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Tonight was probably the most relaxed night of them all, mainly due to the fact that not much drinking was going on. There still was; but it was a lot more controlled as everyone shifted back a gear, slowly sipping at their beverages unlike previous nights. Even I was drinking; my body not feeling as tense as it was the night before. I wasn’t drinking much like everyone else but enough to make me feel warm on the inside.
We all sat around the fire as Kevin held an old acoustic guitar in his hands. He’s not actually too bad at it if I’m completely honest; he’s actually really damn good. His dad started teaching him when he was little and he was a natural, picking up the skill almost instantly. I on the other hand; wasn’t so fortunate. I was always a little jealous of Kev’s dad teaching him to play so I asked Kev and he tried to teach me. I never realised how uncoordinated I was with instruments until that day; let’s just say I was no longer jealous of Kev.
He twisted the pegs, lightly strumming a few times in between tuning the strings. It wasn’t the nicest guitar out because, as I said, it was old. He has a few other ones but this particular one has always been his favourite. It used to be his dad’s guitar before he handed it down to him on his 13th birthday. Still to this day he says it’s the best present he’s ever received. I smiled, remembering how excited he was when he told me about it almost immediately after he got it. I never really understood why he was so happy about something that was used and handed down from his dad; but it always made me so happy to see him like that whether I understood it or not.
“And I think we’re good” He grinned as he twisted the peg one last time. He strummed once more before nodding his head approvingly, “Good girl” he praised quietly. Oh yeah, his guitar is a girl named Ellie. Don’t ask; I don’t know either. “What do youse want to hear?” He focused his attention back to us.
There was a few shrugs around the fire so I took the liberty upon myself to respond. “Surprise us” I smiled, tipping my beer in his direction.
“Thank god” he sighed, “I thought someone was going to ask something I didn’t know” he chuckled.
“You’re in control” I laughed, “You can play whatever you want”
He thought for a second. “Tell me to stop at any time if you get bored” he stated to all of us, probably feeling a little nervous with his little crowd.
“Just play a damn song!” Seb shouted teasingly, he could probably sense his nerves as well.
“Fine!” Kev countered, a little quieter than Seb. “This was the first song my dad taught me how to play on the guitar”. I knew what it was before he even started playing it. It was ‘Hotel California’ by the Eagles; he use to play it all the time before he started learning anything else. I’d say he’s starting with this one because it’s the one he’s most comfortable with.
Did I also forget to mention that Kevin could sing? Like really sing. He gets enough attention from the ladies as it is but if they knew what he sounded like at times like this he’d be even more irresistible. Now that I think about it, I don’t think Teegan or Imogen have ever heard him sing before. Skye, being his sister, would probably know all too well because when he practiced a song; he really practiced a song.
I couldn’t help but notice Teegan’s eyes widen as he started singing. I’m guessing he didn’t sound like how she thought he was going to sound. I also couldn’t help but notice as he winked at her; a light blush consuming her cheeks. Only then did I realise that I’ve been a little selfish. With everything going on with Chase I completely forgot that Kev had his eye on Teegan. Something could have happened between them and I wouldn’t even know about it. I guess I’ll have to find out later.
I glanced over at Chase as he sat on the ground once again. He must really like sitting on the ground. I smiled as he subtly mouthed the words alongside Kev; tapping his bottle against his knee in a timely rhythm, he must like this song. I can’t blame him though, The Eagles are a classic. I listened to the words as they left Kev’s mouth, appreciating just how smooth his accent sounded as he sang. He played the song a little differently to the original; it was a little slower. He always thought it sounded better like that and listening to it now I think I’d have to agree.
Everyone clapped and cheered when he finished playing the song. He grinned at us sheepishly, “I’m guessing it wasn’t too bad then?”
I was about to reply but Teegan beat me to it. “Are you kidding? That was amazing!” She praised, a slightly dumb-founded look on her face. “I wish I was that good at something” She sighed, sitting back in her chair before staring into the fire.
“I’m sure we can find something together” he grinned cockily in return.
She laughed in response. “Boy you gotta try harder than that.” Although, you could still see a slight tinge on her cheeks.
“Don’t worry” He smirked, “I’ve only just started. It can still get harder” He winked.
“Is that so?” She mused, still laughing.
“I think we’ve heard enough” Skye raised her voice, “You” she said pointing at her brother, “stop being a pig” He just grinned at her, “And you” she pointed at Teegan, “Stop egging him on. He’s like a dog; once you get him going you can’t stop him and before you know it he’ll start humping your leg.” She then winked at her; already aware of what she just did.
We all cracked up as Kev scoffed defensively. “I am nothing like a dog! I’m… I’m-” We all laughed harder as he stumbled his words trying to think of a comeback. “Whatever” he groaned, “I need another beer anyway”. With that he stood up, placing his guitar down and walking away. Skye and Teegan high-fived triumphantly at their little victory.
It only took about 20 seconds for Kev to return with another beer. We all made an effort of trying not to laugh at him but it all failed when Seb made a woofing sound; making everyone laugh once again. Kev glared at him before picking his guitar back up, “Do it again and you’ll regret it.” Seb just chuckled, raising his hands in a mock surrender. “Now that that’s out of the way” Kev sighed before focusing his attention back to the instrument in his hands. “This one’s still a work in progress so forgive me if I fuck up.”
…
I knew I said I wasn’t going to drink much and I haven’t. I’ve been pacing myself but not enough as it would seem. It wasn’t that I was doing or saying anything that I would regret but as I listened to Kev’s singing my eyes kept wandering over to Chase. A few times I’ve caught myself just staring at him and I don’t even know if he’s caught me doing it. I’ve composed myself every time; looking back at the flames that seemed to dance along to Kevin’s words, flicking and twisting in a smooth tango against the cool night’s air.
We all clapped as Kev finished what was probably his 6th song of the night. I thought about it briefly, Yep; definitely his 6th song. The song he just finished was ‘Wasn’t expecting that’ by Jamie Lawson. I blame it on the alcohol but I had to wipe my eyes after he finished; god that song is beautiful. It tells a story from start to finish about a life created and shared between two people that neither of them saw coming; all because of one simple smile. He never truly understood what he did to deserve her but it didn’t matter; she loved him and they grew old together. Although she died at the end of the song you couldn’t help but smile about the love that they shared; whether they were expecting it or not.
I wasn’t too sure what I was thinking as I glanced over at Chase; the words of the song still playing over in my head. A part of me felt stupid but another part of me didn’t care as a thought crossed my mind. It may just have been the alcohol but sitting here, looking at him right now I could actually picture myself being with him. Holding him, laughing with him, kissing him and just being able to touch him for as long as he would let me. Never would I have thought I would have these feelings again; especially for another guy. But in this moment, I didn’t care. I smiled as a verse from the song came to mind.
‘Oh isn’t it strange,
How a life can be changed,
In the flicker of the sweetest smile.’
That’s really all it took for me. A smile. Whether I knew it or not at the time it was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. I pushed it aside as nothing but little did I know it was going to change my life.
I rubbed at my arms as my skin started to feel cold; hugging them close to my body. It wasn’t until Chase’s eyes met mine did I realise that I wasn’t cold. I was feeling lonely; I wanted to hold him. It was almost perfect; friends, music, beers and a night to remember. But it was missing one thing; the thing I craved the most. Him. I wanted to hold him; hold him close as Kevin’s voice filled the night… but would he let me? How would he react if I just went over to him and pulled him into me? Would he push me away… Or would he pull me closer?
I tentatively stood up before walking over to him; crouching down beside him, careful not to touch him. “Chase?” I knew I already had his attention because he was already looking at me before I spoke.
I watched his Adam’s apple as he swallowed nervously. “Yes?” His eyes never met mine, his gaze lingering close but never meeting.
I hesitated before speaking; fearing that I wouldn’t be able to say anything. “Can I talk to you… alone?” I mumbled, my breathing was irregular; partly from my nerves but also from just how close he was. It would be so easy to just reach out and touch him but I refrained.
“I don’t know…”
“Please” I frowned at how desperate the simple request sounded. My voice sounded like it was going to break.
He looked at the ground, mumbling something under his breath before nodding his head slowly.
“Thank you” I breathed; relieved. I wasn’t too sure why I was thanking him. I just knew that if he declined I don’t know how I would have reacted. Even his uncertainty hurt; for all I knew his rejection would have been enough to break my heart.
I stood up and took a step back; giving him the room to stand up. “Is everything okay?” I heard Teegan ask.
I looked around at her before nodding. “We’ll be right back” She frowned at me before nodding her head slowly. I glanced over at Kev as he nodded his head encouragingly; mouthing what looked like ‘you got this’. I smiled in return, glad to know that he had my back.
“Where to?” Chase asked quietly. I looked around at him and smiled at him reassuringly. I couldn’t help but notice the shy smile as he returned it.
“Just follow me” I wasn’t actually sure where I wanted to go. I wasn’t sure of anything except that I wanted to make things right between us. He didn’t reply, just nodding his head.
I wanted to go somewhere private; where no one could hear us but at the same time I didn’t want to take him too far. I stopped by the river, noticing the refreshing chill in the air as it pressed against my face. It was a lot colder here than back up by the fire. I turned around, frowning at Chase as he held his naked arms tight around his body. I didn’t hesitate to take my jacket off and motion for him to take it.
He eyed it for a few seconds before shaking his head. “No, it’s yours. I’m okay”
“You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me” I pressed. It was true, the only reason that he was freezing his arse off was because of me; and I hated that.
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be here” he sighed; looking down, it almost sounded sad; scared. “What did you want to talk about?” I watched him; taking a step closer, still holding the jacket out.
“Please”
He tentatively reached out and took it. “Thank you, Trae”. I smiled, loving the way my name sounded with his accent. He put in on carefully before pulling his arms around his chest once more, releasing a shaky breath. “Thank you” he breathed again. I couldn’t help but notice that it was a little looser on him than it was on me.
“Don’t mention it” I pulled my arms around myself as the true nature of the air seeped into the skin of my arms. God it really was freezing.
“What did you want to talk about?” he asked quietly. I looked up at him before frowning; what did I want to talk about? Well, I knew what I wanted to talk about but how do I say it? How do you open up and tell someone what you’re feeling when you’re not completely sure yourself? That’s the main reason I’ve never gone back to being in a relationship. I hated feeling weak and I hated feeling vulnerable; opening myself up to someone and leaving it all up to them to decide what to do with my emotions. Leaving it up to them to decide whether they should cherish them or break them. That’s what my ex did; she ripped them apart and threw them aside like they were nothing.
But in this moment a part of me wanted just that. I wanted to feel weak and vulnerable in front of him if only it meant that I could touch his skin; feel his breath on my neck and his lips against mine. I trusted him. I wanted to tell him I was scared and I wanted to tell him just how bad I wanted all these things… but how do you start that conversation? Do you just say it or do you lead into it? Maybe I should just kiss him like Kevin said? I wish he was here right now. He always knows what to do.
I wasn’t sure how long I was standing there but I was brought back to the moment when I heard Chase speak. “I think I should go”. I felt my chest tighten at his words. He couldn’t leave; Not now.
He was about to turn around before I spoke. “I’m scared” It was the only thing that came to my mind. It was the shortest way that I could think to describe everything that I was feeling when it came to Chase. Yes there was so much I wanted to say; but it all led back to that one little phrase. I was scared of Chase; scared of how anything and everything he does or could do seems to affect me in the best or worst of ways.
He stopped in his motion; turning to frown at me. “What do you mean?” His words were soft yet curious; hopeful.
I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat. My nerves were going crazy. “I can’t stop thinking about you” It felt like my heart was going to explode in my chest but I still managed to take a step closer. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone before” I reached out to touch his cheek; slowly, tentatively, watching for any kind of reaction. “I’ve never wanted anyone so bad before”. When he didn’t move away I kept going; brushing my fingers up his cheek, feeling the heat that radiated from his skin even in such cold temperatures. A small smile pulled at my lips as he let out a shaky breath on contact. “I don’t know what it is about you…” I paused, taking a breath, “But it’s driving me insane. All because-” I stumbled my words as my nerves got the better of me, “Ever since that stupid dare…”
“I’m scared too” He cut me off. The confession was quiet but I’m glad it was there. It felt like it took the spotlight off me even just for a moment. He kept his eyes on mine as he moved closer. I watched wide eyed as he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me; his breath fanned against my neck, sending shivers up my spine. As I put my arms around him I couldn’t help but notice he was only a little shorter than me, I liked that. “I don’t even know what it is about you” he chuckled softly, “You’re not even my type.” I frowned, unsure of how I should feel about that. “But I can’t stop thinking about you either… ever since I first saw you. I thought it was because of how hot you are,” I smiled at his little confession, “But when you were kissing me” I felt him shudder against me, “I’ve never felt anything like that before. I loved it but at the same time I hated it. I knew you were straight but I couldn’t control myself…” he paused taking a breath. He turned his head slightly so that he could look up at me. “It was so confusing. I thought you were straight but the way you were looking at me… it was driving me insane”.
“I’m sorry” I sighed tightening my arms around him, welcoming his warmth as it engulfed me. “I was trying to figure everything out… figure out if what I was feeling was real or not.”
“It’s okay” I felt him lightly press his lips against my neck before resting his head against my shoulder. “I forgive you”. The little kiss was barely there but I knew it was as a shudder spread throughout my body, sparking a flame inside me.
“Chase?” I mumbled. He turned his head; looking back up at me, a questioning look on his face. “Can I kiss you?” The request came out quiet yet desperate; soft yet demanding. I don’t know what I would have done if he said no but something about his little confession told me he wouldn’t.
He cleared his throat before nodding shyly. I knew what I was asking for but it didn’t quite sink in until he told me I could. The butterflies spread throughout my stomach as I leant my head down, nuzzling my face gently against his as I searched for his lips.
My fingers clenched into the back of his shirt when I found them, a current of electricity surging through me as the soft flesh pressed against mine. Our lips moved in a slow, lustful motion as they explored each other; relishing in the warmth we both seemed to crave so much. I nipped at his bottom lip before running my tongue over the swollen surface, moaning at the sweet taste he provided. I felt his hands as they ran up my back and gripped onto my shoulders, pulling me harder against him as he opened his mouth against mine.
He moaned against my lips as my tongue entered his mouth; desperate to explore every part of his orifice, desperate to remember everything I felt the first time I kissed him. One of my hands twisted itself in the various strands of his hair; gently pulling and tugging in every direction as my other hand travelled up and under the fabric of his shirt and jacket; my fingernails dragging up the bare skin of his side. I pushed him back, slowly guiding him on our journey. My mouth never left his as his back pressed against the trunk of a tree. He released as throaty groan as his back pressed against the hard surface, fuelling the uncontrollable fire already surging through my veins. I couldn’t help the moan that left my mouth as well.
My mouth left his as it trailed along his jaw and down his neck. I felt him as he ground his hips against mine, desperately searching for yet another kind of contact between us. He threw his head back when I my mouth trailed over the skin just below the end of his jaw line. I licked at sucked at the one spot; marking him as my own as my name left his lips followed by incoherent profanities in the form of desperate moans. Fuck he tasted amazing. I trailed down, sucking on the skin covering his Adam’s apple, feeling the vibrations course throughout me as his sounds of pleasure filled the night.
I pulled back from him, licking my lips. Both of our lips were parted in a breathless haze as we stood there staring at each other momentarily. “God you are beautiful” His face turned a bright red as I ran my fingers along his cheek once again before leaning forward; placing a small, gentle kiss against the side of his mouth. I trailed my mouth along his cheek, leaving small kisses in my wake as I made my way to his ear. I don’t know what crossed my mind in that moment as the urge to tell him that I loved him came to mind. I knew I didn’t love him; well not yet at least. All I knew was that in that moment I wanted to say something; anything just to express how much he meant to me, regardless of how long we’ve known each other. ‘Love’ was the only word I could formulate to express just what I was feeling for him in that moment but was that even possible? Can you fall in love in just after a few day? I pushed the thought away for another day; it wasn’t important right now.
“You are so beautiful” I repeated, lightly pressing my lips against the shell of his ear.
-End of Chapter 9-
A/N- i don’t know if this turned out as good as i originally intended before writing it but i don’t think i went too bad… I wanted to try to make it as perfect as ‘i’ possibly could so there’s that i guess…
I seriously recommend looking up ‘Wasn’t Expecting That’ by Jamie Lawson if you havent heard it.. it is such a beautiful song!!
Attached song is ‘Fire Meets Gasoline’ by Sia. I first heard this song when i was writing chapter 6 but this song is honestly amazing. Its pretty much everything i wanted to write and express in a song! and better yet it’s Sia and boy can she sing. It sounds a little strange at first but listen to the lyrics and it all makes sense!!!!!
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