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Chapter 39
Eli’s pov
I practically ran down the street to Carters house.
He should be out of school by now, and I needed to get him back.
My heart quickened with anxiety as I turned the corner to his house.
What if he rejects me? I hurt him pretty bad.
I didn’t have time to worry because when I turned the corner I practically ran into the person I so desperately needed to talk to. Carter.
He seemed surprised to see me, and unfortunately not glad.
“We need to talk.” I said softly but he lowered his gaze.
“I don’t want to talk to you Eli.” He mumbled and continued to walk passed me.
I reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him back.
“Please just listen to me,” I pleaded. He gave me a doubtful look but nodded.
“There isn’t an amount of words I can say to take everything I did back, but I’m so god damn sorry.” I said the words strong.
“When my dad told me he had cancer I just got so scared, I thought ending things between us would fix that but it didn’t.” I said and my voice cracked.
“I could try to erase the pictures of us on my phone and I could lose your number and try to move on but it would never work because I can’t just ‘delete’ us.” I said and a tear fell down my cheeks.
I grabbed his hands and held them between us desperately. His eyes had began to water, but I wasn’t done.
“I’m in love with you and I know we’re young but what we have,” My voice was stronger by the moment and I motioned between us. “Feels like forever.”
“But what about when something else scares you again?” He sighed, looking down. “Will you just forget that again?” He said looking up with ears falling and his words cut deep into my heart. I really messed up.
“Listen to me, I won’t get scared again.” I tried to plead with him.
“How do I know that?” He asked.
“I told my dad that I was gay,” i took in a deep breath “I told my dad I was gay because I know that I will never find another person like you, and I will never stop loving you.” He started to cry again and shook his head.
“You made me believe that I was worthless.” He said broken.
I’m such a jerk.
“And I hate you because of it.” He took a step away from me and I felt my Jett breaking again.
I hate you for hurting me. I hate you for giving up on me, on us. I hate the fact that it was so easy for you to just throw everything we had away,” he said crying.
“It wasn’t easy!” I defended myself.
“But most of all, hate you because even after you made me feel like what we had was a lie, I still love you.” He said stepping closer to me, tears streaming down his face.
I whipped away his tears and cupped his face in my hands.
“Please take me back.” I begged.
Chapter 39
Carters pov
I looked at the boy in front of me through tears and sighed.
“Of course.” I said nodding.
He instantly looked relieved. His hands were still on the sides of my face and I felt like melting under his touch.
“Can I kiss you?” He asked breathing in and taking in the features of my face.
This was the look. The look that made me feel so sure he loved me.
“People might see.” I said my voice small. I knew he couldn’t just change over night, he must have been still scared.
But a part of me hoped he would kiss me anyways.
He backed away and nodded.
“yeah I guess there’s still that.” He sighed.
Yeah… There’s still that.
“Well I umm, I got to go I made plans with Kayla but can we meet before school Tomarow?” He asked.
“Yeah definetly.” I smiled and him. He smiled and turned to walk away.
He loved me but he can’t kiss me infront of people yet.
Then does he really love me?
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