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CHAPTER 4:
“I won’t mate with him.” I said for what felt like the thousandth time. “So he can stop sending people in here!”
This time it was Nico. Nico had entered the room and didn’t say much at all. I told him how stupid that was. I mean really? A cage?
They put me in a cage. A cage meant for horrible prisoners. Sure they gave me an actual mattress and blankets. They allowed me some books and even my headphones. But only headphones. When I asked for my phone, they said they couldn’t give it to me. I asked, ‘what am i supposed to do with just headphones’? They didn’t answer.
And by they, I mean Noah. Fucking Noah. Noah who dragged me from the clearing. Noah who tried to mate with me and I kicked his fucking balls in, and Noah who called my father and told him he would be putting me in a cage because I was being violent. FUCKING NOAH.
I’d been in the cage for about a week. I thought. It was hard to be sure when the cage was underneath my home and very little light got down here. Which also defeated the purpose of the books. How am I supposed to read without light? Noah said to shift so my vision was better. I asked how i was supposed to turn pages? He left.
He hadn’t been back since then. Just an endless stream of people trying to convince me that I should be happy, which surprisingly made me even unhappier. I would not mate him. They could send the goddess herself down here. It wouldn’t make a difference.
“I know you won’t, but it was my turn to come in here and bother you.” He assured me, grabbing the bars that separated us. “Everyone is getting restless. You’ve been down here too long. They have to let you out soon. It’s starting to seem wrong to the pack.”
“It is wrong!” I agreed. “So let me out!”
“They don’t want to do that either. They think you’re just shocked and need time and convincing.” He informed me. “They think you’re scared to… you know…”
“No, what?”
He widened his eyes, clearly not wanting to say it. He used his right hand to form a ring and his left hand extended the pointer finger. He slide his pointer inside the ring, deciding the crude gesture was better than saying it outloud. I groaned, both in disgust and frustration. “Yeah, i know it’s gross! At least you’re not up there hearing them talk about it!”
“It’s not about sex.” i sighed.
“I told them that. So they theorized something else…”
“What?”
“It’s going to piss you off.”
“Nico,” I cried, motioning to the space around me. “I’m in a cage right now! Like a dog!”
“They think you’re jealous of him.” He gave in.
“Of who?” I asked slowly.
“Our future alpha of course.”
I scoffed, rolling my eyes. My grip on the bars tightened. “I am not jealous of him.”
“I know that, but they don’t.” He told me. “They think you could be jealous that he’s going to be alpha or jealous that he’s bigger than you are, jealous that he won’t have to give birth to pups, jealous that-“
“How little they think of me then.” I cut him off, hanging my head.
“They just don’t know what to do. The elders, our parents, they’ve never had something like this happen.” He told me, wrapping his hand around mine. My grip on the bar slackened and I gave into the comfort he was trying to provide me. “They don’t want Noah to see you again until you agree to mating.”
“I’ll never agree.” I insisted. “And he’ll never be alpha.”
“Micah.” His face looked pained when I looked up, making me tense again.
“What is it?”
“They told me not to tell you, but I think they knew i’d tell you anyway. I think they’re hoping it will change your mind.” He said quickly.
“What is it?”
He gripped my hand a little tighter. “A lot of time is passing and- and it’s making the pack uneasy. The status of our future alpha is hanging in the balance and…” He looked at me pleadingly, “I’m not sure they’ll wait much longer for you to agree.”
“What do you mean?” I frowned. “They can’t make him Alpha without a mate. That’s law.”
“And they won’t break the law, Micah.” He let go of my hand. “He’ll come down here and mate you. You’ll give in eventually. Mates can’t resist that kind of thing.”
“What?”
“That’s what they’re saying at least. Ama is fighting it tooth and nail. She’s saying we can convince you. She doesn’t want you to be forced, even if you’ll give in after a minute or two. She wants your heart to be in it.”
“They’re going to let him rape me?” I asked bluntly, not liking how Nico sugar coated it. “If I don’t agree, they’ll let him come down here and make me submit?”
“They say it won’t be rape. Not really. They say the mate bond will make you enjoy it. You’ll want it to happen.”
“I don’t want it to happen, Nico.” I told him calmly. “Even if he messes with my head, even if my body wants it, I don’t. If he makes me, he will be raping me.”
Nico growled low in his throat, the thought upsetting him. He leaned over and pressed his head against the bars, his eyes squinted close. Before I could say another word, he was sobbing. His body shook, big fat tears rolling down his cheeks and connecting below his chin before they plopped on the ground.
He was scared for me.
“Shhh.” I pressed my head against the bars too, connecting our foreheads. “It’s okay.”
“This isn’t fair. No one will hear me. I want to protect you and help you, but they just tell me to come down here and convince you. Beg you to say yes. But even if you do say yes, it would be a lie.” He whimpered. “How could they condone this? How? You’ve always been selfless and kind. To think they would let this happen to you…”
“Nico,” I said sternly, “Don’t cry.”
“I can’t help it.” He sobbed. “You’re my brother. Your pain is my pain.”
“Nico.” I said again. “Look at me.”
“I can’t.” He kept his eyes closed. “I just can’t.”
“Look at me.” I grabbed his face. “Open your eyes.”
Reluctantly, he did as I asked. “I’m sorry, Micah.”
“Don’t be sorry.” I told him. I knew I was shaking. I knew I was scared. I knew he could tell. “I’m going to be okay.”
“But-“
“I’ve had the shit kicked out of me for months. I survived. I’ll survive this.” I told him, referencing our training, but we both knew it wasn’t the same. To be kicked and beaten was one thing. To be violated… that was another. “I am strong. We are strong.”
“I wish there was something I could do. I wish i could help you escape.”
“I wouldn’t.” I assured him. “I wouldn’t run no matter what. You know that.” He nodded. “Go back upstairs. Let them send the next person.”
“But… I don’t want to leave you here.” He looked more like my little brother now than he ever had. He may have towered over me. He may have been able to break me in half like a chopstick if he wanted, but when he looked at me I realized he was still just a young wolf. He was a teenager, but still a kid at heart. He shouldn’t be here with these horrible thoughts in his head.
“I’m going to be fine, Nico. Please trust me.”
———————
“Oh, Micah.”
“Ama!”
She rushed forward, pulling me into a hug through the bars. For the first time since this horrible mess started, I felt safe. “Are you alright? Let me look at you.” She pulled away, grabbing my face and twisting it side to side. She looked me over, attempting to catch sight of any possible injury i might have sustained since being locked in here. “You’re alright. Thank goodness.”
“Please, Ama. Have them let me out.” I begged her, gripping her hands tightly. “I’m so scared.” I admitted. “I don’t want to be down here.”
“Oh my baby.” She whispered, taking one of her hands and cupping my cheeks. “I hate to see you down here.”
“Then let me out.” I pleaded. “Please. Please let me out. Don’t let them…”
“Let them what, my heart?”
“Nico told me.” I told her. She didn’t seem surprised.
“I felt he would.” She told me, rubbing my cheek softly. “Don’t worry. I won’t let anything like that happen to you. It doesn’t matter what anyone says. They’ll have to kill me first.”
This thought comforted me. My mother would protect me. She wouldn’t let them hurt me. She was on my side, at least about this. I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew if she said it wouldn’t be done, then it wouldn’t. I trusted her. “I’m so sorry Ama.” I told her, shame filling me again. The last time I had spoken to this woman, the one fighting desperately to keep me safe, I had lied through my teeth. “Please forgive me.”
“Why, my angel?” She seemed sad as I brought this up. “Why are we here?”
“I can’t mate with him, Ama.” i told her. “And it’s not because i’m scared. It’s not because i’m jealous. It’s because he will make a terrible Alpha.”
“It is the will of the goddess that those who win the alpha battle will become the alpha and he won. You must accept that.” She said softly.
“He only won because my limbs wouldn’t move.” I confessed.
“What do you mean?”
“I couldn’t fight back. My wolf had just realized who he was and he froze up. He wouldn’t let me fight him. But I know that i can beat him. I feel many could beat him. To let him become alpha is to risk the safety of our pack.” I explained.
“You knew all that time ago?” She asked. I nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was scared. I didn’t want to end up here. I wanted to help the pack.”
“Help the pack?” She cried. “Micah, if you had told me, i’d have helped you. We wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“You want me to mate with him, even now.” I countered.
“I do.”
“That is why I couldn’t tell you.”
“Micah, I know what happened seems like a fluke, but we have to trust in the will of the goddess. She must have seen this and allowed it to happen for a reason.” She tried to assure me. “Noah is the other half of your heart. You’ll be happy with him. The decision is already made. The battle has been lost. What could you do now, short of challenging him to a fight to the death?”
Could I still do that, I wondered.
I stayed silent for a moment, trying to process a response for her. “He’s been cruel to me for years.”
“You’ll be surprised how easy it is to forgive him.” She insisted.
“Ama, you raised me to be strong.” i told her. “All my life, you’ve taught me integrity and faith. You and Apa have raised an Alpha.”
“A luna can be just as valuable.” She countered.
“But his decision will always be final.”
“He could make good decisions.”
“Can you look into my eyes and tell me he is better for the pack than Nico and I?” I asked her.
She looked into my eyes, holding my gaze. We were silent for a while, just mother and son trying to communicate. “I dreamed of the day you would find a mate.” She said instead. “The thought always made me happy and sad. Happy, because I knew you would be okay. Someone would always be there for you. I felt as if I wouldn’t have to worry anymore. I know you’re strong and can protect yourself, but I worried anyway. I think most mothers worry almost always. The sadness, i think, comes from knowing you’ll leave my home. I won’t see you as much anymore. There was a time when you were born, and you were so small, I spent every second with you. The thought of not seeing you, it breaks my heart.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I didn’t raise you to be an Alpha, Micah. I raised you to be a good man. I loved you and protected you and taught you because that is what a mother does.” She explained. “You don’t owe this pack anything. You don’t have to sacrifice anything for them. You don’t have to be an alpha. You can just be happy.”
“That didn’t answer my question.”
“You would be an excellent Alpha, Micah. I know that, but I thank the goddess you aren’t.” She confessed. “To be an alpha is a pressure I never wished on my children. I’m happy you and Nico are freed from this obligation.”
“Ama…”
“You’ll understand one day.” She let her hand fall from my cheek back to her side. “I think you’ve been bothered enough for one day.”
“Ama.” I said softly. “I love you.”
“I love you to, my heart.”
“Will you have Noah come see me?”
She was shocked. “Really? Are you sure?”
I smiled at her, sure in my response. “I am.”
“I’m so glad.” She told me. “I’m so happy for you, Micah.”
“I’m sorry I’m putting you through this, Ama.”
“No apologies.” She told me. “It will all be over soon.”
I hoped that were true.
—————–
I had been in the cage for hours. My mom had left, hugging me in happiness, and promised to return with Noah.
It seemed like so long ago. I wondered whether the sun was still up. What would it feel like when I finally went outside again? I was excited just thinking about it. As horrible as this cage was, it was also relaxing. There was no one to remind me of anything bad. I could just sit in my thoughts, content with the fact that i was doing the right thing. I could sit and think about happier times, hopefully a happier future.
I was so blissfully happy when they finally returned. They snapped me out of my happy thoughts with the sound of the basement door slamming open. I jumped up from my mattress, running to grip the bars.
“Micah!” Nico cried, rushing to me. He was followed by all the elders, including my parents. Noah was the last to enter. He looked at me, trying to read my face for some sign of how I must feel. I wondered what my face was giving away. “Are you okay?”
“I’m okay.” I assured my brother, clasping hands with him. “I told you i would be.”
“Nico, come here.” My mom called him away from me.
He seemed torn, not wanting to leave my side. “It’s alright. Go. I’m okay.”
He frowned, but did as I asked. Everyone came down the stairs, filing in one by own to create a half circle around my cage, facing me. Noah was the one to come toward me, leaving everyone to watch the interaction as if it were a play they had paid money to see.
“How are you feeling?”
“You locked me in a cage so, i’ve felt better.” I told him.
“Did I have another choice?”
“I’d like to think you had many.”
I thought he would look away when i said that, but he seemed anything but ashamed. “The cage seems to have worked. I heard you’re thinking a lot more rationally now.” He told me.
I smiled at him, happy for the first time in days. “You’re absolutely right Noah. Before you locked me in here, I was very confused. I was fighting something in me, something that was torn between what was good for me and what was good for the pack. It took this time alone, in contemplation, to realize that those things are the same.”
Noah finally cracked a smile. “So you agree?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.” I assured him. “Thank you, for making things clear for me.”
“Oh Micah…” He wrapped his hand around mine, seemingly pleased with everything I was saying.
“I know what I have to do now and it’s all thanks to you, Noah.” I told him.
“You’ll be happy, Micah. You really will be.” He chuckled, far happier than i’d ever seen him. His face gave me butterflies that tickled my stomach and throat. It wasn’t an entirely unpleasant feeling.
“I Micah, sired by Alpha Collin,” I saw as everyone visibly tensed.
“No! Micah, stop!” My mother ordered.
“What?” Noah frowned.
“challenge thee Noah, son of Neal!” I finished. “I challenge you!”
“Take it back!” My mom cried.
“There is no taking it back.” I said simply, still smiling.
“Is this even allowed?” I heard someone cry.
“This has never happened.” I heard Crescent declare. “But… there is no law against it.”
“But they’re mates!” “This can’t be done!” “It is against the will of the goddess!” Everyone was crying at once. Everyone but Noah, who was still staring at me.
“A second fight is a fight to the death.” I heard someone announce, as if we didn’t already know.
“A mate could never kill their mate.” “Impossible.” “It is not right.”
“Silence!” My father’s loud voice boomed, effectively shutting everyone up. “This… this must be discussed first. Everyone will return upstairs and all elders will stay for deliberation.”
Noah was still watching me, his eyes squinted like he was trying to see something that was difficult to make out. When everyone started to walk out, he lingered, still staring. “What?” I snapped.
Before he could respond they were beckoning for him to leave as well. “Nico, let your brother out.” My mom called, tossing him a key. “Please, for the life of me, do not cause any more trouble until this mess is sorted out.”
When it was just us, Nico unlocked the door, not even allowing me to step out before he wrapped me up in a hug, lifting my entire body off the floor. “Why would you do that?” He cried. “This is your life we’re talking about now!”
“I know.” i insisted. “And i’d sooner lose it than be locked in a cage waiting to be violated.”
“Micah-“
“Nico, I will win.” i assured him. “I know I will. Noah will die.”
———————-
“No one will die.” my dad declared.
“So there won’t be a fight?” Noah asked, sitting in the seat beside me, facing my father and his large desk.
“The rules are clear. A challenge must be met with a fight. Now, because you two are mates, it’s impossible to ask for a fight to the death.” My dad said.
“Why?”
They both looked at me like I was crazy. “It is unnatural for a wolf to take its mates life. We won’t allow that here. But, due to the circumstances, we’ll allow one more battle. After that, the decision stands. There will be no more challenges. The results of this fight are eternal.” My father continued, ignoring me. “The fight will take place before the whole pack in three days time. After that, regardless of the results, you two will acknowledge and accept that you will soon mate. Those are the terms. If either of you disagree, well then both of you forfeit the alpha title because no unmated wolf can rule.”
“I’m fine with the terms.” I said quickly.
“Really?” Noah asked. “That’s all it takes? One more fight and you’ll cooperate?”
“Of course.” I assured them both. “I stand by my word. I’ll respect the results and i’ll complete the mating ritual.”
Noah agreed shortly after me.
I wasn’t worried.
I knew I would win.
In three days, for sure, i would be alpha.
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