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Josh and I didn’t talk all week after the fight. I missed him more than I ever have before. It was one thing not to talk to me for a couple of days but now he hasn’t talked to me for a full week and we even have class together.
We didn’t even sit together at lunch. I, honestly, didn’t even see him at lunch after Monday. He must of just stopped going. I didn’t expect him to be here today and it was Friday now so I just sat down and ate by myself. Just like old times only now I’d be thinking of Josh.
It seemed as though lunch went on forever but that was just because I was bored and lonely. When the bell rang I practically rejoiced. There’s nothing worse than being alone in a room full of people.
As I went to last period, the period I had with Josh, I saw him across the hall walking the other way. I made eye contact with him and gave him a questioning look, trying to mentally ask him where he was going.
He only just shrugged and continued to walk, not bothering to even turn around.
That class I was by myself too. I guess he really wasn’t talking to me. Maybe he didn’t want to ever talk to me. Maybe he was sick of me. Instead of doing work, that’s all I did. I thought about worst case scenarios about our relationship, dare I call it that now.
Did I really mess up that badly that he didn’t want to talk to me anymore? That he didn’t want to even see me at lunch?
I went home on the brink of tears again. This was a pattern that I’d shown this week. I’d been crying myself to sleep because of Josh. I didn’t mean to ruin anything. I just wanted him to be okay. I didn’t mean for him to hate me.
***
fair winds, my guy *
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