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Thomas
I wake up to a ear splitting shriek, and James jumping out of bed, holding his hands to his chest. His panicked breathing echoes around the room, and I’m hoping he didn’t wake up Brittany.
“Hey, hey come here, it’s okay.” I whisper softly, walking over to him.
I don’t hold him, the reason being I don’t know what he’s dreaming about. If it is Tyler, then I know I can’t touch him , or else he will be even more terrified. So my compromise is standing next to him, realizing it is 2am, and still hoping he didn’t wake up Brittany. Yet, I’m more concerned about James, who has now calmed down a bit, but is starting to cry.
“Can I touch you?” I ask hesitantly, waiting for his response.
He nods, and I take that as an opportunity to wrap my arms around him tightly, although considering the height difference between us, I barely make it to his chest, in my defense he is 6’1 and I’m 5’7.
“It’s okay, it wasn’t real.” I tell him softly, repeating my words over and over, hoping he gets the message.
Although he starts to loosen up, his tensed shoulders relaxing slightly, as he slowly dissolves into my arms. Once he realizes what’s going on I move back, so he can take his hands off his chest, as I turn on the light. Making his red cheeks, and teary eyes visible.His quiet sobs are the only form of noise, and his shaking is the only form of movement in the room, while I’m frozen still. How long has he had these? I most likely wasn’t waking up for them, oh my god, he dealt with this alone.
“Hey, it’s okay James, just take deep breaths, and you’ll be okay, it wasn’t real. I’m here, okay.”
He rests his chin on the top of my head, arms wrapped around me.
“Can we just go back to bed.” James mumbles tiredly, looking down at me for a response.
I nod, as I crawl into bed, him crawling in beside me, as he turns off the light.
“You wanna talk about it?” I ask.
He shakes his head, as he wraps his arms around me, head resting at my neck.
“Have you been getting these since it happened?” I ask solemnly, this time he nods, as I feel my heart break into pieces.
As I roll over, he pulls back to look at me, our foreheads touching.
“I love you, you know that right?”
“I don’t know why, but yes.” He jokes.
“Because you’re smart, kind, funny, beautiful, and you gave me a chance, a chance to live.” I mumble, tiredness starting to take over me slowly.
“Go to sleep love.” James laughs quietly.
“Seriously are you okay?”
“Thomas I’m fine, don’t worry.”
3rd person POV
As they both laid there, neither of them were okay when you get right down to it. You’ve got Thomas, who switched from starving himself, to eating, and then purging. You’ve got James who gets nightmares, and sometimes night terrors, PTSD. Yet, both of them lie and hide, refusing help from anyone, because they both think they can manage it on their own.
“Sleep well, my love.” James sighs under his breath, he can’t sleep, a million thoughts racing through his head.
“Good night.” Thomas mumbles, curling up and cuddling James in his half asleep state.
It takes James all he has to not giggle slightly at the boy, head tucked at his chest as he sleeps. With Thomas safe in his arms, protective grip around him, he wishes he could protect him from the outside world, he can’t, but he can try. With his boyfriend snuggled beside him, his comfort really, he stares fondly at the younger boy, not letting his eyes gaze falter.
As he stares however, he slowly realizes this is the man he wants to marry honestly, he can’t picture himself being with anyone else besides Thomas. The little pastel boy, who he hoped one day could learn to love himself. The thing is, is that Thomas doesn’t really understand how much he has impacted James, saving him from suicide, and the cruel reality he faces. Also let’s not forget the loneliness, James had barely any friends before Thomas came along, nobody he wanted to get close to either.
As James’s eyes begin to close, he longs for a future, that he hopes to have with Thomas.
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