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*Vanessa’s POV*
“Awe Tristan” I cooed, and pulled him into a hug. I felt his jaw clench and unclench, moving my hair, then finally, he surrender to my hug and hugged me back. I could tell he was a lot more upset then he was pretending to be.
I settled back and away from him. We were on the couch in our living room. Paul had gone for a guys day out, and considering it was Saturday, I had plans. Tristan however was going to be home alone with his hurt. Or so he thought..
“It’s not a big deal” he muttered, looking away. But to him, and to me, it was a big deal. Jessie had really hurt him. And though Jessie was my best friend, family was forever. Don’t get me wrong, I understood Jessie’s point of view. Being gay and in the closet had to be tough.
But Tristan really liked him. I could tell. And Jessie made I clear enough with his constant blushing that he liked Tristan to. I was soo going to fix this. And if they didn’t like my methods… to bad. I was the girl here, no matter their sexualities, so I knew best.
“Tristan..” I trialed off and gave him another quick hug.
“What?” he asked. He sounded so sad..
“I’ve gotta go soon. It’s Lisa’s birthday and her mom will be here to pick me up.” Lisa was a really good friend of mine from soccer. She was loads of fun and had a sexy older brother.
“Oh” Tristan murmured, staring off into space.
“So. Are you sure you don’t want Marco? Are you POSITIVE you want Jessie?” I asked. He seemed to shrink back from my words, or at least, the truth in them. He nodded mutely. I gathered a big breath, then let it out. “Okay” I told him.
“Okay what?” he seemed confused. Like always I had to remind myself that my mind worked differently then other people’s. he had no idea what I was talking about, which was for the best at the moment. “I have something to show you that will help”
Again, he give’s me his depressing nod, and we both get off the couch. I lead him down the hall and into my room. I stop in front of my closet. “It’s in there” I inform him, making a gesture to tell him to open up and look for himself.
Hesitantly, he opens the door… and I rush forward, pushing his back with as much force as I can forward. He only stumble’s a few steps, curse him and his fitness, but it’s enough. I slam the door shut and click the lock in place.
“What the hell?!!?” he yells panicked.
“Love you!” I shout. Now part two of my evil/good plan. I whip out my cell phone and walk down the hall, away from his frantic pounding on the door of the closet. I hum under my breath and hit the familiar speed dial. “Hey Jessie!” I say perkily.
He seems confused, knowing this is not my normal reaction, considering him and Tristan got into a fight. “Umm, Hi Nessa” he says slowly, after a long pause of silence. “Guess what?” I ask him. Puzzled silence on the other end. “What?”
“We are hanging out. Be over here in ten minute’s. No worries, Tristan’s out with Marco.”
“Oh okay” he grumbles, then hangs up. I burst into laughter. He sounded soo jealous. My plan was going to work perfectly, I knew it already.
I lounge around for ten minute’s, waiting. I eat a pickle, watch some TV. All the average and very bland teenage activity. Soon I hear the door open. Me and Jessie are to close to knock on each others doors. No, we just barge on in.
I hurry to my feet and dart to my room. Tristan has even quieted down. Perfect. Of course, he pipe’s up when he hears my footsteps. “Nessa?” he asks frantically. He sounds scared. “Can you please let me out?!” he begs. “Shh!” I snap. He shuts up.
“I’m in here Jess!” I call out. Tristan goes crazy then, pounding on the door, making noise like crazy. “Nessa! What the hell!?!” he asks. “Shut up, shut up!” I hiss. “You said you wanted Jessie, so I’m helping!” he pauses his sound-making to consider this.
Thankfully, Jessie strolls in then. He looks like he’s trying to be sheepish, but is really scared. I hear a car pull into our drive way. Shit Lisa’s mom’s here to pick me up! Better make this quick. “Who’s that? And what was that noise I heard?” he asks.
“it’s Paul” I assure him “And the noise is.. Well, I have something to show you. It’s why I invited you over actually… Open the closet, take a look” I suggest, keeping my face completely nonchalant. Jessie seems to consider this, then he shrugs and opens the closet door.
Tristan must have seen this as his chance, because he rushed forward, trying to escape. I pushed Jessie forward forcefully, and they collided with a thud. I winced, but slammed the closets door on them, bolting it into place. Lisa’s mom honked.
“I’ll be back in a few hours!” I called cheerfully, then pranced out the door.
************************
*Jessie’s POV*
“Ow” I groan. Slowly I push myself to the sitting position.. And panic. All pain forgotten I jump to my feet and try desperately to open the door. I jiggle the handle, then resort to throwing my weight against it. Slam. The door rattle’s, but the lock holds. I’m hyperventilating now.
Tristan has only barely sat up at this point. He rubs the inside’s of his arms like they hurt from being slammed into me. Seeing my franticness, he stands. “It’s locked” he informs me, like I haven’t figured this out on his own.
“No it can’t be” I say, though I know it is locked I’m terrified. “You weigh more then me, throw your weight against it” I pester, daring to even grab his wrist and try to drag him closer to the door. He shakes his head. “It’s not going to work Jessie”
“Yes it is” I insist.
He tries to open it a few time’s, but it doesn’t work. My legs are no longer willing to support me, I slid to the ground, me knee’s tight against me, then I burry my face in my hands. I hear Tristan sit down across from me. I listen to his breathing and that helps a little.
“Umm.” he pipe’s up “I’m not going to like, rape you or anything. I won’t even talk to you if it helps”
I shake my head vigorously. “Kay” he state’s, taking my head shake as an answer. I look up, detaching my face from my hands.
“I’m claustrophobic” I manage to choke out.
“Oh” he says, his eye’s widening in surprise. “Are you o-“
“When my parents were still together, they’d fight a lot” I started speaking, cutting him off. I knew I didn’t particularly want to share this about myself, especially with Tristan who I’d already made a fool out of myself in front of, but the nervous babble bubbled from my mouth.
“But one day Kelsey, my sister, fell out of a tree. She broke her ankle, and my dad was really supportive well my mom was really distressed. They got along great, and were just so nice to each other. I felt like I had a real family again, like I had before Ryan was born.”
“When Kelsey was better everything went back to the way it was. Not all at once, but the fighting slowly started up again. About money, about who had to drive the kids. Normal mom and dad stuff. So one day, I decided to hide. I figured, if they thought I was missing for long enough, they’d realize how petty they’d been and go back to being model parents.”
“I soon found the best hiding spot. The drier. You know, like, the washing and drying machine? Yeah. I crawled in there. I was only nine then. Anyways, I buried myself under a heap of clothing and shut the door. I didn’t understand then that the door only opened from the outside..”
“I was in there for a full day and a half. It scared me so bad when I pushed on the door but it wouldn’t open. When I came out I wouldn’t talk to anyone, I’d told them I was hiding from Kelsey and Kelso, you know? Didn’t want the annoying little brother and sister to ask me to play. So… now I guess you can understand my dislike of being locked in a closet”
My eye’s had gone distant as I flowed through my memory. Now I focused on Tristan. I expected him to be sneering, or maybe laughing at me. Instead he looked calm and understanding. I Stared up at him blankly for a few moments.
“I understand” he soothed “but Vanessa will be back soon. Don’t worry about it Jess. In fact, why don’t you take a nap? I’ll be right here to make sure were let out on time. I promise” his voice was soothing and smooth.
I shook my head “I’d never be able to sleep in here” again, he looked coolly understanding.
“Now look Jessie, If it’s because of me, promise not to touch you while you-“
“No!” I yelped, cutting him off. “No” I repeated more calmly. “it’s not cuz of you. I just hate small space’s. I’m glad you in here with me.. I think I’d go crazy if I was alone. So, though this isn’t the best way to spend you Saturday night, thank you”
I reached out and took his hand, lacing my fingers through his. I looked down, to shy to look up and see his face, though mine was certainly flaming. “Are you SURE this isn’t the best way to spend you Saturday night?” he asked in a low voice, his grip on my hand tightening. Not forcefully, just as if to say ‘Please don’t let go’. I didn’t.
“Thanks” I say again, wishing I could watch his face, but to embarrassed.
“Not a problem.” he replied. “I’ll spend all my Saturday nights in the closet with you if you’d like” he says with a chuckle. I’m pretty sure my heart twinges.
He’s more then chuckling now. His laughter is alive and vivid. “What?” I ask, wanting in on the joke. The more I talk to him the more I forget about the tightly confining walls around us. “It’s just.. Funny. Your claustrophobic, yet you live in the closet”
I look even further down, my blond hair completely concealing my face. The light mood Tristan had been put into instantly cuts off. “Jessie.. I’m sorry” he apologizes. He seems concerned, and it make’s me want to cry. He’s so brave and open with himself! I’m suddenly ashamed of being in the closet.
“For what?” I ask, sounding far away. “Your right after all”
“Yes…” He seemed relived that I’d finally admitted it at least. “but I shouldn’t of said it like that”
I shook my head, feeling a smile build on my lips. I wasn’t really feeling like myself right now, so I had the courage to look up, release his hand, then make my way over to him. “Why not? It doesn’t really matter how exactly you say it. I’m gay, alright? And I’ve wanted to do this from the moment I saw your face” then I kissed him. I’d never fucking kissed anyone, and there I was, leaning over him, moving my lips against his. Realising this, I started to pull away.
He made a threatening noise in reply, and used his hand to capture my head. He held my face against his possessively, and took control of the kiss. He wrapped his free arm around my waist and brought me closer to him, so I was on my knee’s on top of his lap. So much for pulling away..
He began sucking on my lower lip, shifting his weight and adjusting me so I was pressed against him. I barely noticed that I was kissing him back, because all I felt was warmth and pleasure. But realising that he wanted me to open my mouth, I tried to pull back, pushing against his chest though I didn’t want the sensation to end.
He grunted in annoyance then his hand clenched in my hair. His warm arm had no trouble keeping my struggling body in check. His lips were making me shudder all over. So this was kissing, huh? It’s a lot better then I thought it would be. Stubbornly, I kept my mouth closed.
So he started biting my bottom lip. Grazing it in long slow circle’s. A long sexual moan travelled to my ears, and it was hard to process that I was the one making this noise. Using my moaning to his advantage, Tristan slid his tongue into my mouth. Hot breath slid from his mouth to mine.
Though I struggled with him on this, it was obvious that his tongue got dominance. It caressed and chased mine, though in a whole, he explored my mouth all over. I shivered. To soon his tongue slid back from my mouth. He pulled away.
I was left panting, staring into his eye’s with burning desire. His face had lust written all over it, but clearly this wasn’t a problem for him, because he seemed almost sheepish when he spoke “I shouldn’t have done that” he sighed, and brushed some blond hair from my face.
“Oh?” I said curiously “And why not?”
He sighed again. His arm hasn’t left my back and it doesn’t seem to be planning on it. I still haven’t caught my breath and he’s still breathing heavily. It’s then I notice that were both extremely hot in temperature. Wow. I never expected so much heat could be generated so quickly in such a way.
“Because” he says after eternity “You haven’t come out of the closet”
“Oh” I look down to hide the hurt in my eye’s. So he doesn’t want me, not if I’m such a coward. Biting my lip, I try to slid out of his lap. He doesn’t allow it though, and holds me tightly in place. “Cut that out” he snaps irritated “There’s no way I’m letting go of you, so cut it out”
Oddly his very possessive words comfort me. I relax a little, and dare to lean forward, resting my head to his burning solid chest. I close my eye’s and knew I could easily fall asleep there, considering it’s the most comfortable position I’ve ever been in.
“So now what?” I risk asking, risk destroying my personal bubble of happiness.
“So now you mine” he stat’s this with up-most confidence, like I’d gladly hand myself over to him.
I snort “Hardly”
Untouched by my words, his fingers start crawling up my back then trailing down it. “We’ll work on it” he says in an assuring voice, making me snort again. “yeah, we’ll get right on that” I mutter sarcastically, my eyelids feeling heavy. I’m not sure why suddenly I’m so tired. It’s probably the false sense of security I have all around me right now.
False… I remind myself. False, because who would ever want me? I’m a poor nobody. There’s nothing special about me what-so-ever, except maybe my painting ability, which I’m not ambitious enough to use. He probably wants in my pants. My thoughts have turned glum and dark.
I don’t bother to move away though. If he wants in my pants, which is exactly what he wants, he’ll find I’m not quite so slutty. Oh well. Might as well enjoy it well I got it. I nuzzle my head closer to his chest and feel my eye’s slid close.
*Tristan’s POV*
Jessie’s asleep. I hope my kissing abilities didn’t bore him quite that much. Despite my sarcasm, it feels incredibly nice to know he’s fallen trustingly asleep on my lap, his head buried in my chest. His slight body rise’s and fall with my breathing.
I’m not completely happy though. I want him to be mine. My boyfriend, my first love, my world. But he seems rather reluctant to accept that. I’m not sure how this relationship could possibly work well he remains in the closet. No not Vanessa’s closet, the metaphoric ‘in the closet’. How will I handle not claiming him as mine to the world?
He doesn’t seem exactly like the trusting type, so I’ll have to take things slow. Forcing him to make out with me was not a great first move, but I couldn’t help it. His lips had brushed mine so faintly, so lightly, almost just the tease of a feel of their softness. God I wanted him.
But I also really liked him. I was not screwing things up just because I had hormone’s. I’d be the perfect gentleman and not ask him for more then he was ready to give. I kissed the top of his head assuringly, then just rested my lips there.
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