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CHAPTER 11
Everyday with Gabriel made me fall for him more and more. I strayed away from the word love at all costs, but I knew my feelings were pointing in that direction. I guess you could just say I was scared. Scared of what could happen if I let myself fall. What if he didn’t feel the same? Or what if he decided that he didn’t want to be with a guy? We weren’t even “boyfriends” yet. I couldn’t let myself fall that hard for someone that I wasn’t even sure would be there to catch me.
I’d see Gabriel in the halls sometimes and he would only give me a smile as he passed by. But his smile was all that I needed. It said everything that needed to be said. Whenever I was with Aurora and we saw him, she’d have a hard time holding in her excitement, but she knew she had to. But in all honesty, I was usually just as excited. Seeing him still made my heart pound through my chest every single time.
Zenan noticed a difference in my mood. I didn’t think it was that obvious but he said that I seemed more “chipper” than usual and demanded that I tell him the reason.
“There’s this guy…,” I told him.
“Does this guy have a name?” Asked Zenan.
“Um…not yet,” I joked, “But hopefully you will get to know soon. Just not yet.”
He understood and dropped it for the time being. I knew he was probably going to bring it up again sometime, but I hoped by that time Gabriel and I would be a real couple, to the whole world. It still kind of bothered me that we couldn’t be open with how our feelings. But I understood that Gabriel just wasn’t ready, and I was fine with the way things were going for us. It was nice. It just felt like it wasn’t really going anywhere. It felt as if we’d always be stuck telling each other how awesome we thought the other was, but could never share it with the world.
In art we were supposed to be making a clay sculpture of an animal of our choice. I was trying to make a horse, but it looked more like a giraffe, so I told the teacher that’s what I was going for. Aurora made a dog and it looked amazing. Brooke’s was worse than mine though. She attempted to make a dolphin, but it ended up looking like….nothing. Needless to say, the teacher was not impressed. Aurora and I couldn’t help but laugh.
At lunch, my little crew was more hyper than usual. We were singing Lady Gaga really loud and obnoxiously. We talked about how we wanted to have a movie moment where one person starts to sing and dance, then suddenly the whole cafeteria knows the song and dance moves. But we didn’t have such luck. Instead, I got a milk carton to the back.
“Sit the fuck down faggot!” Travis. No surprise there.
A bunch of kids started to laugh. It kind of pissed me off. I was embarrased, but I didn’t say anything. I’m sure he wasn’t the only person that wanted me to shut up in this case. But then he didn’t stop, in his normal Travis fashion.
“Do you even know how gay you are?” He asked.
“Just ignore him,” said Brooke, “He’s obviously just trying to make a scene.” Aurora and Zenan agreed.
I knew they were right, but it was so hard to just ignore it. Even when I did ignore him he continued with his bullshit. Gabriel was sitting at the table with him and other football guys. He looked at me as if to say the same thing as Brooke. I just took a few deep breaths and continued talking to my friends. We tried to talk over Travis’s loud heckling, but it was no use. He was trying to make everyone notice him at all costs.
“Hey, I have a corndog over here, fag. You want it? You want the weiner, fag?”
“Travis, shut the hell up before I bite yours off!” Yelled Aurora.
Aurora’s sudden burst of anger scared the hell out of me. I had never seen her that way before. Her fist was clinched and I think I even saw her throw a little neck roll in there. I kind of liked that side of her. But her actions didn’t make Travis back down.
“Awe you gotta have a girl stick up for you. Are you that big of a pussy?”
“He’s more of a man than you’ll ever be!”, replied Aurora, “He’s not gonna stoop down to your level.”
“Instead he’ll get on his knees!” Travis laughed, along with other students listening in the cafeteria, which was pretty much everyone at this point.
I told Aurora to just give it up. Nothing that we said would shut him up. Of course, he kept going. The thing that bothered me the most wasn’t Travis’s bullshit, but the fact that Gabriel wasn’t doing anything to stop it. The insults and jokes kept coming, one after another. It came to the point where I just couldn’t take it anymore. I was boiling over with anger. I jumped out of my seat and picked up my milk. I ran over to Travis and threw it in his face.
“Fuck you!” I yelled, and walked back to my table.
He got up to come after me but by this point a Vice Principal had come in to interveen. Where the fuck were they when this bitch was harrassing me? I was furious!
“You better watch your back, fag! I’m gonna kick your fucking ass!”
“Go ahead! I’m not scared!”
“You should be!” Those were the last words he said to me before he got dragged away by the VP and a security guard.
“Wow,” said Zenan after I sat back down.
“That was too intense,” said Brooke.
I took some time to cool off. Then, the bell rang to go to class. I wasn’t ready to bare going through the rest of the day with all the people that would be talking about the crap with Travis. Aurora offered to skip fifth period with me so I could chill. We went to the gas station down the street and bought a bunch of junk food. That always made me feel better.
We ended up staying out longer than planned and didn’t get back until the end of sixth period. When the bell rang for seventh, I really didn’t want to go see Gabriel, which was a first. I just couldn’t believe how he sat there and said nothing. I didn’t expect him to be my knight in shining armor and rescue me, but he could have atleast been my friend and told the dick to leave me alone. When I walked into class Gabriel wasn’t there yet. I took my seat and Mrs. Cooper walked over to me.
“I heard about what happened at lunch today. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I replied.
“So Travis was the one that was harrassing you when I stopped it that day?”
“Yep.”
“Well is it over now?”
“I hope so. But I don’t think throwing milk in his face is gonna make him too eager to kiss and make up,” I laughed.
“Well he was harrassing you. He had it coming. That’s the only reason you haven’t been written up.”
Mrs. Cooper talked to me a bit more until more students came into the room. Gabriel strolled in awkwardly. He was trying to avoid looking at me, but I wasn’t going to stand for that. As soon as he sat down I said what was on my mind.
“You should be scared to face me. After you let that dick harrass me like that.”
“Look, you know I couldn’t say anything. He would have given me shit too. You handled it.”
“That was not handling it. It’s not over, and now he’s probably more pissed than ever.”
“What did you want me to do? Fight him for you?”
“No! But you could have done a lot more than you did. A simple ‘stop’ would have been fine.”
“Like he would listen to me.”
“It was worth a shot,” I could feel myself getting angry, so I stopped.
“Look, I’m sorry,” said Gabriel.
I didn’t reply. I just pulled out my book and started taking notes.
“I really am sorry,” said Gabriel again. He sounded sincere, but I didn’t want to talk to him at that moment.
He sighed and turned to face the front. I felt bad for being a dick to him, but I was hurt. I could have never just sit there and let him get bashed that way. I thought he at least should have cared enough to say something.
I managed to not even look at him the whole period. When the bell rang I leaped out of my seat and headed out the door before he could say anything to me. I called Aurora to see where she was because I wanted her to give me a ride, but she didn’t pick up her phone. I texted her and waited for a response. I walked around the school waiting for her to reply. I’m sure Gabriel would have given me a ride, but I didn’t want to ask him. So I waited.
As I passed the tennis court, I heard a voice from behind me. I knew exactly who it was before even looking. I started to try to run away, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me before I had the chance. Perfect…Fucking perfect, I thought.
“Not so brave now that you don’t have your girls to back you up,” said Travis, “I got suspended for your ass, fag!”
“You got yourself suspended,” I stopped, “If you would just leave me alone there wouldn’t be an issue.”
“If you would stop running your little faggot mouth I would.”
“Do you even hear yourself?” I asked
“Do you hear me when I say I’m gonna kick your ass?”
“I hear you fine, but I’m not scared of you!”
“You should be!”, yelled one of Travis’s goons.
“You’re probably right. Stupidity is a pretty scary thing.”
“You callin’ me stupid, fag?” Asked Travis.
“If you have to ask, then you just proved my point.”
Travis pushed me, but I didn’t back down. I was determined to show him that he couldn’t just push me around and expect me to be scared of him.
“My dad raised me to be a man, and he told me that fags like you have no place in our society,” said Travis as he kept walking towards me.
“Well your dad’s a fucking idiot!” I snapped.
I guess this pushed Travis over his limit, because he reared back and punched me square in the face. I was caught off guard and fell onto the ground. You really need to learn to shut up, I thought to myself as I laid on the ground. I started to get up, but before I could Travis kicked me in the stomach. It knocked all of the wind out of me and I crashed back onto the ground. Travis’s friends started kicking me too, one after the other. Then, one of the boys with Travis grabbed me by my collar, picked me up, and slammed me against the brick wall of the side of the school. Then, Travis punched me in the face again. And again. And again.
I was in serious pain. I desperately wanted someone to walk around the corner and stop this, but noone did. In fact, the small group of students that did come our way stopped to watch, and actually started recording it on their phones. The beating continued. I tried to swing back a couple of times, but I was to weak and there were too many of them. Travis kneed me in the stomach twice, and I fell to the ground. I could see blood starting to fall onto the concrete. I didn’t know exactly where it was coming from but I knew it was mine. I was starting to black out when I heard a voice from not too far away.
“Stop!”
I looked up to see who finally came to stop it. It was Gabriel. He ran over to Travis and the boys and stood in front of them. I watched with the little bit of consciousness I had left.
“What the hell are you doing?” Asked Gabriel.
“Giving this queer what he deserves,” replied Travis.
“You need to stop, now,” argued Gabriel, “And how can you all just stand here and watch? Someone fucking call someone!” He addressed the crowd.
“You should be helping us, Gabe. Let’s kick this fag’s ass.”
“No! Just chill out dude.”
“Well if you aren’t gonna help, then get out of the way.”
“I’m not going anywhere. You are gonna stop, or I’ll stop you myself!” Gabriel sounded angry.
“What? You’re gonna fight me, Gabe? For this fag?”
“If that’s what it comes down to.” Gabriel stepped closer to Travis.
Travis was obviously bigger, but that didn’t seem to make Gabriel back down one bit. I saw the anger in his eyes. I guess Travis noticed it too because he backed down a little.
“Why the hell do you care anyway?” Asked Travis.
Gabriel didn’t say anything for a few moments. Then, he looked down at me on the ground. His eyes no longer looked angry, but earnest. He took a deep breath and turned back to Travis.
“Because I love him.”
The words came out clear and strong with no hesitation or stumbles. He sounded so sure. My heart almost stopped once I processed what he had just said. I was just as shocked by his words as everyone else in the crowd. The whole crowd was silent.
“What did you just say?” Asked Travis.
“You heard me,” replied Gabriel, “I love him. I’m fucking in love with him. So are you gonna beat me up and call me a fag too?”
“You’re kidding right?” Asked one of Travis’s goons.
“Not at all. I’ve never been so serious about anything in my life. And I honestly don’t care what any of you have to say.”
“Fucking queer!” Travis yelled as he threw a fist at Gabriel.
Gabriel quickly stepped out of the way and came back with a fist to Travis’s jaw. Travis stumbled a little and came back at Gabriel, but before he could throw another punch, Gabriel punched him again. This time he fell to the ground holding his face. Travis stood up unsteadily and looked as if he might try to through another punch at Gabriel, but then backed down. He stumbled away and his goons quickly followed.
Gabriel hurried over and knelt by my side.
“Are you okay?” He asked in the most sincere voice I had ever heard.
“I will be,” I replied.
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I assured him, “It’s not your fault.”
“If I would have just stopped it earlier none of this would have ever happened.”
“It’s the past. Let’s not dwell on it.”
“You’re bleeding,” said Gabriel.
“I’m aware,” I laughed. Gabriel did too.
Apparently someone had called 911, because an ambulance and cop cars showed up in like five minutes. They said they had to take me to the hospital to check me out. The paramedics called my parents to let them know what had happened and where they were taking me. They were on their way before I was. Gabriel stayed with me while they put me on the stretcher.
“Do you want me to ride in the ambulance with you?” Asked Gabriel.
“I’m fine,” I told him, “Just meet me there if you can.”
“Will do.”
“Oh hey….I love you too,” I said before the paramedics loaded me into the ambulance. Gabriel smiled.
The ride to the hospital was awkward. There was a paramedic sitting next to me as I layed strapped down in the back of the ambulance. I really didn’t feel that bad. I really didn’t like laying there. When we got to the hospital they rolled me into X-Rays right away. They did some more tests and then put me in a room by myself. Gabriel came into my room as soon as the nurse left.
“They made me wait in the lobby,” he said, “How you feeling?”
“I feel fine. Not great, but not too bad.”
The doctor came into the room with my charts. He told me that nothing had broken and that I just had some bruising and swelling. I would just be on a lot of pain medication for a few weeks. Gabriel just looked at me for a while. He didn’t say a word, just sat next to me on the bed and stared. Then, he turned his head and wiped his face, the same way he did in my room that one night. He was crying.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“It’s just…seeing you like this…I hate it. The last time I was in a hospital was with my mom after her accident. It’s all too similar. All too real.”
“It’s okay. I’m fine. I know it’s hard, but just know that I’m okay and I’m not going anywhere.”
“But what if you weren’t fine? What if Travis had seriously hurt you? What if I lost you?”
“You didn’t lose me, Gabriel.”
Before he could say anything else, I pulled him in close to me and kissed him. I wanted the kiss to tell him that he had nothing to worry about. I wanted it to take the place of his worries in his mind. We stayed this way for a while, before I heard someone clear their throat at the door of the room. Gabriel jumped away.
“Hi Mr. And Mrs. Oakley,” he said, nervously.
“Hello, Gabriel,” replied Mom, smiling.
I couldn’t help but laugh. I found the situation hilariously awkward. I guess my laugh was infectious, because my parents started laughing, too. Gabriel started laughing after they did. But then Mom made things awkward again by going up to Gabriel and hugging him.
“Thank you for being here for my Clay. You’re a lovely young man.”
“Thanks. It’s no problem,” replied Gabriel.
Then Mom and Dad came over to me and asked how I was doing. I told them what the doctor had told me and that I could go home the next day. Needless to say, they were pretty happy. Mom offered to stay overnight with me, but Gabriel told her that he could stay. It was so sweet! Mom said it would be fine. She had to lie to the nurse and say that Gabriel was my adopted brother, because they only allowed family to stay overnight with you. Mom and Dad headed home when visiting hours were over.
“So how do you feel about you’re announcement today?” I asked Gabriel.
“I definitely wasn’t expecting for that to come out yet, but I’m glad it did. It’s like a weight has been lifted.”
“Aren’t you worried about people at school?”
“We will face them together,” he said as he grabbed my hand.
“You know, you really told Travis off today.”
“Someone had to,” replied Gabriel, “Did you see the look on his face when I said I loved you.”
We made fun of Travis and laughed for a good hour. Gabriel laid next to me in my hospital bed and talked to me until I dozed off to sleep, thinking about those three words that Gabriel had announced to the rest of the world just hours earlier.
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