Array
(
[text] =>
“I don’t want to fucking do this! I can’t!” Vic yells, storming out of the room with Hayley following behind him.
“Vic, you can do this. Just give it a try.” Hayley pleads.
Hayley is our tutor. Vic was having a tutoring session before me but it doesn’t seem to be going to plan.
“I can’t! I’m fucking stupid!” Vic yells before rushing upstairs.
Hayley turns to me sighing.
“We’ll get started soon Kellin. I’ll just talk to your Mom first.” She explains and I nod.
She goes into the dining room where Mama Fuentes is and I hear them start talking.
“He’s not even trying. I don’t even think he looked at the textbook.” Hayley sighs.
“All his teachers said the same thing. He just sits in class and draws in his book. He’s really smart, I know he is. He’s always been a straight A student. Such a smart boy.” Mama Fuentes explains.
“He doesn’t seem to think so. He keeps calling himself stupid.” Hayley mumbles.
“Why does he do this? Why does he put himself down like this?” Mama Fuentes sighs.
“I don’t know Viv. He seems a little depressed to me. Does he have many friends?” Hayley asks.
“No.” Mama Fuentes responds.
“Do people bully him?”
“I honestly don’t know. I don’t know why he’s like this. He won’t talk to me or anyone.” Mama Fuentes sighs.
“He might just be having a bad day. I’ll come back tomorrow and give him another try. What about Kellin? What’s his learning like?” She asks.
“He’s definitely behind but for someone who didn’t go to school for many years, he’s actually really smart. From what I’ve seen, he loves to learn.” She explains and I smile at her kind words.
“Well, we’ll get started right away.” Hayley chirps before coming back into the room.
“Ready to get started, Kellin?” She asks and I nod eagerly.
—
Hayley goes home and I sigh exhausted.
“Work hard, Kellin?” Papa asks and I nod rubbing my head a little.
“Where’s Vic?” I ask, not having seen him in a few hours.
“Bathroom. He’s been in there for a while. I don’t know when he’ll come out.” Papa explains and I nod.
“Why don’t you take the lock off the door?” I asks curiously.
“In a way, it might be good for Vic. At least he’s escaping for a little bit while he’s in there. I couldn’t take that away from him.” Papa explains and I nod.
That seems reasonable.
“Am I allowed to go talk to him?” I ask, just wanting to see if Vic’s okay.
“If you want, don’t expect him to be cooperative though.” He nods.
I smile and say goodbye to Papa before heading upstairs.
“Vic, are you okay?” I ask, knocking on the bathroom door.
“I’m fine.” He sniffs.
“Can I come in?” I ask. “Please.”
“Uh, j-just hold on. Give me a minute.” He says sounding panicked.
There’s a lot of crashing and shuffling coming from inside the bathroom before I hear the lock click and the door opens. Vic pulls me through and closes the door behind me. He walks over to the bathtub and climbs in. I smile softly and climb in with him, facing towards him. It’s obvious that he’s been crying and for some reason he’s shaking.
“Are you okay?” I ask again.
He smiles and grabs my hands before linking his fingers with mine.
“I wasn’t, but I am now that you’re here.” He whispers, making my stomach do a weird flippy thing.
I can notice him still shaking and I just want to make him feel better but I don’t know how.
My eyes wander to his sleeve and I swallow as I see red seeping through the gray fabric. I swallow hard and let go of his hand before I gently grab his arm and before he can see what I’m doing, I gently push his sleeve up. I gasp at the fresh, bleeding cuts and he yanks his arm away. Vic looks down and closes his eyes as tears start falling from them. I want to cry myself but I don’t.
“You’re not stupid.” I whisper.
“I am.” He chokes out, looking back at me. “I’m so fucking stupid.”
“You’re not. You just need to give things ago. You can’t give up before you try them.” I explain.
“I give up because I know I’m going to fail. I fail at everything. I’m a fuck-up.” He sobs.
I frown and climb onto his lap then wrap my arms around him tightly.
“I don’t know why you put yourself down so much or why you’re so sad all the time but I want to make you feel better because you’re really sweet and you don’t deserve to feel so sad. Is there anything I can do to make you feel okay?” I ask
He holds me tighter and leans his head against my chest.
“Just don’t leave.” He squeaks out.
I smile and nod.
I don’t know what he meant by that. Whether he meant right now or ever but one thing’s for sure, I’m not leaving, I’m staying here.
—
Vic hasn’t said a word to me ever since we were in the bathroom.
Vic ended up falling asleep in the bathtub but I stayed with him until Mama knocked on the door and called us down for dinner. Vic hasn’t spoken to me since he woke up. He’s barely even looked at me.
It’s probably nothing but when I asked him if he was okay, it was as if he didn’t even hear me.
Now I’m lying in bed worrying about all of this. I’m tired but I can’t sleep knowing that Vic’s mad at me. I don’t know what I did wrong but it must be something.
I glance over at his bed. He’s on his side facing away from me but I can tell that he’s not sleeping.
“Vic, can I sleep with you?” I ask, hoping that it’d work.
He takes a little while to answer then he sighs.
“I think you should sleep in your own bed. You’re a big boy.” He mumbles.
“Oh, o-okay. Goodnight Vic.” I squeak out hopefully but he doesn’t reply.
I’ve done something wrong. What did I do? Why does he hate me?
“Vic, are you mad at me?” I ask, shakily.
He sighs and turns the lamp on before getting out of bed. He grabs his shoes and put them on before going over to his wardrobe and getting out a jacket. He puts it on and turns to me.
“I’m going out. I’ll be back in a few hours. And no, I’m not mad at you.” He mutters before leaving the room.
I listen to his feet patter down the stairs then the front door opens and shuts.
I frown and get out of bed. I don’t think I can sleep in a room by myself. It just reminds me of being back at my parents house. I leave the room and go down the hall to Mama and Papa’s room. I quietly creak the door open. I go around to the side of the bed where Mama is sleeping.
“Mama,” I whisper gently shaking her awake.
“What is it Kells?” She asks sitting up a little.
“Can I sleep with you?” I ask and she smiles moving over.
I climb into the bed and she pulls the duvet over me.
“Goodnight Sweetie.” She whispers.
“Goodnight Mama.” I smile and she runs her fingers through my hair until I fall asleep.
[text_hash] => b69d73c9
)