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Josh hasn’t come over in a few days. I mean, we’ve seen each other at school and. of course, texted but he hasn’t come over. I keep inviting him but he tells me he can’t and that he’s busy then we go our separate ways.
I missed when he came over. I missed cuddling and chilling out with him. Although we’ve skipped class and hung out on the football bleachers a couple times, it wasn’t the same. I just missed him.
I think that’s why I decided to go over his house today. I was tired of getting rejected by him, honestly. I just wanted to see him. Things got done last time I went over anyways. I mean, that’s the reason we started dating! I’d be silly not to try it again.
As I walked up the front steps I was nervous. I just didn’t want his dad to answer the door. I really didn’t feel like seeing that scum bag. Nonetheless, I knocked and waited for an answer. I ended up standing there for five minutes without someone answering so I knocked again and heard shuffling behind the door before it opened.
“Oh!” Josh’s mom. “Hello, Tyler!” She smiled greatly at me. I’ve never seen her smile be so big in all the months Josh and I have been dating.
“Hey, Mrs. Dun. What’s going on here?” I asked, peeking inside as I notice a lot of moving boxes behind her.
“Oh, please. Call me Joan. Surely Josh has told you that his father and I are getting a divorce, correct?” I shook my head. Wow.
“Sorry, no. Josh hasn’t been talking to me much lately. That’s actually why I was over here. Do you know if he’s okay? I keep inviting him over but he keeps saying he’s busy? I understand it’s a hassle to get his dad’s stuff out the house but still, you know?” I explained. She nodded and listened closely.
“I understand. He hasn’t been busy at all though, dear. He’s actually been doing a little well, I think. He told me he’s been off of his meds and he’s doing better. Though I don’t agree with just stopping so I told him that as soon as I see something bad then I’m putting him right back on them.” She thought out loud. She was a nice woman. Nice enough to tell me things Josh should be telling me himself. Why didn’t he tell me he was off of his meds? And why did he lie about being busy all week? Did he just not want me around? A million questions raced through my mind and I couldn’t handle it. I felt like a nuisance.
“Oh…” That’s all I managed to say. That’s all I could mutter now.
“Mom, who are you talking to?” I heard Josh say as he came down the stair behind her. As soon as he saw me his smile faded and turned into pursed lips.
“What are you doing here, Ty?”
“Nothing. I have to go. I should go anyways since you’re so busy.” My voice trembled and my lips quivered. On the brink of tears, I ran off and made my way home.
I felt so betrayed. So pathetic. What was going on? Why wasn’t Josh telling me a single thing? I’d been asking him about things all week yet I didn’t hear a single thing from him about his dad leaving or him going off of his meds. What was that even about? Why would he think that was a good idea?
An hour. An hour I spent crying into my bedroom pillow. I fell asleep during one cry fest though.
I’d locked myself in there as soon as I got home. My mom wasn’t here. No one was. How typical. Alone again? Hurting again? Great job, Tyler. Super- A knock on the door.
I sniffled quietly and stayed silent, not knowing who it was or how they got in. Another knock.
“Come on, Ty. Please open up. I need to talk to you.” It was Josh. Why was he here? I didn’t want to see him. I opened the door. I guess I did want to see him after all.
“What do you want?” I sniffled, looking up at him with my big, red, puffy eyes. His eyes held sympathy and regret but he said nothing that indicated he meant so.
“What happened?”
“You happened.” I groaned, leaving my door open and crawling back in my bed.
“What did I do?”
“You lied to me. Made me feel like an idiot.” I shrugged.
“I lied to you? What are you talking about, Tyler?” He sat on my bed and reached out to me. I pulled away. Contact from him was the last thing I needed now.
“‘I’m busy.’ or ‘Everything’s fine.’ Remember those, Josh? Do you remember telling me those stupid lies all week? Then I go over your house to make sure since you haven’t been with me and your mom tells me you’re off your medication! What is that?” My sadness turned into anger.
“Am I supposed to be with you 24/7? I can go home every once in a while, too.” Josh spat at me. The whole conversation was getting heated but no one attempted to take a break from the whole “Let’s yell at each other.” routine.
“No but telling me the truth and saying ‘I’m not really up for hanging out right now.’ would have been fine too!”
“Okay sorry for sparing your feelings because I didn’t want to tell you about how I didn’t want to hang out with you. Is that all?” He rolled his eyes.
“No, of course it’s not. What made you think going off your meds was a good idea? Who encouraged you to do that?” I glared at him.
“No one. And, quite frankly, I don’t think that’s any of your business.” He explained.
“It’s not my business even though we’ve been dating for how long? Ten months now, right? Crazy how it’s still not my business.”
“Whatever, Tyler.”
“Whatever, Josh.” Silence. After a while the argument’s heat calmed down but the tension was still high.
“I’m leaving. I’ll talk to you when I talk to you. And, yes, that means we won’t be hanging out until then. Goodbye, Ty.” I watched as Josh got up, left my room, slammed my door and left the house completely.
Our first argument and I made him leave. I can’t believe this.
Why were relationships so hard? Was I in the wrong? Him telling me what was going on was important and he knew that. I only had the best intentions in mind but he made it seem like I had to have control over him every second of the day. I sighed as a tear ran down my cheek. I guess it’s time for me to cry myself asleep, again.
***
Yee, Joan in in here. yw.
lates *
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