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“Natalie told you this?” Silver asks as she sits on my bed
Nodding “what am I supposed to do with that?” She shrugs “do you know if he’s talking to someone else? Maybe it’s another girl”
“No I don’t know but he could’ve been talking about you Baz” groaning I turn my desk chair away, “seriously he could actually like you.”
“Damien Allen does not like me like that trust me, he’s said it a thousand times”
“People say things they don’t mean all the time if he denies it to you he could just be scared.”
“Or he’s actually just a curious straight boy and I’m wasting my time” I could’ve gone out and found myself an actual relationship, but no I settled for Damien who I’m pretty sure will drop me the minute he’s done getting what he wanted.
Silver goes home after having dinner with me and my parents, I sit in my room that night watching shows on my laptop in bed. My phone starts to vibrate next to me and I see Damien’s name on the screen, picking it up “hi”
“Hey I’m outside” his voice replies
“You want to come up or…”
“I don’t think I can climb that tree right now”
“Why not?”
“Might’ve had a few too many”
“You’re drunk?” I hear him snicker and I sigh “Stay there I’ll be out in a second.” Getting out of bed I open my door slowly walking out, seeing my parent’s bedroom door closed I quickly walk to the front door. Making it to the gate I see Damien sitting on the floor leaning against it the closer I get. “Hey”
“Baz!” He turns with a grin, opening the gate Damien falls backward instantly
He laughs as I hover over him “how’d you get here?” I ask helping him up
“I drove”
“Seriously”
“Nah I’m fucking with you I took a cab.”
Wrapping an arm around my neck Damien stumbles a few times then finds his footing “we’re gonna sneak in but you have to be very quiet ok”
He nods “I’m the quietest person I know” he’s really not.
Helping him up the steps to my front door I slowly open it and stop, listening to make sure no one is moving around Damien steps in first and pulls me with him. Shutting the door we walk slowly to my room and Damien doesn’t say a word until we’re in my room with the door shut. “What are you doing here?” I watch him drop on my bed
“I didn’t want to go home” Damien tries to keep his deep voice down closing his eyes, “I think I might like your bed more than mine” yeah he is drunk he’d never say shit like that sober.
“Do you want some water or something?” He nods, finding a reason to leave the room I shut the door behind me and stand there for a second. What the fuck? I can barely deal with sober Damien, how the hell am I supposed to do this when he’s drunk?
Going to the kitchen I grab a cup filling it with water, taking another second before I go back to my room I stop in front of the sink and take a breath. Good luck to me.
I walk back in to find his shoes and pants on the floor, Damien is under my covers with his eyes closed probably already asleep. Putting the cup down I quietly walk to my desk chair sitting down, I’ll let him sleep for a little bit… I think to myself as I open my laptop.
“Where are you?” Damien quietly asks
Slowly turning in the chair I see his eyes are still closed, “I’m right here” I answer
He sighs “give it a rest Baz”
I’m confused “what?”
Using his hand Damien taps the empty space next to him “come lay down.” Without saying a word I shut my computer getting up from the chair. Slowly laying down next to him I turn facing him. Damien looks so good asleep, is that weird? So peaceful and gentle, you can’t tell he’s crazy when he’s sleeping. As I stare at Damien I hear his breathing getting louder meaning he’s deep asleep, reaching my hand up I run my fingers against his face.
I slowly work my way to his head, my fingers massage his head and I swear it’s making him smile.
“You’re asleep aren’t you?” I whisper, my face lying very close to his “you can’t even hear me right now” I take my hand away and lay still. “You want to hear something fucking stupid?” I continue, not caring about what’s gonna come out of my mouth I say “I think I’m in love with you, no actually I know I am, and before this very moment I have never been able to admit that out loud to anyone, not even myself.” I should really shut the fuck up and let him sleep
But when am I ever going to get a chance like this again? Him drunk in my bed, admitting he likes it more than his own. I’ve never seen Damien so soft like he could almost be a boyfriend… in my dreams.
Finally falling asleep I’m woken up the next morning by the sound of Damien whispering on the phone, slowly opening my eyes I rub them and look over at the window, the sun is barely up. “Did he hit you? …I know I’ll be there soon just stay in your room ok… if he bothers you call me.” He hangs up, walking to his pants Damien puts them on and doesn’t notice I’m awake until he sits to tie his shoes in my chair and his eyes land in mine. “Hey” he continues tying the other shoe
“Everything ok?” I ask quietly with a dry mouth
“Yeah just shit with my dad and little brother, I gotta head home” he stands, “I’ll see you at school later?”
“Okay,” I nod. Watching him walk to the window he climbs out then shuts it.
Day past with not much interaction between us, I always know to keep my distance and wait for him to come to me. The thought of me admitting to Damien I was in love with him while he slept keeps replaying in my head. What the fuck was I thinking? What if he heard me? What if he heard me and that’s why he’s not talking to me? What if- “hey babes” Silver greets me as I leave class
“Were you waiting for me?” I ask walking in the hall with her next to me
“Yes guess what?” Not bothering to try and guess I wait for her to continue “I got us tickets to homecoming on Friday”
“Absolutely not”
“Oh my god Baz please!” She grabs my arm stopping me “please say yes, pleeeeeeeeeeease”
“Silver stop!” I yank my arm away “you always do this, beg me to do something I don’t want to!”
“But homecoming will be so much fun”
“Yeah for who?” I walk away
“Us Baz! Just picture it; us dancing, having fun, maybe we’ll even find boyfriends” she grins. It’s like my own best friend doesn’t even know me “oh and best part, Georgia!” Silver sees Georgia walking by and calls her over, “is it true your hot brother’s band is playing at homecoming this Friday?”
“Ew please don’t call him hot and yes he is”
“Baz her brother used to go here, remember Nel? He was a senior when we were freshmen”
“Nope” I reply
“Well I remember him and how fucking hot he was, Georgia you have to introduce me on Friday”
“Sure but my brother’s gay”
I watch the grin on silver’s face disappear followed by a look of defeat, “Damn it” she stomps her foot “seriously?”
Georgia nods “if anything Baz is more his type, but I’d never do that to you Baz”
“Do what to me?” I ask curiously
“Introduce you to my brother, he’s such a player” aren’t they all?
“Wait back up to the part where Baz is more his type, are you saying Baz has a chance?” Silver is interested again
“What are you doing?” I glare at her
“You’re the kind of guys he dates at college Baz, smart, cute, quiet guys, but he just sleeps with them then ghosts them. So messed up right?” The bell rings and it’s time for our next class, “all right I’ll see you guys later” Georgia smiles before walking away.
Silver and I stand there as everyone else empties the hall “I have a plan” she turns to me with a smirk.
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