Array
(
[text] =>
Mom just left for the flower shop, and I was still in my room on a lock-down. Mom said Nico came by to pick me up, but she told him that I was sick. Nico asked I he could see me, but Mom said she told him to come by later, that I wasn’t really feeling too well to see anyone yet.
I didn’t want to admit it, but maybe Mom knows a lot more than I thought she did.
My phone kept ringing and beeping, but I didn’t bother looking at it at all. I knew that it was Nico, and I wasn’t quite ready to talk to him yet.
Suddenly, a something hard hit the glass window of my room. I went towards my window and opened it, and there was Nico, standing in our front yard, looking up at me. “Can we talk?” He asked, sounding very guilty.
I turned down the volume of my music before replying. “About what? About the fact that you were on a dinner date with your almost fiance ex-girlfriend or about the fact that you sounded like I was bothering and disturbing you on your date when I called last night?” I asked sarcastically.
“Drew, I’m sorry about last night, I didn’t mean to sound like that or to make you feel that way, I was just…” Nico explained, he sounded nervous and very guilty.
“You were just what? Too preoccupied on your date with your ex?” I asked, quite in an impatient manner.
“It was not a date, Drew. Our parents arranged the dinner, and I couldn’t say no. Their family is a good friend and business partner of our family so….”
“So? If your Dad asked you to have dinner with Natalia, do you mean you would accept too? Is that it? You would accept every dinner date your parents set you up with, even if we’re already together? What’s worst, Nico, is that she’s your ex, and you almost got engaged with her.”
“Drew…” Nico pleaded. “Please, hear me out. Don’t believe those rumors you read or hear on the news, they’re not true. Emily and I didn’t reached the point where we almost got engaged. I have no plans on getting back together with her either, I don’t feel anything for her anymore, because now I have you. Please, it really meant nothing, so please, don’t be angry anymore. Drew, you’re the one that I want.”
“You don’t get it, do you? I’m not angry that you went out on dinner with her. I don’t care what those articles say, I only care about what you say. I’ll believe everything you say, that’s why I’m feeling this way right now. I’m angry because you lied to me, Nico. You said you were with your family, I called you but you didn’t even bother to tell me that you’re having dinner with your ex. Do you know how hard it was for me to read that article? Do you even know how painful it was? Each word was like a knife stabbing me right into the heart. You’re telling me to believe you instead of those articles, but you already lied to me about last night…” I was feeling really frustrated at that moment, Nico couldn’t see it, but I was clenching my fist, trying to hold back my surging emotions.
“Drew, I’m sorry. I thought that it would be for the better if you didn’t know, I didn’t want to worry you over it… I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to think about it, because it meant nothing at all. Please, Drew… I’m sorry… I’ll do everything… I promise I won’t lie to you again, I’ll never hide anything from you again…”
“Did you know, Nico, my Dad, before he left Mom, he started lying to her, hiding secrets from her, meeting Sylvia behind her back? I don’t want to go through what my Mom went through…” At that moment, tears were starting to form at the back of my eyes. I wasn’t angry anymore, instead I was feeling really scared. Scared of the thought that I would lose Nico.
“I won’t do that to you, Drew… I would never leave you, I would never cheat on you. That dinner with Emily, that wasn’t intentional at all, I was caught off guard…” Nico explained fervently. “Please, Drew, trust me…”
“I do, Nico, I do… but I trusted my Dad too, and he still left… I’m sorry if I’m acting this way, if I am overreacting, I just can’t take losing another man that…” I love… “…that is important to me.”
“Then I’ll show you, I’ll prove to you that you can trust me, that I would never leave you, that you’re the only one for me. So please, give me a chance.”
“Alright…” It’s not like I can say no to him, to Nico, to the man I love.
I don’t why I was still so afraid of telling Nico that I love him. I guess I was still thinking that Nico’s feelings for me was not that deep yet, I guess I was afraid that I was the only one feeling that way.
Nico left and promised to be back later. I still had no clue how he’ll make it up to me. I felt guilty for lashing out to him like that, but I guess my parents’ divorce caused a trauma in my heart and mind, that I was afraid of feeling and experiencing the same pain that my Mom went through during their separation. I didn’t want to lose someone I love, like my Mom did. I didn’t want to end up like my Mom. I didn’t want to lose Nico. Because of that, my emotions, my thoughts, everything became all mixed up, it all welled up until all I could feel was utter frustration.
I calmed down after a few hours of thinking. I decided to talk to Nico more calmly when he comes by again. After thinking a lot, I was finally able to let things go. I can finally hear Nico’s reason. I knew he didn’t mean to lie to me or to hurt me. If anything, Nico was just trying to protect me, he was only thinking what could be the best for me. So I decided, Nico didn’t have to do anything to make it up to me, I’m not angry anymore.
When the doorbell rang, I was actually both anxious and excited. I was so eager to see Nico again, to patch things up and to make-up with him. I realized that I can’t really stay angry at him for too long, maybe that’s the effect of being in love with him to me.
“It’s just you…” I sighed disappointedly as I opened the door and saw Perry outside.
“How rude…” He complained. “After I came all the way here just to check up on you, that’s the kind of welcome I’ll get,” He said as he entered the house.
“Sorry, I was expecting…”
“Nico, right…” Perry said as-a-matter-of-factly. “So, did the two of you talked already? Did you make up with him?” I looked at him quite surprised. “You don’t have to act that surprised, it’s not like it was that hard to figure everything out. You missed school because of the article, didn’t you?”
I sighed. “Well, don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I was depressed or anything, I was just really angry that I wanted to be alone to calm myself down.”
“Angry or jealous?” Perry asked.
“Jealous? Well, a little bit, but I am angry not because he went to dinner with that girl, but because he lied to me about it,” I explained.
“And? Have you talked to him?” Perry asked when I got back from the kitchen and gave him something to drink.
“Yeah, he came by this morning.”
“Ahhh, so that’s where he disappeared to.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, the whole news about him and his ex was all over the school, everyone was talking about it, they were even asking him if the article is true. At first Nico was just ignoring them, but then this one girl asked when the engagement announcement would be and Nico… well, he snapped.”
“What?”
“You should’ve seen it. Nico was really angry, his voice echoed in the hall and his eyes were very sharp, it was quite scary. He didn’t quite say a lot, he just told the girl to, I quote. ‘It’s either you shut your mouth up, or I’ll make sure you’ll never use it to gossip again’,” Perry said as he made a quotation mark gesture in the air.
“He did that?” I was surprised. I guess I wasn’t the only one affected by the article.
“The whole hallway went quiet, I swear it even became colder in there. You know, Kyle, I think Nico snapped because he’s worried about what you would think, maybe he’s afraid that you’re angry at him and that you’ll leave him. It feels weird saying this, but I think Nico really does care for you, maybe even more than you think he does, and maybe his feelings for you are deeper than you’re expecting.”
I was speechless for a moment. It never crossed my mind that Nico was as affected by the article as I was, and for that I felt really guilty. I suddenly regretted talking to him like that, if only I knew what he was really feeling, then I wouldn’t made it difficult for him.
“I feel silly, I’m an idiot. I’m sorry, you must think that I’m being really immature right now, I mean, I even missed school…”
“Kyle, when you first moved here, you wouldn’t even come out of this house.” Perry said. “I know what you’ve been through, and seeing you right now, it’s like the Kyle I first met was just a figment of my imagination. Unlike then, you can smile now, you can laugh, and I can all sorts of emotions from you. I don’t think that you’re being immature, I think, finally, you’re being like a normal teenager, just like me,” Perry said and then chuckled.
“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call you normal,” I jested. “But seriously, Perry, I can be like this right now, all thanks to you.” If Perry didn’t persist to become my friend, then I don’t know where I would be, I don’t even know what would’ve happened to me.
“All I did was make you laugh and smile a bit, but the one who made you normal again, the one who made you live again, it’s all Nico. I think Nico made you whole again, Kyle, that’s why I think he’s really important in your life. I know for sure that if you lose Nico, then you would revert back to the state I first met you in. I like the Kyle I’m talking to right now better than the one I first met. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you should make up with Nico.” Perry sighed. “Man… that was hard.”
Perry was right. Nico made me whole again, and if I lose him, then I would be broken once again, and I don’t think I would ever be whole again if that happens.
“Thank you, my head is a lot clearer now.”
“Thank goodness… I don’t think I could continue talking this serious anymore. I just realized how difficult it is to be this serious, so please, don’t fight with him again, it’s really tiring being the bridge, you know.” Perry then stood up. “I should be going, I’m sure Nico would come by soon, and I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be too happy to see me here right now.”
“Perry…” I called him as he walked out the front door. “Thanks…”
Perry smiled at me and then said, “anytime.”
I waited for Nico to arrive, after Perry left, but he didn’t.
“You’ll make it up to me, huh…” I scoffed, frustrated.
My phone suddenly rang, and I practically ran to it. I was excited, thinking that it might be Nico calling me, but it wasn’t. I feel really guilty for being disappointed in seeing that it was my Mom calling me.
I answered the phone and Mom told me to meet her in a certain restaurant. I was really surprised, first because I had no idea why she wanted to eat out all of a sudden, second because I’ve heard of that restaurant before and I know for a fact that the food there are really expensive.
Arriving at the restaurant, I had no idea what to expect. Somehow it made me nervous, why did Mom want to eat somewhere expensive all of a sudden? Did something good happen?
My questions were instantly answered when I saw my Mom sitting at the table with Nico. I should’ve known that he’s the one behind all that.
Nico stood up when he saw me coming. I walked to the table nervously. Nico even pulled back my chair for me. “What is all this?” I asked Nico.
“I promised you that I would show you and prove to you my sincerity right, that’s what I’m doing right now.”
“With treating my Mom and me to an expensive dinner?” I asked back. “I don’t need…”
“Wait, please, just wait…” Nico pleaded.
“What are you talking about?” Mom asked with a smile.
“Nothing…” I replied. “Why didn’t you tell me that Nico was with you, Mom?”
“Because Nico told me that you two have some sort misunderstanding, and that you’re still mad at him,” Mom replied. “What did you two fight about? You two are close friends right, you shouldn’t be fighting.”
“Is this why you brought Mom, to pressure me to make up with you?” I asked Nico.
“That’s not it,” Nico replied. “Actually, there is something that I want your Mom to hear,” Nico said. “Ms. Husher…” Nico called my Mom, he sounded nervous.
“Mmm…” Mom relied with a smile.
Then suddenly, Nico held my hand on top of the table. It made my heart skip a beat. I looked at Nico and he simply nodded at me.
I knew what Nico was about to do.
It made me nervous.
It made me afraid.
It made my heart race.
I could feel the weight of my Mom’s stare at our hands and I have no idea what was running through her head at that very moment.
“Drew and I…” Nico trailed off. “…we’re…”
“Nico…” I called Nico’s name nervously. He looked at me and I looked backed nervously at him. I was scared, I was really scared.
“It’s alright, Drew. Everything would be alright, just trust me.” Nico said, and somehow his voice and the way he held my hand pushed away the feeling of fright I had. I felt secured, and little bit more confident. “Ms. Husher… Drew and I… the truth is…” There was a bit of a pause and the air around us became heavy and stiff. “…we’re going out.” Nico’s grip on my hand tightened as he said those words.
It was as if my heart stopped altogether, when Nico said those words. I had no idea how Mom would react at all.
Mom stared at us for a moment, without saying anything. The way she looked at us, her silence, everything; it was very nerve wrecking. I was afraid that she was angry that she was going to tell us to break up, right there and then, but she didn’t.
“Is that true, Drew? Are the two of you really going out?” Mom asked seriously. I couldn’t reply at all. All I could do was nod my head. “Then, tell me honestly. Drew, are you happy?”
I was startled at Mom’s question, at some point I was confused. Then I looked at Nico and my confusion went away. I didn’t even have to think about. “Yes, Mom, I am really happy,” I said as I looked at Nico. “Nico makes me happy.”
Mom was again silent for a while.
“I know that this all too sudden,” Nico said. “I would understand if you’re against our relationship, I will accept anything you’ll say, but I can’t break up with Drew. He’s the single most amazing thing that ever happened to my life. I couldn’t imagine my life without him anymore. I promise that I will take care of him, that I will protect him, and that I will treasure him for the rest of my life.” Nico said as he looked at me.
I was overwhelmed at that moment. I could feel that Nico’s words weren’t empty, I could tell that he meant every word that he said. I was truly happy at that moment, my heart was just filled with overflowing joy.
Mom sighed, and to our surprise, she held both mine and Nico’s hands. “If you’re happy, then I’m happy,” Mom said while looking at me. “I could see and feel how much you care for each other, that’s why you should treasure each other more, don’t let just one article come between the two of you. It doesn’t matter what everyone thinks or say, what matters is what the two of you feel for each other.”
“Mom…” I was utterly surprised, I didn’t know what else to say. What made me more surprised was the fact that Nico and I fought over the article.
“I am your mother, Drew. Do you really think I wouldn’t notice?” Mom said with a small smile. “You two should make up already, alright?”
“Ms. Husher…” Nico said. He looked really happy somehow. “Thank you…” I was really surprised when I saw a tear fall from Nico’s eye. “Sorry, I was just really happy…” He said, embarrassed, as he wiped his own tears.
Seeing Nico like that, I felt really secured about his feelings for me, about his true intentions. Somehow that one tear he shed out of shear happiness wiped away all the fear, all the insecurities, and all the anger I was feeling at that moment. All those emotions was replaced by nothing but sheer joy and love.
I would lie if I say that it wasn’t awkward at the beginning, because it really was. I couldn’t eat properly because my heart was still pounding like crazy.
Nico drove Mom and I home. Mom went inside the house first while Nico and I stayed at the porch for a while. “Drew… are you still mad at me?” Nico asked as we sat by the steps just in front of our front door.
“I can’t stay angry at you… I wasn’t really angry at you in the first place, I guess I was just insecure and scared…” I said truthfully. “Actually I want to apologize to you. I’m sorry for being unreasonable, sorry for giving you a hard time, I’m sorry for getting angry over such a petty thing.”
“No… You don’t have to apologize, I understand…” Nico said as he held my hand. “I promise, I won’t hide anything to you anymore.”
“What made you decide to tell my Mom about us?” I asked Nico.
“I wanted to show you how serious I am about you, how much I care about you. I know your Mom means a lot to you, Drew, and I wanted her to be the witness of my true feelings for you. The truth is, there’s something else I wanted to say to your Mom, but it didn’t feel right back then, since I haven’t said it to you personally yet.”
“What is it?” I asked.
Nico placed my hand he was holding onto his chest. “Can you feel that?” He asked as he pressed my hand on his left chest. I could feel his heart pounding strongly. “My heart would always pound that strong, that loud, whenever you are with me, whenever I will hear your voice or see your face, it would beat even louder whenever I would touch you, and it would simply go crazy when I kiss you, thinking about you is no different either.” True to his words, Nico’s heart was indeed beating strongly. “Everything about you makes my heart go crazy. Everything about you makes me go crazy.”
My hand was shaking at that moment. Feeling Nico’s heart beat made me realize that I wasn’t the only one feeling strongly about him. Maybe, just maybe, Nico feels the same way for me. If it’s so, then I would be the happiest, there’s nothing else that I would need.
“I don’t know why I just realized it now.” Nico continued. “I’m sorry if it took this long for me to realize this, but there’s no denying it anymore, Drew.” Nico said and pressed my hand harder on his chest. “Now, I finally understand what I really feel for you. From the very first time I saw you swimming at that lake, I was captivated, and that captivation only grew and grew as I spend more time with you, until I just woke up one morning realizing that I…” Nico paused and sighed. He sounded nervous, his hand was shaking as mine was Nico breathed deeply. “Drew… I’m in love with you. I love you. I love you.” Nico said and I felt his grip on my hand weakened.
Nico’s heart was beating like crazy. It was so strong, so fast, and so loud that I could hear it with my own ears.
My heart stopped.
My mind went blank.
I was lost. Very lost.
There were so many things that I could’ve done at that moment, but all I was able to do was shed tears from sheer happiness.
I waited and dreamed for so long to hear Nico say those words. I held back for such a long time to say those exact words to him because I was afraid that he didn’t feel the same. Finally, finally, I heard the words I wanted to hear the most from the one person I love the most.
“I’m not dreaming, right? This is real, right?” I sobbed as I gripped Nico’s chest tight. “You said you love me, right?” Tears just kept falling form my eyes. I was so happy that my heart was going crazy. I was so happy that I couldn’t control my own emotions.
“You’re not dreaming, Drew…” He said and wiped my tears with his thumb. “…and I could say it over and over again. I love you, Drew. I love you. I love you.” Nico said.
“Stop…” It became really hard for me to breath. My heart was pounding like crazy. “If you keep saying it, then I will have a heart attack.”
Nico smiled at me. “Drew, does that mean…?”
I held Nico’s hand and then placed in on my own chest, making him feel the crazy beating of my heart. “My heart is the same Nico, it’s beating like crazy because of you.” I replied. “I too, Nico, I too, love you. I wanted to say it for so long… I love you, I do, I really do.”
As I said those words, a bright and wide smile erupted on Nico’s face. And to my surprise, a tear fell from Nico’s eye as well. Seeing that tear, I smiled back at him. While still feeling each other’s heart beats, Nico and I held hands, intertwining our fingers and feeling the warmth of each other.
We didn’t have to kiss to know what we feel for each other. Feeling each other’s heart beat was enough. And somehow, knowing that the heart of that one person I love was beating the same way as mine, with love for me, somehow that gave me a sensation more intoxicating than any kiss.
Finally I could say those words. Those words that was trying to leap out of my heart for so long. Finally I could say that what Nico and I have was not just romance. No, it’s something more than that, something deeper. What we have is love, not merely romance.
++++++++++++++++++++END OF FIRST PART++++++++++++++++++++
[text_hash] => 6b40b669
)