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Autumn is in the final stages before winter takes over and all the leaves are gone. The holidays are fast approaching. Yoongi is looking outside from his window, his eyes are fixed in the leaves that are desperately holding onto the bare branches. His smile is perfectly tugged in his face, his heart at peace and with full of serenity. These feelings that he has now were once twisted with anger, agony, and rage.Before all these dark emotions that had consumed Yoongi, his heart was once filled with love.
For a moment, Yoongi looks back at all that he went through to get to a place where he can finally have peace within himself. All those painful memories start to come to him very vividly. His heart is not prepared to go back in time and relive his painful story.
Spring was nourishing through mother earth. The trees were filled lots and lots of leaves, its branches swooshing back and forth with so much life. Just like Yoongi’s, the tree did not know about their pending future.
“Does your father know about us?” Aspen keeps having the same conversation over and over again with him. He is tired of keeping their relationship a secret.
“No. Why is it so important that he knows?” He looks over at Taehyung with shock. He can’t believe that he would ask him a question like that. Of course it’s important that their family is okay with their relationship.
“Because we can’t pretend to be a thing when I can’t claim you as mine. I’m tired of keeping this a secret.”
“Give me more time and I’ll make sure I do tell him.” Taehyung looks over to him with pleading eyes. Yoongi shakes his head not believing him but he still agrees to give him another chance. A part of him still wants to grasp in that reality that Taehyung will tell his father about them.
Time passed and the leaves were slightly turning a different shade of color. Yoongi’s patience was wearing thin; he was fed up with waiting for Taehyung to do the right thing. Their rocky situation could have only gotten worse because Taehyung was afraid. He sat opposite of him in the bathroom, his nervous hands fiddling with anything he could find. Unlike Yoongi, Taehyung was not brave. He feared his father more than anything. He wasn’t cool and composed like him. The thought of seeing his father angry was the churning point in his stomach.
“I can’t…” Taehyung tries to compose himself, to act like the man his father wants him to be. ”I can’t continue this like I don’t give a damn what my father says.” His lips tremble, his body mobilized, enabling his eyes to look up and see his lover suffer.
“Why? What does your father think of us? Is it so bad that we can’t be together?”
“You don’t understand, Yoongi. My father hates same sex genders dating each other. He says men were born to be with women, not the other way around. So I can’t tell him, you have to understand. He’ll hate me and want nothing to do with me.” Taehyung’s voice shakes with fear of losing Yoongi too.
Yoongi can’t believe what he just heard. All that bullshit that he heard come out of Taehyung’s mouth. His father is such a shit head that he would believe a lie so stupid that only ignorant people would go along with.
“So that’s it? You are leaving me because of your father? What happened to our love, is not real enough to be fought for? ” Yoongi’s voice finally cracks, its sound sadder then his eyes that tries to hide his emotion.
“You know that’s not true. Our love is real.”
“Then why are you giving up on us? Why do you let your father decide our fate? Fight for us, fight for our love.” By now Yoongi is kneeled down to Taehyung’s position, his hands on his, protesting and begging for another chance.
“I can’t. Without my father, I have nothing. My mother is dead; he’s my only connection to her.” Yoongi drops his hands, turns around, his eyes glazing with anger, opens the door and looks at him one more time.” Then you’re a coward. Your mother is in your heart, if only you would pay enough attention to hear it. You’re not afraid to lose your mother, you’re afraid of something much bigger than that. But ending our relationship won’t change that unless you do.”
The blaring months moved along with the beat of his heart. Summer turn into autumn. The leaves turned into hot, blazing orange. Taehyung’s absence was agonizing. All that energy that he absorbed while being away from his free-spirited boyfriend had dissipated with the tears that he would shed in the shower. The shower washed over his sorrows like the rain would wash over the birds in the prairie. The hot water was a sort of remedy to ease the pain though he did not feel the comfort of it.
Anger boiled inside of him. Hatred towards his ex consumed more with the mere thought of his name. He couldn’t understand his decision. Yoongi had given up everything for him, even his relationship with his mother. He thought their love was superior to anything, and that just like he had given up his relationship with his mother, so had Taehyung with his father. He realized that he was wrong. Their love wasn’t strong, it could be easily ripped to pieces with just one word: fear.
Soon the leaves on the tree started to turn brown. Piano-his first love- was there to accompany him through his loneliness. His head was controlled by his mind, telling it that his feelings had to go. He couldn’t find comfort with anything that he thought was pleasing. Not even alcohol did the trick. He would just sit for hours and stare at the tree. His mind would fill with thoughts that run faster than any race car in the world could. How can the tree have so much life? The green leaves have an euphoria that I wished I had, Yoongi thought. Staring at the tree made him jealous. He wished he was that free from his mind. To let his thoughts waver back and forth just like the leaves did.
Then he remembered that the trees were no longer green as he imagined. All this time, as his feelings had changed, so had the colors of the leaves. Now the tree was on the verge of losing all its leaves. All those emotions that went along with the colors needed to go. This sparked something inside of his heart. He no longer felt not anger, no loneliness. He felt like it was a new beginning.
Now as he stares back at the dead tree, with only a few leaves hanging on, snow covering its branches, Yoongi, eagerly smiles, hoping he doesn’t miss the bus for his new job interview.
With one last look at the tree, he drags his beanie down to his ears so it doesn’t fall off, and closes the door of his bedroom. On his walk there, he thinks back on how bad those leaves were trying to desperately hold on. That was his feelings for Taehyung. In the beginning, love is filled with a tree full of leaves, and when there is a breakup, the tree turns into a shade of different colors; orange for the rage of how their relationship ended; yellow for the times he felt no pleasure; and brown for the depressing thoughts that lingered and clogged his emotions into one single emotion.
He stops to look at a replica of the same tree that he stares at every morning. A few leaves were hovering, waiting to finally let go and enjoy their freedom into crippling thin air until they hit the floor and turn into rebirth.
His eyes adjust into view, focusing on a familiar face. His breathing stops for a second; he quickly recovers, his lips forming into a faint smile,” Hello, Kassian.”
“It’s nice to meet you again, Yoongi.”
“How is life treating you?”
“I finally told my father. He threw me out but he asked me to come back just yesterday. And you, how are you, Yoongi?” Taehyung is eager to hear what his ex’s response is. Ever since he broke up with him, he has felt exactly what Yoongi said, a coward. He wants to know that they’re break up didn’t brake him, that he has a chance at a new beginning.
It wasn’t fate, that’s what they both tell themselves. Both their contemplating has the same resolution: a new begin. Yoongi, finally felt the peace that he so badly wanted, just by looking at Taehyung. Their brake up was a new rebirth, a new beginning.
“I am at peace. Just like the tree lost all of those leaves that were filled with bad, past emotions, it is the time for a new season, a new rebirth. The tree is bare, with a whole a new perception of the world, waiting for new leaves, new beginnings. Now the dead leaves are crumbled to dirt, the emotions buried so that new leaves can become a whole new tree.”
Taehyung and Yoongi part their ways, their hearts feeling so much at ease, both knowing that they are at a place where they can finally have a new beginning. Their love did not last, and though they lost themselves, brought bad emotions, they still found a new rebirth. A tree needs to shed their own leaves, for a new season will not be born without destruction.
~~~
So guys this another update. This one shot is actually a short short story that I did for my Creative writing class. I’ve been working on it for a while now. I had to change their names into Aspen and Kassian but I changed them back for this one shot. If you guys find one of the other names, I’m sorry, I must of missed it.
This one shot is different because it has a climax, and all the elements that a short story needs and that is not a fluffy one shot like the others. Tell me your opinions guys. I hope you guys like it. And my sister did the pic edit of Taegi.
-Laterz Kelsi.
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