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The next morning, Luke and Noah got ready to leave their lavish hotel room, all the while sending bashful smiles to each other. Luke couldn’t believe he had given his boyfriend a blowjob last night, and definitely couldn’t believe that he had allowed Noah to touch his chest and his binder.
Onwards and upwards, as they say.
They had called Eli to ask whether he was staying with Nate or whether he wanted to join the two boys on their trip to Harvard. Eli had happily told his best friends that he and Nate had made up last night and would happily tag along to see Gabe.
So off they went, the four of them, in Noah’s car to Harvard.
The sky was a watery blue above them, streaked with early spring sunlight as they pulled out of Providence. Noah’s car hummed along the highway, the music low and mellow with some playlist he insisted was perfect for road trips. Luke kept stealing glances at him over the center console, the memory of last night still pulsing hot beneath his skin.
Every time their eyes met, Noah’s mouth curved into a little half-smirk like; Yeah, we did that.
Luke turned toward the backseat for distraction.
Eli was curled into Nate’s side, dozing off to sleep with a smile on his lips only true reconciliation could give. Nate had insisted on coming with them, partly to apologise for his absence and cold shoulder again (he’d been a mess, apparently), and partly because he wanted to meet Gabe again. Luke still had a hard time reconciling the dramatic and angry guy he had seen the previous day with the blissed-out happy teddy bear in the backseat right now. It was kind of crazy.
Is this what college does to people? Make them go crazy and withdrawn? God, Luke was in for a hell of a ride if that was the case.
Noah tapped the steering wheel. “So, strategy.”
Luke blinked. “Strategy?”
“Meeting Gabe.” Noah shot him a nervous grin. “I kinda need to know what level of intimidation to prepare for.”
Luke snorted and shook his head. “He’s only going to be intimidating if you’re dating me. Other than that, he’s super nice.”
“Oh, so only 100% intimidating then, because the last time I checked, we are dating,” Noah deadpanned.
Luke nudged his knee. “You’ll be fine. He thinks he’s the cool older brother, so just shower him in lots of compliments and you’ll be fine. That’s pretty much all you need to know.”
“And the part where he’d murder me if I hurt you,” Noah added.
“Well, yeah.” Luke shrugged like that was obvious. “But I think you’ll pass.”
Noah gave him a softer look then, fingers brushing Luke’s briefly on the console. “Thanks for… trusting me last night.”
Luke’s chest tightened, but in a good way. “Thanks for being patient with me.” Then, lower, “And gentle.”
Noah squeezed his hand before returning both to the wheel, cheeks faintly pink. “I care about you. You know that, right?”
Luke nodded. Hard. “I do.”
In the backseat, Nate stirred. “Are we there yet?” he mumbled, eyes half-open.
“No,” Eli said instantly, tightening his grip around Nate’s arm. “Go back to sleep.”
The boy blinked once… and did exactly that.
Luke chuckled before turning back to Noah. He gnawed on his bottom lip and recalled the odd look on Noah’s face from the previous night when he had mentioned about going to Harvard. Noah had the same look on his face when Luke had told him about his three top choices for college. He knew why Noah often got that distant look on his face and it was time to address it. As gently as he could, he spoke. “So, Harvard,” he started.
“Harvard,” Noah nodded.
Luke swallowed hard and decided to just go for it. “Youngjae’s probably gonna be there.”
“I figured,” Noah said, his voice steady. But his jaw tensed, just a little.
Luke exhaled slowly. “Is that… okay?”
Noah’s fingers drummed lightly on the steering wheel, considering. “It will be.” He glanced over, earnest. “Because you’re with me.”
Luke’s heart tugged.
God, he really is falling for me.
Luke liked the idea of Noah being this into him, but also it was a little daunting. What if Luke did something wrong?
“Our relationship is great,” Noah said matter of factly. Luke looked over at him. “Right?”
“Right,” Luke said quickly, nodding. “Of course it is.”
“And you’re happy,” Noah said. It didn’t sound like a question. More like a statement.
But still, Luke nodded. “Yes. I’m happy.”
“And you like me.”
“I like you,” Luke confirmed.
“Good,” Noah said firmly. “So then I have nothing to worry about. I’m yours. You’re mine. Nothing…and no one…can get in the way of that. Right?”
Luke was a little surprised by Noah’s words but he found himself nodding. “Exactly.”
“Just you and me,” Noah said.
“Just you and I,” Luke corrected. Noah rolled his eyes and looked over at Luke with a deadpanned expression. The shorter boy flushed. “Yes, just us. I swear. Nobody else.”
“Good,” Noah said softly, relaxing into his seat.
Eventually, Harvard’s campus signs began to appear along the road, crimson banners swaying in the wind as they drew nearer. Luke sat up straighter, nerves knotting. He had never been to his brothers college campus and he hadn’t seen Gabe (or Young) since New Years. That was four months ago.
“Ready?” Noah asked gently.
Luke wasn’t really sure what Noah was asking. He wasn’t sure whether he was asking if Luke was ready to see his brother again and introduce Noah as his boyfriend, or whether Luke was ready to meet Youngjae again and possibly go through some awkward tension once everyone met. Either way, Luke nodded. “As I’ll ever be.”
They turned into the parking lot.
Harvard stretched before them. God, Gabe’s stories about this place didn’t do it justice. It was beautiful yet intimidating. And somewhere among those brick buildings, Gabe waited. Youngjae waited. And whatever Luke had been avoiding… waited too.
“Yay,” Eli said tiredly, yawning in the back. “We’re here.”
“Finally,” Nate mumbled.
“Showtime,” Noah murmured from the drivers seat.
Luke breathed in the chilly air and stepped out of the car. He spotted his brother before his brother spotted them. There he was, hands shoved in the pockets of a Harvard hoodie, blond curls a little longer than the last time Luke saw him, eyes scanning the campus walkway like he’d been counting the seconds until they arrived. For a moment, Luke forgot how to breathe. His heart just went oh and took off running.
“Gabe!” he called, already jogging ahead.
Gabe’s head snapped up, disbelief flashing into relief, then into something frustrated and fond all at once. Luke barely had time to drop his bag before Gabe’s arms wrapped around him so tight his ribs complained.
Luke laughed into his brother’s shoulder. “Missed you too, drama queen.”
“You randomly text me that you’re going on a wild road trip without warning and I’m the drama queen?” Gabe muttered, but he didn’t let go. Not for a long few seconds.
When they finally stepped back, Luke’s smile was wide… but his eyes flicked around instinctively. No Youngjae. Not on Gabe’s heels. Not tucked behind him. Not hiding behind a tree. Nothing. A little knot formed low in Luke’s stomach, but he pushed it down. Later. He’d ask later. For now, Gabe’s gaze had shifted, or more like laser-focused, onto Noah.
“So,” Gabe drawled, taking a slow, assessing look at Noah from head to toe. “You must be the new boyfriend.”
Noah visibly swallowed, lifting a hand in greeting. “Hi. Nice to see you again. Properly this time. I mean, like, as his—”
“Are you treating him right?” Gabe cut in, narrowing his eyes.
“Gabe,” Luke groaned.
“What? It’s a valid question,” Gabe said, not taking his glare off Noah. “If he so much as sniffles because of you—”
Noah’s face matched the Harvard crimson. “I—I would never. I—He’s my favourite person.”
Luke felt his chest melt and combust simultaneously.
Gabe paused… then nodded once. “Good answer. Still not fully convinced, but acceptable.”
Behind them, Eli and Nate were cracking up, Eli whispering, ‘He’s literally shaking’ while Nate tried to smother his laugh in Eli’s shoulder.
Luke nudged his brother. “Can you dial down the mafia-brother act? You’re scaring him.”
“That’s the point,” Gabe said calmly. Luke rolled his eyes and that’s when Gabe finally grinned and pulled Noah into a quick hug that looked more like a friendly tackle. “Welcome to Harvard,” Gabe said, clapping Noah on the back hard enough to make him stumble.
Noah just stared, wide-eyed. “Thanks.”
Gabe turned and gestured for them to follow. “Come on. You all need food before you collapse on my campus lawn. And we can beat the rush if we hurry.”
“Thank God, I’m starving,” Eli grumbled.
“You seem to have eaten enough,” Gabe said dryly, eyeing Eli’s neck.
“Huh?” Eli asked in confusion.
Luke snickered. “More like Nate is the one that ate.”
Eli’s eyes widened a little. “Did you leave hickies?” he harshly whispered to his boyfriend.
Nate rolled his eyes. “You deserve the shame after the way you behaved last night.”
Eli gasped dramatically.
Luke and Noah laughed under their breaths and they all headed toward the nearest campus café, crossing a brick path framed by old trees and plaques detailing too many dead professors. Gabe walked beside Luke like he was reassuring himself Luke was really there on his campus. Eli and Nate followed closely, holding hands and whispering, whilst Noah took in every building like the university might vanish if he blinked.
As they rounded a corner, a cluster of tall guys in sports jackets stood outside the café laughing loudly, shoving each other, and holding branded protein shakes. Gabe slowed right as one of them spotted him.
“Yo, Davies!” a blond guy called. “Who’re the VIPs?”
Luke instinctively tried to slide closer to Noah, but Gabe stepped forward smoothly, throwing an arm around his brothers shoulders.
“This is my little brother,” he said, tone warm but warning. “Be nice.” Then, nodding to the others: “His boyfriend. And our friends Eli and Nate.”
A chorus of greetings and smirks followed. One guy with a lacrosse stick over his shoulder winked at Luke. “You in the family business then? Lacrosse prodigy part two?”
Luke’s cheeks pinked. “I’m barely coordinated enough to use stairs.”
Gabe squeezed his shoulder. “He’s an artist. Stronger-willed than any of us.”
A few eyebrows rose in impressed surprise.
Introductions soon finished and the group started filtering inside the café where the warm air, clinking of plates, and the smell of fresh pastries greeted them.
Whilst everyone was busy looking at the menu, Luke looked over at Gabe and couldn’t help his curiosity. He didn’t care how obvious he was making things but he just needed to know. “Hey… where’s Youngjae?”
The question landed like a pebble dropped into deep water.
Gabe’s jaw twitched. “Dorm. Studying,” he said quickly. Too quickly. Luke opened his mouth to ask more, but Gabe was already pulling out his wallet with forced cheer. “Come on guys. Get whatever you want. My treat,” he said loudly. “Harvard hospitality and all.”
Luke stepped aside, smiling for everyone else, but his mind lingered on that twitch in Gabe’s jaw. Something was off, and he wasn’t going to let his brother pretend otherwise for long.
The café buzzed with weekend energy—students hunched over laptops, caffeine addicts in line, lacrosse guys still loudly debating stats. Luke tried to stay present, sipping his iced chai, laughing when Eli mispronounced macchiato loud enough to get stares, kissing Noah’s cheek when he offered him a bite of his croissant.
But every time Gabe spoke to someone else, Luke watched the tiny cracks in his expression. The forced brightness. The way his eyes flicked toward the door like he half-expected someone else to walk in.
Finally, when Noah and Eli dragged Nate to go inspect the wall of pastries because apparently they needed a cinnamon swirl “for solidarity,” Luke seized the moment.
He grabbed Gabe by the sleeve and tugged him toward a quiet corner by the window where sunlight spilled across a row of empty high-tables.
Gabe tried to play dumb. “What, you want a souvenir mug or something—”
“Cut the crap.”
Gabe froze.
Luke crossed his arms. “Where’s Youngjae really?”
The air shifted. Gabe’s shoulders stiffened, mouth pressing into a line. “He’s in our dorm room,” he said again, but softer this time. “We…had a fight.”
Luke blinked. That wasn’t the answer he expected. He wasn’t expecting it. “You and Youngjae don’t fight,” he said, trying to wrap his brain around it. “You’re like a package deal. You don’t exist without each other.”
“I know,” Gabe snapped, not angrily at Luke. Angrily at himself. He dragged a hand through his curls, letting out a long, fraying sigh. “Trust me, I know.”
Luke stepped closer. “What happened?”
Gabe didn’t answer at first. His throat bobbed, eyes staring somewhere past Luke, some memory he didn’t want to look at but couldn’t unsee. “He’s just…” Gabe finally said. “Different lately.”
“What? Different? How?”
Gabe’s fingers tapped restless patterns on the table. “Quiet. Cold. Like he’s here but not here. He keeps disappearing for hours. Won’t tell me where he goes. And when I ask, he just,” Gabe’s voice cracked. “shuts down on me or gets pissed off.”
Luke’s heart twisted. “But you two always talk. About everything.”
“Yeah.” Gabe let out a laugh with no humour in it. “Not anymore, apparently.”
Luke swallowed. “Did something happen? Did you do something? Or did he…”
“No,” Gabe said. “Nothing like that. We’re not breakup material. We’re just in a bad weird place right now. I don’t know.”
Luke searched his brother’s face. Gabe looked exhausted. Hollow around the eyes. Like he’d spent too many nights staring at the ceiling asking questions no one could answer. “What did you fight about?”
Gabe shook his head. “Nothing. Everything. He keeps telling me he’s fine but I know he’s lying, so I keep pushing him to speak to me and he keeps running away from it.” His voice dropped a little. “I don’t know how to reach him anymore. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the break up with Ryan? Maybe it’s the whole thing with his parents? I don’t know. He says it doesn’t impact him, but how could it not? I don’t know, man. I just feel useless.”
Luke rested a hand on Gabe’s arm comfortingly. “Hey. You’ll figure it out. It’s you and Youngjae. You always do.”
Gabe’s jaw clenched, and for the first time Luke realised just how scared his brother actually was. “No, man. This is different. I’m losing him,” Gabe said quietly. “And I don’t know why.”
Luke squeezed his arm tighter, willing reassurance into his grip. Suddenly, guilt ran through him. Was this all Luke’s fault? Was Youngjae pulling away from Gabe because Luke had hurt him when he made things official with Noah despite Young saying that he and Luke should take it slow, whatever the hell that meant? Luke swallowed. “You’re not losing him, Gabe. Just keep trying. Don’t give up. Or, I don’t know, maybe I can try talking to him. Does he know I’m here?”
“Yeah,” Gabe sighed, “he knows, but it didn’t look like he cared when I told him.”
Ouch.
Luke tried to keep his face neutral. “Well, we basically lived together too over christmas, so maybe I can try and see if I can get through to him, ya know? Maybe a different face will help. Only if you want me to though. I would pry.”
“You can try your best but I can’t promise he won’t snap at you too,” Gabe shrugged, but he still didn’t look convinced.
Before Luke could say more, Eli’s cheerful voice rang out across the café. “Luke! They have chocolate chip banana bread!”
Noah added something unintelligible but enthusiastic. Nate looked embarrassed for them both.
Gabe blinked and straightened, his mask sliding back into place. “Get your pastry,” he murmured. “Let’s pretend everything’s normal for a little while.”
Luke nodded, but inside, the dread had rooted deep. Because if Gabe and Youngjae, the two most unbreakable and inseparable guys Luke knew, were fracturing…then something much bigger was going wrong than anyone had realised.
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That evening, the campus of Harvard felt golden and alive. The sunset was dripping over red brick buildings and the crowds were moving like a tidal toward the athletic fields. Gabe had done the ‘Big Brother Tour’ which included showing his guests the library, the dorms, the weird statue everyone made crude jokes about, and now they were following him through the gates of the lacrosse field where a friendly was being held.
“Front row for the VIPs,” Gabe said, smirking as he waved them through the ropes.
Luke rolled his eyes but didn’t fight it. He, Eli, Nate, and Noah slid into seats with a perfect sideline view while Gabe jogged off toward the locker room.
Eli bounced his knee like a kid on sugar. “God, this is giving me flashbacks,” he said. “Remember sophomore year? We basically attended every Friday night game.”
Luke smiled despite himself. “Yeah. Good old days.”
“The best,” Eli grinned, looping his arms through Luke’s. “That’s basically what made our friendship so strong. Me following you to the lacrosse games every week.”
Luke felt nostalgia hit him square in the chest. “Remember our first ever lacrosse party?”
“God, how could I forget?” Eli laughed. “Gabe got into that huge fight!”
“And we had to drag his ass out of that house,” Luke rolled his eyes.
“And Young had to drive us home,” Eli added.
Luke’s smile faltered ever so slightly and his chest tightened. He hadn’t thought about that in a while. Hadn’t thought about Youngjae coming to the rescue. Hadn’t thought of all those weird nights where they had talked to each other, or more like argued with each other. He hadn’t thought about the way his stomach used to flip and burn just at the sight of him.
Noah bumped his shoulder lightly, knocking him out of his thoughts.
Luke forced a smile back.
The game was already starting. Students roared as players streamed out onto the field for this friendly game of lacrosse, their helmets under their arms as they waved to the crowd. Luke scanned the area instinctively, and that’s when he saw him. Youngjae. He was jogging out with the midfielders, stick slung casually over his shoulder. Same sharp jawline. Same easy power in his stride. Same messy black hair that looked like he’d run his fingers through it too many times, although now it was longer. And the moment his eyes lifted across the stands…
He saw Luke.
It was instant. Like a flash of electricity slamming through both of them. Youngjae’s steps faltered, just barely, but Luke saw it. His stick dipped. His gaze locked, unblinking. Luke’s breath caught hard enough to hurt. Time slowed. The noise of the crowd faded. It was just Luke and Youngjae, suspended in that single impossible heartbeat.
God, now that Youngjae was right there in his eyeline, all the emotions slammed into him like a fucking truck. His voice. The way Young would smile at him. The way he touched his hand. The way Youngjae fucking kissed him, stealing all the air out of Luke’s lungs.
Eli followed his line of sight, eyes widening. “Oh. Ohhh damn. Did he get hotter?”
Nate nudged Eli playfully.
Eli grinned. “Not as hot as you, baby.”
Nate grumbled under his breath.
Luke sensed Noah tense beside him, and when he finally tore his eyes away from Young, he saw that Noah’s jaw was clenching just a fraction. Heat rose to his face. His hands were suddenly useless things in his lap.
The whistle blew, and the game exploded into motion.
Luke forced himself to focus. Gabe was easy to track, fast and loud and cocky as ever. Every time he scored, the crowd roared and Eli nearly knocked Luke sideways with excitement. Noah’s hand rested warm and steady on Luke’s knee the whole time.
But whenever Gabe wasn’t in play, Luke’s eyes betrayed him.
He kept catching glimpses of Youngjae—longer hair brushing his cheekbones underneath his helmet, sweat glinting on his collarbone, a sharper older confidence in the way he moved. He looked… good. Unfairly good. Like time had only polished him. Luke kept his face neutral, but inside? Absolute chaos.
I have a boyfriend. I really like my boyfriend. I am not thinking about Youngjae’s shoulders.
By the time the final buzzer sounded and Gabe’s team took the win, Luke was exhausted from pretending everything was fine. Students spilled onto the field, laughing and yelling and practically climbing their lacrosse heroes.
They waited until the initial surge calmed before heading down. Gabe spotted them instantly, his grin wide and proud.
“There he is!” Eli cheered, pulling Gabe into a sweaty hug despite the protests.
Gabe laughed and fist-bumped Nate before clapping Luke and Noah both on the shoulders. “So, what did you think? I still got it, don’t I?”
Luke huffed. “College just made you more of a cocky bastard.”
Just as Gabe started talking about some insane shot he made in the second quarter, his gaze flicked over Luke’s shoulder.
Luke felt it before he turned, like the air shifted.
Youngjae was still on the field, wiping sweat from his forehead with the hem of his jersey, talking to a couple teammates. He looked like he belonged here. Like Harvard wasn’t just a place he attended but a world that shaped itself around him.
Gabe hesitated. Clearly weighing something. Then he called out, voice tight: “Yo, Young! C’mere for a sec.”
Luke’s heart punched his ribs.
Youngjae paused. For a moment, he looked like he might ignore the call. Then, with that same smooth confidence he always had, he slung his stick under his arm and walked over.
The air changed again.
“Hey,” Youngjae said in his deep voice, stopping right in front of them. He looked at Luke first. Luke tried to breathe. Then Youngjae’s eyes slid to Gabe. “You need something?”
“Just wanted to say good game, man.” Gabe slapped his shoulder, but Luke could see the tension in the gesture.
“Yeah,” Youngjae replied coolly. “You too.”
Eli offered a small wave to Youngjae who nodded back at him and Nate. Noah… wasn’t acknowledged. At all. Youngjae’s gaze drifted over him like he wasn’t even there and Luke’s stomach twisted at that. Noah noticed. Of course he did. And in response? His hand tightened around Luke’s. And Luke knew, knew, that whatever was going on between Gabe and Young… it wasn’t just a fight. Something had changed. And Youngjae’s eyes, all dark and unreadable, kept finding Luke’s like he was a ghost from another life who refused to stay dead.
Young brushed a damp piece of hair off his forehead, trying for casual but landing somewhere closer to icy nonchalance. “There’s an after-party at Phi Tau,” he said, voice smooth as steel. “If you guys wanna come.”
Eli perked up instantly, wide-eyed, already halfway convinced. “Yes. Absolutely. Always. Parties are my love language.”
Nate laughed under his breath, looping an arm around Eli’s waist. “Sure, we’ll come. Thanks, man.”
Luke opened his mouth to politely decline. The idea of being in a loud frat house right now felt like willingly jumping into a blender. But Noah beat him to it. “We can’t. We kinda still need to find somewhere to stay tonight,” Noah said, rubbing the back of his neck.
Gabe scoffed like it was the simplest problem in the world. “My dorm. Duh. We’ll squeeze.”
Luke frowned. “Gabe, that’s… like six of us. You literally have one bed.”
“We’ll make it work,” Gabe waved him off. “Floor space exists for a reason.”
Luke didn’t feel good about it. The math didn’t math. The tension didn’t tension. Everything felt wrong. But before he could argue again, Young shoved his stick deeper under his arm and said, “Don’t worry. One of you can sleep in my bed. I’ll stay with Ryan tonight. Problem solved.” He didn’t say it to anyone in particular. Just dropped it like a grenade.
Luke’s lungs forgot how to do their job.
Stay with Ryan?
Stay with…Ryan…?
EX-BOYFRIEND Ryan!?
His voice came out small before he could stop it. “But I thought… you said—”
Young didn’t even look at him. He just gave Gabe one stiff nod and turned away, walking across the field with the confident stride of someone who had already decided not to explain himself.
Eli, totally unaware of the emotional carnage he’d just witnessed, clapped his hands. “Frat house tonight then! Wooo, Ivy League chaos!”
Luke didn’t respond. His chest felt like something was lodged under his ribs, sharp and mean. Noah’s fingers squeezed his, but Luke could barely feel it past the buzzing panic in his brain. Youngjae had walked off without a backward glance and Luke was left standing in the middle of Harvard’s perfect lawn wondering if he had ever truly understood Youngjae at all.
a/n: what is Youngjae’s problem, do you think?
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