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Emily Green gave a short speech. It was all about how important reading is. The way she gave her speech, it was really boring. I don’t even get why a publishing company needs an endorser. The Robinsons must be really desperate to get higher sales.
After giving her speech, Emily went down the stage and started greeting the guests. Nico and I were getting drinks at that moment. He looked normal to me, but I was unsure what he was really feeling at that moment.
“Are you alright?” I asked Nico.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Nico replied.
“Come on, Nico. You know what I mean.”
Nico sighed. “Honestly, I’m surprised to see her here. I would be lying if I say that her presence here doesn’t affect me in any way. Quite surprisingly, though, I feel really fine. I thought it would harder for me to see her, or to be near her, but I’m totally alright. I actually feel alright.” Somehow, Nico sounded surprised himself.
“That’s good then.” I was really glad that Nico was alright. I don’t know what I’m happier about, though. The fact that Nico wasn’t brooding or the fact that he was slowly moving on from Emily?
“You said you’re fine having her around, right? You said you weren’t as affected as you thought you would be.” I said slowly.
“Yeah. Why?” Nico asked.
“Well… what about Stephen Jacobs? Are you fine seeing him together with Emily?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Why are you asking?”
“He just arrived,” I said as I watched Stephen Jacobs walked towards Emily. “And now they’re holding hands.” Idiot. Why did I say that? Nico suddenly furrowed his eyebrows. I guess having Emily around was fine with him, but having the man who came in between them was still an open wound of sort. “You’re not fine…” I sighed.
“Don’t get the wrong idea. It’s not like I’m getting angry because they’re together.” Nico explained. “I just don’t really like that man.” His words sounded like nothing but an excuse to me, though. An excuse to convince himself that he was moving from Emily.
“You don’t like seeing him with Emily?” I asked, but Nico didn’t reply. “If it’s still hard for you to see her with another man, then it only means…” What’s wrong with me? Why do I feel so disappointed?
“That’s not it.” Nico said, interrupting me. “Everything is over between me and her. She choose that guy over me, and I have to accept that. No, I have accepted that. I’m moving on.”
I looked at Nico, unconvinced by his words. “Ok.” I said shortly.
“Come on, I’ll prove it to you.” He said and then took my hand and then pulled me.
“Hey, where are we going?” I asked him.
“We’re going to talk to Emily and Stephen. I’m going to prove to you that I’m over her, and that I’m not affected with them being together,” Nico said persistently. I see. That’s why he held my hand. We’re going to pretend to be dating, in front of Stephen and Emily.
“How is that going to prove anything?” I complained. “Besides, it sounds to me that you’re trying to prove things to yourself, not me.” I added.
“Drew…” Nico said as he stopped. “Could you please… just let me prove it to you…?” Nico said, sounding a bit exhausted. His fingers intertwined with mine, and then he tightened his hold on my hand. His hand was cold and shaky.
It was then that I understood what he was really feeling at that moment. He was trying to prove tings to himself, but he was afraid of admitting it to himself. He was afraid of the possibility that he might still get hurt because of her.
The only thing I could do back then was sigh and go on with whatever Nico wanted to do. It was the only way I know to help him feel better. At the back of my head, I was hoping that Nico would realize that he really had moved on from Emily.
I don’t know why, but the idea of Nico moving on from Emily was really appealing to me.
“Nico…” Emily muttered when Nico and I approached the two of them.
The first thing I noticed was the way Stephen’s arm was around her waist. He was holding her so close to him, quite in a possessive and protective manner, in my opinion.
“Ahh… Director Bellard, fancy meeting you here.” Stephen said as he shook hands with Nico.
“I’m quite surprised myself.” Nico replied.
“I see you brought someone with you.” Stephen said as he looked Nico’s hand tightly holding mine. Stephen then smiled a little and asked. “If you don’t mind me asking, who is the fine looking gentleman with you? You two look really close.” He added in a meaningful tone.
“Stephen, I don’t think that’s appropriate…” Emily said. She was trying to sound polite, but I’m quite sure that she just didn’t want to hear the answer from Nico.
“No, it’s quite alright.” Nico replied. “This wonderful man here, is Kyle Andrew Stevenson,” Nico said and then pulled me closer to him. “He is a very talented Creative Producer, and I’m very lucky to be dating him.”
Here it comes.
The act begins again.
“Dating?” Stephen Jacobs was very surprised. Emily, on the other hand, looked kind of hurt. “I didn’t know that you swing that way, Director. It never occurred to me that you’re interested in men.” Stephen said with an arrogant snicker.
“It’s not like I’m interested in men in general, I’m just very interested in Drew.” Nico said in a very gentle tone. I was surprised when he turned to me and looked at me admiringly, there was also a very gentle and warm smile on his face. “I don’t care whether Drew’s a man or woman, his gender is not an issue at all. All I know is that he makes me happy, more than ever before. When I’m with him, I feel content, I feel strong, with Drew, everything is perfect. It just simply feels so right.” He added.
All those sweet words made my hurt flutter in joy, although I know that every single thing that he said was a lie. An act to show Emily that he has moved on, an act that he started to get away from dating Natalia, an act that I just so happened to be involved.
I know it was all lies, but I can’t help but feel happy about it.
I hate it. I hate being swallowed in the fantasy that we both created. If that happens, then I wouldn’t be any better than Emily Green.
Stephen had a small smile while Emily’s face was showing the hurt she was feeling. I could tell that hearing Nico say all those words about me was like a knife stabbing her right into her heart.
“I see.” Stephen said. “So, when and where did you meet Nico, Drew?” Stephen asked looking directly at me. I don’t know what he’s up to for asking me, and I wouldn’t mind answering him, but he stepped on a landmine right away.
I looked back sharply at Stephen. “Stop calling me that.” I said in a brazen and authoritative manner.
“What?” Stephen asked, taken aback by my reaction.
“Who said that you can call me Drew? Don’t get ahead of yourself.” I replied. “If you want to continue acting with pretty face of yours, stop calling me Drew.” I was honestly very angry at Stephen at that moment. How dare he call me in that name so casually? We’re not even friends.
“Drew…” Nico held me back, as I stepped forward, closer to Stephen. “Calm down…” Nico looked at Stephen. “Sorry, Drew hates it when other people calls him Drew. It’s kind of a very sensitive and personal to him. Everyone usually calls him by his first name, Kyle.” Nico explained.
“Is that so?” Stephen was confused. “I’m sorry, I had no idea.” He added. “You two must be really close then, since you can call him Drew?” Stephen asked Nico.
“It’s a special name that only special people to my life can use.” I replied. I was getting tired to the attention he was giving me and Nico. “Enough of the two of us.” I looked at Emily’s ring finger. “I see that you’re still not wearing any ring on your ring finger.” I said and then smiled meaningfully at Emily.
Emily instantly covered her finger. Stephen and Nico both looked at me as well. All three of them was staring at me, shocked and confused.
“I heard that you two are planning on getting engaged, so what’s holding you back?” I asked.
“I don’t know where you heard that, but that’s a little bit too personal.” Emily replied instantly.
“Your boyfriend asked pretty personal questions about Nico and me too, so why can’t I do the same?” I asked back. “Is it a sore topic? Don’t tell me you two are having problems in your relationships.” Nico tugged my hand and I squeezed his hand. Just trust me on this Nico. I would get revenge for you.
There’s no holding back, after all, I already waged war on Emily.
“That’s impossible. Emily and I are doing absolutely fine.” Stephen replied. “We’re just taking things slow. Right, Emily?” Stephen asked as he looked at Emily and smiled.
“Right.” Emily replied. “We don’t like rushing things, we like to take things slow, because we don’t want to end up making bad decisions. Besides, Stephen knows exactly what we are to each other,” Emily said and looked at Nico.
I was worried about Nico, I was worried that he might get hurt by Emily’s reply, but I was really surprised by his reaction. “That’s good hear then, but I really think that you should get engaged soon, you look good together.” He said with a smile.
“Nico…” Emily sounded really surprised. “Do you really mean that…?” Her voice was a bit shaky. Quite frankly, I also wanted to know why Nico said those words. What was his intention? Was that his real feelings? Or was he just showing a brave front?
“Yeah…” Nico replied. His voice wasn’t very convincing though. It was like he’s regretting saying those words, it felt like he meant the complete opposite of his words.
Emily and Nico’s eyes met, and they didn’t break eye contact after that.
Suddenly, I felt a stabbing pain in my heart. I couldn’t explain it, but seeing Nico and Emily looking each other in such manner was slowly making my irritation grow. I can’t help it, but I seem to really hate the idea of Nico getting back together with Emily.
Why do I keep having this feeling? Why do I seem to hate seeing Nico look at Emily like that? What the hell am I feeling? What is happening to me?
I hate that moment, and slowly my irritation was growing more and more.
“What an interesting sight.” Out of nowhere, Natalia appeared. “All four of you together, how very interesting.” She added.
“Suddenly I’m in a far worst mood.” I sighed. I looked at Natalia. “It might be interesting to you, but it’s getting really boring for me.”
“Are you enjoying the party, Kyle?” Natalia asked in a condescending tone. “Since it a high-class party that you rarely attend, you should take advantage of this opportunity and enjoy.” She belittled me. “But you should be careful, since you don’t usually experience events like this, you might just embarrass yourself.”
“It seems that you’re misunderstanding something, Natalia,” I said and then looked at her sharply. “Seeing that this place is packed with hypocrites, plastics, sly, conniving people with superiority complex, I think calling it high-class is a stretch.” I said and then grinned at her. “I mean, the host of this gala is, a woman that tried to destroy a family, a company that attempted land grabbing, and a group of thieves and plagiarists. If you ask me, this party is a dump,” I said.
“What did you just say? Say that again and you’ll see what you’re looking for. Don’t forget that you’re in my territory right now, so I suggest that you watch your words.” Natalia hissed angrily at me.
“Or what? You’re going to throw me out? There’s no need for that, I’m already bored of this party anyway,” I said and then gave Natalia one last glare.
I let go of Nico’s hand, seeing that his eyes were too focus on Emily. It was very obvious that he still have lingering feelings for her, and that he still cares for her. “Don’t you think everyone had enough of living in this fantasy? I think it’s about time we all go back to our own realities,” I said as I looked at Emily, Stephen, and then reluctantly at Nico.
I don’t why I felt so disappointed. I guess, at the back of my head, I was hoping that he really was over with Emily. That he really had moved on already.
“You did prove something to me… I was right…” I said in a low voice to Nico, then I walked away.
Thinking that Nico still had feelings for Emily.
Imagining the two of them getting back together.
For some reason… it hurts…
It really hurts.
My heart hurts.
Why does my heart hurt? Why am I feeling this way?
Could I be…?
No… No… No… It can’t be…
I can’t be…
There’s no way I am…
Am I…?
I walked out of the ballroom with my mind and heart both filled with confusion. I still couldn’t make out what I really feel for Nico. I still couldn’t understand what Nico really is to me.
Why didn’t I realize sooner that my feelings for him were growing, and that it was becoming something beyond caring for a friend?
I found my way to the elevator. It was empty and quiet, something that gave me a strong sense of nostalgia. For the third time in my life, I saw another inexplicable vision.
I was alone in an elevator, I looked really troubled, really sorrowful. The elevator door was about to closed when a hand stopped it. The vision skipped and I saw myself in the elevator with another boy whose face was all blurry. The vision kept skipping; the boy pushed me on the wall of the elevator, then the last thing I saw was me and him… kissing passionately.
There’s no way that something like ever happened to me before. I had never been interested in any person of the same sex before.
Why do I keep seeing those visions?
I know that the boy in my other visions was the same with the one I saw myself kissing on the elevator, but I have no idea who he is.
It’s way too vivid, and felt too real to be just a daydream or a hallucination.
Am I really going crazy?
At the back of my head, though, I was hoping that Nico would appear and run after me, just like the boy in my vision, but he didn’t.
I was so deep in my own thoughts, I was practically in a daze. I didn’t even realized that the elevator had already reached the ground floor. I couldn’t even fathom how confused I am in that moment. There are so many thoughts, so many different emotions fighting inside of me that I couldn’t even think.
Still in a state of confusion, I stepped out of the elevator and slowly walked towards the hotel’s front entrance. As I walked, I bumped into a woman, and all her things fell down on the floor.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking,” I apologized as I crouched down and helped her get her belongings.
“Don’t run away from it.” She suddenly said in a voice that was very calm and yet resounding. “Don’t deny it. Accept it and face it.” She continued.
“Excuse me?” I had no idea what she was talking about.
“Remember what you have to do.” She said. “Time is running out, you must repair the tie.” With those words, the woman gathered all her belongings and walked away.
“What are you talking about? What do I have to do? What tie?” I asked as I stood up and turned around, but the woman was already walking out of the hotel. I wanted to go after her and clarify things, but then I heard Nico call me.
“Drew!” Nico sounded worried, for some reason.
No. Don’t look back. Seeing Nico right now wouldn’t help at all, it’s the last thing I need. I need to go as far away from him as possible, I need to clear my head, before I explode. I need to figure out my own feelings.
I ignored Nico’s call and then walked towards the hotel entrance.
“Drew, talk to me.” Nico insisted as he caught up to me. He took me by the arm and then turned me around. “What’s wrong? What happened? Why did you suddenly leave like that?” He sounded very worried.
I refused to look at Nico in the eyes. I was afraid that my feelings would be swayed and I would end up wanting to be with him even more. I was afraid to find out what I really feel for him. Because at that moment, I wasn’t ready for anything like that.
There are so many excuses I could think of to convince myself to stop developing deeper feelings for Nico, but each time I would think of one, I would instantly come up with a reason to counter it almost immediately.
“Nothing. I’m tired, Nico. I want to go home.” I told him in a somewhat cold tone.
“Did I do something? Are you angry? Tell me, so I can properly apologize for it.” Nico insisted. “Tell me, Drew, what did I do wrong?”
“I told you, it’s nothing…” I insisted.
“Then, why can’t you even look at me right now?” Nico asked. He sounded really frustrated.
“I’m tired, Nico. I want to rest, I want to go home, and I want to be alone.” Still, I wasn’t able to look at him in the eyes at all. I felt really guilty for treating him that way, but most of all, I felt guilty for my developing feelings for him. It felt like I was taking advantage of his kindness, that I was giving a different meaning to his kindness. I felt like I was putting malice into our friendship. I felt like a terrible person. “I need to think, Nico. My head and my…” I sighed. “I’m just so confused right now… please, just let me go.” I pleaded as I tried to remove his grip on my arm.
Nico’s grip was tight. He was strong, and I couldn’t escape from his grasp at all. “I don’t want to, Drew. Something inside of me is telling me that if I let you go, then I would regret it. I won’t let go.” Nico said seriously. “You need to tell me what’s going on. You need to talk to me. What are you so confused of? What’s going on? Drew, please, tell me.”
“Why? Why do I have to tell you? Why do you want to know?” I asked back. “I don’t see any reason why I have to tell you anything.” I replied.
“Because I care about you, Drew. I care about you and I want to help you. If I can, I want to make you feel better.” Nico said in a gentle voice. “So tell me, what happened?”
“You can’t do that, Nico… That’s unfair… If you keep treating me that kindly, if you keep on being so nice to me, then I… I…” I said exhaustedly.
If he continues doing that, then I won’t be able to stop my feelings from developing even deeper for him. I wouldn’t be able to run away and hide from this confusing feeling I was starting to realize that I have for him.
“Then you’re what, Drew…?” Nico asked curiously.
Why does he have to call me in such gentle manner?
Why is my heart fluttering every time he calls me Drew?
Why do I feel hot in the places that he touched?
Why, of all people, do I feel these things with Nico?
“You shouldn’t be too nice to me, Nico. I’m not that good of a person…” I told him.
“That’s not true, Drew. You’re the kindest, nicest, most genuine person I’ve ever met. To hear you say that, just makes me more convinced that something is going on. Drew, you can tell me everything.” Nico said and my heart fluttered even more.
“Do you really want to know what’s going with me?” I asked him and then looked at him. When I saw his pleading eyes, something inside of me stirred. Just thinking of what I was about to do gave me butterflies in my stomach.
“I do.” Nico replied.
“Then let me show you…” I told him.
My head was just so cloudy that time that I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t rationalize whether what I was about to do was right or wrong. I didn’t even think of the consequences that my action would bring.
My body moved on its own.
And the next thing I know, I did something that would change my life, our lives, forever.
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