Array
(
[text] =>
#ThisIsMyHIVStory #IAmNotMyDisease
#MyStatusIsNotASecret #StopTheStigma
#WorldAidsDay2016 #AwarenessIsTheKey
I am 32, from Manila – Philippines, a lover, a friend, a breadwinner and I was diagnosed with HIV – June of this year. Sadly, my ex partner for 8 months didn’t disclose to me his status, it’s too late for me to know that he was diagnosed since 2014. I always knew and felt that there was something wrong in my body and different about me but i don’t know what it was. My immune system or CD4 count that time went down to 80 – which should be atleast 800 to 1000 for a healthy body. When I learned about my diagnosis I tried to commit suicide, because I thought my life was over. I was told by my doctor that as long as i take my meds/ARV everyday to help fight off the virus, i will be okay. Taking my meds wasn’t the hard part, dealing with the stigma of HIV was. People would get scared if they found out I have HIV. Scared that they might catch it, and they would automatically think about it being a death sentence. But I’m a living proof that there are medicines that help us stay healthy, and not die.
My family always told me not to tell anybody, to keep it as a secret, because people would look at me differently. They would say that some people are not educated about HIV, others will just say negative things about me, judge me, curse me and even hate me for having this virus, and because of those reasons, it would be best to just stay quiet about my status. As time went on, I became captive to this secret. I talked to Jesus, thanked HIM, surrendered my life and everything to HIM. Then I’ve asked myself, why should I hide? I don’t care anymore on what people can say. As I began to free myself from this internalized stigma and shame, I began to feel better about myself. That’s why today, in celebration of WORLD AIDS DAY, I have decided to share my story to everyone to share love and happiness – not HIV.
I’m coming out publicly with my status to encourage, inspire and empower others. That there’s still life after HIV – it’s not yet the end. I will be the voice to help tear down the walls of stigma, fear and shame. I want everyone to know that science is clear that people living with HIV with a sustained undetectable viral load who take their meds/ARV can’t transmit the virus to anyone else easily by means of saliva or even sharing utensils. You don’t need to be afraid to anyone who is living with it. We can have a normal, healthy lives and do anything that anyone else can do. People living with this virus is not always that easy and I have certainly been through a lot, but it’s not the death sentence it once was, and that we are no different than anyone else.
My family, friends and HIV international groups have always been there for me, they support me on my journey living with this virus. Learning to take care of myself physically, mentally, and spiritually has been a key part of accepting who I am. I learned to love myself more regardless of my status. I’m spreading the message to all of you that a virus does not define somebody. Love is the answer, nobody should feel uncomfortable or any less accepted because of an HIV status.
To those people living with HIV, and especially to those breadwinners like me, I salute you, we still have a purpose why we were given a second chance to live. Please don’t ever give up and just continue fighting for your family. If you are still in silence and shame of your diagnosis, please know it gets better, please take your meds/ARV, and know that there are so many people in this world that care about you. We really need to show the World, the Universe rather that our status doesn’t hamper our dreams to come true and to live life to the fullest. That we could not be a burden in our society and there should be no space for stigma and discrimination among us living with this virus. Please don’t let life pass you by because of your imperfections and fears. Do what you can. You may shock yourself with what you are capable of. I am here for you, and there are so many others here for you as well. You are not alone. ❤
[text_hash] => bdf3e8d9
)