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Secracy. All of their lives has been lived on Secrecy. Who are they actually? Live as masked gang members fighting for power? Or live as their own selves, their own identities without being recognized by anyone? Whichever they chose, they always end up in secrecy. Secrecy from the rest of the gang members, secrecy from the world.
Jaehyo was born into the life of secrecy. No one knew him as the leader of Black Dragons as well as him, Jaehyo who is in love with Zico, an identity hidden from the world, and who is in love with the idea of being free.
Jaehyo was known because of his mask. Everyone knew each other based on their masks. In reality, no one knew each other. It was if they were living in a world of strangers. He can walk across his rival and he wouldn’t know it because they don’t have their masks on.
This was good as well as bad. How many years has he lived in disguise? Is this a life? Of course it’s not. The thought of living with Zico away from all of this, their bodies pressed against a couch while they watch tv without fear creeping up on them every single time they are together is always on his mind.
But they can never have this. They would never have freedom. They will never have each other in peace. But they can try. They can try to have normal lives in disguise. Perhaps that’s his normal speech motivation every time he think his life is to hard.
The only thing he has to keep him balance is Zico wrapped around his arms at the end of the day.
The balcony was his get away escape from his problems and his reassurance before he became face to face with the world. He lived in the seventeenth floor of his apartment building. He loved watching from his balcony the tiny people running from the street into the tiny stores and getting inside of their cars.
Jaehyo felt like a giant. Sometimes he would rather stay, leaning his body on top of the balcony, and watch the tiny people live their lives than living his own life and fighting for a meaningless fight that only conquered someone else’s money. They wouldn’t even fight for people’s rights or saving them, instead they would fight over pride and arrogance.
After all, that was what all gangs were all about: money and power. Pride and arrogance followed after money and power.
He didn’t want love without anyone knowing. He wanted love that you can see every time someone looked at him looking at Zico. He wanted to be called a sucker for his boyfriend. He wanted to hold hands with him and introduce him to his family.
So many wants and needs and no chances to do them all. There will never be a chance to get his needs and wants. Unless, he gets out of the gang. Unless. Unless he wants to be killed or have Zico killed. Unless he becomes an eternity without his lover, a tragedy of a love that didn’t blossom.
He sighs, the secrecy waiting down on me. He closes his eyes, the tiredness pressed on his eyelids. Suddenly, arms wrap around him, engulfing his body into relaxation.
“What are you doing here? It’s chilly,”Zico asks him, his body warm, bringing his cold body into a lower temperature.
“Just thinking. I don’t want to go to work.” The afternoon was getting colder, and the sky darker. Snow looked like it was going to appear soon. The time was coming.
“Do you want to stay here a little bit longer. You can lay on top of me while you rest your eyes?” That sounds so nice. And as much as he wants to, Jaehyo knows that he can’t do that. His members are waiting for him to hear the plan.
“I can’t. I have to go. If I won’t leave now I’ll get in trouble.” Jaehyo removes Zico’s arms from his body and turns around to give him a sweet kiss.
He says goodbye with his heart beating faster and his sadness to follow him after. He was just about to fight his boyfriend.
After Jaehyo had left, Zico, still out in the balcony, furious winds blowing his hair into his eyes, takes out a small black velvet box and opens it, looking at the ring inside.
After his fight, he is going to take Jaehyo to a date far away from the public eye and propose to him. Their relationship has been a secret for about a year. Even if he can’t claim him and every time he is with him, he feels like he is cheating because he can’t tell him about his identity, he still knows that Jaehyo is his. Their marriage will certainly be a pact between them that even if their lives get harder, they won’t leave each other because their love is stronger than anything else they have gone through.
Lately, Jaehyo has been sad, sometimes removing himself from their conversations and occasionally lying on top of him without saying anything. He tells him that he doesn’t want to say anything but just stay with him and letting him stroke his hair.
Zico wishes he can help more than what he is doing now but he knows he can’t. His life is at stake as well Jaehyo.
Zico lightly smiles at the rings and at his awaited proposal and then closes the box, putting it away inside his pants. As he takes his mask out, his phone starts ringing.
“S’up,” he answers, sliding the door open and entering the dark room.
The bed was messy and the restroom had its door open ajar. The evidence of their cuddling affairs was still lingering heavily in the room.
“You’re late. We’re supposed to be on the balcony of the bar. You know that the Black Dragons will start without you,” Taeil, growls from the phone. Zico can picture his face frowning and a tugging Kyung behind him. It was the three of them against four Black Dragon members. That didn’t stop them from winning anyways.
“I’ll be there. Stall them while you can. If they start without me, they are dead,” Zico says, the smell of death in his breath.
The distance from their home and the bar was approximately thirty minutes away but if he got in the freeway and then turn into the right and enter the city again, he would be there in less twenty minutes.
That’s exactly what he did. The sound of the road was high in his ears, the sharpness of his eyes on the road was the primary focus into getting there. He was furious. No one ever starts a fight without him. A fight consists of him starting it and ending it. And he won’t go down without giving his all,his blood boiling for satisfaction and he was getting it tonight wether they wanted it or not. He is going to win tonight and then he is going to be finally able to claim Jaehyo as his.
The bar was close, not open yet to the public, when he approach with his car making the loudest noice ever. Both teams had two hours for them to fight before the owner open the bar at exactly ten in the night. The bar closed at three in the morning. Sometimes the bar was his second home.
Zico skips to the back and steps on the first concrete block of the stairs as fast as he cans until he is on top of the balcony.
Zico expected both teams to have a massive confrontation with raging insults but instead he is faced with Taeil fighting with one of the members of Black dragon, both of their masks on the floor.
“What the fuck,” he murmurs under his breath, running into the scene.
Taeil’s glasses were crushed, the glass shattered all over Kyung’s feet. The Black Dragon guy with anger in his eyes was pounding on Taeil’s face, leaving him unconscious.
Blood boils over him and he pushes the guy away from Taeil. He mounts on top of him and starts punching him in the face. The guy tries to push Zico off but Zico has one hand gripping his shirt while the other is punching his face.
All around me him, he hears shoutings from everyone and soon the real fight starts.
“Bastard,” Zico yell as he punches the guy’s jaw. The guy groans pushing Zico away and they roll around so that the guy is hovering over him. He punches Zico in the cheek and pain springs up, fueling him even more. He don’t let the guy hit him again so instead he kicks the guy in the stomach and gets up, this time kicking his stomach and groin area a bunch of times.
“You’re going to die,” Zico hears before he is kicked in the back causing him to fall on the ground. As Zico tries to get up, his head is kicked and immediately black out not before hearing a screaming ‘No!’ in the far distance.
The pounding of his head starts immediately after he flickers his eyes open. The light hurts hurts his eyes as he looks around the room. In a few seconds he identifies that he is exactly in his room. Taeil is sitting on a chair, right next to his bed. He’s frowning, his arms folded in his chest while he looks at the tv, the news going on in a low volume.
“What happened?” Zico asks, every move he does causes him pain.
“You got kicked in the fucking head that’s what happened. After you black out, the leader told them to stop and they left like that. We don’t know who won but we know who is one of the Black Dragons. I want to fucking kill him,” Taeil says, his knuckles turning white.
“I meant what happened before I was there.” Zico groans, his eyes close as he sits on his bed, letting a content sigh after leaning his back on the pillow.
“The guy with the blue mask started saying shit so it fueled me to just yank his mask and start hitting him. I didn’t though cause I knew you were coming already. But he just kept saying shit how we’re some sore losers and shit like they haven’t lost many fights before.” Taeil turns off the tv and comes closer to the bed.
“Do you need anything? I suggest taking you to the hospital but Kyung said it wasn’t necessary.” Taeil is right beside Zico, his hands going towards him
“It’s alright. I have something to do later in the night.” With a sway of his hand, Zico dismisses Taeil out of the room.
The clock is ticking and every second he waits he is one second behind to his perfect planned plan. His plan has been circulating his mind for months now. Up to this point, his plan was only his fantasy. But today it will became a reality.
His reality has to be perfect. He knows that Jaehyo is the one for him. He can’t wait any second longer without having to claim him as his own.
Year after year he has been coming home to an empty apartment and now he will come home to the arms of his fiancée and then soon to be husband.
Jaehyo has turn him into a softie. Even now, as he takes his suit out of the closet he can’t help but keep his smile plastered on his face.
Only a few hours before he can see Jaehyo. The nerves are starting to seek in so he does his best to ignore them. Getting nervous won’t help him at all tonight. But getting ready will.
Soon after Taeil has left the house, Zico turns on rap music, Epik High, blasting from his Bluetooth sound system. He cracks his knuckles and gets ready to be handsome for Jaehyo.
~~~
After the fight had happened and he had gone to his room to sulk, Jaehyo got a message from Zico to get ready and meet him at their favorite hotel room where they can hide away their secret.
Jaehyo was surprised and worried. He wondered how Zico looked after Minhyuk pound on his face. He wanted to scream ‘stop’ but he knew that if he did that they would be discovered and they would be separated. And that would be the worst thing that can happen to him.
On the drive back to their house, Jaehyo stayed silent, he did not look up from his position not even to speak to Jihoo who many times tried to get a word out of him.
They did not get why he was so upset. They thought that he was upset because they almost discovered who Minhyuk was. Minhyuk thought that Jaehyo was furious because he almost killed the guy which by the way is illegal.
They were so wrong.
Did they actually know how he was feeling? Of course not. They only care to know if they are in trouble. Not because they’re actually concerned with his emotions.
While he locked himself in his room to cry, the gang did their normal routine. Popped a beer open and turn on the tv on to any sports game. This was their ritual and for once he did not want to take any part of it.
Jaehyo’s room suddenly felt suffocated. The walls were closing in on him, his figure becoming smaller and smaller until there was only an inch of him away from the walls.
Despite no energy he broke the walls with his mighty force of anger. He was not going to self rot in his own wrath. He had his boyfriend a few miles away getting ready to meet him so he should too.
Being angry at his gang was not going to fix what happened with Zico. The rules are there no matter how much he wants to brake them. That shouldn’t be the reason why he should not go and console his boyfriend. Those stupid rules were not preventing him from seeing the love of his life so his gang members should neither.
He’s going to push down all his worries to the deep end of his belly and he was going to plaster on a smile for his boyfriend and then he is going to shower him with kisses of consolation.
It took Jaehyo no less then twenty minutes to get ready. His favorite pants were thrown on the chair of clothes which was the huge reason why he put them on. The pants were closer and were not dirty. His chair of clothes was solidly based on clothes he washed but was too lazy to put back on. His dirty clothes would either be on the floor or on his basket of dirty clothes. Never on the chair of clothes. He was adamant about that.
Minhyuk and Jihoo were screaming into the television when Jaehyo finally step out of his room. Looking at all the chips and pretzels they were consuming made his stomach churn with hunger.
“Where are you going at this late hour? Aren’t you going with us to the club?” Jihoo asks, his eyebrows knitted together.
“Somewhere,” Jaehyo responds with a monotonous voice and picks us his light blue sweater.
“Are you really not going to respond us?” Minhyuk asks irritated.
“Are you going to kill someone next time? Because if you do I’ll kill you myself,” he says looking at him straight in the eye.
Jaehyo might not mean what he says but he wants to scare him. Today he was scared for Zico and as low as he is right now, he wants Minhyuk to feel that same fear that almost ate him this early afternoon.
Minhyuk said nothing while Jihoo was trying to speak, his mouth moving all around but no sound would come.
“I might be late coming here or I might not come at all. Don’t wait at all. Oh, and if you fight someone else in the club Minhyuk, you will not have another warning. I will have to call my father.”
At the door he catches a glance from Minhyuk who was now silent and looked to be over analyzing what he did. Good. He was not going to get near Zico and Red Tiger again.
The door was slightly ajar when he first knocked on the door. There was no answer. Jaehyo called Zico’s name a couple of times before deciding to enter.
“That’s weird. He should be here.”
There was a dim light as he enter the room. Everything else was turned off. It was hard to see in front of him and the only thing he had to guide him was the glow of the light near him.
Jaehyo catch his breath in fear that someone would hear him and pull him somewhere. The room was never dark. Either Zico was on his phone plopped on the bed or he was in the restroom coming out of the shower.
Seeing the room dark make his insides twist with worry and anticipation. What is going on? Runs over his head right this second.
“Zico, are you hear?” His voice comes out weak and low. There is still nothing. No movement. No sound to be heard. Not even from the outside
Jaehyo gulps and prepares his fists to be used in case something were to happen to him. As he is preparing his fighting mode, the lights turn on. The light blinds him for a couple of seconds before he has regain full vision of the room.
Zico is the first thing he sees, an evident glowing smirk on his face. Jaehyo warmly smiles. At just one look at him and he is finally at ease. “What are you doing?”
“Surprising you. Come love, sit down with me.” Zico takes a couple of steps forward and lightly tugs Jaehyo over to the bed.
They sit very closely and their faces are close to each other, so close that they can kiss. They don’t. This time was more intimate than their bodies touching.
“Something is wrong,” Jaehyo says.
“What do you mean?” Zico looks confuse as he caresses his cheek. Jaehyo removes Zico’s hand from his face and with his own hand, touches the bruises he formed from the fight.
“I thought you were almost killed. I couldn’t stop them from hitting you. And I know that they almost killed one of your gang and I’m sorry. It wasn’t supposed to get out of hand.”
“It’s alright, Jaehyo. Your boy and my boy started this thing but I got dragged into it. I knew it wouldn’t be long before our feud would get out of hand. See, our gang hatred has already formed and it is not long before something bigger happens.” Zico sighs and closes his eyes, the touch from Jaehyo soothing at the same time that his bruises hurt him.
“What can we do. I don’t want to lose you,” Jaehyo whispers, afraid to even let him go.
“Don’t think about this right now. You are here with me and I want to protect you. I only want you to think of our situation right now. Forget about gangs and rules and only think of us right now.”
“Okay.” It might be hard to forget about what happened earlier but Jaehyo is going to try his best to make their time unforgettable. They don’t always get to be together all time. And he’s not going to waste it thinking about his idiot gang.
Zico kisses Jaehyo on the lips for a few seconds before he states that he is coming right back. Jaehyo nods without saying a word. He needs a moment to regain his full energy.
As he takes his light blue sweater off he catches a glimpse of himself in the dark clear window that has the view of other hotels. His face was showing dark circles under his eyes and as hard as he tried to take the worry out of his face, it was still there, in tact.
“Look at yourself you’re so beautiful,” Zico hums in his ear, his hands wrapping him from the back around to the front, his hands clasped on his belly. Jaehyo lays his hands on top of Zico’s hand and closes his eyes. “Don’t worry about me, Jaehyo. I hate having your face be firmed with worry.”
“I can’t help but worry, Zico. I don’t think I can handle being away from you any longer. I’ve never wanted to be the leader of Black Dragons and now you give me strength to get out.”
“You can’t get out, though. They’ll kill you if you want out. Please, don’t. I can’t wrap my head around if I loose you.”
“Then how can I have you? I can’t keep coming to you in secret as if we’re having an affair or something. I want you completely,” Jaehyo says, his stomach twisting, another form of worry coming at the top of his stomach.
“Then marry me?”
“What?” Jaehyo opens his eyes and looks at Zico from the dark clear window. They were still in the same position, no movement just shock.
“The only way I can have you is to marry me. No matter what happens they can’t do anything to you or separate us because we’ll be married.”
“Zico, I,” Jaehyo says, forming a sentence in his head but no words come out.
“Please, marry me Jaehyo. The only thing that can calm me down is if you marry me. Every day we are in secret is a day that we are closer to being separated. The fight only gave me a reason to confirm my worries.”
“When will we get married?” Jaehyo removes himself from Zico and turns around to hug him. Since Zico is taller he has to look up while Zico looks down on him.
Zico kisses his lips profoundly before saying,” as soon as possible.”
“Can we get married tomorrow?” Zico laughs at Jaehyo’s urge to marry the next day. They’ll get married soon but tonight they’ll sealed this engagement with the proof of their love.
“We have to prepare our wedding honey even if it’s just you and me.”
Jaehyo pouts. They won’t get married tomorrow but is engaged now and that is something that has made him happy. This engagement gives him the motivation to keep living his days until he can finally marry Zico.
Their marriage will be secret but at least he can now claim him as his.
~~~~
A/N:
Oh gosh it has been a long time. I won’t apologize because I feel like it’s all I do and that makes me look bad. But I will try to update faster. It’s not a promise but a commitment for you @YugiFazbear I hope you really really like it. There is more dialogue and the story is moving forward. I’m going to be changing the way the story is going since the story is now going to be a short story and obviously they need conflict and resolution. 🤗🤗
Comments and votes are appreciated. ❤️❤️
-Laterz Kelsi.
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