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I wake up not feeling so well at all. I sit up holding my stomach, feeling so sick. It’s still dark outside so I’m guessing it’s really late, or really early. I groan and let out a soft whimper. Vic sits up from his bed and switches the lamp on.
“Kells, what’s wrong?” He asks immediately.
“I-I feel sick.” I whimper and he sighs softly.
He gets out of his bed and comes over to me. He presses the back of his hand against my forehead then his eyes go wide.
“You’re burning up.” He breathes as he slides his hand under my legs then the other around my back as he lifts me up.
He carries me out of the room and downstairs into the living room. He places me on the sofa then leans down next to me.
“Are you going to throw up?” He asks and I nod feeling it building up in my stomach.
He rushes away and I wait holding my stomach. He returns with a bucket and sits me up. I take the bucket as I feel the spew rise in my throat before it exits my mouth and spills into the bucket. Vic rubs my back as I cough up the vomit. When I finish, Vic takes the bucket and places it down before placing the back of his hand on my forehead again.
“I need to cool you down.” He murmurs to himself but truthfully, I feel freezing. I’m shivering because I’m so cold.
He leaves again and I just sit there rubbing my arms, wishing that my headache would go away. He returns once again with a wet washcloth. He sits on the sofa next to me and places the cold, wet fabric over my forehead.
“V-Vic, I’m c-cold.” I mumble, my teeth chattering.
“I know but you have a fever and I need to cool you down or we’ll have to go to the hospital.” Vic explains.
“Okay.” I murmur in understanding as I continue to rub my arms in attempt to warm myself up.
“Come here.” He whispers, opening his arms and I crawl into them.
His body heat almost instantly makes me comfortable. He rubs my arms that are still covered in goosebumps and I rest my head on his warm chest. He picks up the TV remote and turns the TV on. The light illuminates the dark room and Vic starts flicking through the channels.
“Tell me when to stop.” He murmurs.
It gets to The Looney Toons Show and I tell Vic to stop. He does so and I notice him give me an adoring smile. He continues to rub my arms as he holds me. Watching TV and being in his arms, relaxes me and I begin to feel better. I still feel sick but I don’t feel as panicked about it.
“I’m sorry.” Vic whispers.
“Why?” I ask confused glancing at him.
“You’re sick because I left you out in the rain. I’m sorry.” He apologizes again.
“It’s not your fault.” I frown. “It rained. I stood in it. It’s my fault.”
Vic sighs and runs his fingers through my hair gently.
“No, it’s my‒”
I push my finger to his lips so he can’t talk.
“It’s no one’s fault. Now shush. I’m trying to watch cartoons.” I whisper.
He chuckles and nods, giving in. After that, Vic plays with my hair as I watch TV and before long I fall asleep in his arms.
—
When I wake up, I’m no longer in Vic’s arms. I’m lying on the sofa, a pillow under my head and a blanket thrown over me. Mama Fuentes is trying to stick something in my ear making me let out a confused whimper.
“Hey, you’re okay. I’m just checking your temperature.” She explains softly and I nod, closing my eyes again.
I hear something beep and then Mama Fuentes sighs although it sounds relieved.
“It’s only 99.6 now.” Mama Fuentes says to someone.
“It was pretty high last night. I managed to cool it down.” I hear Vic say and that’s when I open my eyes again.
Vic smiles down at me and I notice Mama Fuentes raise her eyebrows in surprise at Vic.
“Hey buddy, how’re you feeling?” He asks softly.
I can’t take my eyes off the dark bruise on his cheek. It looks a lot worse that it did yesterday.
“Better.” I whisper truthfully. “Still bad. But better.”
My head aches and I feel queasy. My throat hurts and my nose feels blocked but it’s runny at the same time. At least my temperature’s okay and I don’t feel like I want to throw up.
“That’s good. I’m going to head off to school. You just stay here and rest, okay?” Vic says and I nod, giving him a small smile.
He gently ruffles my hair before he walks off. Why does everyone ruffle my hair?
“Vic, we’re talking about what happened to your face later.” Mama Fuentes calls and Vic doesn’t reply.
A few seconds later, I hear the front door click shut, indicating that he’s gone.
“I haven’t seen that boy smile in a long time.” She whispers to herself.
I don’t comment on that. I start coughing, not being able to stop myself and Mama Fuentes sits me up, rubbing my back.
“Would you like some tea, Honey? It might make you feel a bit better.” Mama Fuentes asks.
“I’ve never had tea before.” I murmur.
“Oh, I think you’ll love it. I’ll make you some honey and lemon tea. It’s good for your throat and it’ll help unblock your sinuses.” She explains and I nod.
She then gets up and leaves the room. I rub my head softly, hoping to get rid of this headache. I notice that the TV’s still on, it now playing SpongeBob Square Pants. I watch it until Mama Fuentes walks into the room, holding a steaming mug in her hand. She sits on the sofa next to me and hands me the mug.
“Careful, it’s hot.” She says and I nod.
I bring the brim of it up to my lips and blow away the steam before carefully taking a sip of the warm liquid. The flavor travels over my taste buds and I instantly decide that I really like tea. Plus, I feel my headache start to clear and I can breathe through my nose a little easier.
“Mmmm, this is really nice and I feel a little better already. Thank you Mama Fuentes.” I smile.
“It’s no problem, Kell.” She smiles. “I got you; some tissues.” She points to the box on the coffee table. “A hot water bottle, another blanket if you need it, some water and some snacks if you get hungry. If you need anything else, don’t be afraid to ask.”
I nod and she kisses my forehead.
“I also got you some medicine to make you feel better. Have you taken medicine before?” She asks and I shake my head truthfully. She raises her eyebrows surprised. “Okay, well, I’m going to warn you now, it doesn’t taste good at all. But you need to take all of it so you get better, okay?”
I nod and watch her take a small cup and a bottle that’s filled with white liquid. She pours a little bit of the liquid into the cup then she hands it to me. I look at it hesitantly. How bad is it going to taste?
“I’ll count you down. On three just drink it.” She says and I nod.
“One, two, three.” I swallow hard before tipping my head back and pouring the liquid into my mouth.
I nearly want to spit it out but I don’t. I swallow, screwing up my face in the process. It was worse than I thought. I quickly drink some tea to wash down the taste.
“You’ll need to have some more later.” Mama Fuentes says and I frown the thought.
She takes the small cup out of my hand and places it down along with the bottle of medicine. She then wraps her arm around my shoulder and I rest my head on her shoulder as I start to watch TV again.
“Do you like cartoons?” Mama Fuentes asks and I nod. “How often did you watch TV when you lived with your parents?”
“Not very often. But sometimes when Mother and Father weren’t home, I’d watch TV.” I explain.
“Why do you call them ‘Mother’ and ‘Father’? Were you not allowed to call them Mom and Dad?” Mama Fuentes asks and I shrug.
“I’m wasn’t allowed to call them Mother and Father either. I had to call them Sir and Ma’am.” I explain. “They told me that they never wanted to be my parents so I wasn’t allowed to address them as my parents.”
I notice tears in Mama Fuentes’ eyes and I instantly feel bad. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong?
“Oh Honey.” Mama Fuentes sniffs, wrapping both her arms around me tightly. “I don’t see why anyone wouldn’t want to be your parents. You’re such a wonderful boy. Kellin, I want you to just call me Mama, Mom or whatever you’re comfortable with because if those horrible people don’t want to be your parents then Papa and I would be glad to be.”
“Really?” I squeak out, on the verge of tears myself.
“Yes, yes, of course.” She breathes.
“Thank you.” I choke out, sniffing away my tears.
“No, don’t thank me Kellin. You’re getting everything you deserve.” She whispers and I nod.
She pulls away and wipes her eyes.
“Drink your tea, watch your cartoons, rest. I’m going to do some cleaning.” She announces and I nod.
She then kisses my forehead before leaving. I watch cartoons for a few hours before I get bored and start craving company. Feeling a lot better than I did this morning, I get off of the sofa and start walking around the house, looking for Mama. I think Papa went to work or something because I haven’t seen him all day. I find Mama sitting at the dining table reading a magazine. She notices me come in and smiles at me, putting her magazine down.
“You look so much better. Do you think you’ll be better by tomorrow?” She asks and I shrug, taking a seat.
“I think so. I feel a lot better.” I admit and she nods.
“That’s good.”
“Mama, can I ask you something?” I murmur.
“Of course, what is it?” She chirps.
“Mama, what’s a faggot?” I ask, biting my lip, preparing myself to get yelled at or something but that doesn’t happen.
Mama looks at me shocked for a minute but then answers the question.
“It’s a very mean word for a gay person. Did someone call you that?” She asks sternly and I shake my head.
She looks as if she’s think for a minute before she raises her eyebrows slightly.
“Did someone call Vic that?”
I’m not sure whether I’m allowed to answer truthfully. Vic said that I wasn’t allowed to tell Mama and Papa about them hurting him but does the name-calling count?
“Kellin, did someone call Vic a faggot?” Mama asks more stern when I don’t answer.
I start to silently freak out. If I don’t answer then she’s going to be mad at me but if I do, then Vic might be mad at me.
“I-I’m not sure if I can say.” I whisper, finding it a little hard to breathe.
“What do you mean?” Mama asks me.
“Vic said, I c-can’t tell you. He told me n-not to.” I whisper, swallowing hard but my throat is really dry and I can barely breathe.
“Has Vic asked you to keep secrets?” Mama asks sounding shocked and I nod. “You know things that I don’t then, like what happened to Vic’s face.”
I nod, frantically trying to find a hole on my jeans that I can pick at but there’s none. Heck, I’m wearing sweatpants.
“What happened to Vic’s face, Kellin? I need to know. You need to tell me.” She says and I begin to feel overwhelmed, pressured and a little trapped.
“B-but Vic said.” I sniff.
“Kellin, this is really important. Vic’s hurt. I need to know how.” Mama snaps.
After that, I lose it. I put my head in my hands and start crying hysterically.
“I can’t.” I sob loudly.
I hear the front door open and my head shoots up. I look at the clock on the wall and realize that school had finished a while ago. Still bawling my eyes out, I shoot up from my seat and rush to the front door where Vic is. He looks utterly shocked when I wrap my arms around him tightly as I cry into his shoulder. Vic wraps his arms back around me.
“Kellin, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Vic asks softly.
“She w-was going to make m-me tell her. I didn’t w-want to tell h-her. I t-told you that I wasn’t g-going to tell her.” I sob and Vic rubs my back as he shushes me softly.
“Is this about what happened at school yesterday?” Vic asks and I nod, still crying. “I’ll talk to Mama, you go upstairs. I’ll be up in a second and we’ll talk.”
I nod and pull away. Vic cups my face and wipes away my tears.
“Hey, you’re okay. You’re not in trouble or anything. Everything’s okay. Calm down.” He says and I nod, taking deep breathes.
“Go upstairs.” He says, giving me one last pat on the back and I nod turning away.
Vic storms off into the dining room and I begin making my way upstairs but then I hear yelling. I stop climbing the stairs then just sit down where I am.
“I didn’t mean to upset him!” Mama shrieks.
“If you want to know something, you speak to me! You can’t just interrogate him! He’s done nothing wrong!” Vic shouts, scaring me a little.
“I can’t speak to you, Vic! You won’t tell me anything. And when you do, you lie. It’s lie, after lie, after lie; ‘I’m fine Mama’, ‘it’s nothing Mama’, ‘I fell Mama’. When are the lies going to stop? When are you going to decide to start telling me the truth? It’s been almost two years now Vic. Two years of me constantly worrying about you. Yeah, hassling Kellin was a very low blow and I’m deeply sorry for that but Kellin was my only chance to find out what’s going on with you because somewhere along the way you disregarded the fact that I’m your mother and that you can tell me anything. I love you, Vic. What did I do to make you stop loving me?” Mama shrieks.
“Of course I love you Mama.” Vic cries softly. “You’re my Mama. I’ve always loved you, I always will.”
“Then talk to me, Vic.” Mama pleads.
“I’m sorry.” Vic whispers before I hear him walking in my direction.
He comes back into view and sees me on the stairs. He gives me a soft look as he walks up the first few stairs to where I am.
“Come here, you.” He whispers sliding an arm under my legs and his other behind my back as he lifts me up.
He carries me the rest of the way upstairs and then into our room. He lays me down on his bed and lays next to me.
“Thank you for not telling her.” He whispers.
“It’s okay.” I sniff.
He smiles lightly and takes my hand in his. He links his fingers in mine and stares at our hands for a really long time. I noticed that his sleeve has slipped up and though I can’t see anything, it just reminds me of what is hiding under those sleeves.
“Vic, why do you cut your arms?” I whisper and Vic drops my hand. I know he does it himself. I read about that kind of stuff in a book once.
His eyes are wide and he looks scared and horrified. He sits up and I sit up as well.
“How, how did you…” He trails off and I give him the softest most comfortingly look I can muster up.
“You were sleeping and your sleeve came up. You were bleeding too. Why do you do it?” I ask again.
He doesn’t say anything but he just stares at me with fear.
“I’m not going to tell anyone.” I whisper to reassure him and he looks slightly relieved.
Then almost out of nowhere, he starts crying. I wrap my arms around his shaking body and he rests his head on my shoulder. I rub his back softly as he cries out all his emotions.
“I’m sorry.” He chokes out through a sob.
“No, don’t be sorry. It’s okay.” I whisper.
“Its not okay.” He sobs. “I’ve let you down. I’ve let everyone down. I’m such a fuckup.”
“Why do you do it?” I ask again.
“It makes me feel better.” He cries.
I don’t comment on that. I just rub his back some more as he cries onto my shoulder. Its a while before he stops crying and pulls away. He looks down ashamed once again.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” I whisper but he doesn’t respond.
He just lies down on his side facing away from me. I sigh sadly and lie down next to him, staring up at the ceiling.
“I’m so sorry.” I whisper after a while. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Vic sniffs and rolls over facing me. There’s tears in his eyes but he’s still smiling at me. He wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him, so my head is resting on his shoulder. Our faces are so close that our noses are touching but I don’t mind.
“You didn’t upset me. ” He whispers. “You made me feel so much better. Thank you.”
I smile and nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck.
“Really?” I question hopefully.
“Yeah.” He breathes.
“But how?” I mumble confused.
I feel his hand slide under my shirt and he starts gently rubbing the bare skin of my back.
“Its just been a secret for so long. It just feels relieving that someone knows. And that someone cares, I guess.”
I smile and gently start running my finger along his chest, creating imaginary lines.
“I’m sorry you had to see that.” Vic mumbles.
“Its okay.” I whisper.
I feel my eyes begin to droop and I let them fall though I dont got to sleep just yet.
“How’re you feeling?” Vic murmurs.
“So much better.” I reply. “Still sick, but better.”
“That’s good. I’m sorry. It’s my fault you’re sick.” He mumbles.
I don’t protest because I know he’ll just argue back.
“It’s okay. I like it when you look after me.” I smile. “It makes me feel safe.”
“You are safe.” Vic mumbles with a slight confused tone.
“Sometimes I don’t feel it. But I always do when I’m around you.” I explain.
“I’m glad you feel that way. Get some rest. You’re tired.” Vic mumbles and I hum, before almost instantly falling asleep on him.
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