Array
(
[text] =>
so I know it’s been two weeks since I last updated, but I didn’t have internet connection all this time so I’m doing it now.
//
-ASH-
“I want you to know that we love you, darling.” a blonde woman says to her carrying baby.
“Are we still sure, this is the best thing to do?” the man next to her ask her, with fear in his voice.
“It’s the right thing. He deserves a better life. We both know that we can’t even give him a good one.” she says and wipes her fresh tears with her free hand.
The woman gives a soft kiss, on her baby’s forehead. Then, the man follows her moves and kisses the sleeping baby. He keeps them in his tight embrace for a few seconds, until they keep walking in the middle of the night.
They know exactly where they have to go. Finally, they find this big building with those large gates.
The man opens them and follows the woman as she enters inside the huge yard, until they reach the stairs.
They both start going up the stairs, but they freeze as soon as they reach the last one.
The woman squeezes the baby in her arms, as another tear falls on her warm cheek. Then, the man takes it from her to give it one last hug, before they put him on the floor. The man tries his best to control his feelings but, he can’t help it. Tears now are rolling down his face.
He takes the woman in his embrace and they both hug each other tightly while new tears are coming.
“We should go.” she says in a shaky voice.
They both start going down, leaving the baby all alone there.
Suddenly, this baby opens its small eyes. But, there’s no one there to hold it. Tears now begin to fall, as it starts crying and leaving loud screams full of fear.
Its tears become more and more, as soon as it hears a loud noise coming from the gates that its parents just closed.
Its parents that just left their baby.
* *
“Mum,” I whimper as I open my eyes widely. I take a heavy breath and lay myself down to my bed. Cold sweat is rolling down my forehead, as I’m trying to remember what just happened.
Was it just a dream? It felt so damn real; like I was there feeling the atmosphere.
And I’m pretty sure I saw those people’s faces, but dammit. I cannot remember them at all. All I see now is just a blur.
Were they maybe my p-parents? This dream felt so scarily real. And I’ve never had one like this before.
Not since that small cinema, which is a few blocks away from my street, played this Charlie Chaplin movie. The Kid. I mean, I’ve seen this before but I was too young to pay enough attention.
It’s about a young mother who leaves her baby to the streets, until Chaplin finds it. He raises that kid like his own, with love and care. Just like how he deserves. And when they try to take the little boy away from him, he fights for him. He fights to take him back. The kid doesn’t even care if Chaplin isn’t his biological father. He raised that kid and he was his only family.
And after that movie, I realized how much I want to know about the truth. Why did they leave me? Because they couldn’t afford for me or I was just a weight for them?
I check the time; it’s only ten at night. It’s not that late I guess. I run my hand through my messy hair as I can’t really sleep anymore. I must have been at bed for less than an hour.
Now you’ll ask, who’s sleeping at nine pm? Well, I’m a miserable human being that has nothing better to do.
I get up and change to some skinny jeans and a t-shirt, and then go out.
At first, I make small steps because I’m a bit confused, but then I realize that I know exactly where I want to go.
I still remember the street, like I’ve never left. And after a few minutes, here I am; while the moon is rising, I’m opening those gates for the first time in almost two months.
A small ache pains my stomach, as I’m taking the last stair and ringing the bell. A familiar old lady opens the door.
“Hello, Mrs Stephanie.” I say with a small smile.
“Ashton, what are you doing here?” she speaks with surprise but then, she bursts a smile and hugs me.
I always had fear for this woman, but I respect her to death. She was always so strict to the kids, but she loves each and everyone of them equally.
“I just wanted to come and say hi.”
“That is very kind of you, but most of the kids are already in their beds”
However, she lets me in, and I can already hear quick steps coming from a little girl.
“Ashton!” she shrieks full of enthusiasm.
“Grace!” I respond with a huge smile, while I lift her up with my arms. She rests her small face on my shoulders.
“I missed you. Everyone missed you.” she says making my heart beating faster.
“I missed you, too.”
And I did actually. I would always take care of Grace, as she’s about nine to ten; I always felt like an older protective brother to her. For the most kids in this orphanage.
“What happened to your face?” she says looking at my scar, even though it’s not very visible anymore.
“Some sort of an accident. But, don’t worry. I’m a lot better now.” I reply forcing me to smile.
“Be careful Ashton.” she pouts. “How’s out there?”
I take a small breath. “A bit hard, but I’m trying. I’m never giving up.”
“Okay young lady. Time for you to go to bed.” I hear Ms Daria say.
“Ashton, what are you doing here?” she asks.
I raise my shoulders, while Grace is still in my arms. She gives me a soft kiss on my cheek and I put her down.
“Goodnight Ashton. Come again, please.” she says before leaving.
“I will Grace.” I reply.
I sigh and look at Ms Daria. “I just wanted to see all of you again.” I say quietly.
Suddenly, I hear loud cries coming from a room. I can tell they’re coming from a boy.
“Who’s that?” I ask curiously.
“It’s Matty. He’s new here and the poor boy hasn’t adjusted yet.” Ms Daria says with a sad tone on her voice.
“How old is he?” I ask.
“Ten. And he came here all alone. But he refuses to tell us his story. He seems so broken.” she says.
“That sucks.” I say and sigh. I close my eyes and take a big breath.
“What’s bothering you Ash?”
“Well, I know I’ve never talked about this, but I was wondering if you could help me find anything about my … p-parents. Sorry if it’s too much to ask.”
“Of course it’s not. I’d love to help you. To be honest, I was waiting for you to finally want to search for your parents.” she says as she’s going to the main office and I follow her.
This room is so huge, full of books and drawers.
“I’m sure we must have something or a birth certificate of yours here.”
“Take your time.” I say and sit on a chair.
I look up to the ceiling and sigh silently.
“I’m really sorry.” I speak to Ms Daria as she’s still searching in all those drawers.
“For what?” she asks and stops for a second to look at me.
“I shouldn’t call you mum the other day. I just don’t know why I did it; I shouldn’t lie to Mike.” I say.
“Ash. You really shouldn’t lie to him, since you seem to be good friends. But, I understand you honey.” she says as she sees some envelopes, and then puts them back on their place.
“I actually feel like I can be completely myself when I’m around him; but then again, I’m not. I lied to him because I’m afraid. And now I regret it so bad”
“You know, I’m very happy that you finally made a friend. I hope he makes you happy. But, you have to tell him the truth. If he’s really a friend you want in your life, he deserves the truth. The real you; and I’m sure he’ll understand. And don’t you ever tell me again that you don’t want him to feel sorry for you.” she says in a serious tone as she looks at me and I nod.
“I have to tell him sometime.” I say, but the truth is that I really don’t know how I’ll do that.
::
“I found them Ash.” she says and takes my attention as she hands me some piece of paper.
“This is your birth certificate. You can keep it.” she says and I nod as my only response.
“When we found you, you had also this in your hands.” she says and gives me a folded paper.
I unfold it and start reading it.
“We wish we could be there for him. To give him what we can’t. Please, raise him with love, care or anything else we are unable for. His name is Ashton.”
Without even controlling it, a tear falls from my eye and I wipe it with my finger.
“At least you know they love you and they want the best for you.” Ms Daria says and caress my shoulder.
I rest my head on my hand for a while, until I check my certificate. There’s my birth date, the hospital I was born in, my parents’ names and also an address.
“Is this address still valid?” I ask.
“I don’t really know Ashton. But, there’s only one way to find out.” she replies with a small smile.
“I feel like I want to start now.” I say full of energy.
Ms Daria chuckles. “Keep that enthusiasm for tomorrow.”
“I will definitely find them. I promise to myself, I will never stop searching for them. No matter how long it will take. I will find them.” I say with confidence.
“And you will.” Ms Daria says.
After a few seconds, we both start going out of the room.
“Thank you. For everything.” I say and take her in a hug.
“Anytime.” she says and as we pull over, a crying take our attention.
“Is that Matty again?” I ask and she nods.
“Can I see him?” I ask.
“He sleeps in your bed.”
I go to that one room where I have spent my whole life. All of my memories are built in this place. When I enter the room, I notice some beds that are empty, which means that some kids have been adopted. Lucky them.
“Can I stay with him for a minute?” I say to Mrs Stephanie while she’s trying to comfort him.
“Okay Ashton. But he doesn’t really like strangers.” she says and leaves.
The boy stays silent for a few seconds and then looks at me as I sit on the corner of the bed.
“What’s your name?” I ask even though, I know the answer.
“Matthew. But, people call me Matty” he replies in a shaky voice.
“I’m Ashton,” I say but then he starts whimpering, “Please don’t cry. I know it’s hard for you to be here, but believe me; it’s good here. They take care of you.”
“And how do you know that?” he asks.
“Because I was raised up in here.” I reply.
“Hey can I tell you a secret? But promise you won’t tell.” he whispers.
“I promise.”
“One day, I came back from school and my dad wasn’t at home. I’ve waited two days for him but he never came back. Since my mum passed away, he stopped loving me.”
I take him in a tight hug and he hugs me back as tighter as he can, as he leaves some tears on my t-shirt but I don’t care. What kind of a parent would leave their kid at the age of ten? Or any age? It makes me sick to the stomach.
“I’m sorry Matt. I hope you’ll have the family you deserve.”
“Well, I’m not sure about that.”
“Hey, I just want you to know that you’re not alone, okay? I’m twenty years old and never have I been adopted. My parents left me here as a newborn and now I live on my own.” I say.
I just felt like I should have told him. I wish I’ll find such confidence to tell Michael, too.
Matty is ready to say something, but somebody opens the door.
“I don’t want to interrupt, but it’s getting late.” Mrs Stephanie says.
“Yes. I was about to leave.” I say and stand up.
“Will you come again?” Matty asks.
“Of course I will.” I promise to him.
//
so i have something to tell you. I start university in a month, but it’s in an another town from where i live which means i have to move, which also means i don’t know if i can update from where i’ll be. i’ll put this story on hold sooner or later, but since then i’ll update as long as i can.
one more thing. i’m not asking you to leave comments or vote and blah blah blah, but i’m really curious, what you’re thinking of this story. do you really like it, or i’m just wasting my time.
anyway thank you to anyone who vote or even put this shit on their reading lists. seriously you can’t imagine how much i appreciate it
[text_hash] => 7d0023f2
)