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*68 days BeFoUr*
Zayn’s parents were sitting in their living room. Silvia rested her head on Trisha’s lap while the later read to her. They had this ritual where they would read the best parts of their favourites books to each other every year, refreshing the stories in their hearts. It was a twilight day. They were already through the first two parts and now onto the third. Trisha was going through the bookmarks to find her most favourite part while her wife just laid there, calm and comfortable. This was her favourite part of their early retirement. They were living their own life now aside from the pack life. In fact, if it wasn’t for Zayn, Silvia would’ve taken Trisha to see the world. She knew her mate would’ve loved that but they couldn’t leave Zayn behind. They couldn’t leave the reason they had started their life for behind.
Trisha gasps as the door to their little house slams open. Silvia jumps up already in a fighting stance. It was rare that any intruders were able to get through the first layer of guards let alone in the safest part of the pack but you never know.
” Zayn.” She frowns at the sight of her son. He looked at his parents, his eyes full of emotions. For a second everything had stopped and they just looked at each other but then Zayn broke down falling onto the ground. Silvia raced towards her son trying her best to gather him up and fix him. Trisha was right behind her. Zayn was screaming at the top of his lungs all the barricades forgotten.
” Oh my God.” A scream escaped Trisha’s lips as he started hitting himself banging his fists in his chest. Silvia’s eye’s widened. She had never seen her son in such a state. Quickly she took both of his hand in her own, shaking him firmly.
” What are you doing?!” Her tone was firm but her eyes were screaming in fear. Zayn struggled against her kicking and squirming, trying his best to wrestles his way out of his mother’s grasp. It was like something had come over him and it was trying to destroy him. He banged his head on the floor earning a concern scream from Trisha. She crouched down to her distressed son placing her hand under his head.
” Zayn! Baby calm down!” Her voice was urgent but it had no effect on the lad. He screamed and wailed as if he was being ripped from the inside out.
Silvia looked at Trisha with a worried expression. Her eyes were wide and full of concern. Trisha burst out crying not being able to bear her son’s condition. It wasn’t unexpected, though, after all, she was the emotional mate. Zayn let out a distinctly broken sob before he was spewing out words faster than lightening.
” Why is he doing that to me? He’s hurting me. Why can’t he just leave me alone? Why can’t he just go away? Why does he have to be with her all the time? Why do I have the stupid attachment? Why can’t he be my mate? Why do I love him?” The words getting softer by the second. His eye’s widened as he realised what he had said. “I love him.” He looked at his mothers and it’s like everything stopped for a second.” I love him.”
Trisha gulped before opening her mouth to say. ” No, you don’t baby it’s just the attachment. It’s playing with your mind. Don’t worry you will know what love feels like when you find your mate and it will be the best feeling in the world. Even better than this.” She cupped her face and tried to get it through him but Zayn recoiled banging his head back on the floor.
” Zayn!” Silvia said as sternly as possible before getting him off the floor and moving him to the couch.
” I want him to be my mate. I want him to be there with me. Hold my hand. Twirl me around. Smile for me.” Silvia’s heart cracked at those words. She ignored the urge to smack the shit out of Liam and tucked her son under the covers. ” I want him to love me.” Trisha kissed the top of his head, trying to smooth out the frown on his forehead.
” Let’s just sleep. Yeah? Get his medicine.” She guided her wife. Silvia went to the nearest cabinet to grab the bottle of pills. She kept her eyes at her distraught son and his tending mother waiting for any signal that could lead to destruction.
” Maybe I should just die.” The bottle fell out of her grasp. ” I hope I die before the coronation and the mating ceremony. I hope I wouldn’t have to see them together. I hope he hurts like I am hurting now. I hope I die soon.” The next thing that happened shouldn’t have been such a shocking event but as Trisha’s palm struck with Zayn’s cheek, successfully shutting him up, Silvia could only gasp.
” Trish!” She picked up the bottle and rushed to the two. Trisha was glaring at Zayn, her face void of remorse. Shock was painted all over Zayn’s face. Silvia could see it in his eye’s that he knew what he had said was wrong. ” Trish go wait outside I’ll meet you there in a second.” Trisha walked out of the door without a word.
” I’m so sorry.” Silvia’s eyes landed on her son who was crying again.” I didn’t mean it. It just hurts so much.” She sat beside her pulling him onto her lap.
” I know. It’s fine. Mum didn’t mean it either. She’s just hurt.” She placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Zayn snuggled into her chest searching for warmth and love. Silvia got a pill out of the bottle and handed it to him. ” Now take this. We don’t need another panic attack do we?” He didn’t say a word swallowing the pill with much effort.
It hurt her how much her son was hurting. It hurt her how the attachment was affecting him this much. It hurt her that her mate was hurting and she just didn’t know what to do. Because whether she liked it or not there was no way she could fix it.
It only took minutes for Zayn to fall asleep and as soon as she was sure that he was comfortable, Silvia walked out of her house to confront her agitated mate. Trisha was pacing around with a scowl on her face. She sighed when her eyes landed at her mate.
” I’m sorry.” Her tone was sheepish but eyes still blazed in anger. Silvia walked over to her and gave her a firm hug.
” It’s fine.” She could feel her mates emotions and it wasn’t anything pleasant in that moment.
” How’s he doing?” They pulled apart looking directly at each other.
Silvia hesitated before saying.” He’s sleeping.” Trisha nodded at that.
” I’m going to kill him.” Her face contorted into a scowl.
Silvia frowned. ” No, you’re not!”
” Yes, I am! I hate him!” Trisha stomped on the ground as hard as she could.
” Trish it’s not his fault.” Her mate tried to get it across her but it did nothing.
” It is! Why did he have to treat him like he was his mate when he knew how uncertain that could be.” Silvia sighed at the accusation. She knew it was hard to see her son in that state but it felt like her mate had lost all logic and sense.
” He loved him.” Trisha’s expressions didn’t change.
” He didn’t. If he did he wouldn’t have rubbed his mate off in Zayn’s face.” She all but yelled.
” Trish!” Silvia warned her, looking around to see if someone was around. Thankfully no one was.
” No! I can’t see it. I can’t see him like this. I’ve fought against the world to have him. Raised him on my own. Loved him. I won’t give anyone the permission to kill him like this.” It was Trisha’s turn to breakdown. Every word she said was true. They had started a new life against their pack because of Zayn. Their pack didn’t accept homosexual mates and they had gladly accepted death as per suggested by their elders. But then Zayn was conceived and everything changed. They had fought life to get their baby and they couldn’t lose him like that.
” Is everything alright?” Silvia shifted her gaze to the voice. It was beta Louis.
” Yes.”She said simultaneously as Trisha yelled out. ” No, it’s not!”
” Trish!” She warned again, giving Louis a sheepish look.
” Tell Alpha Liam to leave Zayn alone!” But Trisha wasn’t having any of it. She grabbed Silvia’s arm and dragged her inside.
” Welcome back beta Louis.” Silvia let out before closing their door, her face red with embarrassment.
Louis just stood there baffled at what he had witnessed.
” I leave for a month and this what I come back to. Liam you dumbass what have you done now..” He huffed to no one but himself.
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*That Day*
Zayn blushed.
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A/N
Hi people! I feel exactly like weird posting that journal entry. I hope you guys like it and at least some of you feel the pain.
Comment.Vote.Preach.LoveZayn.
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