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Pic of Darren in case any of you were wondering what I think he’d look like… It’s Darren.
Yawning as I sat up I picked up my laptop and turned it on, planning a lazy day on Tumblr. Typing away I rubbed my eyes sleepily. An e-mail notification popped up in the bottom right corner of my screen addressed from Justin. My stomach tightened into knots (A/N Oh, my stomach’s tied in knots. I’m afraid of what I’ll find if you wanna talk tonight. Ooh ooh. See the problem isn’t you, it’s me, I know. I can tell, I’ve seen it time after time. And I’ll push you away (mmm)
I get so afraid, oh, no… Ok. I’m done quoting sleeping with sirens now…) as I clicked read and the words Dear Darren popped up on the screen.
—
I opened Zayn’s bedroom door as the tears streamed down my face. Zayn looked up and frowned but didn’t say a word, he just patted the spot of his bed beside him and opened his arms to me. I took off my shoes and crawled under the covers; burning my face into his chest sobbing broken, shaky and not to mention horrendously loud sobs.
“I hate everything.” I mumbled as he rubbed my back and kissed the top of my head lightly.
“I know…” He whispered in response and held me closer. I snuggled into his chest and sighed as my sobs became slightly softer, breathing in his scent I felt myself begin to relax and feel better. Looking up at him he smirked down at me and I felt his fingers playing with mine as we lay in silence with my head lifting with his chest as he breathed.
We just lay there in silence as he soothed my hurt and warmed my heart. My heart swelled so much I thought it might explode when I heard the faint noise of him singing “I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You.” By Elvis.
“Wise men say only fools rush in but I can’t help falling in love with you.
Shall I stay would it be a sin?
If I can’t help falling in love with you
Like a river flows surely to the sea.
Darling so it goes some things are meant to be take my hand, take my whole life too
for I can’t help falling in love with you
Like a river flows surely to the sea.
Darling so it goes some things are meant to be take my hand, take my whole life too
for I can’t help falling in love with you,
for I can’t help falling in love with you.” He mumbled and cleared his throat, looking down at me and connecting his lips with mine softly and smiling at me.
I smiled back sadly and he sat up and set me in his lap so I was facing him and he set his hands on either side of my face. “Darren. I don’t know why your so sad. But let me tell you something. You’re amazing. Ok? Absolutely amazing, and don’t let anyone make you think you aren’t because I’ll punch ’em right in the fucking face if they do.” He smirked and pushed some hair out of my eyes and pulled me closer, kissing me and nibbling softly on my bottom lip.
I sighed contently and leant against him as we just stared into each other’s eyes, not making a move or saying a word silence fell over us as we just observed one another. There was no need for words. You know what they say, if looks were words.
—
The next few hours were full of us just cuddling, watching movies and making out. It was a perfect evening, and not once did he push me to tell him what was wrong, he just comforted me and told me what I needed to hear.
—
I dodged Zayn’s flailing arms and ran to the open window, dangling his shirt out teasingly. He ran over and reached for it only for me to hold it further away.
“Give me my shirt back!” He protested and stamped his feet like a child. Smirking I leaned in close and kissed the base of his neck which I found out during our make out session is his weak spot. He tensed up and I heard him grumble a curse under his breath as I kissed it repeatedly.
“Oh but you look sooo much better with it off…” I whispered against his neck and he held his breath, relaxing against me and letting out a defeated sigh. I smiled in victory and pecked his cheek before handing him his shirt back.
“I should go. I have homework to finish.” I said and pecked his lips, picking up my shirt and tugging it over my head and fixing my hair. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist; lazily kissing my neck and cheek.
“Ok babe, don’t you dare forget about our ‘study date’ on Friday.” He mumbled with a wink causing a blush to spread up my neck and across my cheeks earning a chuckle from Zayn.
Turning around I kissed him again and nodded. “I won’t. See you then babe.” He nodded and pulled me closer for a long, lingering, sweet and passionate kiss that was just perfect and didn’t suggest doing anything further than just kissing.
Pulling away and smiling I made sure I had everything before standing on my tiptoes and kissing his cheek then running out the door and down the street towards my house.
—
Upon arriving my house I trudged upstairs and threw my phone on the bed and lay down with my phone beside my hand the urge to call Justin nagging me in the back of my mind.
Picking up my phone I scrolled through my contacts until I found Justin’s name and I sat, staring at my screen until I sighed and turned my phone back off, throwing it to the side. God I miss him…
—
Friday rolled around and Zayn and I were sitting at my kitchen breakfast bar doing homework in silence, our hands linked across the marble surface as I studied for my chemistry exam tomorrow. His thumb skimmed across the skin of my hand as I got up and grabbed a soda from the fridge, topping up both our glasses and leaning down to softly kiss his neck and run my hands across his chest.
He moaned and I smiled, pulling away and sitting back down as I picked up my pen and circled an important sentence because you know, I’m shit at chemistry and I need all the reminders I can get.
We studied for a few hours until my mom got home and invited Zayn to stay for dinner. “Oh I’d love to Mrs Jones, but my parents and I are going out for dinner tonight to celebrate my dad’s promotion. But thanks for the offer Mrs Jones.” He replied politely as he tidied away his books and leant down to kiss me softly then threw his back over his shoulder.
“See you tomorrow babe!” I called to him as he trudged down my hall, hearing the sound of him saying a quick ‘bye, love you!’ Then the door being shut behind him. My mom giggled from here place at the refrigerator and I looked over at her in suspicion, narrowing my eyes at her.
“Is there something I missed, mother?” I said and she went quiet, looking over at me and shaking her head, her voice squeaky and on the verge of laughter when she spoke.
“No.” She stopped and cleared her throat, trying to look responsible. “I mean ugh. No. No not at all. What do you want for dinner dear? I bought chicken, I was thinking fajitas or something. I like fajitas, don’t you? Of course you do everyone like fajitas.” She rambled on about fajitas until I held my hand up and interrupted her.
“What is it? Just tell me.” I snapped and she sighed, slumping her shoulders then began clapping like a giddy teenage girl and spoke in a sing song voice.
“I totally ship it!” She exclaimed and I rolled my eyes with a smile, scooping my books into my arms and taking one last swig of my soda I juggled all my stuff up into my room and threw them on my bed to continue my studying in peace away from my mother who acts almost as giddy as Sindy when I talk about Zayn and I’s relationship around her.
As I continued to study my phone light up with the very name I didn’t want to see right now. Don’t answer it, he isn’t worth it. You have hurt enough over him. I fought the urge to pick up the phone. But sadly my logical side lost and I picked up the phone holding it to my ear but stayed silent.
I heard the voice I hadn’t heard in a while flooding down my phone line and into my ear.
“Hello Darren.” I gulped and ran a hand through my messy hair, sitting up in my bed and replying at last.
“Hello Justin. What do you want?” I snapped and I heard him sigh from his end of the line.
“Well at least I know my e-mail made it safely to you.” He said with a chuckle and I clenched my fist, bundling up a handful of my duvet in anger. He broke my heart and he the audacity to laugh about it?!
“Yeah it did, and just like us, this conversation is over.” And with that I hung up, throwing my phone across the room in rage, ignoring the sound of it colliding with my floor. It should be ok… Hopefully…
Groaning loudly I threw myself back onto my bed and grabbed at my hair with a sob. A knock against my door made me sit up and wipe my eyes as Max walked into the room.
“You wouldn’t happen to have any condoms I could borrow?” He said then looked up from his phone and frowned; shoving his phone in his pocket.
“What’s wrong?” He asked and I shook my head, opening my bedside drawer and moving the lube out of the way I grabbed a handful of condoms and threw them in his direction.
“Just take them and go.” I sighed and he picked up the condoms, shoved them in his pocket and left, shutting the door quietly behind him. Sighing I lay defeated on my bed. Why did this happen to me?! Sitting up I grabbed my box of blades from under my bed and shoved them in my pocket before climbing out my window and leaping over the fence.
Instead of using my skateboard I decided to walk, grabbing a stick and running it along the metal gates in front of the park. I walked in and walked past the park where children where playing, climbing up my tree I began to organise my blades as I watched the children having fun in the park and couples strolling holding hands together. I picked up the sharpest one.
~TRIGGER WARNING!~
I looked down at the blade that shone in the light and took off my promise ring, setting it on the tree branch next to me, pressing the blade to my skin and gripping it tightly I slit across my wrists sighing and setting the blade next to my promise ring I stared at the red blood that tinted my skin and covered my blade as my silver promise ring sat glinting in the sun like the blade had moments ago.
The salty tears slipped down my cheeks and on to my arms, as the blood flowed down my arms. I grabbed a tissue from my back pocket and wiped away the blood before bandaging them up and sitting back in the tree. Picking up the blade I wiped it clean and put it back in the box then I picked up the promise ring and hopped out of the tree and walked through the park and left my promise ring on top of a bench before leaving the park and walking home…
Oh hey! Long time no see! Anyways, here you go, enjoy! We love you all and we shall speak soon my kittens!
Meow!~
Paige from therandomkellicfan xxx
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