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It’s decided. We’re going with Darker 😉
My heart broke a little when writing this chapter.
A summary of my toxic relationship with writing: building characters I love then breaking my own heart.
🌻🌻🌻
“I think we should take a break,” Ryan said, sitting down on the stage. He cracked open a bottle of water and handed it to me, but I shook my head. I sat down beside him at a comfortable distance, watching him tilt his head back and drink. As he raised his chin, his jawline sharpened, and his Adam’s apple bobbed at each gulp.
“You’re very handsome,” I told him. Ryan choked on his water, getting his shirt all wet. He turned his head, coughing while hitting his chest.
“Are you okay?” I frowned.
“Yeah,” he rasped between coughs, wiping his wet lips with the back of his hand. “I just wasn’t ready for you to say that. I never am.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
I needed to be more careful with my compliments. They seemed counter-productive. Ryan and I had been rehearsing at our university’s theatre room the entire afternoon. He helped me with my lines and gave me many acting tips, like how to avoid stuttering or what to do with my hands while speaking.
“You’re really good at this,” I told him, dangling my feet over the edge of the stage. “How long have you been acting?”
“Since middle school,” he admitted. “I was one of those geeky theatre losers who was into literature and poetry.”
“I love literature and poetry!” I beamed, and he chuckled.
“Not many people did in middle school. I was bullied a lot for it,” he smiled sheepishly.
“Bullied for having a passion?”
“For having an unpopular passion. That, and I was overweight. It didn’t help that I wore thick square glasses. My entire appearance screamed ‘hit me,'” he laughed darkly. “Books and plays were my only friends back then.”
Ryan’s sad past surprised me. We’ve only met recently, and the rare moments we saw each other, there were always girls around him, and he seemed to have many friends. Everyone loved and admired him. He had a great personality and the looks to go with his talent.
Then I reminded myself that you never really knew anyone. You knew fragments of them, the parts that they wanted and you to see, but there was an entire realm you didn’t know of and perhaps never would.
“After I graduated, I told myself that I’d start fresh. I ditched the glasses, put in some contact lenses, and started hitting the gym. I went on crazy diets the summer before my first year in uni,” he said. “Now, people treat me differently. I’m no longer seen as the geeky nerd who likes acting, but the handsome student with a hot passion for playwrite. But I’m still the same person, glasses or not.”
I could hear the sadness in Ryan’s voice.
“Sorry, I must be boring you with my lame childhood stories,” he chuckled.
“No, I think it’s very nice of you to share something about your past,” I said. “I admire you for that. I wish I could do the same.”
“You’re the only one in this school who knows,” he smiled shyly, his blue eyes twinkling.
“I am?”
“Yeah,” he said. That made me feel special, so I tried to think of something I could share with Ryan.
“I didn’t have any friends in high school either,” I told him. “The only person I could talk to was the cafeteria lady from Russia. We didn’t speak the same language, but I felt like she understood me better than those who did.”
Ryan looked at me in a way I couldn’t quite describe.
“It would have been nice if you and I met each other in high school. I think we would have been great friends,” I said.
Ryan’s eyes brightened, and a smile pulled at his lips.
“You’re special, Conan, you know that? You think you’re a bush, but you’re actually the main lead.”
I wanted to cry because Ryan was so kind.
“Thank you,” I murmured.
He smiled, reaching out to tousle my hair. I remained still, trying to relax my muscles. Ryan’s hands were big, and he had strong arms, but I tried to tell myself that he wasn’t going to hurt me. I stared at my lap when his hands gently ran through my hair.
“I’d like to see you more,” he said.
“For rehearsal?” I inquired.
“Sure,” he said, lowering his hand. He was sitting close to me now, and our legs almost touched.
“Do you think we could meet outside of university for rehearsal? My place or yours, whichever you prefer,” Ryan suggested.
Ryan must really take his passion for acting seriously. He was always determined to find time to rehearse. I didn’t want to disappoint him. Besides, I enjoyed spending time with him. He was a good friend.
“Okay, if you tell me when you’re free, we can find a time during the weekend to meet,” I told him. His smile widened.
“Perfect!” he beamed.
I was happy that he was happy. He told me he’d confirm which day would work best for him in the upcoming days. Then we went over the last lines of act I scene II before leaving. We left the building and Ryan was telling me about his English professor when I saw Parker in the parking lot.
He was leaning against his motorcycle, smoking, and there was a girl with him. It was the same blond woman I saw the first few days I arrived at the apartment building.
Parker never wore colorful clothes. He didn’t have bright hair or eyes that looked like the sea or grass, but he always stood out. Charisma radiated around him, as well as a darkness that left you curious and intrigued. At that moment, although it wasn’t the first, I wanted to reach out and touch him.
The girl he was with did it in my stead. She laughed and stole his cigarette, putting it between her own lips. Parker tried to snatch it back, but she dodged and ran away, climbing onto a table and taunting him with a wide grin.
He rolled his eyes, but his lips softened into a smile, and I felt my heart race even though he wasn’t smiling at me.
“Alright, you can have it, just come down from there,” Parker sighed. “I’m not going to take responsibility if you slip and crack your damn head.”
He was right to take precautions. It had snowed heavily last night, and the table the girl was standing on was covered in snow.
She took a drag from Parker’s cigarette, ignoring his warning.
“You’re going to hurt me if I come down,” she stated.
“What is this? Middle school?” He scowled in a mocking tone. She shrugged.
“I doubt anything can ever be PG-13 with you,” she cackled, which made me flinch.
“Will you just come down?” Parker mumbled.
“You promise you won’t do anything?”
“I promise,” he snapped. Despite his annoyance, he gave out his hand.
The girl hesitated at first, but took it, and hopped off the table. She almost slipped on the patch of ice she landed on, but Parker caught her arm in the nick of time. He glared at her but she grinned, too giddy and high on life.
“Idiot,” he mumbled, looking annoyed without really being annoyed, and she laughed, saying something to him that I couldn’t hear. I was too far away.
So that’s what it’s like to be normal.
“What are you looking at?” Ryan asked, following my gaze and looking at the two who continued to argue and laugh.
“Oh, it’s Parker,” he mumbled, his voice falling flat. “He must have found himself another girlfriend.”
My chest tightened, and I couldn’t find myself to tell him that Parker was with me. It seemed absurd, even to me. Why would someone like Parker want to be with someone like me, anyway?
“Well, I guess they look cute together,” Ryan murmured.
I smiled, but it hurt.
“Yes, they do.”
🌻🌻🌻
Please don’t forget to leave a vote ❤
Which emojis would you use to describe the characters?
Mine would be something like:
Parker 😡🤬🤕
Conan: ✉🎇🥺
Freddie: 🤓👨🦰🥰
Zev: 🍬🍫🍭
Bonus
Greg: “I’ll fix it, A.S.A.P” 🤪🤪🤪
P.s: can we all agree how honest Conan? He’s so honest and savage in his own way while still maintaining his pure self. Idk how to explain it 😂😂
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