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“HOLY SHIT I WON!” I jump out of the chair throwing my controller down “I WON! OH MY GOD!” Jumping up and down I don’t focus on the scream “YESSSSSS” I cheer hopping around my room
“What’s going on?” My mom opens my bedroom door confused by the screaming, “why all the yelling?”
“Mom” I rush to her grabbing her hand pulling her to my desktop “look! I’ve been playing this online tournament for the last 5 weeks and I actually won! Against like a bunch of people” I explain while showing her the screen
Reading the popup because I’m too distracted to do it, she says “well it says here you have to call that number since you’re the winner, have you called?”
“What no I was too busy winning!” I can’t believe I fucking won and the only person I can tell is my mom who doesn’t give 2 shits about video games.
“Well is there a prize” As I open my mouth about to answer I stop, I don’t know how they’ll react when they hear about the money. I shouldn’t tell them until I actually have the money, right?
HOLY SHIT I JUST WON 25 THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!
“Uh, I don’t know” I lie calming down, “I’ll call the number and find out.”
“Okay” she walks to the door “dinner’s almost ready so finish this then wash up.”
“Yeah yeah,” I wave her off grabbing my phone. Too jittery and barely able to focus I quickly dial the number.
After a ring, an automated message starts playing “congratulations!! If you are calling this number that means you are this year’s annual Gamerstein COD online tournament winner! To pick up your prize please show up to the Gamerstein headquarters with proof of identity and a smile for a picture for our website. For more info go to Gamerstein.com.” The message ends and I hang up.
Later on, after I’ve calmed down from the hype I sit at the table with my parents eating dinner, “mom can you drive me to Glendale tomorrow?”
“Sure why?”
“To get my picture taken for the tournament website”
“What are we talking about?” My dad asks confused
“Playing hours of video games is finally paying off for your son” my mom answers causing my dad to look at me, “he won some competition online.”
“Did you win a prize?” Yes
“I get my picture taken for the website as this year’s champion,”
“When should we go to Glendale?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
There’s no way I’m sleeping tonight I think as I climb into bed, I actually won a tournament I started playing as a joke… what the fuck? I seriously can’t stop smiling, something good is finally happening for me and I have no one to tell.
Picking up my phone as I lay on my back I open my texts with Damien, even though we haven’t spoken all week and he was only at school for 2 days I have to tell him, right? This is his win too he helped just as much. Deciding to text him I send a simple ‘Hey’ no one can ignore a simple hey, no matter who’s mad at who.
Well that thought didn’t age very well, it’s been almost 2 hours and not a single reply. I’m such a fucking clown for even trying, honestly why do I keep trying? What’s wrong with me? I can’t seem to quit on a guy who’d probably not give a shit whether I fell off the face of the earth or not. Yet here I am caring that he won’t even text me back, though I should expect this I was the one who went off on him and said he’d never take me seriously. Which is the honest truth, I was a joke to Damien since the beginning and I’ll always remain one no matter what I do.
Next day we sit in the car as my mom drives an hour away, 2 hours in the car with her will be the death of me. “You know when I was 16 we didn’t have video games and online tournaments.”
“You didn’t even have online so makes sense” I retort
“Ha-ha very funny,” she says sarcastically, “what happens after they take your picture?”
“I don’t know guess I’ll find out when I get there.” The car goes quiet as she drives and Damien pops up in my head, how am I supposed to give him his half if he won’t even talk to me?
Looking at my mom I want to say something so bad but I’m not even sure how to start, noticing how uneasy I get and how I keep taking quick glances at her my mom asks “what is it? I know you want to tell me something”
“No, it’s nothing” I quickly deny
“Ewan we’re going to be in here for the next 45 minutes so you might as well talk to me.”
Sighing I say “it’s kind of complicated”
“Everything is complicated honey trust me.”
“Okay… um” putting my confused thoughts into hopefully coherent words I start, “so remember the guy I was telling you about that night while you were in bed?”
“Yes of course” she nods
“Well I kind of lied about who it was” just say it Baz, “it is Damien Allen the boy dad mentioned.”
“I kind of figured that by the way you reacted” she smiles, “but I thought that was over since you started seeing that college boy.”
“Oh that ended very quickly, Nel was just a pawn to make Damien jealous”
“Ewan!” She barks my name disapprovingly
“I know but it didn’t even work and now Damien won’t talk to me, and I don’t really know what to do because I have feelings for him.” I look at her and she notices my frown
Frowning too she asks “are you in love with Damien honey?”
“Yes” I answer quietly avoiding her reaction, “but he doesn’t feel the same and I don’t know why I’m so hung up on him.”
“Can I make a suggestion?” I nod and she continues “What if you told him how you felt”
“What?” I scoff “no way”
“Well, why not Ewan? What do you have to lose?” Besides my dignity and Damien forever I’m not really sure, “I think you should do a big gesture and just divulge everything, then and only then you’ll know for sure how he truly feels and if it’s not mutual then you’ll have your answer.”
“What do I do if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“You can’t force anyone to like you, I know that for sure. If he doesn’t then maybe you move on, wait for the guy that’ll treat you how you actually deserve” I hate it when she makes sense.
Making it to Gamerstein headquarters I beg my mom to wait in the car while I take care of everything. They take my picture with the CEO of the company who hands me the check for 25 thousand dollars, and I swear from the moment I got the money I haven’t stopped smiling.
Finally leaving I meet my mom back in the car “how’d it go?” She asks as I’m getting in
“Great I got to meet Jeff Steinbeck the owner of Gamerstein”
“Wow that’s exciting” she starts the car and we leave. You bet your ass it’s exciting I have a 25 thousand dollar check burning a hole in my pocket, and the only other person who knows about it didn’t even bother to remember yesterday was the final round.
Making it home after the drive I head to my room shutting the door. Sitting on my bed I stare at the check with a grin, where do I even go from here with this? Do I run away from home and change my name? Do I tell my parents and save the money for something important? Honestly, I have no fucking clue what to even do with it, how does one spend 25 thousand dollars? Should I finally get my driver’s license and buy a car, no driving scares the shit out of me.
Maybe if I stare at the check long enough it’ll tell me what to do.
Taking out my phone I decide to call Damien he has to know, bringing the phone to my ear after pressing on his name the phone rings and rings with no answer. Wow he hates me that much?
This fucking guy has me and 12 thousand dollars and he wants neither, what the fuck? Thinking myself into a bad mood I get off the bed shoving the check in my pocket, “screw this” I say picking up my jacket and putting it on. Leaving my room I walk to the living room to find my mom watching tv “I’m going out for a little bit.”
“Ok be careful.”
Grabbing my bike I leave knowing exactly where I’m going. I know it’s not smart to just show up to his house but I can’t take this, an entire week of not talking to me I get, but I told him multiple times about the final round something that was so important to him and he’s just ignoring me… I don’t think so.
Riding my bike all the way to Damien’s house I get off when I find it, dropping my bike on his lawn I take a couple deep breaths before walking to the door. Just ring the doorbell Baz his car is right there so you know he’s home. Pushing the doorbell I stand and wait feeling the nerve sweats brewing
Hearing the door my eyes fixate until it swings open and he sees me. Looking down at him I examine the clothes, a tight t-shirt showing off his biceps and dark gray sweatpants. Damien stares at me confused, “what are you doing here?” He asks stepping out and shutting the door behind him “and how do you know where I live?”
“Got your address from my dad’s work computer,” I may have snuck a peek when I went to steal trig answers for Daryl.
“Ok and we’re back to my first question, what are you doing here?”
“The 5th round of the tournament was last night,”
“Oh fuck it was?” I nod “shit my bad Joey’s been sick so I’ve had to stay home with him the past couple days and I completely forgot.”
“It’s ok I took care of it”
“Good… and what happened?”
I smile as I watch him wait for an answer, “we won”
“WE DID?!” He shouts and I nod “Holy fucking shit!! We won” he gets excited “and what about the money how do we get that?”
“I already went and picked it up” I reach in my pocket pulling out the check, making a bold decision as I’m talking to him I hand Damien the check.
“Is this my half?” He asks taking it and I don’t answer, unfolding the check he reads it then looks at me “you haven’t cashed it yet?” I shake my head “this is the whole thing” he smiles confused
“I know” I gulp, “I’m giving it to you.”
“What? All of it?” I nod “why?” He asks in such a soft tone
“Um” I smile “because my mom said I need a grand gesture” Damien stares confused by what I mean. “I need to tell you something and you don’t have to say anything- actually I’d prefer it if you didn’t say anything and just let me get through this.” Folding his arms still holding the check Damien waits, don’t be afraid Baz just speak your truth. “When we started this and we both promised not to catch feelings I lied, I was lying while I was promising it. I knew myself I knew it would happen eventually, I just didn’t think it’d be this hard… I’m in love with you Damien.” His arms loosen after hearing what I said, “and I don’t mean like there are feelings or I like you, but I fell for you like a dickhead. I know you don’t feel the same way or even care about me and that’s fine, but I don’t think I can keep doing what we’ve been doing. I think while I was falling for you I realized that I might actually like myself a little bit, and I think that I might want more than what you’re willing to give”
“Baz stop-”
“No let me finish” I cut him off. “I’m giving you all the money because I don’t know what to do with it, this was more important to you than it was to me so keep it and do something with it.” Feeling like I’ve said my peace I turn to walk away about to grab my bike, still standing there and watching me I turn to Damien and say “I’m sorry I’m doing this to you again, I do hope you find a guy that’ll be worth it.”
Picking up my bike I leave Damien on his porch.
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