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Dear diary
Ang hirap pala mainlove kapag positive ka no? Madami ka dapat isa alang- alang. Madami ka dapat paghandaan at panindigan…
I’ve been single for almost 3 years and because what I have, mas inisip ko ang kapakanan ng taong nag attempt manligaw sakin… This is how my love journey started before I was diagnosed.
Way back when I was in college, I had first relationship with a boy, he loved me very much, he treated me like a prince or princess. He cooked me a food every morning, he gave me baon sometimes kase janitor ako s school during those times (working student) meaning poor talaga.He used to lend his loptop for my projects purposes and he drove me a car to get me in school. He was a nice guy. He loved me and I loved him too. I never looked to another guy or what not. I always looked him as my one and only not by the things he had given nor by thecaring heart he had. WWe’ve been into a relationship for 2 years and something happened. He went to abroad and as I was graduating during those timesiI met a girl. Meaning I decided to separate with a guy being honest with him or even not to betray him that I felt in love with a girl. Same situation, the girl was my first ever gf and same a guy. She loved me so much, my family and her family were super close indeed. I graduated college with a bachelors degree and I got my job. When we were two years by then, I asked myself, did I what myself to have family already? Or did I need want to enjoy my life being single? Meaning confused. Don’t know what to do. Don’t know what was like. And like my first bf I decided to break with my first gf who understands me, who accepted me whoever I was, where I came from, and who treated me like a straight guy. It was hard for me by then cozmy mon was crying that moment. Few months later, I felt that I was moved on. There was a Chinese businessman managing a corporation courting me. He loved me but I never got anything from him just love because I had also work and successful life by then.
I gave my yes to him when he asked me if he could be my boyfriend daw… Part of our relationship was sex. Since I trusted him, I gave my life, everything… Then something happened.
After I got my good job at office, after I had successful story, everything changed because I got this virus… I went back to him and I asked his yaya and she told me that guy was went back to US. He blocked me on fb, he blocked me over the phone.
I was alone during those times,… Who helped me on my downfall? My ex gf. She was beside me when I got sick because of allergy in neviraphine. I had Steven Johnson syndrome by that time. I got 50 50 life status. But my gf was beside me. She never left me alone. She told me she still loved me. She told me we were start over again… She helped my mom and dad when I was on the hospital, she helped me every day and night… She never left me alone…
If you gonna ask me where is she now?? Do we still be lovers? Do we still bf or gf? My answer is no… I decided to let her go away because I didn’t want to be selfish. I didn’t want to let her dreams be ruined by what happened to me. I loved her and she loved me too. I asked her if she left me alone, find a right one who will love the way how I loved her. What she replied me back, thank you for telling me but I didn’t leave you. Time heals, we don’t have enough communication and I know she had been moved on.
Where are those two people who loved me? Why are those things happened? Why me? I because I know God has purpose over my life. He let me to experience the most beautiful life may offer… It was a rough road sometimes. We might encounter ups and we might encounter downfalls… But what thing I want you to know. No matter what life brings you. Ask Gods help, seek His mercy and He will provide you. He will never forsake or condemn you but he will encourage you to lift up your head and stand again from your downfalls or failures….
My kind of week is awesome with people inspiring me a lot family, friends and God above all.
Godbless us…
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