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A/N: 27.12 2020
The exclusive “Conan The Dandelion” chapters have began on Patreon. If you’d like to read them, you can find the link in my bio!
Oh, and who is your favorite character and why?
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When I returned home, Parker and I had dinner, and we studied. When we went to bed, I put my alarm super early. I woke up the next day and snuck to the kitchen, and began making breakfast as quietly as I could. I called Zev to ask him for his fluffy pancakes recipe.
I could tell that he was half asleep when he answered, and apologized for bothering him, but Zev sent me a picture and even stayed on the phone to follow and guide me along each step. An hour later, right as the sun was coming up, I heard Parker get out of bed. He came out and stopped in surprise.
“Good morning, Parker,” I smiled.
“What’s all this?”
“Breakfast.”
“What’s the occasion?” he asked skeptically.
“It’s a new day!”
Parker looked at me and laughed. Anyone else would have given me The Look, but he no longer did. Instead, he said, ‘Conan being Conan’, which was a phrase he’d often repeat. We sat down and ate.
I tried to talk more and told Parker about my friendship with Ryan, and how we were making lots of progress on the play, but he didn’t like it when I brought Ryan up, so I changed the subject.
After breakfast, we washed up and got ready for class. I brushed my teeth while Parker shaved, and he brushed his teeth while I combed my hair. When we finished getting ready, Parker went to the kitchen to prepare our lunch.
“You can finish packing your bag, I’ll do the dishes.”
I went to the sink, but instead of leaving, Parker followed me and leaned against the counter.
“Alright, what’s going on?” he said.
“Many things, each and every second,” I told him.
Parker turned off the sink, and the water stopped.
“I can’t wash the dishes if there’s no water,” I frowned.
“You can do the dishes after you look at me.”
So I turned towards him, looked him in the eyes, and then turned the sink back on. Parker shut it off again. I frowned.
“You’re acting strange,” he said. I didn’t know how to reply to that.
“I see,” I murmured. Parker sighed, taking a step closer towards me.
“You’re not gonna talk?”
I remained silent, and Parker sighed.
“Fine,” he grumbled, pushing himself off the counter. Panic rose in my chest as I felt him slipping away.
“You didn’t kiss me on the forehead yesterday,” I blurted when he was at the threshold.
My cheeks flared red. That sounded sillier aloud than it did in my head.
You’re such a child, Conan. You’re a spoiled brat who doesn’t deserve anything, let alone, Parker.
“You mean this?” Parker asked, walking towards me and kissing me on the forehead. His lips were warm, and he smelled of fresh pine and mint instead of tobacco and alcohol.
“Maybe,” I whispered. Parker laughed, and it was such a beautiful sound. I kept it pocketed deep in my mind for the dark days.
“I really appreciate everything you’ve done, dandelion. Breakfast, the dishes, the effort to talk. But you could have just asked me.”
“Oh.” The world seemed so much simpler.
“Yeah, oh.” He laughed, attacking my forehead with a million pecks of kisses.
“Better?” He asked with a knowing smile, a smug one, as if he could hear my heart thumping furiously against my thin chest. Parker knew how to date. He knew how to make someone blush, and most of all, he knew how to make someone who didn’t deserve love, feel loved.
“I think I changed my mind,” I whispered so quietly, I was afraid he wouldn’t hear me. But he did. Parker always did.
“Change your mind about what?”
“I wouldn’t like it if you did this with someone else,” I said, wondering if I was being too greedy.
“Do what with someone else?” He grinned, feigning innocence.
“Kiss them,” I murmured. Parker tipped up my chin so I’d meet his eyes. Freddie was right, they were the brightest pair of black.
The orange rays of the early sun almost seemed drawn to him, kissing his high cheekbones and brow. The line of his jaw and the features of his face were chiselled and sharp, but he looked at me so gently and lovingly, I felt like I was on cloud nine.
“Then ask me,” he ordered softly. “Ask me not to kiss anyone else.”
I squirmed in his arms.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?” he frowned.
“I don’t deserve it,” I murmured. “It’s okay if you kiss someone else, but please don’t tell me about it.”
“Dandelion,” he sighed. “I’m with you right now. Why would you think that I’d want to kiss someone else? And why it would be okay for me to cheat on you?”
“Because…” my voice trailed off. I couldn’t finish my sentence.
“The Dark Thoughts. I know, baby, I know,” he whispered, gently brushing my bangs away from my face.
“But do me a favor and tell the Dark Thoughts to fuck off. I know I’ve got into a handful of questionable situations, but I still have some dignity, even if Freddie would disagree.”
I laughed, and so did he. But then the look in Parker’s eyes changed, and he almost looked sad. He was quiet for a moment, our gazes still holding each other.
“What are you thinking of?” I asked.
“You,” he whispered, pressing his forehead against mine. His voice was deep and smooth, reminding me of rich chocolate. “I’m always thinking about you, Dandelion.”
I felt roses blossom against my cheeks.
“Did you know you’re always giving, but never ask for anything? You don’t make requests, you don’t demand, you take nothing for yourself. It’s okay to want, Conan, especially you who does nothing but good to the world. So ask me. Tell me. Order me not to kiss anyone.”
My heart thumped rapidly against my chest. I was scared it’d rip out. I took in a tight breath and mustered up my courage.
“Parker, would it be okay if you don’t kiss anyone else?” I asked. “Please?”
“I would be more than happy to make you the only person I kiss. Any other requests?”
I took a moment to think.
“Can you kiss me on the lips today?”
Parker looked at me in surprise. Before I could take back my words, he pulled me closer against him.
“That can definitely be arranged,” he grinned. “Have you ever kissed anyone?”
“No, but someone has kissed me.”
He frowned.
“Did you enjoy it?”
I shook my head.
“Well then, it doesn’t count.”
“It doesn’t?” I inquired.
“Nope,” he said. “Not according to my dictionary.”
“You have a dictionary? Can I read it one day?”
“The point is,” he pressed with an eye roll. “I’d like you to consider me as your first kiss.”
I always thought it was impossible to change established facts. As a biology major, Parker knew that too. The past was in the past, but that didn’t mean it didn’t happen. But perhaps reality didn’t always have to be the way we perceived it. Perhaps reality was what we made it, just as life.
Who said illusions couldn’t become truths? Not in a way in which we’d engulf ourselves in ignorance and believe in those lies, but in a way where we’d acknowledge them, yet chose the lies anyway. Why? Because we found happiness in illusions that reality didn’t offer.
We all needed a little fiction in life, or what boring lives we’d live!
So if Parker wanted to be my first kiss, and if I wanted him to be my first kiss – which I very much did – then we shall bend the rules of reality and create our own.
“I’d like that too,” I whispered.
Parker leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. It felt like an electric shock, and I jerked my head back with frightened eyes. Parker said nothing. He didn’t react. He didn’t scowl. He didn’t give me The Look. He simply waited for me to decide what would happen next. His hands were around my waist, but were loose enough so I could slip away if I wanted to.
I could feel the Dark Thoughts crawling into my mind. I could feel my past pulling me away from Parker. I could feel the memories that left me empty and sick. But then I shook my head.
We’ll create our own reality.
I pressed my weight on the tip of my toes and kissed Parker. I kissed him. I could feel a smile grow against my lips as our kiss deepened. His arms pulled me closer and his hands scaled up my back, sending tingles down my spine. He leaned away only an inch.
“Open your mouth, Conan,” he ordered gently.
His husky voice made me feel a way I had never felt before. My lips parted, and I felt his tongue slip into my mouth. My hands got lost in his hair and for the first time, I felt desire bubble inside of me. I desired him. I desired Parker, but the feeling went well passed wanting pleasure. It was much stronger. I loved him. I didn’t say it, but I did.
Parker’s hands slid towards my neck, and he gave it a gentle squeeze. I gasped, opening my mouth wider. He took the chance to deepen our kiss, his tongue gliding swirling around mine and.
His bulge pressed against me, and he kissed my cheek, and then my ear, and his low, raspy breaths that tickled my skin made my knees buckle.
“Sorry,” he rasped, lowering his hand but keeping them around my waist. “Was that too much?”
“No, it’s okay,” I whispered, my mind feeling fuzzy. Part of me wanted us to venture further, another part of me wanted to hide.
“You’re not ready, are you?”
I shook my head, giving him an honest answer. Parker nodded once.
“We’ll wait,” he grunted. “I actually think it’s better if we do. I have some self-control, but I don’t trust myself in bed.”
I gulped at his wolfish grin.
“We should get ready. Thank you for breakfast.”
“It was only pancakes,” I blushed.
He shook his head. “I didn’t mean the food.”
Parker kissed me on the lips before walking away.
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