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When Luke and Young finally stepped back inside the frat house, everything felt different. It was like stepping back into a completely different universe from the quiet Boston streets where their hearts had just been peeled wide open. They didn’t speak. They didn’t look at each other. They just split apart wordlessly, Young merging into the crowd while Luke drifted toward familiar faces.
Eli and Nate were still attached at the lips on a couch, blissfully unaware Luke had vanished for nearly an hour. Typical.
Luke barely had time to breathe before Gabe barreled into view, tall and intimidating and frazzled. “Where the hell did you go?” he demanded.
Luke waved a hand like nothing mattered. “Just needed some air.”
Gabe squinted. He clearly knew something was up, but thankfully chose not to interrogate him here.
Luke scanned the crowd again. No Noah. With his stomach twisting, he pulled out his phone and dialled. One ring. Two. Three. Voicemail. He tried again. Voicemail straight away this time. Anxiety clawed at his ribs. Noah wasn’t the type to just disappear without saying something. Especially not at a college party where anything could happen. He was much too smart for that.
Luke shoved his phone into his pocket and glued himself to Gabe’s side like a shadow for the rest of the night. Gabe didn’t mind or comment, like maybe he knew Luke needed somebody close.
Eventually, Eli and Nate stumbled over, flushed and grinning, Nate’s arm wrapped tightly around Eli’s waist.
“We’re calling it!” Eli announced far too loudly. “My boyfriend is tired and also we should leave before I start breakdancing.”
Nate nodded. “He almost did.”
Right then, Young reappeared, like fate had good timing for once, and walked straight to Gabe. “Hey. Change of plans,” Young said casually. “I’m not staying with Ryan tonight. I’ll crash with you guys instead. For old times sake.”
Gabe’s eyebrows flew up. “What? Really? Uh, awesome.” There was relief in his voice. Gratitude, maybe. Excitement? Luke wasn’t sure.
Eli pumped a victorious fist. “YES. A classic Gabe-and-Young sleepover except now there’s FIVE OF US and we’re cooler and older and—”
“Six,” Luke interjected. “Where’s Noah?”
Eli and Nate looked around in confusion.
“Huh,” Eli mumbled. “I have no idea.”
“Really?” Luke frowned.
“He was here a while ago,” Nate frowned. “Said something about going to find you.”
“Oh?” Luke swallowed.
“I’m sure he’ll turn up. Have you text him?” Eli asked.
“I called him a bunch of times. It’s just going straight to voicemail.”
“I’ll text him to let him know we’re going back to campus and to meet us there,” Eli said.
“Thanks,” Luke mumbled.
“Let’s go!” Eli screeched. “Our sleepover awaits!”
“You will get kicked out if you yell like that,” Nate warned, tugging him toward the door.
They all spilled into the cool night air—the five of them, together again. Gabe led the way back toward his dorm, joking with Eli and Nate while Young walked a careful, quiet distance behind them. Luke trailed beside him, but the uneasy silence between them held steady now, no longer angry, just complicated.
He forced another glance at his phone. Still nothing from Noah. His pulse throbbed in his throat as they crossed campus. Every minute Noah didn’t respond was another brick of fear in his chest. Gabe was laughing with Eli about something stupid. Nate was whispering something into Eli’s hair. Young shoved his hands deeper into his jacket pockets, head down against the cold.
And Luke? luke kept replaying Noah’s voicemail prompt in his head, over and over, like a warning. Because something was wrong and he could feel it in his bones.
As they walked, Luke kept glancing sideways at Young. The silence between them wasn’t hostile anymore, but it wasn’t easy either. Then something shifted. Young slowed… eyes flicking toward Gabe ahead of them. Luke watched the hesitation, the way Young debated retreating into himself again. But instead, he let out a tiny breath, gathered whatever courage he still had left and stepped forward. He nudged Gabe’s shoulder—light, playful, familiar.
Gabe stumbled half a step, then stared at Young like he wasn’t sure if he should be offended or ecstatic. Young rolled his eyes dramatically.
“Don’t crash into me, giant,” he muttered.
“Giant?” Gabe echoed.
Luke felt pride bloom so big in his chest it almost hurt. That right there was the Youngjae he had missed. Gabe practically beamed. He slung an arm around Young’s neck and said something Luke couldn’t hear, but Young didn’t shove him away. He actually smiled and casually wrapped an arm around his best friends waist to keep him close.
Luke swallowed, warmth rising into his throat. Whatever happened next… at least that part was healing.
They finally reached Gabe’s dorm building soon after, the towering brick and glowing windows against the night sky. That’s when Luke saw Noah. He was sitting on a bench out front. Hoodie up. Hands shoved in his pockets. Looking like a storm cloud left out in the cold. Luke’s heart dropped straight to the pavement.
Before Luke could speak, Young stepped in with a leader’s voice. “Come on, let’s get inside,” he said, directing Eli and Nate toward the entrance. “Gabe, you too.”
Gabe turned, confused. “But Noah looks—”
“I’ll talk to him,” Luke cut in quickly. “Don’t worry.”
Noah’s eyes flicked upwards toward Luke at that, sharp and unreadable, but he didn’t stand up from the bench. He just looked down quickly. Gabe hesitated where he stood, his gaze bouncing between the two boys like he didn’t trust leaving Noah’s mood unexplained.
But Young nudged his arm again. “Come on,” he said quietly. “Let them handle it.”
Eli and Nate had already disappeared inside.
Finally, Gabe relented, though suspicion lingered in the crease of his brows. “You sure?” he asked Luke.
Luke nodded. “Yeah. I’ll be up soon.”
Gabe stared one more second like he was silently promising consequences if anything hurt his baby brother, then he followed Young and the others inside. The door shut behind them with a dull thump. Now it was just him and Noah.
Luke stepped forward, his breath visible in the cold night air. “Hi,” he said.
Noah didn’t look at him. Didn’t move. Just stared straight ahead like his thoughts were a brick wall Luke wasn’t allowed to climb. Luke’s stomach twisted. Something was definitely wrong.
“Noah…?” Luke said softly.
Still nothing.
Luke approached slowly, heart suddenly pounding. If Noah was blatantly ignoring him, then it must have been serious. Noah was still sat stiffly on the bench, staring at the ground. His jaw was clenched tight, fists balled on his knees.
“Noah,” Luke said again softly. “Are you okay?”
Noah finally turned his head. His eyes were sharp, burning. “Where the hell were you?”
Luke flinched. “I—I went to get some air.”
“No.” Noah stood abruptly. “You disappeared.”
“What? No, I…”
“You disappeared, Luke. Right after that guy walked in the house.”
Luke’s stomach dropped. “Noah—”
“Were you with him?” Noah demanded, venom creeping into every word. “Just tell me.”
Luke opened his mouth to reply… but fear stopped the truth from coming out clean. Noah seemed angry and Luke had never seen him like this before. They were best friends. Noah didn’t get angry. He was always calm, collected and kind. Not whatever this was. “I just—I needed air,” Luke repeated. “It was too loud in there.”
Noah laughed. A humourless, broken sound. “You think I’m stupid?”
No, I definitely don’t think you’re stupid, Luke thought. But all that came out was, “can we just go inside and talk? Or we can sit in your car. I don’t really wanna do this out here.”
“Why? Are you embarrassed?” Noah asked flatly.
Luke looked around noticing that other people were walking around despite the late hour. “Kinda. I mean, I don’t wanna fight out here like this.”
“Who says we’re gonna fight?” Noah asked gruffly. “Did you do something to warrant a fight?”
“No,” Luke replied quickly. “No, Noah. I didn’t.”
“Then where the hell did you go for all that time?” Noah snapped, taking a step towards Luke. “And really think about how you’re going to answer me before you speak, Luke. Because if you lie to me, I swear to God.”
Luke’s throat tightened. He looked down at the ground and then back up at Noah who was unintentionally towering over him. In that very moment, Luke felt fucking intimidated. He felt small. He felt weak. “Okay, yes. Fine. I did leave. Okay? I left the frat house and I talked to him for a little while. But we were just talking. It wasn’t—”
“So you lied to me,” Noah interrupted in a sharp voice. “You left me alone in a place I’ve never been, with people I don’t know, so you could sneak around with him.”
Luke shook his head hard. “No. No, Noah, it wasn’t like that. We were just talking—”
“Talking?” Noah laughed bitterly. “A whole hour?”
“Yes, I swear. We…we had a lot to discuss.”
“Oh, yeah? About how much you missed him and couldn’t stand being away from him?”
“No, no. It wasn’t like that,” Luke said quickly, his heart pounding. “Gabe told me that he and Young have been having issues and I just thought I would—”
“Sneak off with him and then lie to me about it?” Noah interrupted.
“Noah,” Luke tried again, voice weak, “please just listen to me. Calm down.”
“Did you kiss him?”
The question cracked in the air like a whip.
“What? No!” Luke gasped. “I swear, I wouldn’t— I would never do that to you.”
“But you wanted to. Didn’t you?” Noah stepped even closer again, eyes darting over Luke’s face like he was searching for the answer he feared most. “The second you saw him, you forgot I even existed.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is true, Luke! I’m not blind. I know what I saw! Especially when he was playing lacrosse. And don’t you dare pretend you aren’t still hung up on him because you so clearly are.”
Tears stung the corners of Luke’s eyes. “I’m trying, okay? I’m trying so hard to figure everything out—”
“Oh my god,” Noah scoffed. “This is pathetic. You’re pathetic, Luke. Just say it. Say that you’d drop me in a heartbeat if he snapped his fingers and suddenly wanted you. But oh wait, he doesn’t want you. Does he? That much is obvious. Because if he did want you, he never would have gotten a boyfriend when he came to college and he never would have ghosted you after New Years after the two of you kissed! It’s pathetic that you can’t see what he really is. He’s just using you, Luke. He’s fucking using you and I bet Gabe won’t be happy at all when he learns the truth about what’s been going on behind closed doors. He would never forgive you both.”
Luke backed up a step as the tears finally spilled down his cheeks. “Why are you saying this? Why are you doing this? I’m with you, Noah. I’m in a relationship with you and I really like you and I—”
“You don’t,” Noah spit. “You like the way I treat you, and you like being wanted. But him? You want him more, and you know it.”
Luke shook his head in desperation. “No. It’s not true. Noah, please can we just—”
“No,” Noah cut in, voice low and shaking. “You listen to me.” His fingers dug into the fabric of Luke’s sleeves, holding him in place. “You are mine. You’re my boyfriend,” he said, brutal and possessive. “Not his. You don’t get to just wander off whenever he shows up. You don’t get to make me look like an idiot.”
Luke felt his knees weaken. “Noah, you’re hurting me,” he whispered.
Noah’s grip loosened a fraction, but his eyes stayed cold. “Then stop making me feel like a second choice. I’m tired of it, Luke. I’ve tried to be patient and understanding but this just tops the cake. I spend the whole night looking for my boyfriend who walked away with another fucking guy!”
Luke’s breath hitched, and he pushed Noah’s hands away. “I’m no one’s property,” he said, voice trembling. “Not yours. Not his. I’m my own person and I can talk to whoever the hell I want!”
For a moment, they just stared at each other, both breathing hard and both shaking for different reasons. Noah looked away first, jaw ticking, teeth grinding like he was forcing back another explosion.
“Go ahead then,” he muttered. “Run back to him. Maybe he’ll screw you in the dorm bathroom instead of behind some trees this time. Real fucking romantic, huh?”
Luke’s heart tore in half. “What? That’s not fair,” he whispered. “You’re not being fair.”
“Fair?” Noah asked in a low voice, hands digging into Luke’s arm again. “You know what’s not fair? The fact that I’ve been here this whole time, showering you in all this love and affection and yet you still ditch me the second he comes into the picture again.”
Luke sniffled and tugged his arm out of Noah’s grip. “I just wanted to talk to him to fix whatever the hell was going on between him and Gabe.”
Noah scoffed again, clearly not believing him.
Luke swallowed hard, wiped under his eyes, and stepped back. “We’ll talk when you’re calm,” he mumbled. And then he quickly turned and walked toward the dorm building, not because he wanted to leave Noah, but because he didn’t feel safe staying in his vicinity.
Behind him, Noah didn’t say another word. But Luke could feel the weight of Noah’s glare burning into his spine the entire way to the door.
Luke didn’t even bother changing once he got back to the room. He shuffled quietly toward Gabe’s bed, hoodie still on, eyes stinging. Gabe sat up instantly, concern all over his face.
“Hey,” Gabe whispered, lifting the blankets so Luke could crawl under them. “What happened?”
Luke pressed his face into his brother’s shoulder, voice small and breaking. “Noah and I had a fight.”
“A fight? What about?”
“That I ditched him earlier.”
“So? You were getting fresh air.”
“He…he thinks I cheated.”
“What?” Gabe’s tone sharpened immediately, anger creeping into the edges. “Luke, you would never—”
“I told him I just needed air at the party,” Luke mumbled. “And he asked if I was with Young… and I lied at first but then I told him the truth and he just—” His voice cracked, tears threatening again. “He wouldn’t even listen.”
“You were with Young?” Gabe frowned, looking over at the bed on the other side of the room where his best friend was lying, phone in his hand. Young’s dark eyes flickered over and he frowned. He was clearly tuned into the conversation.
Luke nodded timidly. “I told you I would try and speak to him for you.”
“Oh,” Gabe said softly. “And…you fixed it.”
“I tried,” Luke murmured.
“I think you succeeded,” Gabe said, throwing a soft smile towards Youngjae who smiled back, eyes softening at the two brothers. Gabe curled his arm around Luke protectively, like he used to when they were children. “Look, forget it. That’s not okay,” he muttered. “No matter how upset he is, he doesn’t get to talk to you like that.”
Luke nodded but didn’t trust himself to speak. He was shaking, whether from the argument or the adrenaline, he wasn’t sure.
On the floor, Eli and Nate were both fully knocked out, blankets thrown over them, limbs sprawled everywhere in a chaotic makeshift bed. They looked peaceful, unaware of any drama.
Youngjae’s eyes were still open, sharp and focused, watching the rise and fall of Luke’s breathing, listening intensely to every soft, broken word exchanged between the two Davies. Luke could feel that stare but he kept his face buried in Gabe’s hoodie.
God, he wished he could tell Gabe everything. About why Noah had spiralled in the first place. About why Noah had accused him of cheating with the flawless Korean boy in the opposite bed. About Luke’s past and his feelings for the black haired boy. But fuck, he couldn’t. Not when Gabe thought Youngjae was just one of Luke’s friends, not the complicated half-thing that sat like a secret lodged in Luke’s ribs. And definitely not when Noah already hated Youngjae more than anyone.
Luke was well aware that Noah wasn’t in the room with them all. He hadn’t come inside. He hadn’t called. He hadn’t texted. He was simply… gone. Luke tried not to think about what that meant.
Gabe squeezed him. “Get some sleep. We’ll figure this out in the morning.”
Luke nodded numbly.
But sleep didn’t come easily. Not when Luke could feel Young still awake… watching him through the dark. Not when the secrets between them were loud enough to drown out his own heartbeat. Not when Noah’s absence felt like the start of something dangerous.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
Morning crept in slowly, soft sunlight staining the walls a pale gold. Luke woke to the sound of Eli groaning dramatically as he untangled himself from blankets, Nate mumbling into a pillow, and Gabe stretching besides him with a yawn loud enough to shake the building.
Youngjae was already up, sitting on the edge of his bed, long hair mussed and eyes distant like he’d been awake for hours. When his gaze flicked to Luke, Luke wasn’t sure what emotion passed across his face. Something complicated. Something he wasn’t ready to unpack.
“Jo-eun achim,” Youngjae mumbled.
“Jo En what?” Luke blinked.
Young’s lips curled upwards briefly. “It means good morning.”
“In Korean?”
“No, in French,” Young replied flatly.
Luke threw him a deadpanned look.
Youngjae laughed lightly and fuck…Luke had missed that sound. “Yes, in Korean you dork. Aren’t you supposed to be super smart?”
“It’s all a façade,” Gabe grumbled from behind Luke. “He’d actually super dumb.”
“Fuck off,” Luke grumbled, cheeks red.
“Watch this,” Gabe said, sitting up sharply and looked over to Young with a concentrated look on his face. “Uh…Jal Jasseo?”
Young’s face brightened and he scoffed out a laugh. “I slept well, thank you,” he replied.
“Yes!” Gabe grinned. “I’m basically half Korean now.”
“You’re teaching Gabe Korean?” Luke raised an eyebrow.
“Only a few words and phrases,” Young said.
Luke nodded in an impressed manner.
“How you feeling, squirt? Ya know, after last night?” Gabe asked from behind Luke.
And that’s when Luke’s chest tightened as reality settled in. Noah hadn’t come back.He checked his phone. No texts. No calls. No nothing. Where did he even sleep? Did he go home and leave them stranded? Did he stay with someone else? That thought alone made Luke’s stomach churn.
“You good?” Gabe asked, studying him.
Luke forced a nod. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
Young didn’t look convinced either, but he stood and smoothed his shirt, stepping toward the door. “Breakfast?”
Eli perked up at that word like a puppy. “Please. I want pancakes. And bacon. And hash browns. And—”
“We get it,” Nate grumbled, dragging himself upright. “We really need to get you some ADHD meds.”
“I don’t have ADHD,” Eli frowned.
Everyone threw him a flat look.
“Sheesh,” Eli’s shoulders dropped.
“Come on, let’s go. I’m starving,” Gabe said.
They all nodded wordlessly, got changed and then headed out.
As they walked across campus, the cold air biting at Luke’s cheeks, Gabe slung an arm around his shoulders. Protective. Comforting. Heavy. “I’m gonna miss you,” Gabe said. “My life feels quieter without you, you know? But we’ll be home in a couple months. You’ll see us in the summer.”
Luke blinked. “Us…?”
“Yeah,” Gabe frowned. “Young’s coming too. He doesn’t really have anywhere else to go, remember? We’re sharing my room again, or I might ask mom and dad to turn the basement into a make shift bedroom because we’ll be there for a while.” He nudged him. “Hope you don’t mind.”
Luke hadn’t fully processed it before—the decision Youngjae’s parents made about basically disowning him. The harsh words they had spit at him about his sexuality. Something he couldn’t control. The door effectively closed. Luke realised that Young wasn’t ‘going home’ in the Summer like all the other college kids. He didn’t have one anymore. The closest thing he had was Gabe.
Luke swallowed hard. Part of him surged with warmth, relief that Young wouldn’t be alone, that the three of them would be together again, playing video games and hanging out all day doing absolutely nothing. But the other part of him? The part that remembered Noah’s anger from the previous night. His accusations. His grip on Luke’s arm like he owned him. Luke was terrified. What would Noah do if he found out Luke was living under the same roof as Youngjae again, the boy Noah already saw as a threat?
His heart twisted painfully. He didn’t know which fear was worse: losing Noah completely, or the chaos that might come from keeping him.
Young slowed his steps until he was walking beside Luke, closer than necessary.
“You okay?” Young asked quietly.
Luke forced a faint smile that he hoped looked convincing. “Yeah,” he lied.
The truth was, no he wasn’t okay. Luke had never felt more caught in the middle of two futures, and he was absolutely terrified to choose the wrong one.
“You sure?” Youngjae asked.
Gabe looked over and Luke shuffled away from Young subtly. “I’m fine. Just worried about Noah, that’s all,” he said, loud enough for the rest to hear
Young realised he must have been too close to Luke because he nodded and shuffled away a little. “I’m sure your boyfriend will be fine.”
Luke gnawed on his lip. “He didn’t come back last night. Just stormed off.”
“Did you guys have a fight?” Eli frowned.
“Kinda,” Luke mumbled.
“What?!” Eli looked stricken. “Why?”
“It’s a long story,” Luke mumbled. It wasn’t, but he really didn’t want to get into it right now. Not in front of everyone. “Can you try calling him?”
“Sure,” Eli nodded.
Eli dialled immediately, bringing his phone up to his ear. Everyone went quiet, waiting. It barely rang once before Noah picked up.
“Oh! Hey, Noah?” Eli brightened. “Where’d you go last night?”
A beat of silence. Then Noah’s voice crackled through the speaker, sharp and tired. “Nowhere. I’m in the car. Whenever you guys are ready, we need to drop Nate at Brown and get moving. It’s a long drive.”
Luke’s stomach twisted. Noah sounded… cold.
“Okay,” Eli said, glancing awkwardly at Luke. “We’ll grab something quick and meet you.”
“Okay.” The call ended.
No good morning. No is Luke there? Nothing.
Luke shoved his hands deeper into his pockets, blinking against the sting in his eyes. He wasn’t going to cry. Not in front of everyone.
Breakfast was a blur—paper cups, rushed bites, glances exchanged in silence. Soon enough, they were standing outside Noah’s car in the parking lot, the cool Boston breeze cutting through the April morning.
Noah leaned against the driver’s seat, arms crossed. He nodded politely at Gabe, but the tension was so thick Luke could practically taste it. Gabe stared right back, jaw set like he was sizing Noah up and finding every detail insufficient. Youngjae didn’t even hide his glare. It was sharp, protective, and bitter in a way that made Luke’s heart trip. Luke hated it. Hated how obvious it was that the people he loved didn’t like each other.
“Guess this is it,” Nate sighed, fist bumping Gabe while Noah checked the time on his phone, clearly impatient and ready to go.
Gabe pulled Luke in next, squeezing him tight enough to ground him. “Text me when you get home, okay?” he said, voice low.
“I will,” Luke promised. “Thanks for… everything.”
“You don’t have to thank me. You’re my brother,” Gabe said firmly. “Always.”
“Bye Gabe,” Eli grinned.
“See you later, Eli,” Gabe rolled his eyes playfully. “And I swear, stop tagging me in those memes or I will block you.”
“You’d never block me,” Eli winked.
“Get out of here,” Gabe grumbled.
Nate laughed and shoved Eli into the backseat of the car before he could say anything else.
Youngjae stepped forward next. Suddenly, Luke forgot how to breathe. They stopped a few feet apart, close enough to feel, far enough to hide. Luke shoved his hands into his hoodie pockets so he wouldn’t reach for Young. Young shifted like his body wanted to move toward Luke for a hug but he was forcing himself to stay completely still.
“Take care of yourself,” Young murmured.
“You too,” Luke swallowed thickly, eyes flicking to Noah. “See you this summer,” he added quietly.
Young nodded once, something heavy flickering in his eyes. “Yeah. Summer.”
“I might be a real boy by then. Depending on when they schedule my surgery,” Luke found himself saying, forcing a small laugh.
Young frowned and looked utterly heartbroken at Luke’s words. “You already are a real boy, Luke.”
Luke’s fake smile faltered. “Yeah,” he swallowed thickly. “I guess.”
Gabe’s eyes flickered between them from where he stood on the side, but he never said a word.
It felt like there was more to say, so much more, but the weight of Noah’s gaze behind him kept Luke in place, trapped behind invisible walls. His fingers twitched. Young’s foot slid the tiniest bit closer. But that was all. A silent almost-hug. A goodbye that wasn’t enough.
“Let’s go,” Noah called, already climbing into the car.
Luke forced himself to step back. To turn away. But when he opened the passenger door, he looked up one more time. Young was still watching him, and Luke wondered if he was walking away from something he wasn’t ready to lose. Again.
・・・・・૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა・・・・・
The sky outside was already dark by the time they finally rolled into town. Six hours of silence, strained jokes, and music barely masking the tension that had left Luke exhausted in a way that sleep wouldn’t fix.
Noah had dropped Eli off first. Eli had hovered awkwardly by the door for a second too long, glancing back and forth between Luke and Noah like he wanted to say something, or fix something, but instead he just gave Luke a tight hug from behind and slipped out without another word.
Then it was just the two of them.
Now the car idled at the curb in front of Luke’s house, headlights casting long beams across the driveway. Everything was quiet except Noah’s uneven breathing and the ticking sound of the engine cooling. Luke stared straight ahead, fingers twisting in his lap. He could practically feel the conversation looming over them like a storm cloud—dark, unavoidable, and coming fast.
Noah hadn’t unlocked the doors and neither of them had moved. God,what the hell was happening between them? This didn’t feel like the Noah Luke had met a year ago. That Noah was sweet, caring and kind. He was gentle. He didn’t grab arms and lash out. He listened attentively and he caressed with soothing words. What the fuck was happening right now?
This is all my fault, Luke thought. I did this. I made him like this.
Luke swallowed. “We should probably talk about last night.”
Noah let out a small sigh, eyes still on the windshield. “Yeah,” he said flatly. “I figured.”
The silence crackled. Luke dared a glance sideways. Noah’s knuckles were white around the steering wheel. His jaw was clenched tight, like he was physically holding himself together to keep from exploding. Noah looked different, and for a moment, Luke thought about how deep Noah’s feelings for him truly ran. He knew that he and Noah were best friends. They had practically been joint at the hip as soon as they had met and Luke did really like him. But was Luke in love with him? He wasn’t sure. It was too early for that. Right??
Luke’s heart thudded painfully. “Okay, look… about last night—”
“Were you with Young?” Noah asked simply, his voice low but sharp.
Luke’s breath stuttered. Seriously? This is where they were going to start? “I already told you last night—” he started.
Noah looked over at him, and the hurt in his eyes knocked the wind out of Luke entirely. “Did you leave the party with Young last night or not?” This time the words shook. Raw. Real.
Luke felt the lump in his throat swell. He didn’t want to lie again despite already telling Noah the truth yesterday. “Yeah,” he whispered. “Yes. I was.”
Noah looked away. “Where did you go?” he asked in a low voice.
Luke hesitated. “We just went for a walk.”
“A walk where?”
“Around Boston,” Luke shrugged pathetically. “I don’t know. I didn’t know the area. We just walked and talked.”
“Talked?” Noah repeated, eyes still on his steering wheel. “What did you talk about?”
Luke licked his lips nervously. “Mostly Gabe.”
“Mostly?”
“And his parents.”
“His parents?” Noah frowned and glanced over at Luke. “Why did you talk about Young’s parents? What do they have to do with any of this?”
“Nothing,” Luke said. “Well, I mean they kinda, uh…”
Noah stared at Luke impatiently.
“They disowned him,” Luke explained. “Because of his sexaulity. His parents are getting a divorced and they both refuse to speak to him until he, I don’t know, turns straight again or whatever.”
“They disowned him?” Noah asked slowly. Luke nodded timidly. For a moment, he thought he saw some sympathy in Noah’s eyes. But then Noah’s face hardened again. “And let me guess, when he said he will see you in the Summer, he meant that he’s staying with your family because his own family has abandoned him, right? He’s going to be living with you, isn’t he?”
Luke swallowed thickly. “He’s Gabe’s best friend.”
“That doesn’t answer my question,” Noah snapped.
“Yes,” Luke said quickly. “I think so. I don’t know. We…we didn’t really…”
“What? You didn’t really talk about his living arrangements? We’re you too busy having a heart to heart about your feelings or something? Did he say how much he missed you? Did you tell him you missed him too and that you were only with me because of convenience?” Noah shot out.
“It wasn’t like that—” Luke reached for his arm, but Noah jerked away like the touch burned.
“Then what was it like?” Noah snapped, voice rising. “Because from where I’m standing, you left me alone at a party, ran straight to your ex-hookup, and didn’t even bother telling me where the hell you went.”
Luke bit down on his lip, panic swirling in his chest. “Youngjae isn’t—he isn’t my ex. And we weren’t even—”
“Oh my god,” Noah interrupted, angry disbelief twisting his face. “Do you hear yourself? You can’t even label what he is to you because you never let him go.”
Luke flinched.
Noah’s breathing was heavy now, like each word was costing him pieces of himself. “You say you’re with me, but you haven’t stopped thinking about him since New Years, have you?”
“That’s not true,” Luke whispered.
Noah’s eyes glistened with something dangerously close to tears. “Is it not? Because Luke… it really fucking feels true.”
Luke didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to defend himself when part of him feared Noah was right. He cared about Young. Maybe he cared too much. But he cared about Noah, too. Before everything, they were best friends.
“Noah, please,” Luke begged, voice breaking.
“Please what?” Noah asked sharply. “I’ve done everything I possibly can to make you understand how much I actually love you, Luke. And you’ve treated me like a second option the whole time.”
Love?
Holy fuck.
“You…” Luke swallowed thickly, eyes watering. “You love me?”
Noah softened, then looked away. “Of course I love you,” he murmured, all anger and annoyance suddenly gone from his voice. If anything, now he just sounded defeated. “How could I not love you? You mean everything to me.”
“You mean everything to me too,” Luke replied quickly.
“It’s not the same,” Noah shook his head.
“It is,” Luke said desperately.
“No, it’s not.”
“Noah, I love you too.” The words felt like they were ripped out of Luke. He hadn’t even realised he had said it until he saw Noah’s expression crumple. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe it was just the emotions talking. But Luke did. He loved Noah. He didn’t know whether he was in love with him, but he certainly did love him. “I love you. You mean so much to me. Ever since we met, I feel like you were a missing part of my life, ya know? I…I don’t know what I would do without you. We fit. Right?”
“If you feel that way, then why do I feel like I’m losing you?” Noah asked in a small voice.
Luke’s heart shattered. He reached out again, slower this time. Noah didn’t pull away. Their fingers threaded together, weak and trembling. Luke leaned in, resting his forehead against Noah’s, eyes closing. “You’re not losing me, Noah,” he breathed. “I’m right here. You’re my best friend. I never wanna lose you.”
“But what if—”
“But nothing,” Luke interjected. “You’re my boyfriend. Nobody else. You said we were happy together, remember? That hasn’t changed.”
“But Young is—”
“Young is Gabe’s best friend,” Luke interrupted. “Nothing more, nothing less.”
Noah eyed him wearily. “You swear?”
Luke swallowed and took a few seconds to respond. “I swear.”
That was all the promise Noah needed.
A/N: what’s your honest opinion on Luke?
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