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(A/N) 😱😱😱😱 WWWHHHHHAAAAAAAAA A TRIPLE UPDATE!!!!!!!!! i think i’m on a roll if i do say so myself😏 anywho here’s chapter eight. ENJOY MY LOVELIES💜💜
WARNING: This chapter includes self-harming and may be triggering.
SONG: ‘Invisible’ by Hunter Hayes so sorry but it WILL NOT let you watch the video on the app but you should definitely look it up on YouTube😊
• • •
The day that I taught Harry to dance still burns in the back of my mind as I sit here, a week later, and “pay attention” to the lesson being taught as I stare at nothing, chewing on the eraser of my pencil.
“Mr. Tomlinson. Mr.Tomlinson!” I heard Mrs. Ashby calling my name.
“Yes ma’am?” I asked blushing.
“Were you even listening?” she asked.
“No ma’am. Sorry.” I said blushing harder and looking down at my desk.
“I said who wrote ‘May I Compare Thee to a Summer’s Day?'” she asked again.
“Shakespeare.” I answered.
“Correct, now..” I continued to drown her out as I heard Ashley and her new boyfriend laugh at me.
Even though I hang out with Harry now, I still get bullied and teased, etc.
I looked over to Harry who was a few seats in front of me and he turned around and gave me a smile and thumbs up. I smiled and rolled my eyes and waved him off.
When third block ended I was to go to B lunch, along with Harry and our new friends, Niall and Liam. We met them a few days ago at a smoothie place not far from the school. Liam spilled his smoothie all over Harry and wouldn’t stop apologizing for it and Niall just sat back and chuckled, trying to be discreet but failing.
Liam is quite buff with a buzz cut and adorable, big, brown puppy dog eyes.
Niall was blonde with dark brown roots, obviously dyed, with sparkling blue eyes like mine and Irish. I’d date either one of them if Harry hadn’t already had every piece of my heart hooked on him.
I normally am the last one there because I go to the loo right before. I walked in, did my business and was about to walk out whenever Tanner, Mason and Jason walked in.
“Well, well, well if it isn’t our friend Tomlinson.” Tanner said throwing his arm around my shoulders making me freeze in terror.
“Wh-What do you w-want T-Tanner?” I asked shaking violently.
“Just wanted to make up for lost time Lewis.” Mason said pronouncing my name wrong just to piss me off.
“P-Please l-let me g-go.” I stuttered.
“Make complete sentences fag!” Jason yelled throwing a punch to my stomach and ripping my glasses off and breaking them.
“Go kill yourself fairy! No one wants you!” Tanner yelled kicking me.
“No one loves you!”
“Kill yourself!”
“Fag!”
“Homo!”
Within about their ten minute rage Harry walked in and the rest was a blur. I heard Tanner, Mason and Jason crying in pain then Harry ran and picked me up off the floor.
“Louis! Lou, come on get up mate.” he urged as he practically drug me to the nurses office.
• • •
“Hey Lou. How are you feeling?” I heard Harry ask as he walked into my room. The nurse told me it would be best for me to go home and get some rest. Of course I would have to tell my mother about what happened, but she wasn’t going to know now.
“I’ve been better.” I said as the girls filed into my room.
“Hey my beautiful munchkins!” I said and wrapped them in my arms and kissing their heads, “How was school?” I asked as if nothing had ever happened.
“Good. What happened? Why weren’t you there to pick us up?” Fizzy asked.
“Let’s just say that I ran into the bad kids at school and they don’t like me very well, but we have to keep this a secret from mummy, yeah?” I explained, they all nodded, “Good, now go pop some popcorn and I’ll be down there soon and we can all watch a film okay.” I said and they got excited and ran down the stairs as I chuckled.
“They really are something Loubear.” Harry laughed.
“Loubear?” I asked corking an eyebrow.
“Yea! I came up with a nickname that only I can call you.” he said proudly.
“Okay so now I have to come up with one as well then.” I said as I thought.
“Hazza!” I said as it rolled off my tongue.
“I like it.” he smiled.
“Doesn’t matter if you do or not, I’m still gunna call you it anyways.” I laughed.
“Whatever, Tomlinson.” he rolled his eyes, “Come on! Let’s go watch a film!” he said pulling me out of bed, “Fine, fine.” I said getting up and following Harry downstairs. The girls had the popcorn popped and in a bowl waiting for us on the couch with a movie already in the DVD player.
“What’re we watching?” I asked as Harry and I sat on the couch.
“PeterPan!” Daisy yelled excitedly.
“Yes!” I yelled and Harry jumped from my sudden outburst.
“Louis loves PeterPan. It’s his favorite movie.” Lottie explained for me as I blushed and looked at my fingers resting in my lap.
“He loves all the Disney movies.” Phoebe said.
“Lets just watch the bloody film yeah?” I rushed and pressed the play button.
“It’s okay, Boo. I think it’s cute that you love kid movies.” Harry whispered in my ear sending chills down my spine as he watched the telly with mesmerization in his sparkly eyes.
• • •
Should I really do this?
Yes! Do it you wimp! You haven’t done it in so long! You know you want to! My mind screamed.
I’m currently hunched in the corner of my bathroom with the door locked and the cool piece of metal twirling in my fingertips
Crowded hallways are the
Loneliest places
For outcasts and rebels or
Anyone who just dares to be different
I think back to all the time I sat in the hallways of the school alone because I wasn’t able to get up because I had gotten my usual beating.
And you’ve been trying for so long
To find out where your place is
But in their narrow minds
There’s no room for anyone who
Dares to do something different
Oh, but listen for a minute
I feel the tears pool in my eyes and fall over my lashes and drip down my chin as I let out a choked sob. This is what they want me to do, I thought, this is what I want to do.
Trust the one, who’s been where
You are wishing all it was
Was sticks and stones
Those words cut deep but they don’t
Mean you’re all alone
And you’re not invisible
Hear me out
There’s so much more to life than
What you’re feelin’ now
Someday you’ll look back on all
These days and all this pain is gunna be
Invisible
Oh, invisible
I felt like no matter what I did or what I said or who I was with nothing would get better for me. Not even if my Hazza was with me. He’s not your Hazza.
So your confidence is quiet
To them quiet looks like weakness
But you don’t have to fight it
Cause you’re strong enough to win
Without a war
I dig the razor into my wrist and slowly slid it across, watching as the blood ran down and dripped to the tile floor below.
Every heart has a rhythm
Let yours beat out so loudly
That everyone can hear it
Yeah, I promise you don’t have to
Hide it anymore
My heart pounded out of my chest as I placed the blade under the first lash and applied a little more pressure this time.
Oh, and never be afraid of doing
Something different, dare to be
Something more
I could bear the doorknob wiggle, “Lou? Loubear are you in there?” I heard Harry’s voice call.
Trust the one, who’s been where
You are wishing all it was
Was sticks and stones
Those words cut deep but they don’t
Mean you’re all alone
And you’re not invisible
“Y-Yea. Just a second.” I said putting the blade underneath, going a third time.
Hear me out
There’s so much more to life than
What you’re feelin’ now
Someday you’ll look back on all
These days and all this pain is gunna be
Invisible
“Lou? Louis what’s wrong? Open the door.” he commanded sternly.
These labels that they give you
Just cause they don’t understand
If you look past this moment
You’ll see you’ve got a friend
“Harry, you.. you need to go. Please.” I begged as he continued to wiggle the knob.
“No! I’m not leaving until you open this door!” he yelled.
Waving a flag for who you are
And all you’re gunna do
Yeah, so here’s to you
And here’s to anyone who’s ever
Felt invisible
Yeah, and you’re not invisible
“Louis don’t you dare do this! You’re gunna do something with yourself one day and you’re gunna regret doing this!” he yelled with obvious tears, “Please Lou. Don’t do this!” he yelled banging on the door.
Hear me out
There’s so much more to life than
What you’re feelin’ now
Someday you’ll look back on all
These days and all this pain is gunna be
Invisible
I lifted myself off the floor and slowly walked to the door and opened it Harry threw his arms around me and held me close to his body.
“Don’t you ever scare me like that again! Don’t you ever do this to yourself again!” he cried on my shoulder. He brought me back into the bathroom and cleaned up my injuries as I continued to collect tears in my eyes.
It’ll be invisible
He propped me up on the counter and set to work. Once Harry was done bandaging up my wrist he looked up at me.
“Why?” he asked.
“Because I thought that everything would be okay. That everyone would be happy and pleasant all because the gay, ugly Louis Tomlinson was finally gone from the world.” I said as the tears fell and my voice trembled and cracked.
“Louis, look at me right now.” he demanded.
I willed myself to look into his eyes and listened, “Louis William Tomlinson, don’t you ever think that the world would be better off without you because it wouldn’t. Don’t listen to those guys that pick on you, don’t listen to the kids snickering and laughing at you because you know what Lou? I will be right by your side helping you get through the hell our parents call high school. Your family, Niall, Liam would all be gutted if you were to kill yourself! But I would be the most crushed because my best friend would be gone and I wouldn’t be able to experience life with him anymore. We love you Louis, more than anything. Don’t you ever forget about us, the ones who care about and love you, whenever you feel like this is the only option left.” he spoke as he picked up razor, “This, is not your friend.” he said and threw it in the bin, “I am. So come to me, not him.” he said pointing to the bin.
“I’m so sorry Harry.” I sobbed and threw myself on him and cried on his shoulder.
“I’m so sorry.” I repeated.
“Shh. It’s okay, I’m here now, no one’s going to hurt you anymore, Loubear.” he cooed
I pulled away and stared into his eyes, “Promise?” I asked like the child I am.
“Promise.” he whispered as he continued to look me in the eye.
I looked in his eyes, to his lips, then back up to his emeralds.
“C-Can I-”
Harry wasn’t able to finish his sentence before my lips were molding into his as he kissed me back.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
(A/N) YAASS! so are y’all dead yet or..? anywho i hope y’all enjoyed the triple update today! more chapters are coming Friday! ilysm😘💋💜 i feel like, no matter what, this will be the most emotional and longest chapter of the entire book.
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