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Chapter 13
My eyes flashed over to Grady and I stared at him in shock as what Carson said really began to sink in.
He was still sitting at the table, head down, fists clenched, not even sensing what had just gone down on the phone with Carson. I gazed at him until the shock disappeared and there was only anger; after all I’d done to help him, after all the lecturing and trying to get him out of trouble time and time again and he goes and starts doing drugs!
No one in that moment could describe the rage building inside me at his actions; he just wanted to waste his life away; he didn’t care about the people trying to help him; the people who suffered when he did stupid things like this. The selfish bastard!
My eyes blazing, despite the soreness travelling through my body I walked over to where he sat; oblivious to the world around him and dragged him out of his seat by his collar.
“Dude what the-“
“Shut the fuck up, the only thing I want to hear from you is who those men were and why they wanted you dead.” My tone brooked no argument but he shrugged out of my grasp and stood not far away straightening his clothes.
“I thought we discussed this. Sometimes it’s best not to know everything.” He said with a pointed look but I wasn’t having any of his bullshit.
“Yeah I heard you the first time and I don’t give a shit. Now start talking.” I growled and watched as his eyes narrowed. I wanted him to be the one to explain.
“Starting talking huh? And since when are you my fucking father?” he retorted and turned to go.
“You know Grady, you’ve done a lot of stupid shit in your life but I never pegged you for a fool until now.” I said menacingly.
He instantly stopped in his tracks and whipped around to face me, his eyes narrowed and his face contorted in anger.
“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” he practically shouted.
“Drugs Grady. really? I don’t even know why I thought you were smarter than that.”
He froze at my words. His entire body stiffening and his eyes going wide with shock and fear.
“W-what are you talking about?” he managed to get out over his stuttering.
“Don’t bother playing dumb with me, I know all about your little after school activities and I know that’s why you disappear all the time.” I told him. My eyes pierced his, daring him to deny it.
“H-how?” was all he asked, confirming what Carson had said. I didn’t know why I had even held out the hope that maybe it was all some kind of mistake, that Grady would just laugh it off as he did everything else.
“Carson did some digging.” I spat, and the instant I said his name Grady tensed further, his fists clenching until his knuckles turned white.
“He had no right!” Grady blazed, his eyes flashing in anger.
“He had every right! The moment your friends shot me it become pack business.” I shouted back causing him to flinch.
“Don’t call them that.” He said voice lowered and shaky, eyes wide.
“Then what else should I call them Grady, please, enlighten me.” I replied, my voice equally soft yet deadly.
“You can’t honestly believe I’m friends with those criminals.” He continued, peering at me intently as he awaited my answer.
“Then what exactly should I believe Grady? It’s not as if you tell me anything, I have to drag every piece of information out of you, you keep everything to yourself, what do you expect me to believe?!” I shouted, pissed at him in more ways than I could count.
“Thomas we’ve been best friends practically all our lives, you know me-”
“No, the only thing I know is that you’re a screw up and that’s probably all you’ll ever be.” I said and I didn’t regret saying it because I it was the truth.
“See? This is why I didn’t want to tell you, I knew you would judge me! I knew you’d see me differently!” He shouted in anguish.
“I’ve never judged you a day in your life Grady and you weren’t afraid I would, you were just afraid I’d be disappointed in you and you know what? I am.” I said softly.
“Thomas-”
“No, it’s like you don’t even care. I’ve tried so hard to make you see that you can’t keep living this way. You’ve been getting into trouble for so long I can’t even remember what it’s like to relax. I’m always worrying about you, is Grady doing something stupid to get himself into trouble today? Will Grady come home with more injuries? What if he doesn’t make it back? It’s always the same and I’m sick of it!”
“I have a right to be disappointed. You take everything for a joke and you don’t even care that people are getting hurt because of it. Why would anyone want to live like that? Why should I live like that?” I asked.
It felt as if there was a giant hole where my heart was supposed to be. He had no idea how much it hurt me when he did everything in his power to practically throw his life away; the times he used to steal, his fights, the gangs and now drugs.
I felt as if I couldn’t help him anymore. He never listened to me with anything else so why would he listen with something as serious as drugs. I felt like I was at the end of my rope with him. The fates were cruel to allow me to fall in love with someone who would only cause me pain.
“Thomas I’m sorry, I swear. I know you worry and I know I do stupid shit, but I swear I tried to get out, I started dealing because I didn’t think there was any other way out but I’ve wanted to get out since the second I started I swear.” He pleaded with me.
I could see the glistening in his eyes as he looked at me, begging me to forgive him. Begging me to understand his situation as I’d done a million times before.
“You say the same thing every single time you get into something you can’t handle, why is this any different?” I asked
Silence.
“I’m outta here.” I said and turned to leave.
“Wait, please just hear me out-”
“Grady I can’t even stand to look at you right now.” I whispered and started out of the kitchen.
“You said we’re mates, how can you just walk away?” he asked , his voice sounding hoarse with pleading and worry. I turned to face him once more.
“We are mates and we’ll always be mates but just how much do you think one man can take?” I asked in reply, I was positive my expression mirrored his defeated one and I blinked back the tears which had formed “I just need some time alone right now, I’m going out.” I told him then shook my head at my words, even now I was still trying to appease him: giving him assurance that I’d be back. I was always shouldering his responsibilities and he was selfish enough to let me.
“I never saw you any differently when Carson told me you were doing drugs, I just saw you more clearly.” I got out.
I looked up into his eyes again, seeing the heartbreaking fear in their depths then I turned one final time to go. In no time I was in my car, blazing down the street and out of camp.
AUTHOR’S NOTES
SO AFTER TO READING THROUGH ALL YOUR COMMENTS (WHICH I WILL REPLY TO AS SOON AS POSSIBLE) I NOTICED THAT THERE WERE DIFFERING VIEWS ON WHO IS ON THE COVER………….
I WAS PLEASED THAT SO MANY OF YOU GOT IT RIGHT BECAUSE IT MEANS YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND THE CHARACTERS IN MY STORY… SO THE GUY ON THE COVER IS….THOMAS!!… ( the cover has since been removed..sorry guys 🙁
THANKS FOR ALL THOSE WHO PARTICIPATED, IT WAS FUN READING YOUR COMMENTS..BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME TO THOSE WHO SAID GRADY. I WONDER HOW YOU ALL IMAGINE GRADY THOUGH… I LOVE HOW HE LOOKS IN MY HEAD 😛
-DoUbLe.A
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