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The sonogram taken a couple of days ago is sitting at the bottom of Kihyun’s pants. The picture feels heavy as if it carries the lies that he is holding. Which is pretty much true. The picture showing his three,12 week fetuses inside is the proven fact that he is pregnant with Shownu’s children.
Having this picture with him while he is intently looking at Shownu talking to the vendors is really a distraction. He should be focus on the men in case they need more coffee or they need a folder but his mind is so occupied with a million thoughts.
Kihyun can’t help but look at Shownu differently. There is something about him that has changed. He really can’t pin point it yet. There is just something about him.
He can’t help but think that his pregnancy revelation has something to do with how he looks at him: more caring. He doesn’t see Shownu as cruel anymore. To him, Shownu is the father of his kids and nothing more.
Well maybe his feelings too. Kihyun sighs at his stupid, naive heart. Just because he’s having Shownu’s kids does not mean he’s going to change his actions towards him. In fact, he’s the one that changed his mind towards his boss. Ever since finding out about his triplets, his heart has mended towards the father no matter if he is still slightly cruel towards him.
And is not just about Shownu that his mind can’t keep still. It’s his triplets too. They’re verily 12 weeks old and in the phase of complications. There is a high chance of him loosing his babies. Even a higher chance than women seeing that his body was really not meant to conceive but by some miracle, it happened.
Whenever he does something that he feels he shouldn’t have or just walking around everywhere, following his boss’ order he feels a gaping feeling of worry. He knows he should lay down more, not do things that can add stress to his body hut he doesn’t stop because if he asks his boss if he can lower his working hours, he doesn’t want to tell him the reason why.
Not yet. He needs time to process, think about what he wants to tell Shownu. He wants to wait until the risky period is over. Kihyun is afraid that if he tells Shownu at this early stage he might stress out that he can loose his precious beings.
Kihyun lets a huge breath out and shifts his other foot so that his left foot is touching the floor, his soles being pressured. His neck is trouble him and he can feel his eyes start to close. Towards the end of the meeting, the conversation between the vendors and Shownu gets boring.
He really couldn’t give a crap about what they were saying. Talking about business and sales gives him an impending headache. This is all for the money, Kihyun says with irritation.
At this point, his bladder was building up and he couldn’t do anything about it because the meeting wasn’t over yet.
‘Curse you Shownu. Your kids are making me want to pee for the tenth thousand time today.’ He briefly glares at him. His bladder can’t hold his pee for that much time.
As he mentally curses Shownu, he by accident, notices that one of the men in the conference room is looking at him weirdly. He wasn’t trying to look at any of the men because,honestly they are old and grumpy. The irritation that he was having towards Shownu a the moment was really building up so he didn’t continue afraid that he would let his hormones control him and act out of proportion. So instead he tried to look the other way which only caused him to lock eyes with a very unfortunate, nasty old guy.
The guy who had a stain on his blue dress shirt with a mustache, gave him a look of hunger. His eyes lowered to his stomach, every look making him uncomfortable.
His stares made him self cautious and without thinking, he wraps his arms around his stomach. There was something about the guy that made him want to hide his stomach. Here’s verily a couple of weeks pregnant and by this stage, there is really no sign of a bump. He has three fetuses but there is no visible bump yet. He can notice a slight change on his belly when he takes a shower or when he rubs it at night but in the light of the day, there is no proof that he is indeed caring his boss’ babies.
The guy keeps staring at him. He’s the only one facing his direction. The other males are looking at the direction of Shownu which by now was focus on Kihyun. Shownu is frowning, sensing that Kihyun is uncomfortable. With his eyes, Kihyun asks for help. ‘Please tell the guy to stop looking at me.’
For a second, he closes his eyes. The sight of the guy is still on his mind. Disgusting eyes. Perverted lips. Frightening, cockily smile. He wants it all to stop. Why is he looking at him? What does he have on him? Kihyun is pretty sure that the perverted guy is not even gay. He just likes to prey on innocent gay men to satisfy his sickening desires.
Kihyun shivers, fear creeping up, masking his entire body. Thankfully, the meeting was over and he could move his body to grab all the cups and plates from the table.
One by one, the males start leaving the conference except some who are talking to Shownu. Shownu still has his eyes fixed on him while he talks in a serious tone.
The perverted guy takes his time to gather his things. He grabs his folder, slowly putting his things to his suitcase.
Kihyun takes a shaky breath and picks one cup from the table and places it on the silver platter. Following suit, he picks the others with slow pace. The guy still has not left and he is afraid to get the other silverware that are closer to him.
Instead, he takes the silver platter and takes the journey to the cart where he sets all the cups and plates. His hands are shaking from being scared. He had never had someone look at him that way, especially someone who is scary looking. The guy made him freak out and he fears that he will talk to him.
‘He won’t,’ he adds in his head. Nothing major will happen. This a professional place so if he wants to talk to him, it should only be for business inquiries. If he does try to do something, he can always knee his guts or try to slap him and get away.
Feeling more confident, Kihyun swivels his foot and goes to get the last of the cups and plates. The room is half way vacant and only one guy is talking to Shownu. They almost look done with their talk which makes Kihyun have some peace of mind.
“Are you the secretary?” The guy asks as Kihyun approaches him. The guy’s voice is raspy and out of breath. His body was kind of obese and looks like he eats greasy stuff every day at work.
Kihyun doesn’t look up and says,”Yes.” His voice is lowered as if he speaks louder the guy would sense his discomfort and would see that he frightens him.
“Ah. Shownu picked the pretty ones. He knows what’s good.” The guy chuckles, grabbing the suit case from the table and letting it hang on his chubby fingers.
Kihyun lightly smiles, showing his fake smile to be as real as possible. The last of the plates and cups where in the silver platter.
“If you want better pay than what he pays you come work for me.” The guy takes a card out of his shirt pocket and hands it to Kihyun. Kihyun has no choice but to take it from him.
“Thank you.” Kihyun bows down and quickly shoves the card to his pant pockets. “I have to go,” he says in a hurry. Without another glance, he picks the silver platter and walks in a rapid speed.
“Was that guy bothering you? You seem uncomfortable half way through the meeting.” Shownu was leaning his butt on the table of the plates and cups when Kihyun arrives. He has a cup of coffee on his hands and was rotating the spoon on the liquid substance, causing little ripples of waves to dance together.
“Sort of,” he says embarrassed. The situation shouldn’t be embarrassing to him. Instead, it should be aggravating to him, to be seen as a piece of meat when he should be considered to be another important person in the room, another to respect.
But above all, he does feel embarrassed that he couldn’t keep his face from showing his discomfort. It wasn’t professional.
“What did he tell you?” Shownu asks, this time his voice adding volume.
Kihyun starts adding the cups and plates to the cart to avoid even more tension to the situation. “He, uh, asked me to come to his company because he’ll pay even more than what you pay me.”
“He did what? That bastard. Did you say no?” He growls.
“Of course I said no,” Kihyun replies, lowering his head more. Why did he yell at him when it wasn’t his intention to get him all riled up. Why is even angry with him when he answered the question that he was given? It makes no sense to him.
“Good. He is a bad guy. He forces all his secretaries to have sex with him.” Shownu adds to the conversation, less volume to his voice, putting his cup to the cart.
“Just like you did,” Kihyun says in his head but he keeps quiet. He didn’t actually force him, more like suggested that they did so that he didn’t loose his bet. And it wasn’t like it left him scarred. That night was wonderful to him, something out of the ordinary. That night he wasn’t cruel.
“Well it was good that I didn’t agree. He is really creepy looking. I’m going to put the cart on the kitchen.” Kihyun excuses himself from his boss and retreats himself to the kitchen, where he can finally calm his frighten bones.
Later in the day, where his shift is almost coming to an end, Hyungwon pops in to his part of the cubicle. Without saying anything, he hands Kihyun a cup containing a citrus liquid. Hyungwon sits on his table and picks up the ultrasound that he had earlier in his pocket.
“I brought you orange juice, freshly squeezed whenever the factorie made it.” Hyungwon gives him a warm smile, a cute giggle following after, his gaze studying his three 15 week, forming blobs inside his womb.
“Thanks.” Kihyun takes a huge chug from the cup, the sweet citric passing through his esophagus. The juice did good to his stomach. He was getting hungry and the rumble of his stomach filled with terror didn’t help his unsteadiness.
“We’re still up for tomorrow right?” Hyungwon nods and puts the ultrasound down. “Minhyuk is coming around one to take us all to the mall.”
“Alright. I’ll get ready by then.” Kihyun, once done with the liquid substance, throws the foam cup to the trashcan.
For a few seconds there is silence. Hyungwon sighs, givin him a smile and then stands up. He rubs his neck and says with melodic tone,”Tell Kyungri to get healthy so that uncle Hyungwon can hold her.”
“Will do. Right this second she is following orders from her favorite uncle. She only listens to you.” Kihyun chuckles, shifting his butt in the chair.
“That’s my girl. I’ll see you tomorrow, baby momma.” Hyungwon ruffles his hair and caress his bellybefore he struts out of his small office.
His small talk with one of his best friends made him feel less worked up. He made him smile and for a few seconds he forgot that horrible day he had today. Out of all days, this day was exhausting to him. He swears that if he sees the guy again, he won’t be shy to kick his ass, no matter if he is deep into his pregnancy.
The way Hyungwon talked to one if his fetuses made him smile, made a huge impact on how much they love his kids already. Hyungwon thinks that he’s having at least one girl so he named the fetus that sits on the far corner of his belly. He talks to her and sings her lullabies with exaggerating voices, which sound more like animated.
They are healthy, forming inside my womb. At times I get mesmerized by the fact that while I am breathing, working, they are transforming, preparing for the world.
There is still a higher risk of loosing them because he’s still in the first trimester. Kihyun haven’t told his friends that every time he does something a little bit harder for his liking, he always thinks the worst: that he will loose his triplets.
Kihyun knows that he’s overreacting but he just can’t help but think the worst. His probabilities of loosing his triplets are higher. Not only is he a man with female reproductive organs, he also has a man’s hip which was never built to deliver and carry children. He wasn’t made to deliver kids which means his man hood is not equivalent to the female vagina and its delivery.
Kihyun tries to not let that get to him. Getting pregnant was a miracle and he’s pretty sure he’ll have another miracle which will lead him to safely deliver his children. It would be idiotic to have a male have children and then not let him deliver them. A miracle is gotta have to follow through its plan.
What was also a miracle was the personality change of Shownu towards Kihyun. It’s like it was timed the events leading to Shownu and Kihyun’s sexual encounter. It was like they had to had sex in order for him to change, for Kihyun to have the guts to tell him. But at the same time, it was a bribery. Kihyun could of just easily asked him without the alcohol in his system, without Shownu’s body being a distraction in his head.
At the time, he didn’t think of it. The only thing in his head was the bet. Kihyun was furious, disgusted. He had been thrown into a bet. And Shownu did not hesitate. But Kihyun still let him do the bet. Perhaps was because Shownu told Kihyun the bet before he even went with the plan. Or because Shownu’s eyes were playing games with him and he wasn’t thinking of cruel boss Shownu, but of hot Shownu.
Thinking of his stupid decision gives Kihyun a headache. He wasn’t thinking properly. Shownu wasn’t as well. For the rest of their sexual encounter, he was sweet, caring. He did not push him to do things that he didn’t want to do and he felt like afterwards he was a different person. He felt a little tug at his heart because he felt their energy change.
Although it was a small energy shift, Kihyun still felt like their relationship is not the same. They have some understanding. He can sense it as well as me. Even if he acts like a jerk whenever he is with other employees or with Jooheon.
Kihyun also feels like Shownu still wants to keep that facade. He doesn’t want them to know that he is more gentle, not as cruel as before. He doesn’t want questions where he doesn’t know how to answer them. And Kihyun feels him. He also doesn’t want his friends to know that he doesn’t really hate Shownu as before. He just sees him as the father of his fetuses growing inside of him.
Kihyun hates that he’s falling towards him while Shownu still sees him as before. In Shownu’s eyes, they only share in common their sexual, intimate moment.
And that really, really makes me him sad because he don’t see Shownu as before. Even if he’s mean to him, he knows that he is not like that in real life. The only thing he needs is someone to show him that cruel is not the only emotion to convey.
He hopes that person is him.
It was a long day for him Kihyun. His pupils are starting to close and his feet are killing him. Kihyun pops out of his chair and gathers his things where he trails his feet to his car where it will take him to his destination.
~~~
Hi, guys it’s been to long. I’m trying my hardest to write but I’m having my depression coming full on force. Normally, I can try to diminish to where I can normally function and be highly motivated but just staying at the house while my grandpa was at the hospital made me just you know break down. I’m trying to get motivated but honestly I’ll I want to do is go home. I feel like I’m just wasting my summer and not being productive.
In another note, to @YugiFazbear, I am planning your block b one shot and watching all the videos that you suggested. Soon the first part of your one shot will be up. @greenappleisme I am sorry if there is any mistakes. When I was writing the beginning of the third part, i realized i was writing in first person pov and I didn’t like how it was going. So I rewrote everything and took some bits and pieces from the first pov. I hope you like his internal monologue. Next chapter is going to be fun and full of juice. I love u guys.
-Laterz Kelsi.
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