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I’m Not That Cruel
Part Seven:
The feeling of warmth overpowering his body, a strange feeling of giddiness surfacing throughout his body, and the smile that kept creeping into Kihyun’s face every now and then were completely understatements. The minute that he opened the door, when he heard a couple of knocks repeatedly being made, and Hyungwon had open his immediately put a smile on Kihyun’s face.
Since he had chosen to forget about that hidden door, a place he so badly wanted to discover, he instead tried everything he could to distract himself before his friends came over.
There was only so much he could do.
Kihyun thought of many things he could do to distract himself. He had never cooked before so that was out of the question. Besides, there wasn’t any solid ingredients that would be good for a dish. He was tired of flipping through channels and since he rarely goes on his phone, there wasn’t any content that could keep him occupy for any much longer than five minutes.
With the thought of what was behind the door, Kihyun went outside and took a nice brief walk, enjoying the brisk of the wind, and took notice of every house, absorbing the neighborhood ahead.
The cars this time gave him a distraction, the sound to remind him of the constant time that kept everyone in motion. There was safety as he went further along in his walk. Although the road screamed danger,-any type of vehicle screamed danger- the sidewalks gave him comfort; the concrete was his bubblewrap protection. From the sidewalk nothing could hurt him.
The walk gave Kihyun time to think. There was constant, spiraling questions that would not go away; there was no answer to them, anyways. Kihyun kept asking himself why he wanted to know what was behind the closed door. Anyone kept secrets from others, it was a normal thing. Whether that secret was good for others or it was to keep the person from being exposed was besides the point.
Secrets, however meant that there was pain and isolation. No one would keep secrets unless it was for the protection of themselves or for the fear of being judge. Either way is isolation at its finest.
And although it wasn’t any of his business, Kihyun had this pulse of truth that he wanted to know about Shownu. No one is cruel for nothing, and even if the most horrible thing happened to the person that doesn’t mean that they could hurts others simply because they got hurt. Still, the impulse of wanting to know would not leave his mind. Even if what he found would give him an ounce of understanding on Shownu’s behavior that was still better nothing.
Knowing is better than not knowing.
As soon as he hit a turn, Kihyun, still lost in thought, turn on his heel and walked back to the house, the keys safely between his fingers. Somehow he felt like Shownu would be there once he got back home, which is crazy considering that Shownu said he would be home really late.
And in truth, Shownu wasn’t there. That thought was so silly. If Shownu was in deed home, he would of immediately call him on his cellphone to yell at him for walking so close to cars. Lately Shownu had been overprotective on him. Messaging a few times an hour to make sure he was safe, that their kids were safe.
Kihyun doesn’t think anything of it. He’s not really bothered by this. He likes that Shownu is worry about him and his kids because he is too. Every second is thought about his kids and the possibility that one of them can turn out not so fine or that during surgery, he might not turn out all right. He tries not to think about all of these because it just makes him even more scared, and he still has more months to go.
Now Kihyun and his two best friends, Hyungwon and Minhyuk were sprawled all over his bed, catching up with each other. Hyungwon is lying down on his pillow, his legs prompted on the wall, Kihyun next to him, sitting, his legs crossed over each other, and Minhyuk sitting on the edge of the bed as he played with Shownu’s cologne that he left in the morning before he left to a meeting.
“I gotta admit this isn’t too bad of an environment for the triplets to live,” Minhyuk admitted, pouting his lips and nodding his head in agreement. Finally he didn’t say anything about Shownu, Kihyun thinks.
“Well, duh. Mr. Son wouldn’t send him to a dangerous neighborhood. He’s so overprotective. Who knew,” Hyungwon says, chuckling and fixing his shirt that repeatedly went up to his chest.
“How do you know he’s overprotective?” Kihyun asks, curious. He thought he was the only one who noticed.
“Umm, you do realize that the entire office knows Shownu likes you right? It’s so weird how he’s less frightening. Plus, he’s always bringing you juice and checking up on you every thirty minutes,” Hyungwon says, an edge of excitement in his voice, a smirk evident on his face.
Minhyuk makes a face of disgust and then gets up from the bed to look around his closet.” I still can’t get used to you living with Shownu. You’re not even afraid of him anymore. Seeing him act nice around you is the weirdest shit to ever witness.”
“He’s not acting nice. He is nice. Shownu is not putting up a show. But I do think he’s hiding something,” Kihyun tells them softly and with sadness. There was no right way to tell them. It was now or never. Having this knowledge on Shownu made him really nervous. He needs to get it out of his system.
“So a secret?” Minhyuk raises his eyebrows, coming out of the closet with a sweater in his hand.
“Yeah. Lately, Shownu has been sleeping with me in this bed,” he tells them, getting up from the bed and walking to his seat – it made him more comfortable than the bed- “when he thinks I’m asleep he sneaks back to his room. I almost went to his room, but I decided against it.”
“Wait, you didn’t have sex with Shownu in this bed right?” Hyungwon interrupts, turning his head around.
“Shut up Hyungwon! Why didn’t you?” Minhyuk asks, turning his attention to Kihyun and puts the sweater back, and sitting on the edge of the bed again.
“I don’t know. I was scared as well because I thought it wasn’t any of my business, but I want to know so bad. Maybe this will explain why he’s cruel to people.”
“People don’t need a background to be cruel to people, Kihyun. Don’t give him a justification for it,” Minhyuk angrily tells him, slouching his body.
“I’m not. That doesn’t mean he didn’t have a bad childhood or that something bad happen to him. And I want to know because I am living with him and he is the father of my children.”
“Fair enough. Just don’t get caught. If he won’t tell you, then it’s up to you to figure it out what is he exactly hiding,” Minhyuk says, patting his leg and pulling himself further into the bed.
“Do you really hate him that bad, Minhyuk? He did raise our salary. He’s not that bad of a listener. I approve of him,” Hyungwon says, making an ‘okay sign’ with his fingers.
“I don’t hate him. I just don’t like him. And it’ll take forever for me to approve of him. He needs to prove with his actions that he’s not gonna hurt Kihyun again, or else he’s pretending to have changed.”
Kihyun doesn’t think Shownu is pretending to have changed. He has really changed and it shows it when he is no longer the same boss he was. Shownu is more comfortable and Kihyun can tell he is more at ease, and has let go of his composed self.
And no he’s telling himself things to make Shownu a better person. He has been there through the changes of Shownu. Shownu is not the same as before he really wants Minhyuk to see that.
“He’s not gonna hurt me anymore, Minhyuk. I won’t let him. But this is my chance to blossom with him. My kids need a father. I need a partner to help me with his, and to be honest, I’m in love with him now,” Kihyun confesses, holding Minhyuk’s hands and reaching up for Hyungwon’s as well. “I need you to support me in this. I can’t do it without you guys. You guys are my family.”
“Of course I support you, there is nothing that would stop me from loving you,” Minhyuk sweetly tells Kihyun, engulfing him with a hug.
Kihyun smiles, feeling the warmth that Minhyuk is sending him. It’s so hard to please Minhyuk and he always looks beyond the reasonable, so Kihyun is glad that his best friend can let go of the notion that Shownu is just pretending and instead focus on what is important, that he is happy with Shownu.
“So how is it to live with your boss?” They remove each other from each other’s arms and back away a little so that they can look at each other good. Minhyuk smiles, raising his eyebrows in amusement.
Before Kihyun can respond, Hyungwon shrieks, jumping off the bed. “Hold on. For this kind of conversation, we need snacks. We need all the details, minus the sex part cause I don’t want hear it while I’m sitting on the bed where all the action happened.” Hyungwon opens the door and jogs to the kitchen while Kihyun returns his attention to his other best friend.
“Did you actually have sex in this bed?” Minhyuk asks, wrinkling his nose, awaiting Kihyun’s confession which he in fact did. “Yeah,” Kihyun nods, covering his face.” It was so good.”
“Okay, okay. Spare me the details. I don’t want to hear it.” Minhyuk covers his ears, and shakes his head while closing his eyes.
“I won’t.” He raises his hands to signify that he won’t. It would be weird to tell him about his and Shownu’s sexual life. The thought makes him shudder.
~~~
Every time Shownu came back, it only brought back memories that he didn’t want to remember. Although it happened years ago, it was still fresh on his mind. That kind of thing he could never forget about.
That place that he should be calling home, it’s not a home to him. A home does not include guilt and resentment.
The elevator was still in its third floor, and he still had a couple to go. Shownu doesn’t know why he always goes back when it only ends in anger and disappointment. His mother was gone. His sister was gone. There shouldn’t be a reason to go back. Yet he still does. Because even if he seems cruel, he is totally not. His father still has a place in his heart and seeing him sick brings him to spend the last days of his life before he departs this world.
The doctor had told him that his father was dying and that he had a couple of months to live. Such news was good and bad. He was happy and lonely at the same time. His father’s death meant that he’s last family that he had would be gone. That the only thing that he had that was connected to his sister and mother was soon to be banished from the mortal life.
Then as he stepped into the elevator his heart swelled at the thought of his triplets. He had a new family now. His triplets and Kihyun were his family. As long as he didn’t fuck it up, then he had a chance to a full, new life of raising a family where he would be a proud father and he would love his children equally.
His children will have his equal love. No matter what they did.
~
“Your father is in his bed and would like to meet you now,” the nurse, Mrs. Oh explains to him, opening the door of the room and allowing him to step in first, following him after.
Shownu kept his posture firmed as he walked to his father’s bed. He gulped and stood in between the nurse and one of his body guards.
“Your son is here. We will leave you two alone.” She bows down and with the move if her fingers she signals the body guards to follow after her.
“Hello, father.” He bows down and takes the chair from the bed stand and drags it to where is it, and then sits down, unbuttoning his business suit.
The old man coughed into his silky handkerchief. Then the old man reached for his glass of water in which he drank in a huge gulp, leaving the glass half empty.
“Shownu, I’m glad you can make it. I want to talk about the company and how it’s going,” his father says cutting to business, ignoring the conversation of a father to son.
“All good. There’s nothing to worry about. You left me in good hands. Changhyuk just got promoted to Marketing Manager and he’s handling this job just fine. Do you need a copy of all our finances because I can bring it next time,” Shownu says, rubbing his hand with the pad of his index finger. Being next to his father made him nervous. Saying the wrong thing can spiral into one of his hate speeches.
Or not even doing anything can bring any of his father’s hate speeches.
“That’s fine. What I want to talk about is your relationship with one of our employees.”
“What about my relationship with Kihyun?” At the mention of his relationship his body tenses. He can feel his muscles contract, his fists forming from the sides of the chair. He grits his teeth,” What about it?”
“Do I need to remind you that this behavior is unacceptable? How can you get this inhumane to carry your children? When I heard that you were having this fling, I let it go. I knew it wouldn’t last, but to let this bastard have your children is unacceptable. I will not let my legacy be brought my abominations! You need to get rid of them before it’s too late.”
“Get rid of them? Like you did with my mother and sister. I would never. These children are my world now. I’m starting a family that I never hard.” He couldn’t believe this.
After all that he did, he still wanted him to suffer. Spending years without his mom and sister was not enough for him to endure. Now he wanted to get rid of his triplets? That would never happen. He wasn’t cruel.
“I may remind you that you killed your mother and your sister! Don’t bring your guilt into me boy. If you’re not strong enough I don’t need you to be here.” The old man coughs, the spite of his voice was still evident even if he was slowly dying.
“I didn’t kill them. What kind of a father let’s his thirteen year old son drive while he’s too drunk he’s not even able to function!” Shownu cries, dropping himself from the chair and pressing his face to the mattress.
“Man up! At thirteen you should of been able to drive with no accidents at all. I don’t know where I went wrong with you. If you wouldn’t be so stupid your sister would been alive and your mother as well. Now don’t come blaming me for trying to make you someone in this world.”
“How is this making me someone in this world? I am nothing. I have nothing. You gave me nothing. You took them from me and instead of giving me love, you made sure to engrave it to my head that my love died with them.
Now my sons are my love. Because of them I am learning to know what is Love. Kihyun is showing me what is to have a family. I made his life living hell, but now I’m going to devote my entire life to make sure his life is heaven.”
~
His father hadn’t stopped him or said anything after what he told him. He only commanded one of his body guards to escort him out the room.
After that, Shownu vowed that he would not turn out like his father. All his life he lived with hatred and never understood the pain of his others. He always felt like people had out to feel the pain, but now he understood that that was so wrong for him to do that. Nothing justifies his actions. Nothing.
He would be better than his father. For his triplets and for Kihyun. He would do anything to protect them from his own life even if it meant to never tell them about his old life. From now he has no past. His life belongs to the present, and as much as that hurts him, to no longer have his mother and sister, he needs to accept that living in the past doesn’t do him any good.
The elevator had stopped and the door slide open. He steps out of the elevator and slowly walks to the apartment that he had not walked into a long time ago.
“Hey, What are you doing here?”
~~~
A/N:
So here’s another part. greenappleisme I hope you like it. I’m changing a lot from what you initially wrote so I hope you don’t mind. I have a lot planned and i honestly don’t know how many parts I’m doing 😂
To others that have requested their ships I am planning them and listing them in order so that I can write them as fast as I can.
🙆🏻♀️❤️ love you guys. Tell me your thoughts. I’ll love to hear them.
-Laterz Kelsi.
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