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“So, you guys can have pancakes, waffles or eggs.” I shrugged turning to look at the three children in front of me. They all just glared back at me.
I was trying to steer them into… well, something other than being depressed in their rooms, but they took that as me telling them to forget about Corey, or act like it was normal without him.
“Waffles it is!” I smiled at them after a while of no one speaking, just glaring. “Tammy, can you get –” I was saying.
“Daddy, I’m not hungry… I said so already…” she cut me off giving me a little frown.
“I can hear your tummy rumbling, so yes you are, Princess. Please get me some strawberries.” She slid from her seat slowly and walked to the fridge, her frown not wavering. She opened it and ran her dull hazel eyes over everything slowly.
“I want salad…” She eventually mumbled while looking at me, I knew she wanted it the way Corey always made it, the difference was she had never willingly eaten it before. I was happy her frown was gone, but now she was just giving me a blank stare. I looked at the two boys, raising my eyebrows to ask them if they wanted something else as well.
“I want waffles,” Ashton spoke.
Our eyes shifted to Eli.
“I’m not eating.” He said.
“Eli –” I began.
“I’m not hungry, so I’m not eating, Dad.” He said through grit teeth.
I bit my lip before I dropped my smile and bent down beside his chair so that I was at his level.
“I know you’re hungry and I’m not going to let you make yourself sick, so it’s either you eat now, Eli, or I’m getting Sean to take you to Crab’s Kingdom all day until you’ve eaten something there.” I knew there was no way Eli wanted to go out, especially not to a place filled with loud, playful, happy children. Usually, he would have loved to though.
He gave me a fiery glare before he jumped off his seat, grabbed an apple, banana and a box of juice and he walked out of the kitchen. He was definitely headed back to his room.
I let out a sigh feeling worried but figured I would check on him later and smiled at the other children who did not respond to my expression before I began to make their breakfast and my own.
Thirty minutes later I was done swallowing food I had no taste for and settled on watching Tamia and Ashton eat their food slowly. They were not even half finished, most of the time Ashton was pushing cold waffle pieces around his plate and Tamia was just staring at her salad without any movement. Occasionally though, they would take a bite of the food, which I figured was a win.
I looked away from them as Eli walked back into the kitchen avoiding my eyes before he climbed onto my lap and rested his head on my shoulder without saying a word. The others glanced up before returning back to their food. I patted his back softly until I heard his breathing slow as he sunk into me and realised he had fallen asleep. Though I was glad to have him close, I was dreading leaving the kitchen. They were so heavy now and I would have to carry him all the way upstairs. No, wait.
“Trent,” I spoke.
“Uh-huh?” His voice came from somewhere upstairs.
“Help.” Tamia looked up and gave a small, tired smile to me and I stuck my tongue out at her making her small smile stretch a little, though her eyes did not light up like they usually would before they returned to her salad.
Trent walked into the kitchen and nodded. “Got it,” he said pulling Eli off me gently as he tried not to wake him, though I knew there was no way he was waking up because it was Eli and he slept like… me.
I stood up hearing the front door open as Trent took Eli to his room.
“Whatever happened to knocking…?” Kaden mumbled, “Who is it?” I heard him call as he made his way downstairs. I chuckled to myself.
“You live in a packhouse, no one ever knocks.” I raised my brows at the voice.
“Marcus?” I called walking out of the kitchen. I stopped at the living room entrance as I spotted him. “You’re back,” I said.
“Yeah,” he sighed before glancing by me, “You always get what you want, don’t you?” he asked giving a hint of an annoyed smile; I turned to see Sean smiling at him.
“Well, I hope so… so you’re going to try?” Sean asked.
“Uh… Kade’s office.” He replied. I followed Sean to Kaden’s office because he had grabbed hold of my arm to drag me there without telling me what the hell was going on.
When we were in the sound-proof office, I stepped back and stared at Sean and Marcus.
“So uh… what’s this about?” Kaden voiced my thoughts.
“Marcus can bring Corey back –” Sean began.
I froze.
“No, well… Maybe… I uh… I did some research after you came to see me. I might be able to bring him back – might, but not the way Bianca brings people back. Because I’m not as powerful, I will have to do an exchange, if you put it that way.” Marcus said.
“Wait, you mean… kill someone to bring him back?” Kaden asked.
“Yes. A soul for a soul.” Marcus nodded.
“That’s great! Good thing I kept her alive then. You can just use Carrie.” Sean said. I don’t think he had just heard what left his mouth; he was too enthusiastic about bringing Corey back.
I stared at them trying to process what had just been said and realised they were all looking at me, waiting for me to say something. They wanted me to agree? I shook my head biting my lip.
“No,” I said.
“No? You don’t want us to use Carrie?” Sean asked.
“No, no, I don’t care – I don’t know, but I know I don’t care. Just do whatever. Uh… I have to go –” I turned to leave.
“Wait, you don’t want to be there when he brings Corey back –?” Sean asked shocked. I stopped and turned back to him.
“No, not when, if – if he brings Corey back, Sean. There’s no guarantee, he said so. Didn’t you, Marc?” Marcus pursed his lips and nodded at the ground, avoiding my eyes. I nodded looking back at Sean. “There is no guarantee. Look, I’m not going to stand here and get my hopes up, even with this soul thing, Marcus still might not be able to bring him back so yeah, I won’t be there, but do what you must.” I said heading for the door.
“Are you serious?” he grabbed my arm before I could grab the handle.
“Sean, I really hope it works, I do, but I can’t… I can’t believe it will, because what if it doesn’t?” I asked.
“What if it does?” he countered.
“Great, that would be great… but if it doesn’t, I’ll be right back where I started. I can’t do this a second time around.” It hurt too much already and I still had not let his mark fade. Sean’s eyebrows rose before he gave a slow nod in realisation.
“Alright…” he whispered.
“And uh – keep this to yourselves, I don’t want any of this reaching the twins. I don’t want them getting their hopes up, I’d advise the same for Ashton.” I said before walking out and shutting the door behind me.
I let out a heavy sigh as I shut my eyes feeling a knot grow in my throat. I clenched my fist opening my eyes.
I didn’t know what I believed, but I knew what I felt, and I knew it was too late not to get my hopes up. If there was a chance, any chance no matter how small… then that was all I had hope for and I couldn’t stop myself, but if it didn’t happen, if they couldn’t bring him back, I knew it was going to be shattering. There was no way I was letting my children hear about their plan. Not until it worked… if it worked.
—–
*Sean*
“So… so she just… dies?” I asked uncertainly. I felt bad. Why had I suggested this? I wasn’t as merciless as Corey could be, after everything she had done; I still couldn’t just take her life.
“Yes, so get out if you’re having second thoughts.” Trent shot a frank stare at me as he helped Marcus set the chamber up.
Ah, birds of a feather… no wonder they were best friends.
“Well, she won’t exactly just die, she would have his wound.” Marcus shrugged tying what looked like rope dipped in some liquid he had made earlier by using dry plants and muttering a spell around Carrie’s wrists.
I nodded looking at her face. She was unconscious. She pissed me off, I wanted to harm her but my stomach still twisted. Still, if she needed to die to bring him back, I could handle killing her.
“Hey, Marc, why don’t I just do it because I’m stronger than you are? You can just teach me the spell.” I spoke.
“You’re a stronger werewolf. I’m more warlock than you are, my spells are stronger.” He replied.
Right… I frowned rubbing my temples. Why was I suddenly so uncertain about this? Something about it just made me feel so uneasy. Jayden was somewhere upstairs, had been since our conversation in Kaden’s office yesterday. The kids were oblivious; I had decided to keep it from our entire pack as well. No point in giving people false hope, but I knew Jayden was deep into hope already, even though he denied it. I saw it when I helped him make breakfast for the kids earlier in the morning. I almost wished I had not told him…
“So… if it doesn’t work, nothing happens right?” I asked as he gave Trent, Jason and Katie (one of the complete witches our pack had accepted into it, but only because she was mated to one of us) a nod mumbling a ‘thank you’ for their help in setting up candles and herb mixtures. Despite being half-wolf, Marcus was an incredibly strong warlock, stronger than most warlocks and witches.
“Something like that, Sean.” He gave me a smile as he lifted his hand and began mumbling the spell.
“No, no, no, no.” I said quickly, “What do you mean ‘something like that’? What happens if it doesn’t work, Marcus?” I asked, but he was already too engaged in the spell to reply.
“It means something will happen. When you put strain on the barriers between life and death,” Katie spoke up from beside me, “You either get what you want or you give something in return to repair the unnecessary stress you put on it. If this doesn’t work because he’s too weak, both Carrie and Marcus will die and we’ll have no Corey in return.” I turned to her stunned.
“What? Are you fucking serious? He didn’t tell me that! He can’t –! No –” I tried to grab Marcus’s shoulder but a force sent me slamming into the wall behind me before I could even touch him, “No, no – I didn’t know –”
“There’s nothing you can do now. You can’t interrupt a spell this powerful once it’s started… unless you’re stronger than it is and no one here is.” Katie said.
I shook my head covering my face. Why hadn’t he told me? This was a bad idea; I should have looked into it before he started. I was such an idiot, I knew this was wrong.
I watched gritting my teeth as he muttered aggressively while the veins in his temple and forehead began to bulge. Too much strain…
“There has to be something we can do, Katie,” I looked at her desperately. She shook her head giving me an apologetic stare.
I turned back to Marcus as screams erupted to see that his nose had started bleeding, but so had Carrie’s chest. Carrie was the one screaming because she had just woken up, Marcus was still muttering the spell intensely. She was glaring at us, shouting and asking what was happening but no one cared to give an explanation.
I looked away from her as the door slammed open.
“No –” Bianca gasped seeing Marcus, Jayden was right behind her looking shocked.
Jason quickly shoved the door shut behind them to prevent anyone else in the pack from seeing or hearing what was happening.
“Bianca!” I gave a smile of relief as I realised it was her, she was stronger than the spell itself, “Stop it – please, stop him –” I said.
“I can’t.” She shook her head, “It’s too late, the spell’s halfway through.” There were tears in her eyes as she watched Marcus.
I dropped my head into my hands. The last thing I wanted was for Marcus to die too. I should never have asked him to help. I had been so fucking selfish. I should just have let it go.
*****
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