Array
(
[text] =>
(A/N) Hey guys!! so i didn’t go to my aunt’s house so here’s the update!! ENJOY MY LOVELIES🌹🌹🌹
• • •
It’s been a few weeks since that night, Harry and I haven’t spoken to each other, granted neither of us have made the effort to get out of bed since then. Harry had been sleeping in Niall’s room since Ni sleeps in Liam’s room now.
“Lou. Do you want something to eat?” Liam whispered as he entered the room.
“No thanks, Li, but thanks.” I mumbled back.
“Come on, Lou. You need to eat something.” Liam said and sat on the edge of my bed.
“Li, I’m just not hungry, drop it, yeah.” I said.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Like complete and utter shit, thanks for asking.” I said sarcastically.
“Sorry.. well if you get hungry, just come down and I’ll make you something.” he smiled.
“Thanks, Li. Love you!” I smiled, for the first time, a real smile.
“Love you, Tommo.” he chuckled.
Was it time? Was this whole thing ready to finally end? But he did this to me.. so shouldn’t he apologize?
I groaned when I got a headache from thinking over the situation again and again. I threw the duvet off my body and I stood up and went downstairs. I went to the kitchen and grabbed Tylenol and a glass of water.
I went to the living room and sat with the rest of the boys, “Louis!” Niall yelled excitedly and pounced on me, “Ni, it’s great to see you too but could you like.. get the fuck off me.” I laughed and threw his off.
“Dang dude, you need a shower.” Niall said as he went back to Liam.
“Sorry.” I muttered and looked at the plaid pattern on my pants.
“But it’s great to see you again Lou-ehh!” Zayn smiled and gave me a noogy.
“Nice to see you too, Malik.” I laughed and pushed him off.
“I’ll go get a shower then.” I said and stood up then went up the stairs and to my room.
Does he even want me back? If he did wouldn’t he’ve made his move by now? Was this whole thing a joke?
I thought about the situation yet again as I let the scolding, hot water drip down my body. I sighed and put shampoo into my greasy, not so feather hair then rinse and repeated with the conditioner then stepped out on the cold tile floor. The steam fogged up the gigantic mirror that hung over the sinks so I wiped it away and just took a good look at myself.
Was this a sign? A sign that Harry and I just weren’t meant to be together?
I sighed and felt the depression kick in again as I looked into the drawer and pulled out the packet of razor blades.
I remember the day that Harry came barging into my bathroom at home with me doing the same thing that I’m doing now, except.. my Superman isn’t here to save me this time.
I remembered how he held me so close and so tight that day, he was genuinely scared of what I did to myself. He gave me this long, sweet speech and then we kissed for the first time.. wow. Seems like yesterday he was saving me from Mason, Tanner and Jason.
I pressed the cool, thin metal to my thigh and slid it slowly across, reopening older scars.
“I’ll always be her for you, Boo!”
Another lash underneath the first one, a little deeper this time.
“I’d never hurt you, you’re my Boobear!”
I continued until I had five cuts lining my thigh with bright red slowly trickling down and onto the floor.
I remember the tender touches and the sweet nothings we’d whisper to each other, the smiling, laughing, the ‘I love you’s, everything. I let out a choked sob and finally broke down again, after two weeks of holding it all in I just couldn’t anymore.
I sobbed and cried and screamed and kicked and punched the walls.
I was surprised that the neighbors weren’t calling the police and telling them someone is being murdered next door.
“Louis? Louis open the door right now!” I heard Harry yell, punching and kicking the door.
“Go away! I don’t want to see you!” I screamed and pulled at my hair as I placed my face in between my knees.
“Loubear..” he mumbled, “please stop, I need you. Whether we’re talking or fighting, together or apart.. I don’t care! I need you and I know you need me too.” he spoke softly.
“I don’t need you! You cheated on me! You lost your virginity to some slut! I was suppose to not some stranger!” I cried, it was true. I was hoping to take Harry’s virginity. Of course I wasn’t planing to do anytime soon, but I was hoping to do so later on in life, but now I can’t.
“Louis, I’m sorry, okay! I’m so so sorry! I wasn’t thinking and I was drunk and.. I’m just sorry! I never meant to hurt you or betray you! I love you and.. and I-I can’t live with myself anymore! I’m disgusted by what I did and I just.. I’m sorry Louis. I’m sorry.” he said then I heard him slide down the door.
Was he just as broken as I was? Was he sincerely and genuinely sorry for what he did?
“Louis.. please don’t do this. I don’t care how mad you are at me, open the door, please?” he spoke so softly I almost didn’t catch what he said.
I finally rose to my feet, wrapped my towel around my waist again and opened the door. Harry was sitting there with his back towards me and he was quick to stand up and lead me back into the bathroom. He examined me until he saw the blood seeping through the towel. He didn’t say a word, he grabbed the bandages and disinfectant cream and set to work. I just sat there, emotionless and watched his face contort into one of concentration. He wrapped my thigh in gauze then looked up at me. I couldn’t bare to look him in the eyes or even anywhere near his face or body without thinking about it. We sat in silenced, not awkward silence, just.. silence.
“I’m sorry.” he mumbled then left the bathroom and went back to Niall’s room.
I was torn between following him and tell him that it’s okay that we were going to be okay or to just continue sitting here with a blank expression. I went with the second one and went into my bedroom and got dressed in sweats and a tank top. I went over to my bed, opened my laptop then logged into my Netflix account and started to watch re-runs of Friends. I decided to talk to someone I haven’t talked to in a long time. I grabbed my phone and dialed her number.
“Bout time you call me you wanker!” she laughed into the speaker.
“Hey El, it’s nice to talk to you too!” I laughed.
“So what’s up hotshot?” she asked.
“I need your help actually. Could you come over?” I asked.
“Of course.” she said, I gave her the address and hung up.
About twenty minutes later the doorbell rang and I ran down the stairs, “I got it!” I yelled then swung the door open, “Eleanor!” I yelled excitedly then hugged the life out of her.
“Lou, I can’t breathe!” she yelled. I let go of her then pulled her up the stairs to my room and shut the door.
“So what’s up?” she asked and sat on the edge of the bed.
“I need to talk to you about.. Harry.” I couldn’t say his name hardly without wanting to cry.
“Yeah?” she asked.
“We, sorta broke up and I need your advice or something.” I said.
“What?! You broke up? Why?” she yelled.
“Shh! He’s right across the hall!” I hushed.
“Sorry.. why did you guys break up? You two were perfect together.” she asked again.
“He, uh.. he ch-cheated on me.. I-I guess that’s h-how you’d put it.” I, kind of, explained.
“What?” she asked.
“He was drunk and had sex with some girl at a club.” I simplified.
“What? That doesn’t sound like Harry at all.” she said in pure shock.
“I know, Liam told me and I trust Liam.” I said and sat next to her.
“Okay, so what do you need my help with?” she asked.
“What should I do? I mean, yeah, he’s apologized and everything, but I don’t know.. he did this to me so should he be the first to make a move or should I do it since I was a complete asshole to him?” I asked.
“Well, Lou, that’s a tough one. I guess you’ll just have to wait until things fall back into place.” she said softly. That night Eleanor stayed and we just talked and caught up with each other.
Honestly, I didn’t know what to do. I let the thought of anything and everything about Harry float away and continued to talk with Eleanor.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
(A/N) SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE!! today my brother come over for his early birthday thing and i didn’t have time to write out the rest of the story, but hopefully you enjoyed the chapter! ilysm!😘💋💜 please keep reading/voting/commenting!!
[text_hash] => 42b13c28
)