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Isaac’s p.o.v
Ever since Cameron told me he heard voices he became distant with me. Barely said words to me look me in the eyes or show any affection.
Conner told me he’s been like this with everyone around the hospital. He just like woke up one day and just completely became his old self. Carrie hasn’t been around a lot either mainly because Cameron was pushed all the way down to level one with Conner.
Conner got over what feelings he had for Cameron. Well tried to. But there’s this new guy named Ryan that just came to the hospital and Conner has a interest in him big time. Only bad thing about it is Conner won’t be a big boy and go talk to him.
Today was December 30th. School was on winter break. I wanted to spend time with Cameron for the break even have places I wanted to take him out for like dates. But Cameron just is acting weird to everyone. No one understands why he’s being this way. Noah has tried to talk to him so many times But Cam just lays there staring up at the ceiling. Never moves like at all.
He seems emotionless. He sometimes looks people in the eyes but he’ll never look at me in the eyes or even at me at all. It hurts that he’s doing that. Makes me feel like heartbroken in so many ways.
I haven’t really much left my room in weeks haven’t even went to school for like this whole month and if I did I left after awhile my mother never cared that I left school nor did my dad. No one was ever home anymore either. Still haven’t heard from Plam in what felt like ages. She never answers me if I call or text. She doesn’t even talk to the other siblings anymore either.
It upsets me a lot to know the one person I cared about the most other then Cameron was ignoring me at all costs. Those two were very complicated people that I wish I could understand better. That doesn’t seem like it will ever happen though. Cameron You can figure out a little about him and think you know everything but then something happens and bam he’s a mistory again. Plam isn’t like that yet in ways she is. She’s easy to figure out if you actually listen and I mean actually listen to. But if something happens that she think she can’t handle she makes herself something that she’s not and hides away from the problem altogether.
Maybe that’s why she don’t talk to me. Because I’m something she can’t handle so she toke the quickest way out of dealing with me like Blake Xander and My mother had to deal with for months.
Huh kinda makes sense now well sorta. I was a problem she couldn’t deal with I probuly would of made her think of the past her and make her go back into the past think about him everything. Yeah. I guess that’s the reason.
I felt wind in front of my face pulling me out of my thoughts looking at something I couldn’t see since it was dark in my room.
“Huh?”
The figure hugged me. It was human yes. Small figure smelled of axe and something like nature. I wrapped my arms around the human hugging. Soon I heard sobs and muffled noise like someone was trying to talk. Didn’t know what to do right now besides hug the humanly person.
“Isaac” the voice finally said.
Right then and there I knew who It was. Just by the voice.
“Cameron.” his sobs claimed down a little.
“I’m sorry” I rubbed circles on his back while he clined to my shirt.
“Why are you sorry Cameron?”
He stopped crying and sat up to where he was sitting in front of me wipping his tears away. Well that’s what it looked like I couldn’t really see since it was dark in my room.
“For how I’ve been acting.”
“Why were you like acting that way?”
“Don’t yell at me please. I don’t think I can handle more yelling today.”
Who was yelling at him today? Do I have to kill someone. Isaac clam down listen to Him speak.
“I promise.”
We pinky sweared. Were childish we know.
“When I got put into level one they stopped making sure I toke my pills.” He paused. “One time I forgot to take them an I was fine. Well I thought I was. But the next day I thought to myself if I’m fine not taking then why take them?”
“You stopped taking your pills?” Worry was all I could make out if this.
“Yes I did for like two weeks..”
I gasp. Him being off his pills wasn’t okay he could go all weird again.
“But the way you were acting.” I trailed off.
“I was getting there. So I went days without them no one seemed to care. Conner was in lala land half the time to notice. Staff did come in an asked if I toke them I said yes Conner just nodded most of the time. Well after like four days without it I became well into my thoughts to much. Never motivated to do anything everything I thought about my mind would make it into something totally different then what it actually was. I don’t talk because well my voice gives off that I was indeed born in the wrong body.”
I just nodded. I couldn’t tell if he seen me or not in the darkness.
“I never looked at anyone really because Everytime I looked into someone’s eyes all I could see was pity. Witch made me upset scared. So I thought that’s what I would’ve seen in your eyes so I didnt meet your eyes.”
“How long?”
“I was off them for two almost three weeks. Conner started to actually watch me the last week I wasn’t taking them I didn’t notice. But today when well the staff basically shoved me out of there and told me bye bye your out. Conner came up to me asked me why I wasn’t taking them for those weeks. We got into a huge fight about the whole thing. He got draged back into his room when I got yelled at to leave to place.”
Cameron stopped taking them. So how is he so clam now? Wait did he say he got out. WAIT WHAT?!
“You got out?”
“Yes. Apparently I was Just taking up space an didn’t need help anymore so yup now I’m out.”
“You seem fine though?”
“Yes probuly want to know that. So after not taking then for those weeks I knew something wasn’t right with me. On the seventeenth of this month I started taking them again. Still felt weird for awhile. But a week after taking them again everything seemed to be real again.”
“Who else knows?”
“About what part?”
“That your out?”
“Just you an Conner.”
“So I get you till tomorrow basically.”
“Yup. You get me to yourself.”
“In that case please turn I’m the light It’s way to dark in here for my liking Prince.”
The bed became more lonely when he left to turn the light on regreting telling him to turn on the light for a momnet till I looked at him. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt and shorts that ended at his knees. He was incredible handsome. After looking at his outfit I examined his arms.
They had bruises up and down them. Looking new to. Cuts around his arms to. What did he before he came here?
“What are those bruises from Cameron?”
He sighed knowing I was ganna ask that sonner or later.
“I went home first before here. Noah once today me my mother was in jail. So I thought she wouldn’t be there. I guess I was wrong” He said the last part more quitely to himself.
“Cameron..” He looked up at me.
His eyes were glossy you could tell he was crying new tears were forming. He looked as broken as the way he did when he brought me to his house the one time.
“That wasn’t even the bad part about it either.” he laughed a little.
“My father was home as well.”
I couldn’t comprehend or processes what he just said to me. His father. I don’t think Cameron actually talked much about his father.
“Don’t worry about me Isaac I’m fine now. I’m with you. It’s all good” his tears said different.
“What am I saying Isaac. Nothings alright an it hasn’t been for awhile nothing makes sense everything seems unreal. The only time I ever actually feel happy or life seems real is when i’m with you.”
I got up off the bed walking over to him.
“Not everything is going to be alright. Your life is complicated but isn’t everyone’s? Your strong Cameron I know you’ll be able to get through this and one day everything will be okay. It’ll get better I promise.” I said hugging him.
We stood there hugging. I rubbed patterns on his back as he tried to clam himself down again. He truly felt lost. And I’m here to show him the way.
“You know your birthday is coming up”
“Yeah I’m like in a month. Not like it really matters I’m just going to be turning seventeen”
“Wow I never thought I would actually say that.”
“Say what?” I questioned
“Say that I’ll actually make it to my seventeenth birthday.”
“You are and that’s the greatest thing about it. But I have a present for you though.”
“Why are you telling me about this now?”
Why was I going to tell him? Well maybe because this kid need something else to be happy about in life right now. Needs some happiness besides me.
“Because you need something else to make you happy right now. And I want to give it to you now. But it’s a two parter. You’ll only get one right now. The second one will come once your actually ready and we have things settle.” he looked sorta happy now. Witch was good. Some happiness is better then none.
“Good ahead tell me.” He command.
“Well I have all this money and nothing to do with it so I like got some blood samples and such so the could test it and what not. I don’t actually know the whole thing. But they showed me how to do it so I could show you. Close your eyes Cameron.” He looked confused but did as I asked.
I pulled out tha I package in my dresser. This was something Cameron has wanted for awhile both parts. It will make him happier then anything and I knew it would. I opened the package pulling out the bottle and needle.
“I’m going to move your shorts up a little it that okay?”
“Uh sure?”
Moved the shorts up a little showing more cut marks. Scars deep ones to. Memories that reminded me how strong this kid was. Opening the bottled and putting the needle in it to suck it up into the needle.
“Cameron open your eyes now.”
Cameron’s p.o.v.
Today was a complete mess with everyone. Got in fight before I left the hospital with Conner then got kicked off the area. Next I went home thinking no parents would be there but not to my luck wasn’t on my side today.
Both spons were home. My mother was mad to see me my father looked at me with pity. They both came at me with the hitting and screaming yelling nothing not normal to me. I grabbed what I could and booked it out of that house. I didn’t want anyone to know I was let out yet. They would all ask why I was acting the way I was the past few weeks. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone about my problems really well besides Isaac. I trust him with everything in me it hurts. He was my escape from reality. With him it felt like I was in a dream like everything was actually going to be alright when I was near him.
Somehow he made me fall for him in so many ways it’s hard to understand still. I know I’ve hurt him in many ways But he still hasn’t left me yet making me just want to be with him all the time. After the whole family meeting I went to Isaacs. Still had a key from last time I was here so I unlocked the door to find no one was there. Well besides Isaac who was in his room. Couldn’t help myself but go up an hug him. He helped me through to panic attacks sobing an talkings. Now were here.
I’m sitting on his bed with my eyes closed while he’s giving me a present. Normally I would decline presents from people but Isaac was a little different an stubborn. I knew not to fight with him bed probuly win anyways so why not just save all the trouble.
“Cameron open your eyes now.”
Finally opened my eyes to see what he had. A needle an a bottle. I looked at the bottle closely. It….it…oh…My…God…it….No. It can’t be….what… He… OH FLYING MOTHER OF FUCKS ITS TESTOSTERONE. Tears started pouring down my face at that moment it was Just so much. I couldn’t probuly repay him for doing this for me. Couldn’t thank him enough for this. Just nothing will ever be enough to repay this.
“Are you okay Cameron?”
“I love you Isaac. Show me please” I basically begged.
He showed me how to do everything. Soon he actually injected it into me. Making me feel a bit more okay with myself. Soon my appearance will show who I actually am finally.
“Now the second part.”
“Oh Isaac this is already enough for me. What else could you possibly get me?”
“Well I have loads of money as you know. More then fithy thousands that’s for sure to. But the second part has two sets of things to.”
What could he mean by this. GOD IM SO SLAP HAPPY THAT IF HE GOT ME A PEACE OF GRASS I WOULD LOVE IT FOREVER.
“First part. Top surgery.”
That made me stop what I was thinking right then an there.
“Wait what?”
“Yes I’m getting you to where you want. I have money and nothing to do with it. It’s not going to make me happy so why not make the person I love happy and more confident with himself?”
He was really being serious about this. I mean yes I would LOVVVVEEEE to take his offer. But I’d feel way to guilty.
“Isaac i-“
He kissed me before I could finish.
“Okay first of all you have no say in this it’s happening weither you feel guilty or not. You wanted this for so long and I’m giving it to you. Both parts. Just One at a time.”
“Huh?”
“Both areas. Bottom and top will be like done to your liking just not at the same time.”
He ment the whole thing my whole body everything. This was all just to much. I Coudlnt help but cry again. He hugged me this time while I just kept saying thank you an I love you over again.
Now we were cuddled up with each other talking about when I could get my top surgery done. Apparently I could get it done whenever since he had his like own doctor becasue of his parents.
We marked January 3 the day I’ll become more of what I am. I was so greatful of Isaac I didn’t see that till now though. He’s been here with my complicated self since he met me. Still hasn’t left no matter how much I tended to push him away or get rid of him.
He stayed and I couldn’t be even more happy for my future with him. He was what I wanted in my future everything about him everything invloed with him everything that has ever been around him. I just needed him for now and always.
His forever is all I need.
-Next day-
“ISAAC IM HUNGRY TIRED AND SAD!” Elliots voice woke me up.
I groaned making Isaac laugh.
“Not a morning person huh?”
I pushed myself up making pain go throughout my body.
“Shit”
“What is it my Prince?”
“I hurt. Like everywhere.”
“I’m get some pain killers.” he got up kissing my forehead walking out of the room.
Didn’t know when he came back or if he really did becasue I feel asleep after he left the room. Tiredness was all I felt right now well an pain.
“So how’s life?” Isaac asked.
“Just you know boring difficult to.” Elloit respond sadly.
“How could Elloits life be all difficult” I said out of no where making Elliot jump falling off the bed.
“Am I really that scary? Sorry.” Isaac was laughing at both of us.
“Asshole”
“Yeah I guess go.”
“So why didn’t you tell me you were let out?”
“I have my reasons. No if you don’t mind me I have to go to the bathroom.” I said grabbing my bag with me.
I haven’t token a shower since little a week ago. The hospital is a very scary place you never know what’s going to happen next. Specially in the showers. Also I have to use my own private one becasue of my body an the others made fun me saying I was the hospital pet.
Tever. The shower was cool and refreshing. Felt good to take one yet it was a little upsetting since I has to look at the body I have without cloths on. Ugh fuck this.
Quickly got into my cloths making sure it didn’t look like I had boobs. One day I thought to myself. Soon you’ll be half way there Cameron. You did it.
“Cameronnnnn I need helpppp” Elliot wined as I walked into Isaac’s room.
“With what?”
“How to dress for a date.”
“With?”
“A person I met a few weeks ago. This is out first date since then. He was out of town for awhile and just got back yesterday.”
“Uh. Okay sure I’ll help.”
“Good because I know I can’t ask Issac he doesn’t know how to help with this. You do though you had great teast in cloths before.”
Before that word hit me hard. He was meaning to when I still identify as a girl.
Girl.
My days were more less complicated then an my family didn’t hate me people adored me. Everyone happy then an I had friends. Girl… Sigh.
“You okay my Prince?”
“Yeah I’m perfect. Lets go find something for you Alex”
I walked out of the room before he could yell at me for calling him that. Truthfully I only called him that is because he made me think back to before. The mask I hid behind confused scared. I wasn’t happy with myself Everytime I looked in the mirror the only thing I seen was something different. When I got my hair cut short every year I felt better with myself. Make up an like ‘girl cloths’ I only wore trying to convince myself that I wasn’t a boy. I tried everything to make it go away the thought everything.
It never worked. That’s when I told Blake. He understood an told me to be the person I feel like be who I want to look like be like what to be called everything. I have a voice that needed to be heard. Blake was with me the whole way besides when the Elliot thing happened. It funny how I became friends with someone I used to be tarrifed an angry with.
But here he is now a totally different person. Its actually awesome how just some pills an talking to someone can fix something.
“Okay let’s look”
Elliot an me didn’t really talk much during the time we had to find something for him wear. Well he tired to talk to me but I wouldn’t talk. He still scares me a lot an he kinda made me mad.
Sigh.
Once we found something he got dressed an left. Isaac was writing something sitting at his desk in his room. His house was huge from anything I’ve been in. He was alone most of the time to in this house must get lonely here. I know I would get really lonely around here by myself.
“Whats got you in a mood today my Prince?”
Isaac asked out of no where scaring me a little. Didn’t even think he knew I was standing there to be honest.
“Sorry didn’t mean to scare you. Come here” he patted his legs.
I don’t think I want to sit on him. I’m to heavy aren’t I? Yeah I’ll probuly hurt him if I sit on his legs. Walked over to the bed in front of him But with my luck he pulled me over to where I was sitting on his lap.
“I patted my lap for a reason. Stop thinking your fat you aren’t. Your lighter then anyone I know. I could pick you up without trying.”
I looked down. He was lying to me. Isn’t he?
‘your day Cameron’
‘your ganna break him you fatass’
“Can I sit on the bed please” he sighed but let go of me.
So I toke the chance to move back into the bed the comfortable bed. Well Crap I’m becoming tired now.
“If your tired Cam go to sleep. I’ll be on the bed in a minute.”
I scooted up to where I was actually laying my head on a pillow.
Sleep wasn’t hard to go to today. Fell instantly asleep as I felt warmth by me an a kiss on my forehead before I fell into a dream.
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