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DR. ADESINA TOLD ME I WAS ready for this. Just one day. One day at home. But it’s not just any day. It’s my birthday. Today is May 16th 2017 and I’m officially seventeen.
It doesn’t feel real, on the way home after weeks of fluorescent lights, group sessions, and the constant low hum of the rehab facility. But the car we’re in? It’s not their car. It’s mine.
An Audi RS6. All black, tinted windows, leather seats that still smell new. I gasped when I saw it parked outside the centre, a giant silver bow stretched across the hood. They handed me the keys like it was nothing. Like this was normal.
Technically, I only have my permit. But they let me drive anyway-just a short loop around the block before they took over. They said once I’m home for good, we’ll book the test and get my license sorted properly. And for the first time in a while, I’m actually… excited.
But that excitement fades the second we pull up to the house. There are balloons tied to the gate. Music floats through the open garden. Lights, tables, flowers-caterers. It looks like one of Mum’s charity events, not my birthday.
And then after I got dressed and people started pouring in, I realised that… Everyone is here.
Everyone from Royal Academy. I spot girls I haven’t spoken to in months. Boys who never cared about me suddenly glancing over. The looks are what get me.
Pity. Sympathy. Curiosity.
Like I’m some freak show they came to see.
I knew this would happen. Dr. Adesina and I even talked about it. But that doesn’t make it any easier to stomach. It’s like they’re all seeing me for the first time, even though I’ve been here all along.
“There’s the birthday girl!” I turn at the sound of Valeria’s voice. She’s weaving through the crowd with JJ right beside her.
Behind them, Alyssa’s laughing at something Carson said-until she spots me.
She breaks away from him and wraps her arms around me in an instant. “I’ve missed you,” she whispers into my hair.
I close my eyes and hug her tighter. “I’ve missed you too, Aly.”
We pull apart and I catch JJ eyeing me from head to toe with a smirk. “Red is your colour, Carmen.”
I glance down at my dress-short and sparkly with a subtle slit. I almost didn’t wear it. But I’m glad I did.
“And green is yours,” I shoot back, grinning at her emerald halter dress.
“So…” Carson tilts his head, a teasing grin on his face. “How does seventeen feel?”
“Shit?” I joke but not really. I don’t know, I just don’t feel different yet.
He laughs, shaking his head with a small smirk. “Felix is looking for you, by the way. He’s out in the garden.”
Of course, he is. He has some special surprised planned, his words not mine.
“I’ll be out there soon,” I say. “Just need to do something quickly.”
“I’ll let him know.” Carson walks off with Alyssa under his arm. She turns to wave with a soft smile before disappearing into the crowd.
“Don’t tell me you’re running away,” Valeria says with narrowed eyes.
I laugh lightly. “I’m not. God forbid a girl needs to pee.”
“Don’t take long!” JJ calls out after me as I walk away.
But I’m not going to the bathroom. I just need to breathe for a second. Slipping through the hallway, I make my way toward the stairs-away from the garden, away from the noise. I’m almost there when-
“Hey, Carmen,” comes a voice. I freeze.
Emma.
She’s flanked by Lily and Anika. Of course. She’s the tolerable one. The other two? Not so much.
“We heard what happened,” Anika says, her tone laced with fake concern. “Are you okay?”
I purse my lips and give a nod. That’s all they’re getting from me.
“So… what was rehab like, really?” Lily asks, tilting her head like I’m some zoo animal she’s curious about.
I smile, polite and sweet. “It was a life-changing experience. You should try it sometime, I think you might need it.”
Her mouth opens in shock, and Anika lets out a tiny gasp. Emma covers her smile with her hand.
I turn on my heel and head up the stairs, leaving them behind. For fuck’s sake.
I rub my forehead with my palm, the weight of everything finally settling in. I stare down at the floor, the sounds from the party echoing behind me. Am I really ready for this?
Before I can spiral too deep, I bump into something-no, someone-solid. I stumble, but a hand catches my wrist before I can fall.
“Hey, Blondie.”
That voice. That nickname. My breath catches in my throat. Only one person calls me that.
I slowly look up, my eyes tracing the black shirt, the soft curls falling across his forehead, and then finally meeting the green eyes I’ve missed more than I want to admit. My heart is hammering so loud I’m sure he can hear it.
He meets my gaze and doesn’t look away, doesn’t say anything either. And I don’t too.
God, he looks just as good as I remember. Maybe even better.
Footsteps echo up the stairs, voices getting closer. Without thinking, I grab his hand and twist the knob behind me. I pull him into my bedroom and shut the door behind us, leaning against it like I need a second to breathe.
My hand’s still in his. I haven’t let go. I’m not sure I want to.
“Carmen,” he murmurs near my ear, his voice lower now, softer. The sound sends a chill straight through me. He’s standing so close I can feel the warmth of his body behind mine. I turn slowly, and our fingers are still intertwined.
His touch is safe. Comforting. Like a tether to something I thought I lost.
“You okay?” he asks, brushing a curl out of my face. His fingers graze my cheek and I swear I lean into it.
I part my lips, but no words come out. So I just nod.
He tilts his head, his lips pulling into a small smile. His finger slips under my chin, gently nudging it up. “Use your words, darlin’.”
“I’m good.” Now that I’m with you.
“Yeah?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
He doesn’t say anything for a moment. He’s just watching me, really watching me, like he’s trying to memorise every part of me again. And when he speaks, his voice is quiet. “You look beautiful.”
My heart skips a beat. Or two. Or ten. “You don’t look too bad yourself,” I reply, trying to sound cool. It doesn’t work, my voice comes out breathy and anything but.
His lips tilt up into that soft smile that makes everything feel a little lighter. His eyes then dart around. “So this is your room, huh?”
I step aside, letting him walk in a little further. My bedroom is a chaotic reflection of every version of myself. Fairy lights drape across the ceiling, soft and warm. My bed has sheer curtains around it, my hanging chair is buried in pillows, and there’s a record player on my dresser beneath framed vinyls and music posters.
He chuckles as he takes it all in. “This is very… you.”
“Is that a good thing?”
He sits at the edge of my bed and I watch as legs spread. “Of course it is, Blondie.”
The way he says it, so casual, so him, makes my cheeks flush. I start to move toward him but stop a few steps away, needing space before I lose all self-control.
“What were you doing up here?” I ask.
He raises an eyebrow. “Why do you think?”
I shrug but he’s already reaching out, his hand finding mine again. This time, he pulls me between his legs, so I’m standing right in front of him, close enough to feel his breath on my skin. “Looking for you.”
My heart’s racing so fast it might explode.
“You’re so beautiful, Carmen,” he says softly, his gaze drifting down to my dress. His hand cups my cheek again, thumb brushing my skin like it’s fragile, like I’m something worth handling gently.
“You already said that,” I mumble, trying to laugh off how breathless I feel.
He doesn’t laugh as his eyes flicker to my lips, his thumb gently brushing over them. “Can I?” he whispers, eyes searching mine, voice barely audible.
Fuck it.
I lean in and crash my lips onto his. It’s everything I’ve been craving and everything I didn’t know I needed.
His lips are warm, familiar, a little tentative at first-but when I lean in closer, when I tangle my fingers into the back of his hair and pull him to me, he deepens it. His hand slides around my waist, anchoring me, holding me like I’m something he doesn’t want to lose again.
It’s not just a kiss. It’s months of pain and longing and missed moments, poured into one impossible heartbeat.
It’s the kind of kiss that steals the air from your lungs and gives you something better in return-relief.
When we finally pull apart, both of us breathing hard, we don’t move far. Our foreheads press together as we stare into each other’s eyes.
“I’ve missed you,” I breathe out, saying the words I’ve repeated to him many times.
He lets out a quiet laugh, the kind that makes my chest ache. “I’ve missed you way fucking more.” Then before I can react, he leans in and kisses my lips again. Softer. Slower. Like a promise.
His lips trail along my jaw, leaving a warm, buzzing trail behind. I shiver when he kisses just beneath my ear, then down to the edge of my neck.
But then-the doorknob rattles. I jolt back, my breath catching in my throat. Someone’s trying to open the door. My heart’s in my mouth until I remember-I locked it.
A soft knock follows. “Carmen?” It’s Felix.
My eyes go wide, panic surging in my chest, but Aaron just smirks, cool and unfazed, and pulls me back in by the waist like this is some sort of game.
“Yeah?” I call out, trying to sound calm. Normal.
“You okay?” There’s worry in his voice, and guilt creeps up my spine like ivy.
“I needed to fix my makeup,” I lie. “But I’ll be down in a second!”
“Don’t take too long,” he says and his footsteps eventually fade down the hall. I release a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
Aaron is still close. His thumbs rub slow circles on my waist as he murmurs, “You don’t need to fix anything. You’re perfect.”
My cheeks flush, heat spreading down to my chest. “Stop,” is all I can say, my voice barely above a whisper.
He stands now, rising to his full height, and suddenly he’s towering over my 5’6 frame.
“I can’t be honest now?” he teases.
I roll my eyes and cross my arms, but my smile gives me away. His words are doing something to me-softening me in places I thought were permanently bruised.
“Happy birthday, darlin’,” he mutters, and leans in to kiss my forehead. It’s so gentle. So full of everything I’ve been missing.
Without thinking, I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. He responds immediately, locking his arms around my waist like it’s second nature. I bury my face in his shoulder and just breathe-his scent, his warmth, his everything.
“I don’t deserve you,” I whisper before I can stop myself.
He pulls back, just enough to look me in the eye. His brows furrow. “Don’t say that.”
“But the stuff I said, the stuff I did-“
“You were going through a lot,” he cuts in, his voice steady, calm. “It’s okay.”
I look down, my fingers fidgeting with the hem of my dress. He lifts my chin, gently, until I meet his gaze again. “I promise.” And somehow, I believe him.
God, he’s perfect. So fucking perfect.
“Let’s go before people start to think the birthday girl ran away, yeah?” he says with a soft chuckle.
“Okay,” I breathe out. I don’t want to go but knowing he’s by my side makes it easier. I unlock the door, and we step out together.
As we walk down the stairs, our arms brush. Once. Then again. But the third time, our hands touch-on purpose. My pinkie hooks around his, and for a moment, I feel grounded. Steady. Safe.
When we reach the bottom of the stairs, the house is empty. I frown, looking around.
And then I hear the music. The laughter. The muffled beat of something much bigger outside. I follow it and the moment I step out into the garden, I freeze. Everyone’s there.
All eyes turn to me-and to Aaron, standing right beside me.
The fairy lights are glowing, strung across the garden like stars. There’s a big crowd gathered near the center, and right in front of it, standing proudly, is Felix. He gestures to the little wooden structure next to him-a tiny house, freshly painted and decorated with a bow.
“Here’s your birthday gift,” he says, opening the door.
Out bounds a German Shepherd puppy, all clumsy legs and floppy ears, sprinting straight toward me.
I drop to my knees just in time to catch him. He knocks into me, licking my face like he’s known me forever. I laugh, letting him climb all over me, my hands running through his soft fur.
“Aren’t you so cute?” I squeal, and I can hear Aaron laughing behind me, that deep chuckle that always makes my heart twist in the best way.
The crowd erupts into claps and cheers before the music turns back on. As people return to dancing and talking, Felix walks over, a rare smile on his face. “His name is Dexter.”
I laugh, standing up as the dog sits down by my feet. “After that show you love? The killer one?”
“I wish,” he scoffs, shaking his head with a smile. “I didn’t pick his name. But yeah, it might’ve helped.”
“Thank you, Felix,” I mutter, my voice quieter than I expected. “So much.”
“You’ve always wanted one,” he replies with a shrug. “So…”
But then his eyes land on Aaron. Oh, no. “Connie,” he says stiffly.
“Felix,” Aaron responds, nodding. “Happy birthday, mate.”
“Thanks, lad.” There’s a beat, awkward but not cold. Then Felix turns to me. “We’re gonna cut the cake soon, okay?”
I nod. “I’ll be there.” As he walks away, I glance up at Aaron, narrowing my eyes. That was weird. Not tense, just… strange.
“What?” he laughs, catching my look. I roll my eyes but can’t fight my smile. “This is your party, Carmen,” he says, slinging an arm over my shoulder. “Let’s go have fun.”
And as we walk toward the rest of the crowd-toward the music, the lights, the cake, the people-I can’t help but feel the flutter again.
Not just from him. But from being here. Alive. Present. Happy. And maybe tonight will actually be fun.
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