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CHAPTER 3:
“This isn’t going to work.” Nico grumbled, crinkling his nose as I rubbed myself with Ash. “You smell like a fucking vampire.”
“You’ll tell Ama you spilled this bottle you got in class for a project.” I insisted, handing him the now empty bottle. “This smell should be so strong, she can’t smell me.”
“She’ll be lucky if she ever smells again.” Nico gagged as I got into the closet. “This isn’t going to work.” He said again.
“Shush!” i whisper yelled as I heard footsteps approaching. “Follow the plan.” i mouthed as I closed his closet door.
“Nico!” Ama snapped, as I heard the door to his room fly open. “Where is your brother?”
“In the closet.” Nico said, making me stiffen. “I’m kidding. How should I know?”
“Watch your tone.” She growled, clearly on edge at my disappearance. I heard her sniff the air, most likely trying to see if he were telling the truth. I heard her cough. “Dear god, Nico, why does it smell like a freaking coven in here?”
“It’s ash mom.” He said, most likely showing her the empty bottle. “I was using it for a project and it spilled.”
“What kind of project?” She pried, making me stiffen again.
“Extra credit thing for Madame Arte. It’s about learning the scents of various enemies.” He bullshitted.
“Hmmm.” She lingered, still not fully convinced. “You tell me when you see Micah. He’s going to be there tonight, even if I have to drag him there. WHICH I shouldn’t have to. He could find his mate tonight. He should be more excited. You tell him that and then you hold him down and scream for me, alright?”
“Yes, Ama.” Nico promised. His room door closed but I stayed in the closet, knowing she would definitely pretend to leave to see if I were really here. “She’s gone. You can come out now.”
I opened the closet door, smiling at him. “Told you it would work.”
“Bullshit. Ten bucks says she’s calling madame Arte right now and asking if i’m telling the truth. You screwed me.” He accused. “And for what? Mom’s going to chew us both out and Noah is going to find out tonight anyway.”
“No he won’t i’ll be hiding. And even if somehow Ama finds me and makes me go, I smell like ten vampires right now. He won’t be able to figure it out.” I insisted.
“Mom’s still going to destroy me.”
“You’re a good brother.”
“Nico!” I heard Ama yell from down the hall. “You have a lot of explaining to do! Lying to me about an assignment! Where is your brother?”
“I told you!” He cried as I dashed for the window. “She’s going to catch you!”
“No one is going to catch me tonight!” I cried, climbing out and falling the three stories to the ground, landing on my feet.
“Micah!” I heard my mom scream, but I was already running.
—————-
When I was little, I dreamed about finding my mate. I didn’t really have anyone particular in mind. Girl boy, both, neither… I didn’t care. I just wanted a person to call mine, like all little wolves did.
I dreamt my mate was kind and forgiving. They believed in my dreams and never looked down on me for being small. They recognized my strength, respected it, and I did the same. We would find each other in a crowd during our first perigee-syzygy of our eighteenth year alive, as almost all wolves did. We would run to each other and embrace. We weren’t quite as bold as the wolves who would matre right then and there in the open field, especially since an alpha couple had to wait for the traditional mating ritual in front of the pack to mate. It would be a shotgun ritual though, neither one of us willing to wait more than a say or two. We would be ecstatic, not wanting to waste another second being apart.
They would stand beside me when I became Alpha, as my luna, as my equal. We would only have one pup because we’d both know how tough pregnancy was. And we’d love that pup. We’d raise it to be an alpha and then one day, after ending the war, I would step down and let our pup take over. My mate and I would grow old together, slowly but surely, and when we were old we’d look back on that first moment we laid eyes on eachother and saw that string connecting us. We’d cherish that moment forever.
And yet here I was, alone in the woods a couple hours before my first real perigee-syzygy, absolutely dreading the thought of finding my mate. Noah was going to have his first perigee-syzygy as an eighteen year old as well, meaning he’d try to find me. I had to make sure I was gone. I had to make sure i was far enough away that he couldn’t sense me, and then tomorrow we would all be weaker, and he wouldn’t be able to tell and I would be safe for a few more months.
It was a temporary solution for sure, but I only needed a little time. My wolf just needed a bit more training. And then i would challenge him again, this time to the death. No one would be the wiser. I would kill my mate and life would go on.
I hid in the woods, high up in the tallest tree, watching as the sun began to set.
It was beautiful. The sky swirled between yellow, orange, purple, and red. Pink clouds hid the sun away, casting a soft shadow on the earth. In a couple minutes the moon would be out. My pack would meet in the clearing by my house, buzzing with anticipation. Eighteen year old and older unmated wolves would be trying to focus, concentrate on their wolf inside and pray that tey feel a tug. The mated wolves would stand on the outskirts and watch, reminiscing of their own moment. The wolves old enough to witness the perigee syzygy, but not old enough to experience it would hang out on the porch steps of my home, watching in amusement and subtle longing. Occasionally, one of them would find a mate who was older than them and sensed it. Everyone would giggle and laugh. The children would be inside grinding chalk that the elders would bring out and toss into the air, marking mated couples. It was a beautiful tradition, filled with meaning and happiness.
I prayed it would end soon.
When the sky turned black, I felt a knot form in my stomach. I had thought watching the moon rise into the sky would help me calm down. Afterall, I was hidden. No one would find me. But once the moon was in the sky, I began to feel like i couldn’t breath. I looked down at my body, watching as red string appeared in my vision, wrapping around my body like a python snake. I tried to brush it off, but my fingers couldn’t budge it. It wasn’t actually there after all. Only I could see it.
And Noah…
“Micah.” I almost fell out of the tree at the sound of my name being called from below me. “You get down right now.” My mother hissed through gritted teeth. I looked down, barely making out her form from how high I was. “Don’t even think about running again. This time, I will chase you down.”
I believed her. I could feel the frustration of her wolf in the air, making mine whimper in response. She wasn’t just my mom after all. She was my luna and she was angry. My wolf begged to obey her. “I don’t want to go Ama.”
“What do you mean?” She cried, motioning me down again. I sighed, but obliged. I knew if I ran, she would catch me and then the outcome would be much worse. “This is a joyous occasion Micah. Don’t be nervous.”
I reached the ground, guilt weighing heavy on my shoulders. I wanted to be honest with her. I really did, but I couldn’t guarantee she would be on my side. In fact, I was pretty certain she wouldn’t be. It was hard enough convincing Nico. “How did you find me?” I asked instead.
“You smell like a leech right now.” My mom grimaced, grabbing the bottom of my shirt and pulling it off. “This is no way to smell for your mate,but there’s nothing we can do now. Let’s hope they can smell you through that demon cologne you put on.” Yeah lets not, I said in my head. “Are you ready?”
“No.” I told her, hoping that single word would convey to her just how much I didn’t want to go.
“I know it can be scary, Micah, but it’s so worth it.” She sighed, pushing my hair back from my face in an attempt to make me more presentable. “Without finding your father, you wouldn’t even be here. This is a blessing. You’ll realize that the second you lay eyes on them.”
I nodded, but deep down I wanted to say I had already laid my eyes on him, and it was not a blessing. I was cursed.
My mom grabbed my hand, half to comfort me and half to make sure I didn’t try to run again. She led me out of the forest, away from safety, and all the way back home. “I’m not going to punish you today, because this is a beautiful moment, but you will remember to respect me, Micah. And do not ever, EVER, tell your brother to lie to me again. Do you understand?” My mom chastised me just as we reached the clearing. “Now go.” She pushed my back, sending me into the crowd of excited bodies.
The moment hadn’t started yet for most wolves. Sometimes it took an hour or so for everyone to really begin to feel the pull of their mate, so everyone simply stood around talking to one another. I spotted Nico near the outskirts, looking especially upset. I made my way toward him, careful to try not to cross Noah in the process. I couldn’t see him in a crowd this large and I was glad. The more bodies that separate us, the easier dodging him would be.
“Micah!” Nico cried when he saw me, rushing to my side. “Mom caught you. I told you.”
“Shut up.” i groaned, looking around to see if I saw her, but I didn’t. Most likely she was inside gathering chalk for when the events finally started. “It’s plan B now.”
“And plan B is?”
“I avoid him like crazy.” I said simply. Nico looked at me like I had grown another head. “What?”
“You’ve seen these before Micah. Everyone’s rushing around and then when people start finding their mates, the crowd thins out and-“
“So i’ll stay on the other side of the clearing at all times, no matter what.” I told him.
“How are you going to do that? You’d have to know where he is at all times. You’d have to be running circles around the whole clearing to…” He trailed off, narrowing his eyes at me. “No.”
“Please Nico?” I begged.
“I am not running laps all night for your plan that, once again, won’t work! I already got my ass handed to me by Ama.” Nico argued. “Plus, you don’t think it’ll seem weird that i’m running in circles around everyone.”
“You just say your wolf feels restless because of the perigee-syzygy. No one will think anything weird.” I assured him.
“Micah-“
“Please, Nico. This is all I have left. This is my only chance.” I grabbed his hands. “I need your help.”
Nico groaned, yanking his hands away to rub his temples. “You’re the worst big brother ever!” He declared. “I’ll howl every time you need to move. There’s going to be so much howling no one will notice. You need to make sure you’re listening for my howl.”
“One, five second howl mean cross the clearing. Two howls means go left, and a ten second howl with no break means going right.” I Told him.
“Sure, that won’t totally backfire.” He sighed, taking off to the edge of the clearing. I watched as he shifted, his body erupting in a four legged beast with fur before he took off running. I waited, listening for him to locate Noah.
He howled, one five second howl that caused a chorus of others to follow. I smiled, rushing to get to the other side of the large clearing. This will work, I told myself. It had to work.
————————-
I knew the exact moment the festival really began.
I felt a shift in the air, a subtle electricity that made my skin tingle. I looked around, watching as everyone in the clearing seemed to tense. There was absolute silence for a few seconds, as if everyone had simultaneously decided to hold their breath.
No one moved. It was like everyone was waiting for someone else to move first. Everyone was waiting… and then… dear god and then…
A wolf directly to my left howled, the sound making my entire body jump. My chest felt tight as my heart tried to thump its way out of my ribcage. “She’s here.” The wolf chuckled, his entire face breaking into a smile. He took off across the clearing, howling all the way. And then, in a second, I saw the clearing part to reveal an embracing couple. They nuzzled one another, hugging tightly.
My heart ached at the sight. Happiness… something i could never have.
It was at that moment that everyone sprung into action. Their bodies were being pulled by an invisible force, desperately trying to search someone out. I took a couple steps back, toward the edge of the clearing.
I heard Nico’s paws as they pounded the ground. I turned, watching him as he let out a single howl. 1,2,3,4,5… I crossed the clearing quickly, trying not to touch anyone. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. I didn’t want anyone to see me.
As I crossed the clearing, the elders started to toss the chalk in the air. I watched asit wade clouds in the air and then began to settle on everyone’s skin. I looked down at my arms, now sprinkled in reds and oranges. I thought back to all the years I watched in excitement, as the chalk was thrown and covered everyone. I had dreamt of the moment it would touch me. Now, it felt like a dirty mark I just wanted to get rid of. I didn’t want to be here anymore. Maybe it was time for me to sneak off and then tomorrow I could tell everyone I didn’t feel any pull at all.
But I did feel the pull. It was like a tightening in my chest. I imagined red strings wrapped around inside of me. It covered my heart and my lungs and my stomach. It yanked violently at me, trying to force me to walk forward, but I couldn’t follow it. Even my wolf, who I assumed would be clawing at my insides at this point, sat in pained silence. We both knew better.
“Why are you out here, Micah?”
I jumped for the third time today. It seemed today was the day for sneaking up on Micah. “Ama.” I sighed, realizing I had made it to the absolute edge of the clearing without realizing. “I… I was leaving.”
“But… you didn’t feel a pull?” She asked me, concern clear on her face. It was very rare for a wolf to not find its mate on the first festival after its eighteenth birthday. Often times not finding your mate meant something very grave, such as your mates untimely death.
I shook my head and looked down, hoping she saw that as a sign of sadness and not as me trying to lie. I knew if we made eye contact, or she heard my voice, she would know instantly. I felt bad lying to her, especially when she pulled me into a hug. She hurt for me, as my mother. I had hurt her with my lie.
“It’s okay, micah.” She said softly, rubbing my head. “I… I know this must hurt you, but I wouldn’t give up hope. The next festival… maybe…” She trailed off, not wanting to lie to me. That made it even worse. Here I was, lying to the greatest mother in the world, who couldn’t bear to lie to me. I reminded myself of why I was doing all of this.
Maybe some people, including my mom, would think I was acting irrationally. Afterall, he was my mate. The goddess had put us together, in all her infinite knowledge. I was destined to fall in love with him. We were meant to be happy and grow old together. It was practically guaranteed so why was I fighting it?
I guess the answer was that I just didn’t think my own happiness was that important. Sure, happiness would be great. A mate would be great, but if that mate meant that my pack would suffer, how could I possibly go forward? My people would die with Noah as Alpha and I would be too lovesick to want to argue. That’s what mating did. It made you soft and malleable and weak to your partner. It’s what kept mates together and I… I just couldn’t bring myself to put falling in love over the lives of innocent people.
This wasn’t about ego. I wasn’t trying to prove any point. I just knew, deep down in the very core of my being, that the war needed to end. The two races needed to learn to live together. I also knew I was the only one who would be willing to compromise. My people were loyal. They would always fight if their alpha told them to… and they would die for that same reason.
In the grand scheme of things, a broken heart, a single life, was a small price to pay when it meant saving countless more. “Please, Ama, can I go?” I asked her, praying she would take pity on me, the poor little wolf with no mate.
“Micah…” She released me, sighing softly. “Alright.”
I tried not to seem too happy. “Thank you, Ama.” I was ecstatic. I could finally escape.
When I went to walk past her she grabbed me again. I finally made eye contact with her, confused by her sudden change. “Not yet. We have to be here, the whole Alpha family. It’s an important moment.”
“What do you mean?” i frowned, as she turned me to face the clearing.
“Tonight, Noah will find his mate and it will mark the beginning of the transition of power. Once he is mated, he will be ready to take over for your father at the Next Aphelion. And his mate… they will be our new luna.” She reminded me. “It’s important we see that moment.”
“Wait…” i trailed off, dread filling my entire body.
“He’s having some trouble. He keeps zig zagging. Most likely his mate keeps bouncing around.” My mom pointed out, lifting her finger to point at a figure on the other side of the clearing. Even from this far, I could see his eyes closed, head tilted up, trying to focus on where he was actually being pulled.
“But, this could take all night. What if he doesn’t find his mate tonight?” I asked.
“He will. They’re here and he can feel it.”
“But if they keep moving…”
“The pull will get stronger, much more forceful. It will drag him if it has to.” She informed me. “The night is young and so the feeling is still weak, but i’d give it another hour at most. Eventually, he’ll see a string.”
“A string?” I frowned, feeling a lump form in my stomach.
“A red string, remember? We told you about it when you were kids. The string connects two mates together. One need only follow it.” She reminded me. “Once he sees it, well this will finish up quite quickly.”
I looked into the clearing, the crowd, and watched as my pack ran around in wild abandon, some finding each other, other waiting for the pull to get stronger. People were running back and forth, trying to see if the pull felt particularly strong in one area. Some wolves were even mating right there, in front of everyone. Most people were in various states of undress, wanting their scent to be strong enough for their mate to sniff it out.
Noah, specifically, was practically naked. He had on nothing at all, but a tight pair of boxer briefs. He definitely seemed like the type to just mate right here, something a future alpha definitely wasn’t allowed to do. I stared at him, wondering how I would feel if I felt no obligation to my pack at all. I guess I would think he was handsome. He was tall after all, with a chiselled jawline, and muscles i’d always envy. He was clean cut, fresh looking, pleasing to the eye. Aesthetically, he was okay.
Personality wise, he was vile. He was crude, rude, and unintelligent. He was all surface, no substance. He had picked on my brother and I since I could remember. Would that have mattered to me at all if circumstances were different? I wasn’t sure, but I felt like it would.
It was at that moment I felt the grip on my insides tighten even more, almost making me gasp for air. “Micah?” My mom questioned, noticing my sudden jolt.
“I… I’m going to find Nico.” I told her.
“Oh, alright, but don’t leave. That’s an order as your luna.” She told me. I nodded, feeling my wolf bristle. He knew we were leaving now. He just didn’t like the thought that we would be disrespecting his luna to do it.
“Okay.” I agreed, turning around and walking the edge of the clearing, waiting for Nico to lap me. When he did catch up to me, I motioned for him to stop. His wolf was panting, ready for a break. I walked toward him, at the very edge of the woods. He shifted back to his human form, grabbing the shorts he had discarded on the bushes.
“What’s up?” He asked, sweating bullets from all his exercise.
“I’m going to leave.” I told him.
“What?” Nico shook his head as he said it. “Ama said that was okay?”
“I’ll deal with that tomorrow, but I have to leave now. She said the pull will get worse. As long as i’m here, he’ll find me.” I explained.
“Okay, but now you’ve told me and made me an accomplice.”
“She won’t know.”
“Ama knows everything, Micah. I’m surprised she hasn’t figured this out yet.”
“She thinks I have no mate.” i told him. “I told her I didn’t feel a pull.”
“And she bought that?” He asked. I nodded. “That must have crushed her.”
“She looked devastated.” I agreed, shame rising back up again.
“You know… you don’t have to do this.” He told me. “I… everyone… we would understand. You don’t have to give this up for us.”
“I do.” I disagreed. “Because if I don’t, people will die. Good people. Our people.”
“There might be a different way…”
“And what way would that be?” I asked. “I’m all ears.”
He hugged me, realizing there were no more words. We both knew what I was giving up. We both knew I had to. “Good luck.” He said, pulling away. I hesitated in that moment, my body not wanting to move. I frowned, trying to will my limbs to work. “Micah?” Nico asked, concerned.
I looked down at my body, the red string clear as day. “Oh no.” I cried. “Oh fuck.”
“What’s wrong?”
I jumped when I heard the howl… his howl. “He sees it too.” i said, trying to get myself to run. I knew Noah would follow this string right to me. I had to run. I had to escape.
“Sees what?” Nico asked, not following.
“Drag me.” I told him. “Grab me and drag me away. Eventually, i’ll be able to run. I just need some distance.”
“Drag you?”
“Drag me!” I yelled. He grabbed my arms instinctually, pulling them toward him. “Hurry!”
I heard the howl again, much closer. Nico had gripped me under my arms, dragging my limp body to the edge of the forest. “You’re heavier than normal.” He groaned.
“I’m completely limp.” I explained, feeling my heart beat pick up. I would make it. I could already feel my limbs begin to unlock. Just a couple more feet to the treeline, and then I could run. I would make it. I would-
I screamed when he howled again, this time right beside me. Nico released me like a sack of flower and I tumbled to the floor, landing on the grass with a thud. I looked up, my stomach turning, my heart beating, my body aching.
“Micah.” So many people had said my name today, but the sound of it leaving his mouth suddenly satisfied me more than anything in my life ever had before. “It’s you.”
I looked to the side, searching for Nico who had already backed far away. I saw our mom make it to his side, gripping his shoulders tightly. The look she gave me was a mix between happiness and disappointment. She was glad, so glad I had found my mate, but hurt that I had lied to her.
I looked away from them and back up to the guy standing just in front of me. He felt even bigger from my spot on the ground, sending a shiver down my spine. He held his hand out to me, trying to help me up. I eyed it warily, wondering if standing up on my own was even an option. He looked a couple seconds away from picking me up like a baby. I groaned, grabbing his hand and allowing him to pull me to my feet and a couple steps closer to him, practically chest to chest. “This is wonderful.” He said, clearly forgetting all the homophobic shit he’d said to me all our lives. “This is perfect. You’re perfect.” He looked over to the pack who was watching us in awe, waiting on bated breath for his assessment. “I’m so pleased.” He announced.
The people around us cheered. The sound made me feel so alone. It was actual confirmation that no one would be on my side in this. I was on my own.I looked around at all the smiling faces, wondering if they would be smiling if they knew Noah would lead them all to their deaths.
“Micah,” he said again, drawing my attention back to him. “I’m so happy. Aren’t you?” He was still holding my hand, running his thumb across my knuckles, the knuckles that desperately wanted to punch him in the face. My wolf was growling, almost snarling at him, desperate for him to back away.
I pulled my hand away, shaking my head. His smile fell, seemingly into an expression of annoyance. He grabbed it again, pulling me toward him. I tried to yank it away, but his grip was much firmer this time, almost crushing. He smiled at me again, almost as a warning.
I narrowed my eyes, pulling my head back to really look up at him. His smile seemed to soften at that, just as i scoffed and spit directly in his face.
I heard everyone stop their cheerful background noise, suddenly must more interested in what was going on. He let go of my hand and I instantly took a large step back. His hand reached up to wipe his face, smearing the spit on his hand. He looked at it, an unreadable expression on his face.
When he looked up, the smile was gone. He was openly glaring at me now. We sized each other up, neither one of us moving. Finally, i got tired of it. I was going to walk away. I took a step back again, trying to create more distance. My next step was cut off when my legs were swiped out from under me, making me yelp.
I was slung over his shoulder before I could even realize it. I felt my wolf trying to claw its way out. A snarl escaped my mouth as i thrashed in his grip. “Let me go!” I growled out, frustrated both at him for touching me and myself for letting him get the upper hand. If it was a battle of strength, I would always lose. I lost this fight the second I let my guard down and tried to walk away. “Let go, now!”
I screamed and clawed at his back, my nails scraping skin off of his bare back. No one made a move to help me. They all watched, in silent shock, as he restrained me. I snapped and snarled, trying to wriggle free as he began to walk.
The crowd parted for us and I screamed louder. Whatever was about to happen, I was going to put up as big of a fight as possible.
Hiding had failed. I was dumb to think it wouldn’t. I wasn’t a hider after all.
I was a fighter.
let me now what you think
-MADAME
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