Array
(
[text] =>
Chapter 2
Carter a pov
I walked home from the school, kinda happy.
Wes wanted me to stay after school to watch some baskettball game that was happening tonight but I really don’t like sports.
Wesley was cool. I was expecting to go the entire day without having anyone acknowledging my existence, but that hadn’t happened. And I was kinda grateful.
I thought back to the cute guy, Eli. He was pretty nice to, but he seemed soo straight . But there was something… Off about him. Like he was acting. Faking something. Not being himself. I guess I didn’t really have any reason to say that, I didn’t even know the guy.
I decided to ignore those thoughts for a while as I walked into my house.
I sighed at the sight of the random, half empty boxes around our living room and kitchen. I guess my mom hasn’t had the time to unpack yet.
“Carter? You home dear?” I heard my moms voice come from upstairs.
“Yep.” I shouted back, popping the ‘P’
I heard her walk down stairs and she walked into the living room smiling at me.
“Well how was it? Meet any friends? See any cute guys?” She asked eagerly and I chuckled. My parents were both really accepting of my whole ‘queerness’
“Yes and… Yes.” I said and we both sat down on one of the couches.
“Ooo, tell me all the details.” She said, sounding like a teenage girl. I loved my mom.
“Well my friends name is Wesley, and he’s pretty cool, he is definetly nicer then most people there.” I replied and she nodded, hanging onto every word.
“What do you mean nicer then most people there? Are they being mean?” She asked worriedly. I shook my head no and she breathed a sigh of relief.
“And the boys name is Eli, he’s in my history class.” I said shyly.
“Is he gay?” She asked, I shrugged.
“Well, If he ever breaks my baby’s heart, me and your father will kill him.” She teased.
I laughed and sighed. I barely knew the guy and my mom was already acting like we were a couple.
Chapter 2
Eli’s pov
When me, and the rest of the basketball team started getting ready in the locker room for our game I felt my nerves rising. What if I didn’t make any points? What if I disappointed my dad?
Everyone else seemed so excited, completely oblivious to my anxietys.
My dad wasn’t the only thing that made my nerves high tonight though. Carter was in my mind and it seemed like he didn’t plan on leaving.
We kept sharing these weird looks and I don’t know but I think he likes me.
Do I like him?
I stayed silent all the way till I was on The court, and the game was about to start.
I heard my dad cheering, Kayla and the cheerleaders, girls trying to get my attention, other team mates, but it all drowned out when the game started.
I ran as fast as I could, played as aggressive as possible, and I was as focused as ever.
I heard my dads victory cheers Everytime I made a shot, leading the team into victory.
Only, I didn’t care.
When the game ended, girls ran up to me congratulating me, the coach even was proud of me.
I knew by the look on my dads face I didn’t disappoint him, but why didn’t I feel so relieved? I felt… Numb almost.
I was stuck in this cycle. Never being able to feel completely satisfied or content.
I lay in bed that night, staring at my ceiling.
I won for my team. My dad was proud. No one knew I was gay. I was safe. But I still felt horrible.
I realized it is because I would never feel completely myself.
For ever how long I would have to pretend to be completely masculine, just some walking testosterone, I would never completely be myself.
I didn’t always want to play sports, sometimes I wanted to cry while watching some romance movie, or even paint my nails, or be able to hold a boys hand in public.
But I would never be able to do any of that.
My dad would never accept me.
And the mere thought of having boyfriend was terrifying.
But could I really live my entire life pitiful?
Was I just gonna let other people force me to be someone I’m not?
My mind wandered to Kayla.
She had never said anything homophobic before, but then again she never said she accepted gay either.
Maybe I could tell her…
The idea starts to settle in my mind.
I was gonna tell her. I was gonna finally be able to be myself around someone.
Or I was about to lose my best friend.
I rubbed my eyes and lazily grabbed my phone from my bed side table.
I felt my heart race and my palms were shaking.
Was I really about to go this.
I found her contact and called her.
Ring…. I felt sick to my stomach. Ring…. What if she hated me? Ring….
“Eli, why are you calling me so late?” Her voice was tired and groggy.
“Kayla I need you to listen to me,” I said seriosly. “I didn’t plan on telling you this over the phone but, I think it’s better then telling it to your face.” I said.
“What? Eli what are you talking about?” She instantly became alert and her confuses voice was laced with worry.
“Your my best friend Kayla, but I’ve been keeping something from you…” My voice tailing off and starting to shake. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t do this.
“I know…” She replied with a sigh.
“What?” I asked confused.
“I know your gay Eli.” Her words struck me like a dagger.
I stayed quite for a while so I could comprehend her words.
I thought nobody could tell?
“And you’re still my best friend, I don’t hate you, and,” she said taking a breath. “Your secret is safe with me…”
I let out a breath that I hadn’t realized I was holding.
“So, get some sleep, and I’ll see you Tomorrow morning. Good night.” She said and the line went dead.
I layer back down smiling.
She didn’t hate me.
[text_hash] => a2c94f0c
)