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James
I see the stares. I see the sneering that we get, as we walk through the aisles side-by-side. Yes I fucking see it. Except that doesn’t make me feel ashamed, I’m going grocery shopping with my boyfriend, what’s your problem? “People are staring James.” Thomas sighs, I look at his eyes, which look around frantically.
“Screw them, come on.” I sigh, pushing the cart, grabbing some Cheerios.
“Can you get two of those?” He asks hesitantly, and I put some sudden events together.
“So you’ve been stealing my cereal?”
“I like Cheerios, James.”
I put another thing of Cheerios in the cart, as we walk to the candy aisle, where his eyes go wide, with what I can’t tell is either horror or amazement. Maybe both. His soft green eyes, dancing around the aisle, as he goes spacey. “Come on Thomas.” I call softly, breaking the younger boy out of his trance has he follows along with me. “People are staring.” Thomas murmurs worriedly, pulling at the hem of his shirt nervously.
“Thomas, it’s okay, you look beautiful, alright.”
I grab my drawstring bag, shoveling through it, before I find some headphones, passing them to Thomas. He shoves them in his ears, plugging them into his phone, before zoning out to the music. I make sure he continues to follow, but he’s not paying attention to other people. He’s unbelievably self-conscious, and I’m still wondering how, he’s so pretty.
As I drag him along to check out, he hands me stuff to scan, which I do quite quickly, grabbing all the bags into the cart. He follows me to the car, where he finally takes his earbuds out, putting them back in my bag. We put the bags in the car silently, then we both get in, as I start the car.
“I’m sorry.” Thomas mumbles, as we start to drive.
“Thomas, I’m gonna be honest, people suck. Don’t let them get to you, you look beautiful honestly.”
He doesn’t respond, a slight rosy blush at his cheeks, beginning to match his jeans.
“The other night did you want sex?” He trails off, looking at me intently.
“No, I didn’t expect that, and I only wanted what you were comfortable with. Nothing more, nothing less.”
I look over at him, and it takes me at least half my concentration not to laugh, as half of the purple hickey, a deep contrast from his pale, porcelain skin, is covered by is shirt. Yet the most blatantly obvious part is exposed, so if he tried to cover it to go in public, he didn’t do a really good job.
“I ruined it?” Thomas asks, and okay he isn’t exactly wrong, but he’s not exactly right. Having a daddy kink can be really fricking embarrassing, the fact he trusts me enough to know, tells me enough.
“I don’t care, that you have a daddy kink, you know. You like what you like, if you like being a sub, tell me, I’ll make things work, but you gotta tell me, you need to open up, or else this relationship is never gonna work out. Thomas I really, really, like you.”
We pull into the parking lot, getting out, we each take 4 bags, as we make it to the elevator.
We are both oddly silent on the way up to my apartment, but yet again start talking as soon as the door closes. What a shock. Sense my sarcasm? As we put stuff away, well he finishes before me somehow, walking off to his room. As I finish up groceries, I take my shoes off, leaving them by the door. Before changing into some black sweatpants then laying on the couch.
Scrolling aimlessly through Facebook and Pinterest, not laughing at all honestly. I see Thomas come out, so I grab the remote, turning on the TV for him to watch. Opening my arms, he lays on top of me, legs around my waist, as he buries his head into my chest.
“Are you tired? You only got like 3 hours of sleep.” I laugh, pulling the blanket over the both of us.
“Shhhhhhh.” He mumbles, putting his hand over my mouth, stifling my laughter.
I lick his hand and he yanks it back, wiping it on his shirt, groaning in utter disgust.
“Let me sleep. You’re warm.” Thomas whines, and I can tell he’s frustrated.
“It’s cause I have a blanket on.” I tease lightly, as he attempts to burry himself deeper into my chest.
“I don’t care.” He murmurs, his voice muffled by my shirt.
Sitting up better, I hear him groan as he’s being moved, but with a soft sigh, he lays there, both of us enjoying the others company.
Absentmindedly, I run my fingers through the soft locks of hair. Thinking back to that night on the bridge, I just can’t not think about it.
“James, why were you on the bridge that night? Nobody goes on it it’s abandoned.”
I choke on my breath, this question, the one I hoped to never answer, because it would have me revealing my truth. The one I’ve somewhat concealed from him in the past four months. That he’s not much different from me.
“Oh my god James… you were going to end your life that night? I’m so sorry.”
Biting my lip to the point of blood, I try to conceal the fact that my eyes are burning from tears, waiting to fall at any moment. His arms that have been snaked around me, are now basically crushing me in a tight hug. As I sit there in a stunned silence at his response, he actually cares. Why?
“Starting now, James, we both get better.”
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