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Edited: No
(A/N at end of chapter explaining my absence)
Jacob’s POV
I’m currently getting ready for my date with Sean going through my closet to decide what I want to wear. I picked out a plain black shirt and a dark green flannel, that I bought off of Shawn’s website of course.
I finished getting ready and stared into the mirror for over 5 minutes before going back into the bathroom and trying to fix my hair.
Once I finished my hair, I took one more look at myself and smiled. I went back into my room to take a photo of myself because I actually felt happy with how I look.
Me: 1 Image Attached
Me: Look how cute I am
Michele: Your fashion is on point. Probably a really fashion smart person taught you all you know
Me: Whoever taught me these ways was probably an idiot because this took too long.
After I sent that message, I received another text, but not from Michele.
Sean: I’m here 🙂
Remember when I said I felt happy with how I looked? Yeah, throw that all out the window because now I’m a nervous wreck.
I have never been on a “date” so this is a first.
What if I mess up? What if he doesn’t like my hair? He probably won’t like it. What about this flannel? What if he doesn’t like the color green? What if he doesn’t like Shawn Mendes? What if he doesn’t even know who Shawn Mendes is?
As I was basically having a mental breakdown, my feet carried me to the front door. I left my house, locking the door before walking towards Sean’s car. I took one last shaky breath before opening the door and sitting down.
Sean heard the door open and his eyes were removed from his phone to look at me. He smiled before locking his phone and putting it in the cup holder.
“Hi Jacob! You look amazing.” Sean said as he looked at me, his smile still plastered on his face.
I blushed and sent a smile small. “Thanks Sean, you do as well.”
He was also wearing a flannel but it was a brown color.
“So where are we going? Or are you going to be basic and cliché and not tell me?” I asked smiling. He laughed at me as he reversed out of my driveway, “I’m guessing that it is the second option?”
“You guessed right my friend.” Sean said as he drove to our destination.
-=+=-
“Its not much, but it is a bit more planned than an impromptu date at Starbucks.” Sean said as he parked in front of a small sushi restaurant.
“I happen to really like sushi Sean, I find this quite nice.” Sean smiled as he got out of the car and rushed over to my side to open my door.
“Sir.” He said once my door was opened, he was standing straight and saluting me which I laughed at his stupidity.
“Sean I have arms of my own to open the door.” I said getting out of the car and we both walked into the restaurant together.
I quickly pulled out my phone to see two messages from Shawn and Michele
Michele: Good luck Jacob! I better get a full FaceTime call with all the details.
I responded with a thank you before moving onto Shawn’s text messages.
Shawn: I’m excited to finally hang out with you and Michele again!
Shawn: And I heard there is a Halloween trail at the fair we’re going to! Lets do it while Jenna and Michele do girly things there!
Me: Sure thing! Lets FaceTime later so we can discuss this some more!
The one thing that stood out from Shawn’s statement was the Halloween Trail. Lets just say that I’m a five year old and scare easily. But, I’m excited to be able to bind with Shawn! You never really think about actually meeting your celebrity crush and this feels like a dream to be honest. But this Shawn stuff will have to wait until after this date because I need to return all my focus to this date.
I put my phone on vibrate and put it back in my pocket while Sean was waiting to talk to someone about the table he reserved.
-=+=-
Amidst the dinner conversation, I felt my phone buzz multiple times, but tried to ignore it but lets be real here, that did not go out well.
“I’m so sorry, but can I go to the bathroom?” I asked as politely as I could, as if I was a third grade student and it is the first day of school with new people and a new teacher, but, its quite the opposite. I’m sitting in front of Sean.
“No problem! I’ll be here.” Sean said smiling as he continued to eat his food.
I rushed to the bathroom and thankfully it was one of those single, private bathrooms. I locked the door and pulled out my phone to see multiple text messages and missed calls from Michele.
At first, when I saw the text messages, I would think that she was just trying to annoy me but as soon as I saw that she called, I knew this was serious and something had happened.
I called her as fast as I could and she answered almost immediately.
“Oh my god Jacob, something happened on Twitter.” Michele said as soon as she answered the call.
You see, I used to have a Twitter, but I knew that most of the subtweets were all about me so I deleted Twitter and have never opened it since I deleted it.
“Is it that bad?” I asked worriedly, and I just heard her sigh.
“I’ll send them to you and I really don’t want to do this but I have to go, my mom is not letting me use my phone because my cousins are visiting but I’ll be over first thing tomorrow okay?”
“Yeah, okay see you tomorrow.” I answered and she said bye and hung up. I shakily removed my phone from my ear and as soon as I did that, I received the text messages and my heart was beating at fifty beats a second.
So I heard Jacob was cutting again. Took him long enough.
That first tweet was already enough to get tears from me.
Jacob is stupid enough to actually still be coming to school. Its sad really how he cuts instead of killing himself.
I hope Jacob films his own suicide so I can savor that day forever
I turned off my phone and ran out of the bathroom.
“Jacob, what’s wrong?” Sean asked running up to me because he was apparently saw me run out.
“I wanna go home now please.” I said in between my tears and he nodded and gave me the keys to his car.
“Here, get inside and warm up, I’ll go pay for this.” Sean said and I nodded in response. I went inside the car and turned it on, as well as turning on the heater. I just wanted to go home and sleep and never wake up because I currently hate life. All the screenshots are about me cutting, which they don’t even know about. No one knows I started cutting again at school, not even Michele.
“Lets get you home.” Sean said as he entered the car and drove as quick as possible.
The car ride was absolutely silent, other than my sniffing, holding in my tears because I hate crying in front of people, let alone the only guy at my school who doesn’t hate me.
“Here, I’ll text you tomorrow Jacob, I hope you get better.” Sean said as he parked in my driveway.
“Thank you Sean for today, I really liked it, even though it may not seem like it.” I said quietly and he just smiled back. I walked towards my door and he left.
Once I entered my house, I made my way upstairs into my bed and let everything out. With all my cries, it felt like all the oxygen in my body was being drained at me at all once and I could not breathe at all. I couldn’t think at all because of how upset I am.
This ruined my happiness about the break, about Shawn visiting, this ruined everything.
Out of all this there was only one word that I could think of.
How?
-=+=-
Word Count: 1,396
Updated: 5/10/2016
A/N
lololol long time no see 🙂 As you can see, I finally updated after almost 2 months. Yikes. As you know, school has started on August 22nd for me and I already started procrastinating even though I’m in honors and 1 AP class. I do apologize for the wait but I will do my best to update as soon as I can!
Anyways, if you want to talk to me to see my current status on my writing or you want to see the tweets of my daily life or even just to talk and be friends, feel free to DM on Twitter! (my twitter: thatonejacob334)
As always, votes and comments are appreciated and I hope to see you next time!
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