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Without warning I’m back. I’m back in the house I had arrived. But this time the sunlight burned my eyes, the street looked less optimistic and the idea of humanity had lost its magic. I’m still glad to be human though and only seconds after my arrival I’m out the door. To find him. I’m exhausted in so many ways; it feels like years I had been waiting. But underneath all the grey weariness is a manic pull toward Drew’s house. Its almost obsessive, my need to see him. To find him. I run to his front door and knock. Please, please let him be here. Please, please, please. It opens. The anticipation is killing me inside. I feel absolutely out of my mind not knowing what’s going to happen. Please please let him be here. The person who has opened the door is his mother. Her features are similar to Drew’s; she has black hair and the same nose and complexion. BUT ITS NOT DREW. I take a drag of air and try to calm myself quickly so I can ask her.
“Is Drew here?” It comes out demanding and I can tell something wrong is laced in with it. Hysteria. The woman frowns at my rudeness and answers slowly. Too slowly! “Yes…why? Who are you?”
Yes, she said yes. He is alive. My relief takes a burden off my soul that I didn’t even know I was carrying. I feel lighter- and only a few meters’ of house is keeping me from him. I glance behind the woman frantically as if he will be standing there. He’s not so I ask, “Can I see him?”
See him, touch him, talk to him.
She frowns uncertainly but calls out anyway. “Drew! There’s someone here who wants you!” I wait anxiously until Drew walks into my sight. What I notice first is the ‘walk’ part. He’s limping. Then I notice everything else. He’s wearing black jeans, a neatly pressed black shirt and a grey lapelled vest. The black is startling in contrast to his white skin but it only serves to make him seem more dramatically handsome. His face. His lips are pink and are slightly open in shock, but what looks like shock then reaches his eyes and they look stormy. His lashes are so black he could be wearing eyeliner but he’s not. Then the brewing storm I had glanced in his eyes grows bigger and encompasses all of him. His body in mid-step tenses, his jaw stiffens, his cheekbones jump out at me. His circle of a mouth closes abruptly, shutting the storm inside him. I just drink him in, every move he makes even if he looks scarier now then ever.
Then he limps forward, he’s about three meters away but every step he takes forward squeezes my heart. He stands behind his mum. “Yes, it’s ok mum I know him. I’m just going to talk to him outside. Ok?” She takes two steps back to let him through. “Alright honey.” Drew walks through the threshold of the door and almost brushes my shoulder. He slips past me and starts walking toward the bench in the park near his house. The bench where everything seemed to happen. I’m always going to remember that bench, I thought. I follow him. My body is shouting at me to get closer but his thunderous mood is radiating off him, warning me not to touch him. He suddenly stops, apparently forgetting about the bench.
“You! How dare you come back after leaving me for dead! You-you” I interrupt quietly, my elation and anticipation is gone once I realize how angry he is at me. I feel like a dead weight. “My name, Erebus Mallory Morgenstern. I didn’t want to use it but I think you deserve to know it now.” He stares at me as if he can’t believe I had the gall to talk. Then continues. “I didn’t know what happened, I woke up alone with a broken leg and fractured bones, and you were gone! And as if that’s not enough I find Michael dead. I screamed for help! For you, and you never came back.” The storm is escaping his mouth in black clouds. He continues.
” And months after you were gone I thought I’d imagined you. I was depressed, and it was your fault. I cared about you enough to miss you, and I only knew you for two days! And I hated myself for caring! And I hate you and you shouldn’t have come back!”
Two pinpricks of red anger on his cheeks are a startling juxtapose to the soft pinkness I had seen so long ago. He looked completely dominant and powerful all red white and black. His hands flew around graphically expressing his anger, he shouts and his face became redder, more flustered. One of his hands combed furiously through his perfectly styled silky black hair. A lone tear falls off his cheek. “Five months! Five months you were gone. You said you’d protect me! YOU LIED!” He’s screaming at me and it breaks my heart. It hurts so much. I feel like dying. Five months I’d been gone…I’d broken my promise…
“Please Drew…” I whimper.
“You never came back!” He gasps and the tears are flowing out of his heartbroken eyes but he looks so, so angry and hurt and I can’t take it. I need to catch him in his fall; I need to stop the hurt. I move forward and catch his lips in mine, catch his body in my arms. He’s momentarily stunned and doesn’t respond. Then jarringly he shoves off me, and I’m so shocked, so hurt I just stand there.
“I’m sorry.” I whisper. I nearly collapse because all the energy, all the warmth I have ever felt just poured off me and slipped down the cracks of the pavement. I look at Drew. All white and black and so perfect I think. I feel like these are the last things I’ll ever think, I’m so close to slipping into the pavement with everything else.
Drew moves forward. And catches me, in his arms, with his lips. Again I am absolutely stunned and I don’t touch him because even though he’s the one kissing me, last time I touched him he shoved away. He’s kissing me as if he is still so angry; he’s kissing me furiously. It’s the most confusing, sexy thing ever. I kiss back fervently and my hands thread through his soft, silken hair.
Then I remember, I want to do everything right by him and as much as I would love to be tearing his clothes off right now, things are going way too fast. Slow down. Slow down. With supreme effort of will I pull out of the kiss and say “Slow down, we shouldn’t have to rush.” His eyes, with black pupils so large and needy calm down slightly as he takes a breath and replies. “You know I’m still angry with you…”
“I can tell,” I laugh and a grin spreads across my face. He smiles, and doesn’t reply.
I feel suddenly warm, and I know that things aren’t fixed, I know that everything is not ok and that I will have so much to make up for. But for now, just for this moment I have Drew, and that’s all that matters.
I realized then, that this was what made me human, what made us all human. To love and to be loved.
End.
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