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Breath
Precious and vital
He returned my breath to me
Not death nor angel
Ty
Last night, I dreamt that I was drowning again. Except this time, amongst the seaweed’s clutches and the water’s chill, Ty was there. He saved me.
I have an hour left until I have to meet Ty at the diner. I look over my outfit in the closet’s full-length mirror one more time, a little shaky, but excited. My usual attire, light jeans and a t-shirt, is accompanied by a purple scarf I picked up at a thrift store in Kingston last year. I crinkle my brow as I look over myself, deciding that the scarf is a little too much. I’ll already be hot enough in my jeans with my shorts in the wash; a scarf would only make that worse.
I take a deep breath. You’ll be fine, Ethan. You’ll be fine. Ty won’t be able to tell that you have a crush on him.
You’ll be fine.
~~~~~~~
I walk into the diner, surprised to find it nearly empty, except for one single silhouette in the farthest booth in the right-most corner of the room.
Ty.
I approach him casually, trying to keep a smile on my lips. “Hey, where’s everyone?”
He sighs, running his strong hands through his slightly damp hair. “They haven’t shown up yet. I suspect they’ve slept in. But hey, at least I’ve got you.” He shoots me a smile, teeth and all.
I slide into the bench opposite him, the fabric covering the seat soft against my fingers. “Do they do this a lot?”
“Sometimes,” he admits, a little sheepish. “I can’t blame them, though. After such a stressful school year, it’s nice to be able to rest for a few extra hours every morning.”
I look over his outfit, a mismatched combination of black sports shorts and a short-sleeved plaid button-up. I almost smirk, but catch myself before I can.
“So, uh, what are you having?” I look over the menu, paying more attention to the prices than to the actual dishes themselves. Without a summer job, I’ve got to be conscious of my spending.
“Pancakes. They’re huge! And we get a plate of three.” He rests his chin on his knuckles. “What do you think about splitting a plate?”
“Sure.”
The sole waitress, a sweet, short redhead named Rhonda, takes our orders and returns quickly with two glasses of freshly-squeezed orange juice. I thank her.
“So, did you have fun at the party last night?” Ty takes a sip of his drink, and the light above us flickers, casting shadows on his tanned skin.
“Yeah, it was a nice change. From sitting around alone, that is.” I elaborate, gazing around the restaurant at the odd choice of colour scheme. Brown and blue….and yellow?
“Hey listen, I’m really sorry for basically abandoning you at the party last night. Henry was in really bad shape and I couldn’t just leave our buzzed friends to deal with him on their own.” He appears apologetic, gazing at me through his thick black eyelashes. “It was rude of me not to see you out, no excuses.”
“T-that’s fine.” I stutter, remembering the party. The party where he called me…hot.
“I was really worried that I’d made a bad impression.” He laughs, a beautiful, musical sound.
“Don’t worry about it.” I blush a little, and take a sip of my own orange juice.
Rhonda asks us if she can get us anything else while we’re waiting for our food. I shake my head silently while Ty asks for a refill.
“So…” He trails off, stirring the juice with the red straw. “Who do you live with?”
I’m slightly taken aback by the question. I’d think it’d be obvious. “My parents.”
“I thought so. I don’t like to assume though, because mine died last year, so I live alone now.” I open my mouth to offer condolences, but he cuts me off. “Don’t say sorry! I’ve dealt with it in my own way.” He shrugs nonchalantly, his expression blank. He changes the subject quickly. “So, what are your hobbies, Ethan? Aside from entangling yourself in seaweed, I already know that one.” He jokes, and I actually chuckle.
“I like writing and sketching.” I answer honestly, gripping my knees nervously beneath the table.
“Oh!” His face lights up. “What kind of stuff?”
I’m a bit embarrassed at what comes out of my mouth next. “I usually draw whatever I find to be beautiful.”
“What about your poems? What are they about?”
I hesitate. “Just whatever I feel I’d like to write about.” I write about anxiety and boys. Nothing special.
Rhonda proves to be my saving grace, interrupting us before things can get too awkward. I see that Ty was not exaggerating at the size of these pancakes. Fluffy and sprinkled with sugar, my mouth starts to water at the sight.
“Are we going to share the actual plate?”
“I don’t see why not, unless you’ve got any objections, Ethan?”
I shake my head, and after drizzling a good amount of sweet maple syrup over them, I dig in.
“Hey, we should hang out at the beach after this.” Ty suggests through a mouthful of pancake. “I’m off lifeguard duty for a few days, but I promise that I’ll watch out for you.”
I hesitate, still slightly traumatized by the previous events at the beach. But then I tell myself that Ty will be there, and I don’t even have to go in the water, so I nod.
Ty takes a sip of his juice. “Excellent.”
~~~~
I agree to meet Ty at the beach fifteen minutes after he drops me off at my house. I hurry to change into swim trunks and flip flops, packing a few extra water bottles just in case.
I hope that Ty doesn’t think that my swim trunks mean I want to actually go for a swim. Just the thought of it makes my stomach hurt with fear.
At the beach, I’m greeted by a deliciously shirtless Ty, who catches sight of me and waves me over. I jog up to him, my toes instantly covered in sand.
“Hey” He grins, patting my shoulder, his hand straying for a few moments longer than is typical of boys our age. “So I’m guessing you probably don’t want to swim today.”
“Maybe we could, uh, walk at the shallow water? I like looking at the shells. I don’t want to wade in far, though.” I tack on quickly. I decide, on the spot, that a little water won’t hurt me.
“Sounds good.” He drops his own bag and towel at his feet and grins. “Race you!”
I chase Ty to the lake, gasping when he unexpectedly pours a handful of cold water over my head. I try doing the same to him, but I miss, and I almost trip into the shallow waves at my feet.
I feel like I should be more fearful, more anxious. Water, untamed and untreated, is one of my biggest fears, yet here I am, walking along the shore, gentle waves lapping against my feet.
Thank you, Ty.
In a bold move, I grab a handful of wet sand and dump it onto his hair. He chuckles and dunks himself under the water to wash it out. “Nice one.”
We return to our towels and I ask, “Where to now?”
“How about you go home and change, and then we can meet up at my place for a bit?” He wraps the towel around his broad shoulders. “Maybe my friends will be up by then and we can watch a movie for a bit.”
“Sounds good.”
The sun beats down on us as we go our separate ways, but I stop to watch Ty strolling up the street a few down from my own, until he turns into his driveway and I can’t see him anymore.
~~~
I get dressed into the same outfit as this morning and add a bag of chips to my backpack. After contemplating for a moment I decide to pack my sketchbook. I might not come home right after the movie at Ty’s place, I might sit on a bench in the park for a while and draw the trees and maybe even the sunset.
“Hey!” Ty greets me at the door, a little sheepish. “It turns out the crew went to Kingston on the ferry for the day. I love them but man, can they be more unpredictable? It’s just you and I, then, if that’s ok?”
I step inside, sliding out of my flip flops. “That’s fine. Um, where do I put my bag?”
“Here, on the couch.” He motions to a beat-up floral print couch, the newer, black leather couch in front of the television clearly meant for us.
“What movie are we watching?” I sit on the couch, the leather cool to the touch.
“I’m not sure, let’s see what’s on.” He turns on the television and flips through channels. “There’s Dracula, though I’m not really a fan of vampires. Oh, Narnia! Have you ever seen it?”
“No,” I admit. “What’s it about?”
“It might sound a little childish but it’s about these siblings who move away from their home because of the war, and they find this magical place in the back of a wardrobe and have to fight an evil queen.” He sighs. “You must think I sound positively juvenile right now, don’t you?”
“No, no, no! Not at all!” I reassure him quickly. “I think it sounds great.”
Before I know it, I’m sucked into a world full of talking animals, evil queens and magical justice. I find myself on the edge of my seat, rooting for the siblings and Aslan from the start.
The movie ends and I sit back, impressed. “That was a lot better than you described it!”
Ty smiles, the sun’s rays shining down on his thin pink lips from the open window beside us. “You liked it?”
“I loved it.”
Ty glances at his watch absent-mindedly, suddenly upright and tense. “Crap! I totally forgot.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I’ve gotta meet my cousin at the dance studio in an hour. Sorry to cut this short.” He bites his lip. “Maybe we can meet up again soon?”
I reply confidently. “That would be great.”
“Just give me a call whenever.” He shows me to the door, waving from his window as I make my way down the street. I wave back.
It’s only at eight o’clock that night that I remember that I left my bag at Ty’s house.
With my terrible drawing of Ty in it.
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