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My first sight upon opening my eyes was one I would never forget, it was my wakening into new life and it gave me a feeling of warmth. I took a few more steps and in a blissful haze walked out of the house and followed the boy. He had sat down on a bench further ahead. I intended to walk straight up to him but my mind cleared slightly and I realized that I shouldn’t be so impulsive. I hadn’t even examined myself yet.
I stretched experimentally and looked at my body, I had two arms and two legs, as expected. My skin was an average tone if a little pinkish; my arms were long and scattered with light hair. I had clothes on thankfully, I was aware that being naked was hardly acceptable. I was male, I confirmed after a moment. I reach up to touch my hair- it was longer than the boys, more messy and brown in color. I’m bored of myself now so I continue my way to the boy, not caring about precaution. I almost reach out to touch his hair too but I stop myself. I sit next to him on the bench. He looks at me as if I’m going to hurt him. I am completely shocked. Why would I, or another want to hurt him? He was so innocent and nonviolent looking. My brow creases slightly in a confused frown. Seeing the boy this close shows me he is rather thin, his lips are pink and his hands and screwed up together as if he is angry with them or something. He speaks and it is the first words I ever hear spoken.
“What do you want?” The way he says it is demanding and habitual but as he finishes his sentence and looks at me his face changes to confusion and curiosity.
“I don’t want anything” These are the first words I speak. I’m looking into his entrancing eyes again, just staring because they are beautiful. I haven’t had enough experience yet to know if this is rude or not. I am surprised once again at how I’m thinking and feeling. I feel so little anger, so much peace and happiness it’s disorientating. I’m not used to it.
“Um” And that’s all he says, just um. I don’t know what um means. I have a moment of panic because I don’t know what um means. After a second I reason that Um is probably his name. Then something strange happens which I also don’t understand. The boys’ cheeks change color slightly. I wasn’t at all aware humans had this ability to change skin color and I didn’t know if this was a sign he was ill. I impulsively reach out to touch. To try and understand what this color means. It’s a lovely color, all rosy and pink. He shifts back, startled. Wide eyed he starts to leave.
“Wait Um! Don’t go.” I’m not sure what possesses me to call out.
He tilts his head to the side and narrows his eyes slightly.
“Who are you?” He asks.
“I don’t know” I answer honestly. I’d only been in this life for roughly ten minutes I estimated. I didn’t think about my previous ‘life’, I was determined that it didn’t exist anymore. Therefore I didn’t know who I was yet.
The boy is the one staring at me now. His expression is once again confused and curious but also cautious.
He sits back down carefully on the edge of the bench away from me. That makes me feel less warm.
“Well… Why did you sit on this bench next to me?” He asks, again another question. This time he looks a little bit unhappy like he’s worried of what I might say.
“You looked lonely.” I answer him in a short sentence, I really hope this time he doesn’t try to leave. I only want to talk to him, make him not lonely. This time he looks even more startled and the rosy color goes back into his cheeks. I stare at him and tried to discern his expression. Um looked happy? But also worried. I reached out to touch the color on his face again fascinated. His eyes widened and he looked at me in a very confused way.
“Um ok this is very odd. I’m sorry for asking but um are you like gay?”
The question confuses me in turn. Because even though I had a reasonable English vocabulary I wasn’t sure what ‘Gay’ was. As I searched for the meaning of gay I looked at Um who still had rosy cheeks and was looking at me in a way I didn’t understand. Ah! I remembered the meaning of gay, meaning happy, yes I thought I was probably was happy.
I answered excitedly, pleased at myself for having worked it out.
“Yes! I am” I smile.
“Oh” Um’s eyebrows went up, he looked surprised and almost happy. Then something happens, another boy walks up, he is taller than Um or me and he has an angry look on his face, which also looks happy. Strange… Somehow this boy looks less nice then Um but I stand up to greet him anyway, interested in new company. The new boy’s attention is turned to Um though, he growls like a beast and says “Hey Drew faggot face where have you been? Me and the boys have been looking for you!” He smiles broadly and like a shark but I know it can’t be a real smile because he just offended Um. I was almost certain ‘faggot face’ was an insult and he called him Drew. Was Drew his name? I didn’t like this new boy at all and as I stared at him he turns his attention to me. “And who are you? Are you this fuckers boyfriend?” He laughs cruelly. I’m really starting to dislike him. He said boyfriend the way you might say cockroach. Again another strange thing happens, I suddenly have new energy in my body and I have an urge to take a step forward and hit him.
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