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Tan slowly wakes up to the sound of music, he opens his eyes and his sights land on Sven dripping wet with a towel around his waist looking in his closet. He looks over to Sven’s computer on his desk where the music is coming from, sitting up he continues to watch Sven as he wipes his eyes. Sven turns seeing him and he smiles “good morning” he greets Tan
“Morning” Tan replies in his tired morning voice
“Sorry if I woke you up, I like to listen to music when I get ready”
“It’s ok” Tan yawns stretching “how do you feel?”
“Threw up a shit ton earlier and besides a headache, I’m good.” Sven watches tan sit at the end of the bed putting his shoes on “thanks for last night.”
“You’re welcome” Tan stands after tying his shoes “any chance you could give me a ride home on your way out?”
“Um, I was actually thinking if you weren’t busy today maybe you could come to Bradley with me for tryouts, if you still want to? I remember you asking last night before I blacked out”
“What else do you remember about last night?” As in how drunk he actually was and the kiss
“Not much… we talked in the pool then I just started chugging whatever I could find, figured when I woke up next to you this morning, you somehow got me here.”
“I did” Tan nods “wasn’t easy though” he chuckles “you’re a sloppy drunk” Sven laughs along.
“I’m sorry” he shakes his head embarrassed “So are you in? For today…”
“Of course”
“Thank you Tan” Sven smiles at how good Tan is still being to him even after months of no contact.
“Anytime, I do need to stop home to shower and change though”
“Sure I’ll change and we can head there”
“It’s a plan.” They stand there staring at each other until it gets awkward, and Tan remembers Sven is naked. “I’ll go stand out there while you get dressed”
“Ok” he walks out shutting the door behind him.
“When will you be back?” Tan’s in his room getting dressed while on the phone with his mother
“Later I promise” he looks around for his other shoe
“Good your dad and I wanted to give you your graduation present tonight”
“Graduation present? What is it a car?” He guesses jokingly and Shiela stays quiet “holy shit is it a car?”
“Bye Tan” She hangs up and he continues getting ready.
“I’m pretty sure my parents got me a car,” he starts walking to the living room to join Sven who’s waiting
“How do you know?”
“My mom was being very cagey on the phone, and I finally got my license so it’d make sense”
“You got your license?” Yeah he was that drunk
Tan laughs “we had a whole conversation about it last night but yeah I did a few weeks ago”
“That’s so awesome! Do you want to drive?”
“Thanks” he smiles “but no we’re going on highways and those still freak me out.”
“What but highways are the easiest parts because you don’t have to stop”
“Sven that’s probably what freaks me out about it the most”
“Ok fine I’ll drive” they finally walk out of the house and both boys look around, “do any of these cars look brand new?”
He scans the street “no my parents would never park it out in broad daylight, they know I’d figure it out.” They drive to Bradley and Tan notices hot tense Sven is, he’s really quiet, he moves a lot and the veins in his arms are showing more than usual. “Are you ok?” Tan looks at him and he smiles hiding the intense look he had before
“Yeah just trying to not throw up before I play”
“You’re not going to throw up, you got this”
“I do thanks” he smiles but Tan notices the lack of confidence.
Finally getting to the school, they have to part ways while Sven meets the coaches and change to try out. Standing outside the locker room, Tan waits for Sven and the other players to get ready before heading to the gym. He’s confident in Sven and there’s no doubt Sven will do amazing, but he knows how worried Sven is so he wants to stay close just in case he needs him.
The guys start to exit the locker room heading to the gym, he waits for Sven but after all the other guys exit, still no Sven. “You Tan?” One of them asks him
“Yes”
“There’s a guy in there asking for you” he walks away.
Walking into the room “Sven?” Tan walks around looking for him, seeing Sven sitting with his head down Tan walks close lowering himself in front of him. “What’s going on?”
“This always happens, I’m fine during regular games but as soon as I’m put in the hot seat or I’m singled out, it’s like I shut down.” He picks his head up looking at Tan who’s still bent on his knees in front of him “I don’t want to mess up.”
Placing his hand on Sven’s hands Tan starts “remember when we were 15? You and I started growing apart, but you’d still talk to me once in a while. You told me you thought you were ready to try out for varsity, even though you knew it was a long shot. I never doubted you, I never worried because I knew the outcome. You’re an amazing basketball player, you always give it your all and you’ve come such a long way. It’s ok to be scared or nervous but don’t doubt what you can do.” Pulling Tan up Sven sits Tan next to him and they hold hands “I know how good you are all you have to do is go in there and prove that to those coaches, show them they’d be missing out not having you on the team this fall.”
“But Tan” Sven turns to him and they look at each other “I’m going to mess this up, I can feel it.”
The look of worry on Sven’s face is clear to Tan, how can he help him? Leaning close Tan kisses Sven, he was scared to do it but Tan thought that Sven needed it. Sven kisses back so this wasn’t anything unwarranted. Tan caresses his face as he slowly pulls away “I love you” he says near Sven’s lips “and I know you can do this.”
Waiting with everyone else outside while the guys are in the gym trying out Tan can’t stop thinking about that kiss, and telling Sven he loves him. It wasn’t a lie but neither the kiss and the I love you was part of the plan, and now he’s worried, did he just ruined the friendship they were trying to mend? Sven kissed him back so maybe they’d be all right.
Too nervous and jittery to wait for Sven inside Tan decides to wait out near the car, he knows it’s almost over so he’d have to face what happened soon.
“Did he say it back?” Lin asks as he’s on a four-way call with his friends,
Leaning against the car “no” Tan replies
“But maybe he was going to, I mean you guys were interrupted, right? Maybe he just didn’t get the chance” Ronnie tries to reassure him
“Fuck that! Tan when he comes out you should just flat out ask him, do you or do you not love me? Because he’s playing all these games and it’s not fair to you”
“No Erica I’m not doing that! It’s three little words he had enough time to say it back and he didn’t, now I just look stupid.”
“You don’t look stupid Tan I’m sure he loves you”
“Then why didn’t he say it back Ronnie?” Erica asks for him
“Hey!” Sven calls out and Tan sees him walking towards him fully dressed and with a smile
“He’s coming I’ll text you guys” he quickly hangs up. Taking the smile on Sven’s face as a good sign he asks “how’d it go?”
Stopping when he gets to Tan “good I think but they didn’t say anything, just told me to expect a phone call.”
“I’m not worried you’re going to make that team”
Sven chuckles at his confidence and how nonchalant Tan’s being about something so serious to him. “Should we get some lunch before heading back?”
“Yes please, I’m starving!”
Throwing his gym bag in the trunk the boys get in the car and Sven drives away.
Sitting at a restaurant waiting to order, Sven stares at Tan while he’s distracted looking at the menu. “I want to ask you one thing, then I promise I’ll never bring it up again.”
Tan looks up from his menu “sure” he puts it down focusing on Sven
“Were you in love with the other guy?” The serious question causes Tan to lose his smile
He wants to be honest and that question might be too much honesty for them both, but after everything, Sven deserves the truth. So that’s what he’ll do, tell the truth “I’ve always had feelings for you when we were kids I didn’t know it was love. I was going through so much and I really needed someone. I couldn’t go to you anymore and I guess it started to feel like no one really got me, he understood everything I was going through and didn’t make my problems feel like they didn’t matter-“
“Did I do that?”
“No Sven but I didn’t have you, I needed someone and he was there so it just kind of happened. I care about the other guy but I am undeniably and always will be in love with you.”
“The thought of you with someone else killed me, but I get it I wasn’t there for you, then I let my jealousy get the best of me.”
“I didn’t mind that you were doing your own thing I understood, and maybe I thought if this is more than my imagination, you’d come back to me. But I didn’t believe it because… you were too good to be true” he admits, “and sometimes when things are too good to be true they usually are. So, I tried to move on.”
“Did what happened between you and him happen before us?”
“Yes way before, but then you kissed me and it stopped happening with the other guy, till it just started again and I couldn’t control it anymore.”
“I want to stop blaming you because this is my fault too so I’m sorry”
“Don’t be, if I spent all four years of high school focused on you like I was freshmen year, I wouldn’t have met my amazing friends. Probably still be in my crazy hair phase” they chuckle “you’d honestly get tired of me.”
Sven shakes his head “I don’t think so.”
Tan stares into his brown eyes and the moment shifts, pulling himself from the daze “so what are you gonna get?” He looks down at the menu
“Um” Sven opens his looking around “probably a burger, what about you?”
“Yeah, same.”
“All right guys” the waitress walks over “welcome to the Peoria Diner, my name is Jojo and I’m gonna take your orders tonight.”
Taking Tan to his door after lunch, Sven walks behind him as they take slow steps. They get to his door “thanks so much for-” Sven is immediately cut off by Tan’s lips, they start to kiss and for a moment Sven is ok with it, but for some reason stops. Getting the feeling Tan pulls away and sees the frown on his face “Tan I can’t do this I’m sorry.”
“But we had a good day and I told you I loved you”
“Yeah but when I asked you about that guy” Tan sighs at the fact that Sven keeps bringing him up, “you said you care, Tan, not cared or stopped caring. You said you care about him.”
“I thought we were done with that, you promised you wouldn’t ask anymore.”
“It’s not easy for me to let this go you get that, right?”
“Sven come on I spent the last 2 months trying to prove to you that I was through with that, you ignored me. You always do this to me, come around when it’s convenient for you.”
“You spoke to me!”
“Yeah and maybe it was a mistake, you’re never going to trust me… admit it” Sven stares at him afraid to utter a word. “Right ok, I hope you get on the team and I’m sorry I broke your trust, but I’m tired of the wondering I can’t do it anymore.” Tan turns unlocking his door
Not even a second after he walks in “SURPRISE!” His parents yell in his face
“What’s going on?” He asks confused
“Let’s go” his mom grabs his hand opening the front door. “Oh Sven” she sees him still standing there, “glad you’re here you can watch us surprise Tan.” His parents don’t know they just had a fight so they can’t tell how awkward this really is.
“Your mother told me you already ruined the surprise but we don’t care” they walk from the front door
“Shut your eyes,” his mom asks. He does and Sven watches everything standing behind them
Scott runs down the street to get the car and drive it back “how long do I have to do this?” Tan asks
“Shush” his mom quiets him down.
I mean it’s very obvious what he’s getting so there isn’t much to be surprised by, “um sure I need to be here for this Mrs. Milton, this seems like personal family time” Sven tries to leave and Tan hears him
“Nonsense you’re Tan’s friend so you’re automatically family I’m sure Tan wants you here, right honey?” They wait for him to answer
“Yeah sure” Tan isn’t sure he can even call Sven his friend.
“Holy Shit!” Erica reacts as Tan shows her and Ronnie his car that same night. “That’s a sexy car”
“I know! And check out the inside” They all climb in “I’m moving in this car.”
“Let’s go show Lin” Ronnie suggests
“Yes come on.”
Driving to Lin’s house the 4 friends sit on the roof outside her bedroom window, their favorite spot to hang out when they go to Lin’s. Sitting on the roof that overlooks the street they stare at Tan’s car “I can’t believe you got a car,” Lin comments as she and the rest gawk “I got a stupid computer.”
“Be grateful your last one was falling apart”
“You’re right…” she turns to him “and I can’t believe Sven was there when you got it”
“Ugh” Tan rolls his eyes
“Tell us what happened again”
“He basically said that because I said I still cared about Harris he still can’t trust me, even though I kissed him twice and he kissed me back both times!”
“He wants to be with you Tan he’s just scared,” Ronnie says
“Of what?! I literally haven’t spoken to Harris for months and he just ignored me”
“Yeah but you still hurt him” always leave to Erica to say it like it is “it’s kind of hard to convince someone of anything when you’ve broken their trust.”
“Whatever I can’t waste my summer on Sven, we have to make the most of these next few months because we’re all gonna be separated in the fall,” he says making them sad.
Laying on their backs they stare at the night sky, “do you guys think we’ll still be friends in a year?”
“Ronnie, what the fuck man?”
“What? I’m just wondering”
“Don’t ask dumb shit like that, of course, we’ll still be friends” Erica replies, “and if we start to ignore each other, I’m going to each of your schools and kidnapping you” They all laugh.
“We won’t ignore each other” Lin comments.
Their quiet night is interrupted when Tan’s phone rings, grabbing it from his pocket he quickly sits up when he reads the screen “it’s Sven!”
“Don’t answer it” Lin sits up too
Followed by Ronnie and Erica, “no answer it and tell him to go suck a dick for messing with you” we can all guess who said that.
“I’m answering” Tan picks up bringing the phone to his ear “yes?”
“Where are you?” He hears the boy’s voice on the other line
“What?” He turns to his friends
“What’s he saying?” Lin whispers and Tan shrugs confused
“I went over to your house and your mom told me you took the car out for a test drive with your friends.”
“Yeah I’m at Lin’s,”
“Send me her address I need to talk to you”
“Um no we said everything we had to say to each other already Sven, I can’t keep doing this.” He hangs up on him
“What was that?”
“He was asking for your address to come talk to me”
“Why didn’t you give it to him fool?!”
“Because I’m-” Tan’s cut off when Lin’s phone starts to ring
“It’s him” she shows them the screen
Taking her phone Tan answers “please stop”
“Tan please I need to see you” he begs
“Why Sven? You’re not going to say anything I want to hear”
“I love you” He lets out catching Tan off guard as he stares at his friends, “that’s what I wanted to say. I-” he quickly puts the phone on speaker “Love you” the girls hear it and gasp “please meet me somewhere so I can say it to your face” frozen Tan doesn’t answer
“Tan?” Erica shakes him
“Uh yeah send me your location and I’ll meet you there.” Tan hangs up handing Lin her phone back “I have to go” He stands excited
And the girls start to cheer for him “finally!! Go get your man”
Don’t fuck it up?”
“We love you!!!!”
Driving to Sven Tan stops when he sees his car, both boys get out turning to each other. “I’m sorry I keep doing this to you” Sven starts walking towards Tan “I don’t think it clicked till now that you were actually done with me earlier”
“I’m never going to be done with you Sven, but I made a mistake that hurt you and I never meant for that to happen.”
“It’d be stupid of me to lose you again, I love you too much to let that happen”
With a relieving smile, Tan stands in front of Sven “say that last part again”
Grabbing his face “I love you, Tanner Milton, I always have” they kiss each other in the dark street, their perfect place.
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