad at home, he’d listen and be there for me. I couldn’t help having feelings for him I mean you guys saw what he looks like. After getting into a fight with my parents one night I ran away to the city and went to his place, he always said he would take care of me if it all became too much to handle. We were there at his place alone as he cooked for me and I guess we just couldn’t help it.”
“What happened?” Ronnie asks
“We had sex” Tan confirms
“I can’t believe you lost your virginity to the guy and didn’t tell us about it” Lin reacts
“So let me get this straight, he works for your father?” Erica asks
“Practically under him” Tan answers
“And you guys have been friends this entire time?”
“Yes”
“Then you slept together 2 months ago, and he just shows up at our school looking for you?”
“No, we’ve been sleeping together the past 2 months” he admits causing a wave of gasps, “and it was just a coincidence he was there, one I couldn’t keep from happening.”
“Tan you slept with this guy for 2 months behind our backs?!” Lin yells unintentionally
Tan nods “what the fuck dude!” Erica barks
“I can’t believe you went through that alone!” Ronnie adds
“I couldn’t tell anyone it was eating away at me, Harris could be in a lot of trouble if anyone finds out especially my parents, I was protecting him.”
“You know damn well you didn’t have to protect him from us” Erica is right but Tan couldn’t take that chance.
“Wow” Lin holds her head “I’m still in shock… you lost your v card which you swore up and down was being saved for Sven. you were in a secret love affair with an older man right under our noses.”
“That’s not all”
“Uh oh”
“I also slept with Sven” he shuts his eyes admitting
“What the actual fuck!” Erica stands
“When?” Ronnie asks
“4 weeks ago when I borrowed your car to go see him after the championship”
“I knew it!” Ronnie jumps “you were acting so different and neither of you spoke about that day.”
“I thought I knew you better than anyone and even I didn’t expect this much”
“Lin you do know me you’re the one who figured it all out”
“If I didn’t would you have told us?”
Tan thinks “yes” he answers honestly. “I’m so sorry I kept all of this from you guys, it was driving me crazy to lie so much.”
“Any other bombs you want to drop before we ask very detailed questions?”
“Umm I don’t think so… oh wait my parents and I are in therapy”
“Tan that’s great”
“Thanks, I think it’s actually working.”
“What are you going to do?” Lin asks “Sven knows you slept with someone else”
Tan shrugs “he won’t talk to me”
“And Harris?”
“We ended it, things were getting too complicated and I have to protect him no matter what.”
“What was it like?” They move closer getting ready for the dirt
Tan smiles “it was amazing” he giggles “Harris is gifted”
“Details bitch!” Erica demands
“He is everything you’d ever want in a man, made me feel so grown, he never blamed me for anything like I always do to myself. I was an adult, and the sex oh my god! Harris Wheeler is a freak you guys” they all laugh. “I’m happy he was my first, very unforgettable.”
“And Sven?” Erica asks what they’re all thinking “what was sleeping with him like?”
“He was so depressed that day and I was going through so much, we were both in a terrible headspace. We used each other and it didn’t feel right, so we haven’t had sex since”
“It was that bad?”
Tan nods “we weren’t ready. But we got better, I was so right about him you guys” he looks at the girls “he is so sweet to me and helpful even after the awkward sex.”
“You guys haven’t done anything like that since the sex?”
“We kiss and cuddle and it’s everything, but now it’s ruined, I got selfish and wanted both and messed it all up.”
“Don’t worry” Ronnie stands up walking to Tan “we’re gonna help you get him back”
“Hell Yeah!” Erica moves closer too and they all group hug.Tan smiles feeling so much better getting that weight off his chest, he has his friends back.
“Get out of the car Tan” Erica demands as Ronnie is parked in front of Sven’s house
“It’s so late he’s probably in bed” Tan stares at the house afraid
“It is 8 pm on a Saturday night, if he’s sleeping he’s 87 years old”
“He’s so mean to me, you guys”
“And you fucked up.”
“Erica!” Lin taps her
“I’m sorry but you had a good thing with Sven, mean or not you mess up you fix it… or we’ll kick your ass”
“Fine!” Tan breathes “to shut you all up” he gets out of the car shutting the door “do not move.”
Tan walks towards Sven’s front door very nervous, trying not to sweat he knocks. No one answers so he looks around spotting a doorbell, he presses it and the entire house rings. He turns freaked out and sees Ronnie’s car with his friends watching through the windows, the front door opens “Tanner hi sweetie”
“Hi, Mrs. Beck, is Sven home?”
“Yeah he’s in the basement with his friends, I was about to take this down to them” she signals to the pizza in her hand “here he’ll be glad to see you.”
Tan smiles taking the pizza, following the sound of loud boys he heads down the basement stairs “PIZZA’S HERE!” One of the guys yell seeing Tan with it
They all pause the game rushing taking the pizza from his hands, Tan stares at Sven who’s ignoring him. With everyone busy eating he walks over to Sven on the couch “hey”
Keeping his eyes on the tv as he holds the controller still playing “you deliver pizzas now?”
“Only to guys I like”
“What’s that? Half of Chicago” Sven hurts his feelings, Tan knows he’s only being this way because he’s hurt
“Can we talk, please?”
“I’m right in front of you… talk”
Not wanting the other guys to hear Tan suggests “can we talk in your room, it’ll be quick I promise.”
Sven stands up “what about outside so you’ll leave quicker?”
“You don’t have to be like this” Tan defends himself
“Oh ok, so I should just be cool with you cheating, yeah?”
“Sven please” Tan gestures a better tone.
“Outside” Sven makes it clear then walks away heading for the stairs “be right back guys.”
Tan follows trying to stay focus, Sven’s perfect muscular butt is right in his face and he doesn’t want to get distracted.
They walk outside and Sven shuts the door. The girls are waiting “wait guys look they’re outside!” Erica spots first and they all jump turning to Sven’s front door.
“What are they saying?” Lin speculates and Ronnie’s eyes are glued through the windshield.
“I am so sorry I slept with someone else” Tan frowns
“You said that already, next”
“Sven it was a mistake I was confused and greedy, I hurt you and I swear I didn’t mean to.”
“I have a couple of questions”
“Okay” Tan prepares to tell the truth
“Lin being mad at you, what was that about?”
“She suspected who it was but she didn’t know, she got upset when I wouldn’t tell her.”
“You were lying to them too huh?”
“I kept it from everyone for a reason”
“So all those times you’ve thrown yourself at me, then wouldn’t have sex with me you were screwing some other guy. Or did you guys just have sex once, and you got scared because of how bad it was like when we did it?”
“It wasn’t just once” Tan admits
Sven laughs “is he laughing?” Ronnie asks in the car “did Tan do it?”
“Tan, what the fuck? I fell for you because I thought we were different, I thought you were different. You saw me Tan all of it and it didn’t push you away, and all I’ve ever tried to do is be there for you because I know not a lot of people are.” He stops talking and although everything he said was important Tan heard a crucial sentence, I fell for you. That’s all the confirmation he needed
“I’m in love with you” he starts “and I’ve never messed up something I’ve wanted so bad this much before, I hurt you and there are zero excuses for what I did. The only argument I have is that I Tanner Milton am in a crap ton of love with you, and I’m not now realizing it, I’ve always known. You’re the father to my children if nature ever allows us that, that’s how sure I am of my feelings for you.”
“What’s his name?” Tan is thrown the only question he can’t answer. “If you tell me who it is I’ll think about forgiving you”
“I’m… not going to tell you who it is Sven, because it doesn’t matter, and it shouldn’t matter. We’re here now it’s just you and me the other guy has been out of the picture for a while.
“You’re not going to tell me?”
Tan shakes his head “I can’t” Sven sighs and walks inside “Sven wait-” he shuts the door in Tan’s face.
“Oh shit!” Erica reacts
“That did not look good” Lin adds as they stare at the boy standing at the door confused. Deciding not to go back in Tan walks away heading to the car, the girls try to act natural as he climbs in the back seat next to Lin. “How’d it go?” She smiles acting as if they didn’t see everything
Tan drops his head in his hands “if he asks anyone of you about the guy I slept with you have no idea, all right?” He can’t see them but they nod “I mean no trying to guess who, tell him you chewed me out for it and I wouldn’t budge” he looks up and they’re all staring at him.
“What happened?” Ronnie asks from behind the wheel
“He said the only way he’ll think about forgiving me is if I tell him who it is”
“Then tell him who it was and beg him to move on,” Lin suggests.
“Yeah, all right… Sven, it was ADA Harris Wheeler that works at my father’s office in a giant building in the city. He’s nowhere near our age but he made me feel so different.”
“All right I get it”
“If you don’t tell him he won’t forgive you”
“And if I tell him, Harris could be in trouble.”
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