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Jess’s POV*
Brushing you teeth sucks when you hate the taste of mint. No, really it does. Like, take the worst possible taste you know, and imagine having to use that to scrub every last surface of your mouth for hygiene ,Bleh. I looked at myself in the mirror, my face covered in the bubbles from brushing my teeth.
I bared my teeth at myself, which were covered in blue tinted suds, then I spit into the sink. I splashed my face with the cool water, and took a mouthful of the water to, trying to clear my mouth of the awful mint taste. A knock on the door sent me jumping.
“Jess!” my younger brother complained “Hurry up, what are you doing in there?”
“Brushing my teeth” I called back to the nosy fourteen year old. Kelso.
His twin joined him at the door, knocking and complaining.
“Shut up!” I ordered. “Kelso! Kelsey! For every time you whine I’m just going to go slower!”
They shut up. For about three minute’s. “Jessie” Kelsey complained, drawing out my name so it was more like ‘Jeeeeessssssssie’ “Your not a girl or a fag, it shouldn’t take you this long to get ready for school”
I laughed “Actually I am” I muttered under my breath, and opened the door. Kelso eagerly lunged forward to the bathroom, but I caught the collar of his shirt, and motioned to Kelsey “Ladies’ first” I told Kelso, who spluttered. “B-but you went before both of us!” he howled. Not really a howl, just a long low and annoying whine.
“Respect your elders” I ordered, smacking him lightly on the back of his head.
“Gah! I’m using the F’ing yard then!” he announced, fuming.
I laughed and ruffled his hair “Good boy” he gave me a dirty look and hurried off own the hall. I wonder if he’d actually pee outside. I wouldn’t put it past Kelso.
I waltzed off to my room. What to wear what to wear. Skinny jeans, the gayer side of me begged. No, I told him. He was displeased and disappointed by this, which I ignored. How bout… normal blue jeans, a white wife beater and that gray black and dark purple jacket mom bought me?
No wait, black jeans. Dammit, being closet gay was hard. The only black jeans you have are skinny jeans Jess, I told myself. Hmm. Finally I settled on my first choice, A wife beater, blue jeans (only a tiny bit tight) and the jacket.
I looked at the eye liner I’d stolen from Kelsey’s room. I wonder how I’d look? Gay. I answered myself admittedly. Okay, okay. No eyeliner. With that final discussion made I ran a hand threw my hair, and went down stairs. Kelso was just coming in from outside.
I laughed as he brushed past me, staring daggers. Entering the Kitchen, I saw my mom all ready for work, fumbling through a messy brief case. My mom had the family look. Blond hair blue eye’s. there wasn’t a member of our family without those traits. They just varied.
Example, my hair was pale gold, well my mom’s hair was the color of beach sand with darker highlights. My eye’s were baby blue, hers were the blue of the sky at night. A very very deep dark blue. She looked up at me as I walked into the room.
“Jess honey, you need to come home from school earlier then normal today. I know you and your art club are painting the backgrounds for the school play and making the props, but I need you home early. Your father won’t take Ryan and I have to be at work.”
I gave her a ruffled look. I knew my mom was over stressed, after having four children followed by a divorce was rough, but I really didn’t want to look after my nine year old brother. I loved doing art, and I was the clubs best painter.
“B-but” I stuttered in protest.
She sighed, circling the table and kissing my forehead. “Please Honey?” she pleaded, a soft hand gently caressing my face. “Can’t Kelsey, or Kelso?” I beg, in one last defeated attempt. “Sorry Jess, but you know I can’t trust Kelso to keep a good eye on him, and Kelsey always baby sits.”
I huff out a big breath, aimed upwards, so it blows the bangs out of my face. “Fine” I mutter moodily. Then I step away from my now grateful mother, grab my lunch and stuffing it in my back pack I’m out the door before she can give me a forceful hug.
I pass Vanessa’s house on the way to school, it’s just a simple part of the route. I linger at the end of her drive way, wondering why she’s so late today. Checking my watch I begin to shift my weight back and forth impatiently. We were going to be late.
Finally, a very gorgeous pair emerge from the house Vanessa’s pretty much dragging Tristan, which might be a challenge because there’s so much of him. Was I drooling? Probably. I made the absent minded motion to touch my mouth just to make sure.
Vanessa look’s great of course, not a hair out of place, and she’s followed by her ever present air of confidence. She’s wearing boot cut jeans that compliment her shape and a baggy sweater patterned with strips. A small amount of cleavage is present. I hardly notice.
My attention stolen by the very hot slab of meat being towed, apparently against his will. His almost black hair is a mess, but a very hot one, sticking up in different directions, making him look dead sexy. His eye’s are dark with annoyance, and currently smouldering.
He’s wearing a tight t-shirt and I can see the toned, but not Hollywood over done, muscle’s beneath it. Did I mention my strong urge to cuddle up on his chest and die there? His jeans are the least attractive thing about him and I’m disappointed. Your gay! I shout at him mentally. Put on some damn skinny jeans and show off your ass!
Feeling my eye’s on him.. Or more accurately, all over him, Tristan looks up and give’s me a hateful look. I shrink back, and am grateful when Vanessa save’s me by reaching my side. “Hey Jess” she greets churlishly. I raise an eyebrow.
“Sorry” she grumble’s “I’m in a bad mood. SOMEONE” she give’s me a distinct idea who this someone is, by staring him down intently “Was taking forever to get his hair just PERFECT”
Tristan snorts. “And I succeeded. Good things take time”
Vanessa rolls her eye’s. “Lets get going, before we really are late”
She grabs each of our wrists and pulls along in a speedily paced speed walk. Tristan had no problems, but with my short legs I pretty much have to jog to keep up. By the time we get to school I’m out of breath and have side pains.
I hear strange breathing patterns from Tristan’s direction and see he’s holding in laughter. He’s laughing at me for being so out of shape! Bastard. I can’t help it! I mentally scream at him, knowing there’s no way he can hear, but continuing futilely anyways. No matter what I do I can’t seem to get in shape!
Vanessa releases both of us, and is about to zoom off down the hall, when she turns back and give’s us a stern look. “We’ll meet up for lunch, okay guys?” we nod, and she focuses this next part on Tristan, though she’s addressing to both of us “If you guys see each other around please don’t kill each other”
“No promises” Tristan murmurs cheekily. I blink. Gah, I really didn’t want to die. Actually, on second thought, death might be fun if Tristan is the one causing it.
Vanessa throws her hands up in and exaggerated display of annoyance, then hurries down the halls. Me and Tristan are left staring after her for a while, then he devote’ s his attention to me. Self consciously I run a hand through my hair. He narrows his eye’s at me, and I slowly lower my hand as if not to offend him. You did whatever you could no matter how ridiculous to keep guys like Tristan on you good side, cuz gay or not, the guy was a fucking tank!
“See you at lunch” He practically growls disdainfully. Then he winks.
My mouth must have lolled open, because he snickers, then pivots on his heel, heading for his next class. Umm.. Wow? I’m left with a blank face, and confused mixed emotions. On one hand, wow that guy had a sexy smirk, plus he played for my team. One the other hand… I was not coming out of the closet. Not in high school! Also, I wasn’t the type to fall for a guy who was completely mean to me.
He was probably just teasing, right? He did think I was a homophobe after all. Right? Right!?
Unless… Oh, I needed to talk to Vanessa! If she did what I think she did, she’s going to get it!
*******************
I had Vanessa in my science class, which conveniently was just before lunch. At our school you change lab partners every day and couldn’t have the same lab partner twice in the same week. That made me grateful that today was only Wednesday and me and Nessa hadn’t been partners yet.
I mouthed to her across the room if she wanted to be partners. She shrugged and mouthed sure, shooting me the thumbs up. I smiled faintly and nodded. When we were seated together at the back of the room, supposed to be doing something that involved diagrams and partials and what not, I started talking in a low annoyed whisper.
“Hey, Nessa?” I asked
“Mhm?” she replied, working on the diagram
“Did you… uhh. Did you tell your brother that I’m the big.. ‘G’ word?”
For a moment my words didn’t process to her, then her head snapped to look at me, hurt and offence deep in her eye’s. “Of course not!” she hissed, louder then necessary. I blushed, sorry I’d asked. I felt foolish for distrusting Vanessa, she’d never sell me out.
“Ok. I’m sorry, really. It’s just..” I trailed off, making her anger dull a little and curiosity spark.
“What?” she prompted.
“Hmm?” I replied, acting dumb. I didn’t really want to tell her.
“Well you have to tell me now” she whined.
“It’s umm nothing” I said quickly, and turned to our work.
“Jessie” she whined.
“I was just being a bit egotistic.” I sighed
“How so?”
“Well” I drew the word out until I needed to pause for air. I sucked on the inside’s of my cheeks. “It just, maybe, kinda, seemed like, maybe..”
“Just spit it out!” she ordered, cracking a smile at my embarrassment and reluctance.
“That your brother was flirting with me”
Silence.
“Yeah I know, egotistic, right? I just thought maybe..”
She was grinning at me.
“What?” I asked dumbfounded.
She shook her head, as if saying ‘no I can’t say’
“What is it?” I asked, the table’s turned so I was the curious one.
She bit down on her lip, and shook her head again, her hair flying all around her.
“That’s mean!” I sulked.
“Well.” she said, after an eternity had passed. “How do you….how do you know he wasn’t flirting?”
I blinked, eyebrows flying up. Then I snorted. “Yeah right” I mumbled, chewing on a pencil so I wouldn’t have to look at her.
“What did he do anyways?” she asked in her nosy little way.
“Oh nothing”
“You have to tell me” she said logically.
“Why?”
“Because you just ruined my pencil” she replied, taking the bitten pencil from my hands.
I sighed. “He just winked. I think he was teasing me. For being a homophobe, you know?”
“No he was definitely flirting” she informed me.
“How do you know?”
“Cuz he might, just might, have said he thinks your cute” she said offhandedly, like the blabbing of that secret wasn’t so bad if she didn’t look at me well revealing it. She turned back in time to catch my reaction though.
“Me?” I question, trying to get it through my brain.
“Yes you” she laughs.
“Why on earth..?”
“Well cuz your kinda cute in a puppy dog way.”
“Gee thanks” I mutter sarcastically. Gay or not, being called cute in a puppy dog way was not on the top of my list. Vanessa smile’s at me now.
“Soo?” she probe’s.
“What?” I ask confused. She give’s me a ‘duh’ look, like it’s completely obvious what she was hinting. “Soo, how do you feel about being called cute? Oh, and the wink?”
I think it over for a minute, stealing back her pencil and nibbling on it. She give’s me an ‘Eww’ look. “Frightened.” I say finally.
“Huh” she says, disappointed.
“What?” I enquire.
“Nothing, I just thought maybe you’d be flattered or something.”
I look away to hide my blush, but she see’s it, easily creeping up my neck. She squeals in girlish delight at her being right. “You more then flattered” she state’s in hyperactive amusement. “You like him” she sings in a childish voice.
I stick my tongue out at her, but don’t reply.
She’s about to say something else frantic and girly about relationships and all that jazz went the bell rings, cutting her off. We gather our stuff, getting ready for lunch. When we slip into the halls that are mostly empty she starts her excited chatter again in a hushed voice.
“Soo. You like him?”
I shrug. I thought he was very attractive and all, but he was mean, and scared me a little.
“Do you?” she asks, poking me in the side.
“A little. But he scare’s the crap out of me. Why do you care so much anyways, isn’t it weird for you?”
It’s her turn to shrug now. “Well, kind of. But really, I’m more happy for you two then anything else. You’ve both been lonely for a really long time.”
“STILL are lonely” I clarified, making her pout.
“You don’t have to be”
“You know my reasons, so no arguing” I tell her in a teacher like voice.
“No arguing about what?” Tristan asks, catching up to us from behind.
My heart flip flops. I’m feeling very grateful that he hadn’t been here moments ago to catch the last few fragments of conversation. Tristan forces his way between us as we head for the outdoor cafeteria. Being right after summer vacation it was nice to eat outside.
“No arguing about favourite hair colors” Vanessa state’s. I give her a ‘huh’ look, but she just winks slyly.
“Oh. Explain?” Tristan asks, intrigued as I am.
“Well, we were talking about hair colors we like on guys” long pause “Oh and girls, and Jessie here was just explaining how he likes thick dark hair, cut like a shag.” another pause, this one much shorter. “Hmm, kind of like you Tristan”
Tristan’s eye’s cut side ways to give me a once over, his face set in a naughty but very sexy smirk. “Huh.” he state’s, his voice a little husky “How about you Vanessa? Have any preference’s?” Vanessa looks thoughtful for a moment. “Not really” she finally admits.
“How about you Tristan?” she tease’s.
He doesn’t go thoughtful, just turns to look directly at me, staring in my eye’s, his seductive green one’s entrance me, and I think my inside’s might melt. “I like blonds” he informs us, though I should really just say me, because it’s me he’s brutally drowning with his eye’s.
I’m pretty sure I go red all over, and I quickly look down, letting my hair cover my face. I feel Tristan’s eye’s slowly creep over my body again, taking their time, now that he thinks I’m to embarrassed to notice, before we walk outside, into the fresh air and sunlight.
Kids sit scattered at the picnic table’s. Me and Vanessa’s three other friends sit clumped together at one of these table’s. It was always crowded at our table, having five people there. Now with Tristan joining us until he got his own friends (lord let that be soon!) it was gong to be packed.
A still satisfied looking Vanessa leads our way.
The three people at the table look up at us. The first of which is Abbey. She has long red brown hair that falls to her waist. Her nose had a stud nose ring lodged in it, and her hair had a long black streak in it. She’s a classic rocker punk chick, and is very trendy. Her eye’s are dark brown, and eager and friendly, though that might have something to do with the hunk that walks between me and Vanessa.
The other two me and Nessa have secretly nicknamed ‘The problems’. We’ve called them this since me and Nessa were best friends, and Abbeys the only one who knows we call them that, she sometime’s even partakes in the teasing.
The problems are identical twins with opposite personalities. One is named Evan and the other is Devon. The only way to tell them apart is that Evan is a little shorter, a little slimmer and a little paler. Not to mention the fact that Devon has rippling muscle’s all over. Both are attractive, with their secretive brown eye’s and their wavy brown hair. Evan has a long straight nose though, well Devon’s has been broken many a time, well playing sports or getting into fights.
Evan is a complete book worm. He’s brilliant, charming, friendly, and humbly handsome. Whereas Devon is a complete athlete partier, who flaunts his good looks, and high lights his thick muscle’s. He’s constantly behind this class or that, and only manages to pass with Evans help.
We’ve nicknamed these two ‘the problems’ because Vanessa has a huge crush on Evan. Evan however is far to shy to make a move for a girl like Vanessa, no matter how obvious Vanessa make’s it that she’s interested. That’s problem number one.
The other problem is Devon. He love’s Vanessa, but is far to coy and flaunting for her taste. Not to mention that he’s way to dumb. She needs someone who’s going to grow up to be a doctor or lawyer, and Evan is the one she wants for that, not party boy Devon. That would be problem number two.
I watch as Tristan give’s the problems once over’s. I’m suddenly grateful their not gay. For some reason it bothers me immensely that Tristan would do that. I don’t know why, considering were not together or anything. But he’d said I was cute. Why was he looking at them?
His eye’s are coolly assessing when we make it to the table. Abby and the problems are all focused on Tristan now, as if to politely say ‘who’s this’. They sit on one side of the bench, leaving us three to fill the other side. I give Vanessa a please-don’t-make-me-sit-next-to-Tristan look.
She rolls her eye’s in return. “Hey guys. This is my gay brother Tristan. He’s from California, and well, he’ll be eating and hanging out with us from now on.” wow. Way to get to the point.
They all stare at her for a moment, well Tristan tries hard not to laugh. They have that deer caught in a head light look in their eye’s. Suddenly I want to laugh to, for I never notice before that my crowd was homophobic.
Vanessa take’s her seat, ignoring how awkward they seem, and pulls out her lunch. Crap! Now either way I have to sit next to Tristan, which I didn’t want to do when we were all smushed together as closely as we’d have to be.
Tristan shrugs, and take’s his seat as well, leaving the middle seat the only one open for me. I swallow, and can just imagine Vanessa’s victorious dancing eye’s. “Nice to meet you” Evan says politely, even though it’s already been a minute or so.
Tristan nods coldly, pulling out a sandwich. Abby doesn’t look disgusted as the problems do, just disappointed. I don’t really blame her. Who wouldn’t want that yummy package of manly sweetness? Grrr, I grumble to myself. Bad! No thinking like that.
“Are you sitting or what?” Vanessa pulls me back to the present with her question.
“Umm.. I think maybe I forgot…” I scramble for an excuse, but by then Tristan is pulling me down to the bench. “Oh for Christ sake’s, gayness isn’t something you can catch, so sitting next to me won’t kill you” he informs me.
“Mhm” I reply. But I didn’t need to catch gayness, and sitting next to this muscled beast of a man was making me think about doing.. Other stuff. And that was a no-no in public, because I might end up with uncomfortable results if I let my thoughts stray to far.
There was awkwardness around the table, until Vanessa spoke through a mouthful of PB&J “So who’s excited for the fall dance?” she probe’s.
Evan looks a little uncertain well he answers “I guess I’m excited”
“Good.” Vanessa says, pouncing. “Then you’ll save me a dance?”
Before a very embarrassed Evan can answer, his brother chimed in. “Then maybe we could dance together to?” he asked coyly. “If my identical twin is good enough, I can’t be so ugly to be rejected, can I?”
“Actually, your not completely identical soo…” Abby laughed at Vanessa’s bluntness.
This was our normal lunch babble, though I felt bad for Tristan. No one tried to include him in the conversation but Vanessa, though he really wasn’t helping himself by being so cold. It might have something to do with the gay joke’s Devon kept sliding into the conversation.
Anyways, we’d been talking like normal, and Abby and Evan were now debating who was the worst teacher at this school, and Devon was trying to tell them that it wasn’t a teacher at all, it was the librarian, but they were ignoring him, because they both adored her.
When, Vanessa spoke casually to me. “Jessie, move over” she ordered.
“You have plenty of room” I protested.
“I’d have more if you moved over” she pointed out.
I glowered, because this was obviously another ploy to get me closer to Tristan. “Fine” I sighed.
I moved over a little, and Vanessa chased me down the bench, so we were as close as we’d been before. “Move more then that” she complained.
I gave her a dirty look, but obeyed.
My eye’s had been on Vanessa as a moved closer to Tristan so I pretty much jumped out of my skin when I realised how close we were now. His breath danced across my cheek as he turned to see what we were talking about. Hairs rose on the back of my neck.
We were pressed right against each other, the warmth of his arm and feel of his leg sending tingles through me. Gah. I wasn’t used to being touched, having been deprived of hugs as a child, and completely inexperienced on sexual touching, being gay and in the closet, so being pressed against someone so attractive was making little shivers of pleasure dance through me.
The conversation around us continued, but I failed to pay attention now. “Move over, I have no room now” I said to Vanessa, trying my best to kept my voice low. It seemed to want to go nine octaves higher. “Should have thought of that before” she says, sticking her tongue out at me.
After taking another bite of food, Tristan casually brings his hand down… and rests it on my thigh! His fingers curl towards the inside of my leg, and I’m starting to have.. Trouble in my downstairs section. It’s just an accident, I tell myself. He’s not trying to make you feel this way.
I look up to see Tristan’s watching my reaction. He smile’s a very small smile.
I blink. Oh my god, I’m being seduced in public!
Seeing my franticness the smile turns into a smirk. He checks over at Vanessa, who was no longer paying attention to us, and was listening to the conversation intently. He slides his hand further up and.. that’s all I can take!
I jump up in a rush. “I’ve gotta piss” I announce, then hurry away, seeing all the quizzical face’s look at me. I stalk down the halls in the bathroom without paying attention to where I walk, knowing my feet will take me he right way.
Luckily, I avoided a… a serious problem downstairs, so no worries. I’m simply going to the bathroom to hide. Tristan was so, so, so… annoyingly hot! There, I’d just described it perfectly. He did not at all deserve his hotness, and god was evil to give it to him!
The way he’d smirked… gah, I’d wanted to kiss that fucking smirk right off his face! But he was toying with me. That’s what seniors did. That’s what guys like him did. I’d just avoid the crap out of him, and convince Vanessa to hang out at my house more often
I stayed in the bathroom until the bell rang for next period.
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