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Cameron’s p.o.v.
When everyone left the place felt weird. Consulting was weird today. Mark(my consular) an me play video games during this session. Then brought up something that shocked me.
I never once told anyone I was transgender here besides Conner an Carrie. They both promised not to tell anyone even the other staff. I could get in trouble because I have lady parts an I’m sharing a room with Conner.
Conner has been very flirtatious the past few days. Mostly in front of everyone when that come to visit. I trust Conner a lot but he’s scaring me a little with the flirting. Like Conner flirts with a lot of people randomly but he like flirts with me all the time.
It only scares me because of he does like me I’ll feel bad. I don’t like him in that way I don’t really grow to like people in that way half the time.
I’ve only liked 3 people out of my whole life.
Elliot, Isaac
The third one will reman a mistory. I don’t like to talk much about liking that person. That relationship was crushed. Life was hell.
When I think back to my life an what I’ve done an everything. It toke me like around a month to realize but it figured it out. The days I spent here doing nothing I read about mental illness an eating disorders an such.
I for a fact have Depression. Everything lines up with how I act, think, etc. Bipolar it seems to me I do have it. But I’m not crazy so I can’t have it. Then again in many ways I am crazy.
My emotions are easier to control now an I don’t randomly have emotions coming out of no where. More relaxed and I can think straight.
The one think that caught my mind that I have. Well I sat I have since it’s true. I haven’t told anyone I hear voices besides Noah but he promised not to tell anyone that.
Read a lot about hearing voices. Schizophrenia is what is called. I’m crazy for having all these illnesses. I’ll never be able to not take pills or to live an actual life.
These diagnosis are just going to ruin my life more everyday. I mean that’s what they have been doing anyways I’ve just now believed it.
Mark explained to me that mental illness is a common thing throughout humans an such. He was trying to get me to think I wasn’t crazy for what I had.
I know I’m crazy I hear voices.
That’s why I won’t tell anyone about them I’m afraid everyone is going to think I’m crazy an need to stay in a hospital by myself forever.
I’m scared Isaac won’t want to be around me anymore.
Isaac became a huge part of my life. He changed me in many ways, an helps me through hard times an stays. I’m glad I met him that one day.
Bad part about this whole thing is he told me about him being in love with me.
I thought about love a little. Most of the time I couldn’t think about love without wanting to cry because of how I was in love with Elliot. I say was because I’m not in love with him as much as I used to be or even much anymore.
Isaac I have really strong feelings for. I always want to be around him hug him. His sent is something I could love with forever. He makes me happy his smile is adorable. An I get this really weird fuzzy feeling around him.
Could I?
“Ello earth to Cameron?” Conner said pulling me out of my thoughts.
“Oh uh. I’m what?”
“You zoned out there Blue.”
“Cool.”
The room went silent after that. The hospital didn’t have much people on level 3. Conner was actually a level 1 but Carrie somehow got the staff to let him be my roommate. People here were mostly level 4s or in my time here I found out their was a level 5.
Level 5 is the one place I’m scared I’m going to be put in. Specially after how my emotions were when I first came here. That level is where your put in a room by yourself an your not aloud to leave it they bring food to you pills everything. When you have to use the bathroom they put you in a full captive body armer an walk with you to the bathrooms.
Those people are a threat to themself to others. I feel bad for most people in there. But they have to be held somehow.
Carrie told me if my pills didn’t work in time an I kept acting out like I did I would he been put into level 5 right then an there.
Level 6 is where they deport you to a much worse hospital. Conner has actually been at level six before. He’s been in every single level in this building.
But that’s when he first got here. Acted out because he hated being here. He scares me sometimes. He’s much wiser now then he was when he first came though.
Then randomly while I was in my own thoughts I felt warm lips pressed against mine.
Conner kissed me.
Conner is still kissing me
Cameron!
I pushed Conner away.
“What the hell CONNER?!?”
He looked at me like he was shocked.
“I thought. Oh.”
Pushed myself off the ground an ran out of the room. I didn’t care what Conner did he just made me hella confused.
I didn’t hate the kiss.
But I didn’t like it either.
They comfort was the only thing I liked out of what just happened. Conner is what I didn’t like out of the equation.
Stopped running when I retched the bathrooms of the first floor.
This was all to much for me. I feel like I’m going crazy more everyday I’m here.
‘Worthless’
‘fat’
‘die’
‘ugly’
‘kill yourself already’
The voices were starting why do they have to start right now of all times. When I’m most confused hurt they start.
Tears began to roll down my face. I couldn’t stop them it was to hard. Life is to hard. Sat down by the wall hugging my knees.
“Cameron?” It sounded like Isaacs voice.
Looked up to see Isaac. A rush of happiness went through me. But Isaac didn’t seem to happy right now. He sat down next to me an I layed my head on his shoulder.
“You don’t seem to happy” he laughed.
“Nither do you.”
“Are you okay Issac?”
That was probuly the first time I asked someone that. Truthfully I didn’t care if someone was sad hurt or mad I wouldn’t ask them if they were okay. Didn’t care to know. But seeing Isaac upset made me want to know so badly. Wanted to just make him happy.
“You kissed Conner”
He seen what happened. The mistake that just happened because of Conners stupidity. Isaac seen that an he was hurt by it.
Oh God I hurt Isaac again.
Fuck..
“Isaac” he turned his head to face me.
“It was a one sided kissed. He kissed me when I wasn’t paying attention but I didn’t kiss back. I mean I didn’t pull back right at first but it was only becasue I was in shock.” He looked at the wall.
I don’t think he believes me. Does he really think I have a thing for Conner? Of all people Conner. Just gross no.
Isaac doesn’t believe me…
I’m going to lose him.
Do something Cameron.
Then I did something I thought I would never have done.
“I love you Isaac” he looked straight at me once I said that.
“I uh. You. Uh. What?”
Just come out clean. Cam you can do it. He’s not like Elliot. He’s better. He’s Isaac.
“I don’t like Conner in any way you may think I do. Never have I’ve only liked three people in my lifetime. Crushes don’t come often for me. Conner is only a friend an that’s all he’ll ever be to me. But Isaac you sir are a amazing person. You make me happy in ways I can’t explain. Everything about you drives me crazy. Your laugh smile sent eyes face absolutely everything about you. Before you I thought I knew what love was an how it came to be. But thruthfully it wasn’t love it was just a like that I brought myself to think of as love. Till now I didn’t know I could ever love someone. I’ve always been on the crazy side so most of the time I thought I was incapable of a lot of things.” We were staring at each other.
“But now I know that nothing seems to be impossible in this world. Everything can change it Just takes time. Toke me 16 year to realize that. Sometimes I’m really stupid. Tever that thought. But Isaac You showed me how it is to crave for someone’s attention to hate not being near them. To love someone. I Cameron Blue Vince am in love with you Isaac Anthony Red.” I finished.
Isaac was blushing an looked like he was mixed all up I’m different thoughts.
“I love you too Cameron” He kissed me.
The momnet was perfect. So perfect it felt unreal in so many ways. Never thought my life could be like this.
Everything was just perfect.
Besides one thing.
Me.
Isaac’s p.o.v
I walked through the whole building trying to get the image of Conner and Cameron Kissing.
How could I be so stupid. Cameron doesn’t like me he likes Conner. Who wouldnt like Conner though hes hot. Cocky but very hot.
Cameron is here all the time with him who knows what they’ve done behind closed doors. I don’t want to think that.
Jealously was something crawling around me a lot today. Cameron an me aren’t even actually together I shouldn’t be getting mad about this it’s stupid. He is his own person.
He isn’t mine.
I heard crying coming from down the hall of the first floor. Walked up to see who it was.
Black hair with Brown tips. I instantly knew it was Cameron sitting there. Why is he crying he just shared a moment with Conner?
“Cameron?” He looked up at me.
He crying. I hate when he cries more then anything. It hurts to see him upset. I sat down next to him while he layed his head on my shoulder.
“You don’t seem to happy” I laughed.
Has telling me I don’t seem to happy when he was just over here hugging his knees crying. Why is he even upset?
“Nither do you”
“Are you okay?” Cam asked.
That caught me a little off guard. Cameron never asks anyone if their okay. Its like he doesn’t even care if someone is okay or if their not. This is the first time over ever heard him ask that and he asked me. But he still kissed Conner…
“You kissed Conner”
Cameron seemed a little taken back at what I said. He looked like he was in deep thought to. What could he possibly have to say about it to me.
“Isaac” I faced him.
“It was a one sided kissed. He kissed me when I wasn’t paying attention but I didn’t kiss back. I mean I didn’t pull back right at first but it was only becasue I was in shock.”
He looked like he was into the kiss when I seen it. I don’t know whether to believe him or not. Ugh.
Cameron is complicated still. He’s still a mistory to me sometimes. Hes much better now though I guess.
“I love you Isaac” Cam said.
I turned to look him straight in the eyes to see if he was lying or something. His eyes were normal. I couldn’t tell if what he said was true or if it wasn’t. But he said it.
“I uh. You. Uh. What?”
“I don’t like Conner in any way you may think I do. Never have I’ve only liked three people in my lifetime. Crushes don’t come often for me. Conner is only a friend an that’s all he’ll ever be to me. But Isaac you sir are a amazing person. You make me happy in ways I can’t explain. Everything about you drives me crazy. Your laugh smile sent eyes face absolutely everything about you. Before you I thought I knew what love was an how it came to be. But thruthfully it wasn’t love it was just a like that I brought myself to think of as love. Till now I didn’t know I could ever love someone. I’ve always been on the crazy side so most of the time I thought I was incapable of a lot of things.”
Toke in everything he just said trying to prosses everything thats happening as he continued.
“But now I know that nothing seems to be impossible in this world. Everything can change it Just takes time. Toke me 16 year to realize that. Sometimes I’m really stupid. Tever that thought. But Isaac You showed me how it is to crave for someone’s attention to hate not being near them. To love someone. I Cameron Blue Vince am in love with you Isaac Anthony Red.”
My cheeks started to heat up. I was indeed blushing. Never once had someone say anything like that to me or confess their love for me. Always thought it happened only in fairy tales. But Cameron the broken boy somehow out of his complicated life fell in love with me.
“I love you too Cameron” then I kissed him.
This isn’t how I thought today was ganna and like. Truthfully thought I was ganna and up going home crying on the couch while Xander fed me ice cream.
But nope I’m here with the love of my life kissing him while in the hallway of a hospital.
Funny how life is sometimes. This felt wonderful loveful to if that makes sense. What are we even now? We never much had a label throughout this whole prosses.
As we pulled apart I licked Cams nose making him give a look of disgust at first then pinned me to the ground. Licked from my forehead down to my chin.
We are such to weirdos.
Weirdos in love though.
“What are we?” I questioned.
He looked at me with something in his eyes that I couldn’t read.
“We can be tever you want us to be Isaac”
He made it up to me. I could say something that could change our lives for the best or worst. But I have my chance now I’m not letting it go.
Not now not ever.
“I want to be with you. Like with a label.”
He smiled.
“Boyfriends” he got off me an held out his hand.
“We shake on it. Like a promise.”
“Promise?”
“To be truthfull Isaac I’m terrified to know what happens once we actually start dating. My last relationship didn’t turn out to hot. I want us to promise to love each other endlessly even on our bad days. Never to hit one another besides playfully even then not to hard. Never to keep secrets hide anything from each other. Trust one another. An if one of us doesn’t love the other as much anymore to tell the other one. So they don’t have to to through life wondering if they’re good enough or not for the other one.”
Cameron really does like me. When he’s scared he usually trys to get away from what scares him before it comes upon him. He doesn’t face many of his fears.
But from the time I’ve known this kid his biggest fear is love.
And he’s facing his fear of love for me. I never want to hurt Cameron in anyway. He’s just was to precious for that.
“I do” I said as we shoke hands.
“Sounds like you just said I do as in mairage I do” He giggled.
Let me tell you about that giggle to. It was the most adorable sound I have ever heard in my lifetime.
“That was adorable”
A red color creeped up upon his cheeks. This was a rare momnet Cameron Vince never blushes.
“I’m not adorable.”
I pulled him closer to me. Kissing his forehead couple of times. To his nose cheeks then I had are lips almost together. Cameron seemed to be getting annoyed with me just keeping my face right there. He moved forward to connect our lips but I moved back.
He pouted.
“Say your adorable”
He sighed and rolled his eyes.
“I’m adorable”
Then I kissed him for a second. I knew he didn’t mean what he said. So he got a second for trying to lie.
He mumbled bastered to himself.
“Hm?”
“Nothing”
He was just to adorable I couldn’t help myself I kissed him but this time longer then the last one. I loved this. Hes mine all mine every bit of him is mine.
Crap I sorta start to become excited in ways.
Cameron noticed to because he started laughing in the kiss. He pulled away making me pout.
“Your getting to excited there Isaac”
I was laying down on the ground while Cameron was straddling me. He moved his hand from my chest down to my waste slowly making me become more excited an shiver a little.
His could someone have such an effect on me just by moving his hand around me body. Man just if he could put- ISAAC SHUT UP.
Cameron kissed my lips once again and sat up. I just layed there not knowing what to do.
“You seemed confused. Have you ever had to take care of something like that before?” he pointed to my semi-hard on.
I shoke my head no.
Witch was the truth nothing has ever turned me on before and I’ve never had a boner before. Never once done anything with it either always thought it was weird. I didn’t even have dirty thoughts about things either.
Well that was until I met Cameron.
He laughed at me.
“What? You’ve never masturbated? Or anything?”
“Well there is such thing as innocent people Cameron. But before I met you I was asexual” He looked a little shocked at what I said.
“I turned you from being Asexual?”
“Yeaaah”
“Well go home an take a cold shower gets did of that problem”
“Fun. What you ganna do about Conner?”
“One im going to slap him for what he did. Two explain I’m in love with you an Three I don’t like him in that way at all.”
I love hearing him say he’s in love with me. This Damn thing in my pants is getting annoying though to. Very uncomfortable.
“Need help with that?”
“What?”
“Need N-e-e-d help h-e-l-p with w-i-t-h that t-h-a-t” he point to my jeans.
Wait is he really asking me that? What?
“It’s a yes or no Isaac I don’t have all day nother do you”
I didn’t know what to say of anything.
“Fine I’ll answer for you.”
Next thing you know I was pulled into the bathroom and he locked the door behind us pushing me in one of the stalls.
Lets just say that was probuly one of the most best feelings I have ever felt.
I wanted to do a return thing for Cameron But he walked away before anything could happen.
Sometimes I have to remember he was born in the wrong body and had part that he hates and I parts I don’t really go for.
Cameron was washing his face now.
“I need to dye my hair again.”
“Why don’t you ever keep your hair your natural color?”
He turned around to look at me.
“I look to much like my parents if I had my actual hair color”
He looks like his siblings if he had Brown hair he would look exactly like them.
“Your siblings”
“They look a lot like them. They even act like my parents to. I don’t want to be like that. I don’t act like my parents an im sure as hell don’t want to look like them.”
Cameron didn’t seem to like his parents at all I could understand specially from what he had to live through.
“Well this was fun but visiting hours I think have been over for about 30 or minutes” he smirked.
Don’t know if I should be scared or not about that smirk though.
“Follow me Pet” he grab my hand intertwining them together.
We held hands all the way to the third level. He let go of my hand once we reatched someone’s office.
“Hey Carrie got a question” Cam said to the girl in the room.
She turned around to us.
“You know visiting hours are over right Cameron?”
He nodded his head.
“Then why is he here?”
“We were in the bathroom once the time when off”
She sighed.
“One night Cameron that’s it”
“Thanks”
Then he grabbed my hand again and we headed to his room.
Conner was sitting on his bed when we come to the room.
“What’s he doing here blue?”
“He’s spending the night Conner.”
Cameron pushed me into the bed then layed next to me. We were basically cuddling.
“Oh. I’m sorry Cameron.”
“Pretend it never happened thats what I’m doing. But goodnight.”
Cameron kissed me softly.
“I love you goodnight Isaac” I kissed his forehead
“I love you Cameron. Goodnight”
He seemed to fall asleep right then and there. It toke me a minute to fall sleep. These beds weren’t the most comfortable place to sleep ever. But I had Cameron in my arms I’ll suck it up to be near him.
I’m just simply in love with Cameron.
The best part about it is he loves me back.
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