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Breathing heavily through his nose, Sammy angrily looked out his window, not believing that Evan was actually leaving. He was actually leaving, after they kissed! Opening his door he almost ran into Xander, who was sitting out in the hallway. When he looked up he instantly stood up while asking, “Sammy! Are you oka-”
“Not now,” Sammy said while running down the stairs and outside. He saw Evan walking towards his car, running his hands through his hair. “So that’s it?” He yelled, making Evan stop and slowly turn around. “We kiss, you kissed a guy, and you walk away!?”
He was breathing so hard Sammy was afraid he was going to pass out. He simply could not understand how Evan could just walk away from him. “How could you?” He yelled while rain started to fall from the dark skies above. “Do you not even care at all?”
“Maybe I do!” Evan yelled back, while throwing his hands up into the air. “Maybe that’s the problem Sammy!”
“Why? Why Evan?”
“Because you’re a guy!” Evan yelled, turning around and putting his hands onto his hips. “Look I’ve never had feelings towards a guy before, I’ve always had feelings for girls,” he whispered while slowly turning back around as the rain started to fall harder. “So when everything started happening with you, it scared me shitless. I felt like I couldn’t risk messing something up with you.”
“So you’re okay with coming over to my house in the middle of the night, to tell me how much you don’t want to be with me?”
Covering his eyes Sammy tried to stop the tears from coming out of his eyes, as his clothes were sticking to his body from the rain. “How is that right?” Slowly opening his eyes he watched Evan sigh while turning to the side.
“It’s not right, I’m not right for you Sammy,” he said while walking forward and putting his hands on either side of his face. “I’m not, you don’t deserve me.”
“And how do you know?” Sammy whispered. “You don’t even know. And do you know why? Because you’ll never try. You’ll never try to do something that scares you. You come over to my room in the middle of the night to-”
His rant was cut off when Evan leaned forward and pressed his lips against his. His heart fluttered up into his throat as his eyes closed, while putting his hands on Evan’s chest. A soft moan escaped from his mouth while wrapping his arms around Evan’s neck, as the taller boy wrapped his arms around his waist.
When he pulled back to breathe a gasp escaped from his lips when Evan’s lips ended up onto his neck. Digging his fingers into that strong back, his eyes fluttered closed while he gently rested his head against Evan’s shoulder. Looking up he took a shaky breath before pulling Evan back down to him, kissing those lips as rain was falling down harder around them.
As they slowly pulled away from each other, Sammy tried to catch his breath as Evan suddenly picked him up. With his back leaning against Evan’s car, his eyes fluttered close once again when a pair of soft lips were making their way onto his neck. Tightening his legs around Evan’s waist he buried his fingers into that thick hair before Evan slowly pulled back. “You’re scaring me Sammy,” Evan whispered into his neck. “These feelings I have won’t go away.”
Putting his finger on Evan’s chin he slowly turned him towards his face while whispering, “Then how about acting on those feelings? If you feel something between us, wouldn’t you want to act on that?”
Sighing, Evan looked off to his right while a bolt of lightning lit up the sky. “It’s not that easy Sammy. Maci is pregnant, I can’t just leave her.”
Frowning, Sammy quickly got out of Evan’s arms while he started walking back to his house. “I’m an idiot.”
“No Sammy…”
“Yes I am!” Sammy yelled while turning around, right as thunder boomed all around them. “Why do I keep allowing myself to get hurt by you? Why am I even out here with you when there’s someone who actually wants to be with me inside? Why did you have to knock someone up?”
“What’s going on out here?”
Turning around Sammy watched his father storm out of the house, Xander right behind him. “Dad, please don’t get involved.”
“What’s going on, did he hurt you?” His father asked while standing in between them.
“No Dad.”
“What’s the meaning of this then? I wake up to hear shouting coming from outside. When I look out my window I see my son visibly upset. So, anyone care to explain?”
Looking at the ground Sammy took a deep breath before saying, “Evan got his girlfriend pregnant, he might have feelings for me but he won’t admit it to himself because I’m a guy. I told you Dad, it’s nothing.”
“That’s nothing?” His father all but yelled while standing right in front of Evan. “I don’t want to see you around here anymore. You got that? No one makes my son a second choice. I never want to see your scumbag face around here again.”
“Oh sure you don’t want to see me, yet you’re perfectly okay with another guy in your son’s room at 3 in the morning?” Evan yelled while turning towards Xander.
Sammy watched as his father rubbed his hands over his face while sighing. “Get off my property Evan, Xander you leave too. The only boys I want in my house are my twins. Everyone else out. Now.”
He watched as Evan got in his car before angrily slamming his car door. Xander then walked towards his car, taking a moment to smile down at him. After they were both driving off Sammy turned towards his father, who still looked upset. “Sammy, let’s lay off of the boys for a while okay? Just be alone for a while.”
“I’ve been alone my whole life Dad. My whole life! And the one time I fall so hard for someone it has to backfire on me. Are you happy? I don’t get into MIT, I don’t get the guy, I’m gay. Happy?”
“Sammy, where is all this coming from?”
“Nothing,” he said while running inside, up the stairs and towards his room.
As he was entering his room he heard a throat clearing from behind him. Turning around he saw Sasha leaning against the wall, an eyebrow raised. “Trouble in paradise?”
“I don’t have time for you,” he muttered while he started walking into his room.
“Sammy, wait.” Turning around he saw Sasha standing in front of his door, glancing over his shoulder when the front door opened. “Let me in, and you won’t have to talk to Dad.”
Biting his bottom lip, Sammy thought for a second before nodding and locking the door behind his brother. Grabbing a towel off his floor he started wiping down his body. “What do you want Sasha, to make fun of me? To make fun of the fact that I’m gay, I have male problems. What, are you going to call me a woman?”
“No. None of that actually.”
Raising an eyebrow he looked up into those identical eyes while asking, “Why, are you sick?”
“Look can we talk?”
“No.”
“Look, I know I’m not the best brother.”
“Huh wonder where you got that from,” Sammy muttered while changing into dry clothes.
“I know I’ve been a little shit to you. I just, when I heard the yelling I looked out to see you looking really upset. I didn’t like seeing that look on your face, usually I don’t care. For some reason I couldn’t get that look out of my mind, that same look you had looking down at Mom’s grave.”
Freezing, Sammy wouldn’t meet his brother’s eyes while thinking about his mother. “Speaking of her, and since it’s technically the next day because it’s 4:30, it’s the anniversary.”
Feeling his eyes fill with tears he sat down onto his bed, as Sasha looked away. “We’ve been without her for a long time now, and I know I’ve been horrible to you ever since she passed.”
“Why have you? There had to have been a reason, what did I do?”
“I was jealous.”
“Of what?”
“Of how close you and Mom were.”
He watched as Sasha sat down in front of him on the floor, just now noticing that there were deep circles under his eyes. “You were close with her too, we’re twins after all.”
“I know, but she always liked you more. I was jealous, too much. When she passed away I felt empty inside, so I blamed you. I needed something to take my anger out on, since she was taken away from us too early. I blamed you because you two were always together, which meant I didn’t have that much time with her. I felt like I was robbed, Dad was hardly home so it was just the three of us,” he said while looking down at his dark pajama pants. “Sometimes I felt like she didn’t love me as much as she did you, and that she didn’t want to spend as much time with me. I know I should have been nicer to you, and I’m sorry. You know I turned into a douche once she left us, I just couldn’t help it. I felt like I was really all alone, who was going to hang out with me?”
“What am I, chopped liver?”
“No Sammy,” Sasha said with a sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. “Look I’m not good at this, probably why I’m so bad at breaking up with girls. I just want you to know… I don’t hate you. Okay?”
Nodding, he smiled while looking down at his hands. “I don’t hate you either.”
“I’m surprised you don’t, I was horrible to you. So… sorry.”
They sat in silence for a while, both listening to the heavy downpour outside. “So uh what’s up with you and the football player?” Sasha asked while awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.
“You wouldn’t be interested.”
“Probably not. But I’m trying not to be a douche so spill it.”
Rolling his eyes, Sammy took a deep breath before telling Sasha everything that had happened between him and Evan. “I think Dad’s right on this one, stay away from guys for a while. Evan seems too confused, I’d let the guy breathe. I mean he just knocked some chick up, I’d be frazzled too.”
“Yeah, I know. I just wish he would’ve kept it in his pants.”
“Ha, sounds like something Dad said to my ex’s family.”
“You’re gross.”
He watched as Sasha stood up and gave him a lopsided smile.
“If you tell anyone I was nice to you I’ll knock your face in.”
Laughing, Sammy started snuggling under his blankets while saying, “Noted.” Before he was able to completely get comfortable he watched Sasha give him a serious look before saying,
“I want to take you somewhere in the morning. Don’t sleep in too late.”
With that he shut his door as thunder was booming outside hiswindow. Staring out the glass he realized that he hadn’t been afraid while hewas outside in the storm. Maybe if he was able to get over storms, he would beable to get over Evan.
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