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“Ahhh… you’re really heavy…” I stretched my neck and massaged my sore arms as I sat on the edge of my bed and looked at Director Jovan sleeping peacefully. “At least, you stopped dreaming about Emily,” I sighed.
Bringing him up to my flat was really difficult, and getting him in my room was even more difficult. I had to be careful not to wake Brent up, or else he’ll go ballistic if he finds out that I’m bringing someone I just knew in my room.
Director started moving again; he was trying to pull away his collar. “Ahhh… This is such pain…” I sighed and looked up as my eyes were closed. “Fine… you’re feeling hot aren’t you?” I walked to the head of the bed and the leaned closer to my needy patient. I undid a few buttons of his shirt to let him breath, but it seemed that he wasn’t with just that. “What? Still not satisfied…?”
As I started to unbutton his shirt, I noticed that Director Jovan was really sweating a lot. He did drink a lot, after all. I lifted his upper body as I took off his shirt and as I gently let him fall on the bed, I noticed for the first time, how defined his upper body was.
His chests looked firm, his abs was chiseled, and he even have a V cut.
I really lost myself that moment, I didn’t realize that I had been staring at his body for a few minutes already. Not only his body; I also couldn’t stop looking at his face either. “What I am doing? I must be going crazy?”
A very handsome face, a great body, and a great talent in film making. He’s even from the prominent Bellard Family. How can he be that perfect? Wait, he’s not really that perfect. “Your attitude is the only problem…” I sighed. “We’ve clearly met in the meeting yesterday, how come you didn’t even recognized me? How rude…”
I went out for a while to get a towel and a bowl of water. Director Jovan was sweating a lot, so I thought that I could cool him down a bit. “This is too weird…” I sighed and begun toweling his body. I was looking away the whole time, because for some reason, every time I would look at his body, I would start to space out and have some weird thoughts.
“You know, everyone around you is calling you scary and cold.” I said in a low voice as I continued wiping his body with the wet towel. “I don’t know why, but I just can’t see you that way. There’s a big chance that I am wrong, though, but seeing you getting drunk because of that woman, I think I get why you’re that way. You… aren’t you just lonely?”
Director Jovan moaned in his sleep. “I get it… I’ll stop talking…” I said as I finished toweling his face. “You rest now…” I was about to move away, but then Director Jovan took my hand and held it gently on his face as he moaned incoherently. “It’s alright… everything will be alright…” I said as I held his hand with my other hand.
At that moment, all I could think was that Director was in real pain. He must really love Emily Green, and their situation must be really painful to him. I don’t know what the circumstances were between him, Emily and Stephen, all I know is that Director Jovan really loved Emily.
I was lucky the next day. Brent went to work early so I didn’t have to worry about him seeing Director Jovan. I stayed in the living room, after cooking some hangover soup for Director Jovan.
After a while, I heard some rustling inside my room. “He’s finally awake…”
The door of my room opened, and Director Jovan walked out, quite confused. He then saw me on the sofa and stared sharply at me. “What am I doing here? Who are you?” He asked in such a cold tone.
“So the rumors are true after all…” I muttered to myself. “You passed out drunk at The Black Bull, so I brought you here at my place and let you sleep on my bed. I think this is the first time that I slept on the floor of my room.” I said.
“Why did you bring me here? I can go home by myself.” He said in the same cold tone.
“How can you go home? You passed out, I told you.” I replied and then smiled.
“Then you could’ve just left me there? You didn’t have to help me, unnecessarily. I don’t feel comfortable, getting help from strangers.” His voice became sharper.
“Not just cold, but also rude…” I muttered.
“What?”
“I said you’re rude.” I replied as-a-matter-of-factly. “We’re not really strangers, you know. It looks you don’t recognize me at all, so I’ll just tell you. I’m Kyle Andrew Stevenson, Creative Producer from Diamond Sky Productions, and just the other day we started working together for the same project.”
Director Jovan only looked at me and blinked a few times.
I sighed at his cluelessness. “Don’t you think you’re being a bit too unprofessional, Director Jovan Bellard? How can you not remember those who are working with you?” I asked as I raised an eyebrow. “Well, forget it, you’ll have a lot of time to remember, since we’ll be working together for quite some time.”
“Is that so…?” His tone changed, somehow he sounded a bit guilty. “I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you.” He didn’t even sound remotely apologetic. “Well, sorry for trouble, I’ll be taking my leave now.” He said quite shyly and walked towards the door.
“Wait a minute!” I called and then raised in the air his car keys that I was holding. “I’ll give back your keys, after you finish eating the hangover soup I made.”
“What? Are you kidding me?!” He sounded a bit pissed off.
“No, I’m serious. You drank too much last night, you probably have a headache right now, the soup I made would make feel better, that’s why sit down and finish bowl, then I’ll give back your car keys,” I said with a smile as I stood up.
“Do what you want…”
I heated the soup and served it to the impatient man sitting at my dining area. “Here,” I said as I placed the bowl in front of him. “It’s hot, so eat slowly.”
Director Jovan hesitated at first, but he ended up eating it. I knew that he’s already in a bad mood, so I let him eat in peace. “Here,” I placed his car keys on the table after he finished his bowl. “I already called a cab for you, so you can go back to The Black Bull to get your car.”
“If there’s nothing else, I’ll leave,” He said and then stood up. “If you happen to see me passed-out drunk next time, just let me be. There’s no need to do unnecessary things,” He said before walking towards the door.
“You should take it easy on the alcohol.” I said as I walked towards the sofa. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not unnecessarily being worried about you.” I sat down. “It’s just that a director that’s always passed-out drunk is of no use to the production. Plus, getting drunk won’t solve anything at all.” I added.
“I’ll remember that,” he said in a sharp tone. I heard him open the door, but there was a pause. “Thank you…” He said in a low voice that I almost didn’t hear, then I heard the door close.
I looked back the instant I heard him thank me, but Director Jovan was already gone. Those words put a smile on my face and I chuckled. “So he’s just a shy guy… huh…” I said and laughed to myself.
When I got to the office, some of the staff in my department were forming a group behind a computer. “What are you doing?” I asked.
“We’re forming a battle plan,” Helena said.
“For what?”
“Steven A.K.’s book release tomorrow, a limited edition autographed hard cover would be available for the first 100 customers at the Sapphire Pages Main Store, and we plan to each get one,” Helena said excitedly. “We might be able to see him too…” She added enthusiastically.
“Meeting him might be a stretch…” I said. “I heard that no one had ever seen him in person yet, not even his editor or publisher.”
“Ha…” Helena sighed. “You’re right… but that what made him more interesting, of course his books are always superb, he never fails to move my heart, but his elusiveness makes me even more intrigued and interested. Say, Kyle, maybe if we get him to agree to turn his book…”
“That’s impossible,” I said instantly.
“Why are you so sure?”
“It’s not like we’re going to be the first ones to ask for the movie rights of his books. Besides, he flatly declined every single offer, no matter how much the offer was, no matter who the producer or director.”
“But, we can still try. We have you after all, all the writers trust you more than any creative producers in the industry. Maybe you can convince him.”
“Steven A.K. is not that easy. For him, his stories are like his own children. How would you feel if someone asked to borrow your child and started making changes to the kid? Besides, he’s a really stubborn guy,” I explained.
“You sound you like you know him too well,” Helena said.
“Well, that’s what I heard…” I replied nervously with a chuckle and then left. “That was close…” I left out a sigh of relief.
I was busy with planning for the new project the whole day, but from time to time, Director Jovan would pop into my mind. I would always remember hearing him say thank you, and that would always make me smile. Maybe he’s not really cold, maybe he really is just a shy guy? I thought.
I, Perry, and Brent had dinner at Rider Fred’s BBQ that night. We like their signature barbeque sauce and baby back ribs. Plus Perry and Brent would consume an unbelievable amount of beer every time we ate there, I guess I’ll have to make another batch of hangover soup tomorrow.
“Hey!” I heard Perry’s voice.
“Oh…” I replied. I was spaced out, because I just remembered how Director Jovan looked when he was eating the soup I made. He had a nonchalant expression on his face, but he didn’t look he was complaining about the food either.
“What’s wrong with you?” Perry asked. “You kept on spacing out.”
“Sorry, I was just thinking about the new project,” I lied.
“Don’t overwork yourself. You might faint again,” Brent said worriedly as he patted me on the head. Perry, who was sitting on the other side of the table, was looking at Brent’s hands as he drank from his mug of beer.
“Mmm…” I nodded.
“Ahh, that’s right,” Perry said. “I asked my highschool friends about Bellard…”
“You did what?” I was surprised that Perry did that.
“I asked him to,” Brent answered. “I heard that they went to the same highschool, and I figured that things would be easier if we ask someone who knew him since back then.”
“So, as I was saying,” Perry said. “It looks like Bellard and Emily Green had been on-again off-again ever since our first year. Their relationship seems rocky, but they always ends up getting back together.”
“I see… So, that director must be trying to get back together with Emily Green. That might be what the paparazzi captured,” Brent said.
“No… I don’t think that’s it…” I wondered. “When did the news about Emily and Stephen going out broke out?” I asked them.
“Wait…” Perry said and then googled it on his phone. “Ohhh, just before the release of their first movie together.”
“Right… I think, that Emily and Stephen’s relationship is nothing more than a publicity stunt,” I told them.
“Meaning, Emily Green and that director are the real couple, but they had to keep it hidden for the sake of Emily and Stephen’s reputation,” Perry said.
“I see. Since the love team of Emily and Stephen have great chemistry, their agencies must be the one who came up with such an idea, to increase the revenue of the movie, and increase interest to the stars themselves,” Brent added.
“Right…” I sighed. “But you know, the one who’s suffering the most because of all these schemes, is Director Jovan,” I said worriedly. “It must be really painful to see your lover in the arms of another person, it must be really painful for him to see her pretend to be in love with some other man …”
“What’s this…? Why do you sound so worried about him?” Perry asked.
“Nothing… Just… I just think that he must be lonely…” I replied with a wry smile.
Brent suddenly placed his mug of beer down the table loudly. “There’s no need to worry about someone you don’t even know, Kyle,” Brent said. “With the way you talk, I’m afraid that you might get yourself involved in his problem. Kyle, you can’t help everyone you think is too lonely.”
I only looked at Brent and gave a small modest smile. He’s right, I felt it myself, there’s a big possibility that I could end getting involved with Director Jovan more than I should. I just can’t stop worrying and thinking how lonely he must really be.
As usual, I was really busy the next day. Although the new project is yet to begin, there were a lot of shows that I was responsible for. It didn’t help that Helena and her friends requested to come late to get the new book by Steven A.K.
“Aren’t they here yet, Helena and friends?” Perry asked as he came in my office.
“Not yet…” I sighed.
“Those girls…” Perry hissed as he placed my lunch on my desk. “I figured out that you’ll be too busy to even go out for lunch, so I bought that for you. Hurry up and eat,” he said as he sat down in front of my desk.
I was eating my lunch when I received a text that simply put a smile on my face. It made me feel really grateful and blessed, and at the same time it gave even more confidence to continue what I was doing. The message read: Sold Out.
“What are you smiling about, all of a sudden?” Perry asked curiously.
“Nothing…” I said and then chuckled a bit.
Perry shook his head. “You’re hiding something, aren’t you?” As usual, Perry is very intuitive. “I may not know what you’re hiding right now, but I will find it out.” He added. “I will not push you to tell what it is, just please, don’t do anything that would hurt yourself.”
“You worry too much,” I said.
“Because you tend to overdo things. Isn’t that why you fainted? Because you overworked yourself,” Perry said and raised an eyebrow.
Helena and her group arrived after lunch and they had huge smiles on their faces. They got the limited edition autographed hard cover copies of the book they wanted, and they even showed it to me before I left the office.
Seeing them excited about the book was enough to make me proud.
I was about to go back to my flat when I received a call from Dan. “Kyle, thank goodness you answered.”
“Dan? This is rare, is something wrong?”
“It’s your friend, he’s here again. He’s drinking Scotch this time, and he already had a few…”
“Wait a minute, who exactly are you talking about?” I asked. He couldn’t be talking about Perry, because Perry was still at the office when I left. It couldn’t be Brent either, because he said he would stay at the office for overtime.
“That friend of yours who passed out the other day, the one I helped you carry into your car,” Dan replied.
“I see… Ehhhh?!” Director Jovan is getting drunk again? “Then, did he passed out again?” I asked. What is he doing? Doesn’t he have a meeting with us tomorrow morning? Why is he getting drunk now of all times?
“He’s about to,” Dan said. “Can you pick him up again?”
Since when did I become his baby sitter? If only there’s no production meeting tomorrow, then I would gladly leave him be, just like he asked, but this new project is really important to our company, he’s already causing trouble because of his scandal with Emily, I can’t let him cause any more trouble because of alcohol abuse. I refuse to let him screw this project up.
“I understand, I’m coming there,” I said.
Director Jovan was in the same spot as the other day, he just ordered another glass of Scotch when I arrived. “Didn’t you just pass out drunk the other day, and you’re already here for a repeat performance?” I said as I took hold of the glass that Dan just served him.
“Let go,” Director Jovan ordered me in very cold tone without turning his head. I kept holding the glass. “I said let it go,” He said as turned his head, even his glare was cold.
“Stop drinking,” I insisted.
“And why should I do what you say?” He scoffed at me. “Give me another glass.”
“Don’t.”
“What’s with you? I thought I already told you to leave me alone before. I told you, didn’t I, I don’t need your unnecessary help or worry.” Director sounded very impatient. “Give me another glass,” he told Dan.
“I also did tell you that the only thing I’m worried about is our new project. We have no need of a useless drunk director,” I replied in the same tone as his. “Don’t give him another glass,” I told Dan.
“Don’t worry, I can still do my job pretty well,” Director Jovan insisted. “Besides, what I do on my personal time is none of your business. Just leave me alone. I don’t need any help or worry from some stranger like you. Acting like we’re already close just because you helped me once, you disgust me. We are strangers, so stop acting like we’re close enough to help or worry about each other. I have no intentions of being friends with someone like you. I don’t need you, so just get lost.”
“This is unbelievable. To think that the great young director that everyone is praising and idolizing is nothing more than weak-hearted, hard-headed, and selfish asshole.” I was already clenching my fist at that time. I was really getting angry, but more than that, I was really hurt by his words. I knew what he said was right, if it came from other people, then I would not care, but hearing those words from him… it was really painful. “If you drown yourself in alcohol, then go ahead, the hell I care!” I said angrily. I was about to leave but I turned back once again. “You can act cold and strong all you want, but truth would remain the same; you’re nothing but lonely man, left by his lover for her own career.”
Director Jovan hit the bar with his fists. “Shut up.”
“Why? Does it hurt you, hearing the truth from some stranger?”
“You know nothing, so just shut your mouth.” He sounded really angry, but he’s not scaring me at all. He can try to act scary all he want, but it wouldn’t work on me anymore.
“I actually know a lot,” I told him with a grin. “About your long history with her, and her relationship with that other guy is no other than a publicity stunt. You must be really lonely, that’s why you’re always so cold and scary, because the very woman you love can’t even be with you. Because she’s happily pretending to be some other man’s lover.”
At that very moment, Director Jovan stood up from his seat and then took me by the collar. Everyone around was surprised. “Stop talking like you know her.”
He was getting angry because I was talking bad about that woman. Somehow that frustrates me even more. “If you continue to be this pathetic, getting drunk every other night, do you think she’ll come running into your arms?! Don’t kid yourself! You can drink all you want, but nothing would change; you’ll remain a heartbroken coward and she would still be staying in the arms of that guy instead of yours!”
“Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.” His eyes looked really scary. His grip on my collars was getting even tighter as well.
“Get a hold of yourself! You pathetic man! If you really love her, then take her back! Stop acting like so pathetic while you’ve done nothing but mope around and get drunk! Take her back and stop making yourself miserable!”
“It’s not that easy…” Somehow his voice changed. He didn’t sound impatient or angry anymore. Director Jovan sounded sad, really sad. I saw his eyes, they were starting to tear up. “I’ve done all I can, but there’s nothing I can do to protect her, I can’t make her come back… I’m already too late…”
I was right.
He’s lonely.
He’s really lonely.
Things weren’t supposed to end that way. I shouldn’t have done that, but as I gaze upon his lonely eyes, and as I listened to his sorrowful voice, I wasn’t able to hold back myself.
“It’s alright…” I said as I slowly and gently held his hands that were on my collar. “I’m here…” Our eyes met then, and I could clearly see his sorrow in them.
I didn’t know what came over me.
I shouldn’t have said that.
I wasn’t supposed to say that.
But I did.
Director Jovan must have been really drunk at that time, because the next thing I knew was; he’s already passed out with his head on my shoulder and my arms around him.
But… just before he passed out… Director Jovan did something… something that ignited the slow changes in my heart.
That night, that man, started everything.
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