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*only one more chapter after this*
Jacob’s POV
“Happy Birthday babe.” Shawn said as he walked into the hospital room, I turned around and smiled at him.
“I said it first, you’re,” Michele paused to look at the clock in the room, which read 12:45, “forty-five minutes late.”
“Welcome to adulthood, where you will literally do the same things, but more things are legal for you!” Shawn said sitting next to me, giving me a kiss before looking back at my mom.
“Like voting, and you’re legally allowed to make a Facebook account now!” Michele added onto his statement and I just shook my head laughing silently.
“I also have the right to pull my mom off life-support,” I answered sadly looking at her and taking her hand, “they’re supposed to give me the papers today.”
“I’m proud of you Jacob, I know this wasn’t an easy choice to make, but no matter what you choose, just know that she’s agree with you one-hundred percent, okay?” Shawn explained squeezing my hands and I nodded.
“This is what she’d want, she wouldn’t want to,” I hesitated saying ‘die’ because I don’t think I’m ready to accept it, “be with people she doesn’t know, she’d want us to be there, people she loves and people who love her.”
“You’re right, that’s how I’d want it,” Michele agreed, “and I’ve known her for so long, she’s like a second mom to me, and I know it’s what she wants too.”
“Michele, it’s so late, shouldn’t you go home? Shawn is here to babysit me now. I know you’ve been taking turns.” I said humorously at, and she rolled her eyes.
“I want to be here for when they do it.” Michele answered simply, “you and her have been with me on my worst day of my life, now I want to be here for yours.
“They probably won’t do it until tomorrow morning at the earliest, but, I want to celebrate my birthday with her, one last time. So I’ll wait until the night.” I answered, “so please rest, I’ll be fine. I’ll call you.” I insisted.
“If that’s what you want,” Michele answered, smiling softly, she hugged me and Shawn before grabbing her phone and searching through her bag for her keys.
“See you later?” Shawn asked and Michele nodded.
“Call me if anything happens okay? Love you both.” Michele said before leaving.
“Love you too,” I responded, she smiled at me and left the room. I sighed and let go of my mom’s hand to walk towards the window, looking at the night sky.
“I’ve always enjoyed the night, same with my mom.” I started, “it was a chance for us to escape reality for a bit, and just gaze at the stars.”
Shawn walked behind me, wrapping his arms around me before joining me in looking at the stars. I leaned back a little, getting further into his arms and he rested his chin on my shoulder.
“Even my dad too, it was his favorite thing to do as a family. There was this thing that came once a month at the park called Saturday Nighy Stars where you bring your loved ones and just watch the stars with family, boyfriends, girlfriends. It was so peaceful.” I explained, laughing slightly at the memory.
“Mommy! Look! That one looks like a bunny!” The child version of me yelled, laced with excitement, pointing at the sky.
“I see it honey! It’s cute just like you.” My mom said, booping my nose, causing me to giggle.
“Where’s daddy?” I asked, “he’s supposed to be here! He said he loved looking at the stars!”
“He’s coming honey don’t worry, he had to stay a bit at work.” My mom explained and I frowned.
“B-but that’s not fair! I’m more important than work! He should come here for me!” I whined standing up, stomping my feet.
“He needs to work honey, or else we won’t be able to buy to buy your favorite ice cream.” My mom explained but I shook my head.
“Ice cream can wait! The stars can’t!” I said, and my mom shook her head, “can I call daddy on your phone?”
“What if he’s driving here? We don’t want to disturb him.” My mom explained.
“If he was driving here, than he should be here in five seconds!” I started, and held up five fingers before I started to count down.
“5! 4! 3! 2! 1!” I said and looked around for him, and smiled to myself knowing that I get to call him because he wasn’t on his way, “so now do I get to call him?”
My mom shook her head laughing at me, before reaching into her purse and pulling out her phone going to his contact and handing it to me.
“Click call when you’re ready.” I nodded excitedly and as soon as I grabbed her phone, I called my dad, putting it on speaker.
As I heard the phone ring, I looked around and saw a blue car drive incredibly fast by the park, I looked at it’s eyes full of joy.
“That car was like a rollercoaster! Can we drive like that?” I asked my mom, and she shook her head disapprovingly.
“He’s driving reckless, he could hit and hurt someone,” she said as the car’s engine could still be heard faintly.
“Hello?” I heard my dad said through the phone, and my eyes were full of excitement once again.
“Daddy! Are you coming now!” I asked him, jumping up and down, “the stars are so pretty!”
I heard my dad laugh, and I imagined him shaking his head.
“I’m almost there bub. Tell the stars I said hi.” He said and I nodded my head, even though I knew he couldn’t see me.
“My dad said hi!” I yelled looking at the stars, and I heard my mom and dad laugh at me, “how much longer!”
“In a few minutes, in fact I can see the stars from here. They’re waving at me, I think they got your message. Once i turn here, I should be able to see the park, look for me!” He explained and I smiled wide.
“I’ll go there now and watch!” I said and ran near the entrance of the park, my mom walking behind me I saw the speeding rollercoaster getting close to the turn and I remembered I need to tell him about that.
“I’m turning now b…” he started but was cut off before a loud crash and the call shut off.
“Hello? What was that daddy?” I asked, but my thoughts were interrupted when I heard my mom scream.
“Oh my god!” She screamed, I looked over to what she was looking at, and I the blue car flipped on it’s side with another car near it which looked completely destroyed.
She took the phone from my hands and saw that the call had ended, and looked over to the accident and her paled.
“Roger! Oh my god, oh my god no! Someone call 911!” She screamed as she grabbed my hand, tears starting to fall from her face and I was confused.
She picked me up and we ran to the car, which was pretty far away but my mom didn’t even stop, even after stumbling a bit.
We kept getting closer to the car, and once I realized why she was running, my heart broke.
“Daddy!”
Shawn wiped the tears that were falling from my face, and held me closer.
“That’s how he died,” I explained, between sobs, “I caused it. Because I called him, I distracted him. A-and now, I’m gonna be the reason my mom dies.” I said and Shawn just rubbed my back.
“Shh,” he whispered as I continued to cry, “it’s okay.”
-=+=-
“Are you ready Jacob?” Dr. Grey asked, I nodded handing her the forms. I felt Shawn’s grip on my hand tightened, and Michele turned her head towards me, smiling sympathetically.
She slowly started turning off the machines that were helping her live, as soon as she took the intubation tube from her mouth, the heart monitor started beeping loudly, and I started to cry, turning around hiding my face in Shawn’s shoulder. He hugged back, and I felt Michele rub my back comfortingly before Dr. Grey clicked a button, making the heart monitor go silent.
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” she said in a soft voice walking over to me, I pulled away from Shawn, wiping my face before sending her a small smile.
“Thank you, for everything,” I said giving her a hug before looking over at my mom, “are you sure she’s not in pain.”
“She isn’t, we gave her medicine to make sure she doesn’t feel a thing. When the monitor shows a flatline, she’s gone.” She explained and I nodded, “I’ll give you guys some privacy.” She said before leaving the room.
“This is how I’m spending my birthday, huh?” I asked no one in particular, laughing quietly. I wiped my face again, and Shawn and Michele both looked at me, a small smile on their face.
I looked around and saw small bits of streamer hanging from the ceiling, and a half eaten cupcake with a candle in the middle. They brought it here earlier.
I looked back at my mom, “I’m glad that your last day, is spent on my birthday,” I said smiling, more tears falling from my eyes, “you get to spend one more birthday with me, you got to see me grow up into an adult.”
After a few minutes, the line on the monitor started to slow, and it eventually flatlined. Reality finally hit me like a bus, and my legs felt weak as I walked over to my now dead mom, and started to sob once again.
“Mommy, I love you so much, I love you,” I said between sobs, Michele moved to the other side of me and grabbed her hand, and she was crying herself too. Shawn stood next to me comforting me as I cried my heart out.
Thirty minutes later, they took her body away. I stayed in her room, looking around again. The bed where my mom once laid was gone, and I stood alone in her room while Michele and Shawn followed Dr. Grey for a bit to give me some alone time. I walked over to her bag which was still in the room and opened it, pulling out a necklace that I had got her a few years ago for Mother’s Day. It was a socket with a small photo of us in it. I smiled at it before I put it around my neck, so she would be with me. As I was about to close her bag and leave the room, I noticed a folded piece of lined paper and I picked it up, reading what was written on the front.
To my son
I heard the door open, and saw Shawn walk in.
“Michele stayed with Dr. Grey for a bit, she wanted me to check on you.” He said but I lift the note and he walked closer to me to read it.
“It’s hers, she wrote it to me, I know her handwriting.” I said quietly, he motioned for me to open it and when I did, I realized it was a letter.
Jacob,
It is finally your 18th birthday, I hope it is full of love and joy because that is all you deserve. If you’re reading this, that means that you finally know I’m sick, you know what’s wrong with me.
I’ve known about the brain tumor for a little bit. After my migraines got worse, and I kept feeling dizzy at work I decided to go to the hospital. They told me the news, and I didn’t want to tell you because your boyfriend had just left and I didn’t want to add another problem to your list.
If you get this letter and I am no longer here, know that I loved you with all my heart. You were the greatest thing that has happened to me, you were the source of my happiness and joy in my life. Having you as a child is something that I have cherished and appreciated everyday of my life.
Ever since your father left, it has left a hole in your heart, as it did to mine. But I knew that you and I could make it through that hardship, I knew that if we stick together, just the two of us as a family, we could finally mend the wound that he left. But, it is I that failed you, I know that I have made an even bigger hole in your heart.
You are strong Jacob, you can mend your broken heart, I know you can and although it feels like you need me to be there, I know you won’t.
You have grown into such a responsible and strong man, and I am so proud of all the hardships that you have overcome. The death of your parents might be the hardest one to overcome, it may seem impossible to move on, but you are not alone.
You have Michele, she was a second daughter to me, I have seen you both grow up into amazing human beings and I know that she will be with you in this time of sadness.
You also have your boyfriend, Shawn. I had the pleasure of meeting him, and although the time I’ve known him was short, I trust him with your heart. He has shown that he cares and truly has feelings for you. His carefree yet loving personality reminds me so much of your father.
I love you so much Jacob, and I wish I could spend more time with you, even if it was just a second. Your father and I will be your star to look up to. Whenever you find yourself in the darkness of fear and doubt, just look up and know that we are here with you no matter where you go.
I love you
-Mom
Once I finished reading the letter aloud, I felt Shawn hold me and I let the tears flow.
“I miss her so much, Shawn. I miss her.” I whispered out. Shawn kissed my head and started talking softly.
“She’s right though Jacob.” He started and I pulled away and he wiped the tears from my face.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“That I truly have feelings for you.”
“I know you do Shawn.” I said and hugged him once again.
“I love you, Jacob,” he said and I pulled away looking at him shocked at his words, but I know that those are words that I have yearned to hear. “I love you so much, your heart is precious, and delicate, I know. I know you have a hard time trusting, and after this your heart is truly broken, but I want to help mend it. I want to help fix it, fix the holes in your heart, teach your heart how to love again, because I,” he paused, “I love you.”
I have only truly loved two people in my life, my parents. To me, the love I had for them was unexplainable, something that couldn’t be described, a feeling that couldn’t be recreated. But, I think I have found the secret on recreating that feeling. Perhaps, I found someone who was able to teach me how to recreate those feelings. And that someone, is standing in front of me.
“I love you too, Shawn.”
-=+=-
Word Count: 2,605
Updated: 06/30/2018
A/N:
I changed my plan and will have the epilogue be the next chapter of the book, the official last chapter :,)
Hopefully I can get it out next week! No promises tho.
This chapter is the longest chapter I have ever written, but it’s in honor of being the second to last chapter of Starstruck.
As always your votes and comments are always appreciated!
And until next time, I still don’t have a sign off!
-Jacob
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